# Thoughts on Funerals Since Nobody is Getting Out of This Alive!



## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

People die, that's the way it is.

I believe that Conventional Funerals are a colossal waste of time and money and usually end up extremely stressful for the family members and loved ones.

Many years ago I decided that I would not attend Conventional Funerals for casual friends when someone dies, especially if I do not know the people very well. I'd rather spend some time individually or in a small group with the friend or loved one that I cared about who lost somebody vs being part of this huge show that doesn't benefit most people but is more traumatic on some people during a difficult time. 

This bullshit of spending money and time with a funeral home, buying an over priced gaudy ass coffin and attending a viewing hosted by someone that in most cases does not even know the deceased person but is profiting from it, is not for me. Plus I do not visit any dead people relatives or not, who are in graves in a cemetary, that makes no sense to me.

Same goes for the uncomfortable church services and then showing up at someones home bringing food and fumbling around not knowing what to say.

My wishes for me are to be cremated and either Mrs S or our Sons have a damn party at Slippy Lodge and tell funny stories about what a dopey kid I was all of my life. Eat some good BBQ and if you are inclined, have a few sips of what I enjoyed to remember me. Then take my ashes and put them in a Pine Box--that one day I hope my grandkids and I can build together--if I ever have any grandkids, and they can decorate the box in their own childish ways...just like me! :vs_lol:

Anyway, just wondering what you knuckleheads think about funerals?


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## hawgrider (Oct 24, 2014)

At 8 to 10k minimum for the 3 day event us old folks grew up with. Yeah Im thinking the blast furnace then toss my in the wind at the deer blind or mix ashes with lime to throw in the 10 year hole at the outhouse.


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

Aw jeezus Slippy :vs_laugh: Nothin like a tension breaker! 

I've been to enough funerals, done with 'em.
If I die inside, cremation & ash scattering up here for me
If I die outside, I'll feed the coyotes & ravens & worms, and happy to do so!
Life & death make a perfect circle; it's been a good ride.


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## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

The Squatch will except nothing less than a Viking funeral. I will direct Hot Nursey and the kids to put my dead butt on a boat in the nearest lake or ocean and cast me off. They will then raise their bows and shoot flaming arrows at my death barge until one hits it setting it ablaze. That is what the Squatch wants.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

Sasquatch said:


> The Squatch will except nothing less than a Viking funeral. I will direct Hot Nursey and the kids to put my dead butt on a boat in the nearest lake or ocean and cast me off. They will then raise their bows and shot flaming arrows at my death barge until one hits it setting it ablaze. That is what the Squatch wants.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## SOCOM42 (Nov 9, 2012)

When I go, direct to the incinerator and then a mason jar.

Do not want my departure even listed in the obit's.

I do not go to funerals, last one I went to was in 1957, was dragged along.

Did not go to grand parents (just one when 9 years old, it scared the living hell out of me), parents, or brother.

Have not and will not go to friends close or not, have already told relatives of some I do not and would not go.


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## hawgrider (Oct 24, 2014)

SOCOM42 said:


> When I go, direct to the incinerator and then a mason jar.
> 
> Do not want my departure even listed in the obit's.
> 
> ...


Yeah its tough having that last image of a loved one in a casket embedded in memory for the rest of your life. I'd rather remember them while they were alive. My first one was great grandfather at age 6.

I remember him laying in state to this day vividly!.


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## SOCOM42 (Nov 9, 2012)

hawgrider said:


> Yeah its tough having that last image of a loved one in a casket embedded in memory for the rest of your life. I'd rather remember them while they were alive. My first one was great grandfather at age 6.
> 
> I remember him laying in state to this day vividly!.


Could not have expressed it any better!


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## Chipper (Dec 22, 2012)

Agree with Slippy 100%. Would rather not have my last memory of someone I cared about be of them on display in a fricken box. At some stupid religious ceremony.

Burn me up and throw what's left in a coffee can or Tupperware bowl. Hopefully one of my buddies will take me for one last motorcycle ride. Run it up to 100 plus and pop the top and let me blow away.


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## RubberDuck (May 27, 2016)

I already told my kids I am getting cremated the money saved to do would make a nice family vacation anything is better than putting it in the ground.
I gave them options for my ashes 
Plant a tree on me
Load me in some hunting rounds 
Or spread me with 5lbs of tannerite 

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk


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## SOCOM42 (Nov 9, 2012)

RubberDuck said:


> I already told my kids I am getting cremated the money saved to do would make a nice family vacation anything is better than putting it in the ground.
> I gave them options for my ashes
> Plant a tree on me
> Load me in some hunting rounds
> ...


Made me laugh like hell when I read Tannerite.


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

I've been to plenty of funerals. They don't bother me much anymore, and provide for a place where family can come together around the surviving spouse/kids for comfort and consoling.
Are they a waste of money? Yup.
Do I plan to have one myself? Nope.
The wife and I have agreed on cremation, and something akin to a party.
When ya dead, ya dead. No use making a spectacle out of it to blubber about. That doesn't do anything for the dead.
When my wife's father passed suddenly a few months back, he was an organ donor, so the docs took what they could to help 20 or so people, and the funeral home cremated the rest. We held a small memorial service, and that was that.
A simple end to a simple man's life. A damn good man, at that.

Funny story about my grandfather's funeral...
He was never one to throw money around. So, when he passed, and my grandmother was going over the arrangements they had planned years ago, she was reviewing the coffin selection they had made. The funeral director showed her the one chosen, and she said, "That's not the one we picked." The director found the paperwork for the choice, and pointed to my grandfather's signature saying, "It looks like he came in at some point and changed it."
My grandmother was a bit distraught at this, never having known he'd changed any plans. Then my mother, who was with her, compared the two options and spotted the reason. A $6,000 savings over the original choice! She pointed it out, and they both laughed, knowing full well *THAT* was the exact reason he would have changed it.

From dust, to dust.
I don't know about the rest of you (especially @Slippy), but I'm getting a new body where I'm going. I'm rather looking forward to sloughing off this mortal coil.


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## hawgrider (Oct 24, 2014)

SOCOM42 said:


> Made me laugh like hell when I read Tannerite.


He means it too.... I've seen him in action:Yikes:


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

That's an interesting thread you got here MisterSlippy. As for me I'm going to hope to go out as I lived. With the Holy sacrifice of the Mass. I want a sung Requiem Mass. Afterwards they can put me in a pine box at the graveyard. I don't need anything fancy to go into the ground with. I was reading recently that more and more people are having wakes in their home. I think to me that sounds awesome. Doubt my family would ever go for that though.

Sent from my SM-S337TL using Tapatalk


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## rstanek (Nov 9, 2012)

Toss me on the bonfire at our camping land, have a beer and a shot and call it a day.....


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Need to have a heart to heart with the wife, and girlfriend. They can do whatever they want after I'm gone..
I joke. 
I fully expect to be cremated, no big church funeral, maybe a dinner, with drinks and drinks, and drinks.
We all gotta go sometime, I just hope its on my terms.


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## Back Pack Hack (Sep 15, 2016)

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.

Last funeral I went to I never bothered to 'view the body'. Someone asked if I had seen 'Jerry', I said, "No, cuz that's not Jerry laying in there."


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

In the ground within 24 hours. No embalming. No church service. No obit as those who know me best will know that I've passed. Throw me into the dirt in the cheapest box there is as the worms won't be impressed by an expensive box.
There, I will "sleep," as Apostle Paul said until Jesus comes in the clouds and calls me home. Why bust through an expensive box, I ask?


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## SOCOM42 (Nov 9, 2012)

Annie said:


> That's an interesting thread you got here MisterSlippy. As for me I'm going to hope to go out as I lived. With the Holy sacrifice of the Mass. I want a sung Requiem Mass. Afterwards they can put me in a pine box at the graveyard. I don't need anything fancy to go into the ground with. I was reading recently that more and more people are having wakes in their home. I think to me that sounds awesome. Doubt my family would ever go for that though.
> 
> Sent from my SM-S337TL using Tapatalk


Around seventy to eighty years ago, what is known today as a living room in our homes were called a parlor.

Funerals were held in those rooms more so than in a commercial funeral parlor.

A generational stigma grew about the name and implication.

The rooms' name was changed to living room,

with the implication just the opposite of what it had previously implied.

My parents and grand parents intermittently used the prior name and sometimes I did to until I realized the implication.

I think it is insane to have one in the home, especially if they were found dead there in the first place.

My brother will never forget finding our grandmother dead in the living room sitting upright in the chair.

The image of someone lying in state , in your home would put me over the edge for sure, never again!


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## Pir8fan (Nov 16, 2012)

Turn me to ashes and scatter me in the mountains.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Funerals are nothing more than an excuse for a bunch of douchebag relatives that I never cared for in life to come together, feign compassion for my family and fight over my stuff. Hopefully Mrs Inor and our kids are smart enough to tell them to take a flying f$%k at a rolling donut when I peg out.


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)




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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

So .... you guys aren't coming to my funeral?


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

SOCOM42 said:


> Around seventy to eighty years ago, what is known today as a living room in our homes were called a parlor.
> 
> Funerals were held in those rooms more so than in a commercial funeral parlor.
> 
> ...


That is interesting about the switch to "living room". I'd sort of figured about the parlor part, never thought about the word switch off though. Thanks.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Awesome responses you knuckleheads! I wouldn't have expected otherwise from you all.

Maybe in late spring when the ground is still damp and the rains stop, I'm gonna take my tractor and grader and carve out a nice little "Garden" between the Fire Pit and one of the Range Benches. I like planting shit so I think I'll plant me some;

Azaleas; I like the hybrid Azaleas that bloom twice a year, Red if possible.
Crepe Myrtles; Pretty when they bloom in the summer and might as well go with the White flowers
Forsythia; Stunning Golden Yellow blooms in the early Spring
Butterfly Bushes; who doesn't like butterflies flying around!
Flowering Sage; Blue Flowers on Green Stems in the Fall and Winter
And maybe couple of dwarf Japanese Maples.

And when my days on Earth are done, maybe they'll plant the little pine box that I hope the grandkids make for their "BoomPa's" ashes. (Boompa is the name Mrs S has picked for me when we are grandparents).

Yeah, that sounds like a nice little project...:encouragement:

(PS @Kauboy yes, me and The Lord got it worked out for my new body too!:vs_closedeyes


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

A Watchman said:


> So .... you guys aren't coming to my funeral?


You and me both, but I don't take it personally. Not many funeral-goers on prepper forums, it would seem.


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Hell I hope I don't make it to my funeral...


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

[video]THE LOVED ONE (Tony RICHARDSON, 1965) Liberace[/video]


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

My wife has informed me I have nothing to say about it if I go first. She is mostly leaning towards burying in the ground. I am for cremation, she is starting to lean a little my way. If she puts me in the ground my Class A dress uniform is prepared already.


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

A Watchman said:


> So .... you guys aren't coming to my funeral?


Are you kidding?? I've been selling tickets for weeks! :vs_smirk:


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

There are some people in this world I do not want to know I am dead. I want the to worry a bit longer.


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

Cremation and dump ashes (illegally) into the St. Croix River between Vanceboro Maine and St Croix New Brunswick

coffins are a waste and take up too much space on the earth

funeral.. get some family and friends together and toast my life


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## Go2ndAmend (Apr 5, 2013)

There will be nothing left when I am done. It could be a grizzly bear on the backside of the Rockies, perishing in a winters storm in some far off place, or blown to smitherines seconds after I plunge a knife into the neck of a suicide vest wearing Muslim extremist.


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## Crunch (Dec 12, 2019)

Cremation, bury my ashes in our pet cemetery with a marker made of 40 lbs of QuikRete, my first name and birth/death year spelled out in carpet tacks, just like those of our pets buried there.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Being an MC biker I usually find out at the last minute that a brother has died, usually in traffic. There is a large room at Gunderson's and we all know where to gather. I was still a teenager when I patched, and the idea of someone of my own age passing was a difficult thing to ponder.

Then college hit and the Madison area boys got sent to Vietnam. Some of them came back my junior year to finish college, but they weren't the same boys I knew.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Go2ndAmend said:


> There will be nothing left when I am done. It could be a grizzly bear on the backside of the Rockies, perishing in a winters storm in some far off place, or *blown to smitherines seconds after I plunge a knife into the neck of a suicide vest wearing Muslim extremist.*


And now is a good time to remind everyone to use their KA BARS to cut up bacon, you never know when you'll have to plunge the knife into the neck of a suicide vest wearing muslime...:vs_smile:


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Go2ndAmend said:


> There will be nothing left when I am done. It could be a grizzly bear on the backside of the Rockies, perishing in a winters storm in some far off place, or *blown to smitherines seconds after I plunge a knife into the neck of a suicide vest wearing Muslim extremist.*


And now is a good time to remind everyone to use their KA BARS to cut up bacon, you never know when you'll have to plunge the knife into the neck of a suicide vest wearing muslime...:vs_smile:

View attachment 102845


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Seems like the waste of a good Ka-bar. Wouldn't it be more cost effective to just use that knife and sharpen a stick? I mean, if you get caught the cops would just confiscate "wood."


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

("PSSST", Slippy whispers,..."I think ^^^someone^^^missed the point"...:vs_smile


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

Me - cremation and internment at Jacksonville National Cemetery.
wife - cremation and ashes into the Atlantic Ocean.


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

I write this answer having not read many of the responses, but instead wanting to get my thoughts down first.

Funerals are more for the living than for the Dead. To help them deal with the loss process and move forward. This process does create stress and complications to the surviving family, but in part, that is why you do it. To give the family a 10 foot target to focus on as they walk down a dark road. Little steps over the course of a week or two to focus on, something that is even related to the grief, but still focuses them on doing a task, even though they are bereaved.

I do not believe in the modern business of funeral costs and truly believe if I want to be buried in a pine box I should be. $650 for a funeral plot wasn't too bad. $2,000 for a headstone is excessive, and $8k for a casket is overkill. 

I go to funerals to show the surviving people support and respect. I do it to help them get through a hard time, by reminding them that life goes on and remember the good parts. I wouldn't go to a funeral of someone I only knew individually (if I didn't know his family), because I can't help someone that doesn't know me. I wouldn't know where to start.

What do I want? I want my family to move on quickly, to focus on coming to grips with the reality of it, and remember me in stories to thier kids. In part I hope my body remains undiscovered, curled up in a fetal position in a cave somewhere. Everyone dies alone. In truth I don't care if they chunk me in the clay or burn me with a viking pyre.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

I told my wife to keep it simple. Don’t spend a lot of money or have a large funeral. After her and her boyfriend return form the trip around the world that my insurance money paid for they can just put me in the dumpster. :tango_face_grin:


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## Ragnarök (Aug 4, 2014)

I want to be blasted out of a circus canon into a pigpen.


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## hawgrider (Oct 24, 2014)

Ragnarök said:


> I want to be blasted out of a circus canon into a pigpen.


Ok that's kinda funny right there! Love the circus cannon idea.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Not sure where he got it from but Dad often said . Save the tears for the living the dead do not need them. In our church as we celebrate life, we do not see it as the end. There is joy in dead also.


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## dwight55 (Nov 9, 2012)

I prefer cremation, . . . my wife says no, . . . it will be her choice if I'm not here.

OTOH, . . . if I find out (as did a good friend I lost a month ago), . . . to humor her, . . . I'm building my own pine box, . . . out of pine.

Since I'm the church pastor, . . . I can probably get the church for nothing.

She can get me embalmed, . . . dropped in the box, . . . a friend can say some kind words, . . . and the church and my friends can have the big dinner we usually have after "celebrations of life" have been conducted at our church.

We focus on the good things of the persons life, . . . opting to remember them, . . . and reminding everyone that some day, . . . all are going to meet Jesus, . . . not muhhammad, . . . allah, . . . or bhudda, . . . and they need to be ready for such a meeting.

I'll be planted on a hill side in Ky, . . . near my dear old grandmother, grandfather, . . . and next to my baby sister.

When Jesus comes back, . . . we'll rise together.

And yes, . . . I do believe in funerals, . . . simply because lives can become a diabolical train wreck when there is no closure, . . . no final chapter. Friends and those who truly loved, . . . not the crocodile tear lovers, . . . need to come together and agree it is over, . . . but it was a good run while it lasted. Only a proper funeral can do that.

And I feel sorry for those who are selfish enough to take that away from those who do need it and did love them. In the end, . . . they just proved to be selfish and hateful to those that loved them.

May God bless,
Dwight


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

dwight55 said:


> And I feel sorry for those who are selfish enough to take that away from those who do need it and did love them. In the end, . . . they just proved to be selfish and hateful to those that loved them.
> 
> May God bless,
> Dwight


Perhaps you could also feel sorry for those of us who have no one left to mourn our passing.


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Slippy said:


> People die, that's the way it is.
> 
> I believe that Conventional Funerals are a colossal waste of time and money and usually end up extremely stressful for the family members and loved ones.
> 
> ...


 My instructions are for a cheap creamation and ashes in a plastic lined cardboard box and dumped in the the back yard next to the Mama in laws ashes and several pets including a hermit crab namd Luna. At a later date have a memorial service for my pals at the sports grill. Everybody gets draw beer bar whiskey and tacos..and wings up till five hundred bucks runs out then they are on their own. I am thinking of havign some bracelets printed up to give to my pals so no freeloading mooches I dont know shows up. But still thinking on that angle and dont really dont know how many I will need but I dont have many friends so that should be pretty cheap on that.


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## Joe (Nov 1, 2016)

we had an interesting episode at work a year ago or so. In Ohio if you have 5 acres or more you can be buried on your own land. A patient of ours previous to his death (he was dying of cancer and knew he would die soon) had his Amish neighbors make him a coffin. He had his family get out the backhoe and dig the grave. when he died here at the hospital his family showed up with the coffin and some dry ice in the back of their pickup truck. they then took him home and buried him. the only legal stipulation was that the coroner had to sign the death warrant. The nurses here were astonished at all of it. I just smiled. Its called being a prepper.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

I have little family left that knows I am alive or cares. My Mom and Dad are still alive, but against all predictions to the contrary, it looks like I will outlive them, an aunt who may outlive us all, and a brother, whom I am close with. Other then that, it’s my wife and her boyfriend. So, have a drink, light a match and move on. No need of a funeral or wake. 

I have done the long church funerals, the long funeral processions to the grave, and then a long drawn out service at the gravesite. Why? I was actually at a funeral where the full grown kids tried to crawl in the casket with their mother, crying and wailing the whole time. Again, why? They little remembered dear old Mom after they spent her inheritance. We are soon forgotten after we’re gone. Just like the millions before us and the millions that will die after us. Mourn the loss and then let it go.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

bigwheel said:


> My instructions are for a cheap creamation and ashes in a plastic lined cardboard box and dumped in the the back yard next to the Mama in laws ashes and several pets including a *hermit crab namd Luna*. At a later date have a memorial service for my pals at the sports grill. Everybody gets draw beer bar whiskey and tacos..and wings up till five hundred bucks runs out then they are on their own. I am thinking of havign some bracelets printed up to give to my pals so no freeloading mooches I dont know shows up. But still thinking on that angle and dont really dont know how many I will need but I dont have many friends so that should be pretty cheap on that.


Well that brought a tear to my eye. Keep us posted on the distribution of the bracelets for the draw beer, whisky, tacos and wing celebration.

Sorry to hear about Luna, I'm sure y'all had some wonderful times together. lain:


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## hawgrider (Oct 24, 2014)

Or..... you could go out like this?









FISH FOR ETERNITY IN A JON BOAT CASKET


> When it's your time to go, why not do it in style?
> Why be buried in a nondescript coffin, when you can fish for eternity in an awesome Jon boat casket.
> 
> An Arkansas company has come up with a creative way to show your true love for the outdoors,


https://www.wideopenspaces.com/fish-for-eternity-in-a-jon-boat-casket/


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## jimLE (Feb 8, 2014)

i don't know what I dislike going to the most.wedding's or funereals.i aint that sociable. 

i want to be stuffed and to look like the grim weeper.then stood outside the whitehouse faceing the oval office.


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

jimLE said:


> i want to be stuffed and to look like the grim weeper.then stood outside the whitehouse faceing the oval office.


Death and taxes.
Perfect!


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

The reason that cemeteries are a waste of land

25 years after you are dead - you are just a memory to a few family members

50 years - you are barely a memory

75 years - most of your living family were born after you died

100 years - nobody knew or remembers you..your grave is never visited, nobody cares about anything you did during your life.. you are just a waste of ground


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## Demitri.14 (Nov 21, 2018)

The father of one of my co-workers died last year. It turns out his hobby ( the fathers) was making amateur fireworks. Yep, They loaded his ashes in a couple of aerial Star-Bursts and shot him up. 

I just want to be cremated and my ashes spread around my beloved hunting camp. No Viewing, If you can't visit me when I am alive, don't bother when I am dead !


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## Demitri.14 (Nov 21, 2018)

$8K for a casket is outrageous. I might order one from Amazon... Under $1K And FREE SHIPPING with Prime

https://www.amazon.com/Titan-Orion-...sr_1_7?keywords=caskets&qid=1579278518&sr=8-7


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## Back Pack Hack (Sep 15, 2016)

Green internment for me.


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

Demitri.14 said:


> $8K for a casket is outrageous. I might order one from Amazon... Under $1K And FREE SHIPPING with Prime
> 
> https://www.amazon.com/Titan-Orion-...sr_1_7?keywords=caskets&qid=1579278518&sr=8-7


"Sponsored products related to this item"
Numerous motocross offroad motorcycle helmets...

:laughhard:


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## Crunch (Dec 12, 2019)

Kauboy said:


> "Sponsored products related to this item"
> Numerous motocross offroad motorcycle helmets...
> 
> :laughhard:


I didn't see the helmets, but they're often tailored based on your browsing history. The first reviewer's comment is morbidly humorous though.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

Paraphrasing Ron White from one of his skits, Go out in the woods and get eaten by a bear so you can thumb your nose at folks who said you'd never amount to shit.


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

Here are a few of my thoughts .....

It don't make a dern what Slip thinks or wants. As soon as the ole' buzard bites the bullet, me and Mrs Slip are gonna do exactly what we want to do with his bag of bones.

I live in the land of ample property here in Texas and cemetery's are everywhere, heck many have their own. All little communities have one as well. We still place great value in publically showing support, respect and comforting the family. 

Yes, cremation is a thing but not yet the norm. I do however, see a trend in cutting costs by abandoning the typical memorial service in a chapel or the funeral home and just having a simple grave side service. My parents, grandparents, and many relatives are buried in a rural community cemetary about 35 miles from where I reside, with a burial plott costing $250.

I have large life insurance policies on my family even the grown kids, that will pay for whatever somebody wants, and still leave plent of party money to rebound and start a new life. 

Besides, I like going to funerals because I look kick ass in a sport coat with a shirt untucked underneath and pressed jeans. 

Finally .... I saw a movie once where guys were picking up chicks at funerals. Ya just never know when Lady Luck is gonna shine down on ya. :tango_face_wink:


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## jimLE (Feb 8, 2014)

id probably convert a casket into something else if i had one.like a food cabinet. Who's gonna mess with a casket if they break into a home and see it.lol


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## Back Pack Hack (Sep 15, 2016)

jimLE said:


> id probably convert a casket into something else if i had one.like a food cabinet. Who's gonna mess with a casket if they break into a home and see it.lol


Might make a great faraday cage..... :tango_face_grin:


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## jimLE (Feb 8, 2014)

for electronics or me?lol


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## Back Pack Hack (Sep 15, 2016)

jimLE said:


> for electronics or me?lol


Electronics, silly. Hoomans don't need faraday cages for EMP protection.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Bikers have oddball funerals. For one thing, the several dozen guys he rode with all find out his real name.

As you know, the funeral for William "Tiny" Alexander hit me the hardest. He had recently been to my home, it would be the last time I would see him alive. While I polished, he sipped some Patron and we talked about "the old days" and how many times we were almost killed. Oh, and I told him "our saloon," The Wisco, was now the gathering place for some of my female clients--they play music there now.

Tiny was known by thousands of folks from a tri-state area. Not just as a biker, but for all the work he did for children in the community. I could never figure that out until the funeral. I saw a kind of a "June Cleaver" with three young men in their early to mid twenties. As I paid my respects, I passed this woman and asked her what her relationship was to Tiny. I was shocked to find out she was his wife and the boys were his sons!

I rode with him for decades, and he never mentioned his family. Then again, I never talked about my family either...


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## SOCOM42 (Nov 9, 2012)

jimLE said:


> id probably convert a casket into something else if i had one.like a food cabinet. Who's gonna mess with a casket if they break into a home and see it.lol


A friend who passed away 10 years ago had a steel casket in his bottle return room at the store.

The caskets were from the Trappist monastery nearby, they were no longer fit to bury the passing brothers.

To those that do not remember my posting about friend,

he had a package store/general store which I got cases of booze from at his passing.

He gave me a map with the measurements from two points in his back yard, dig there, we did, found another casket in the hole!

In that one there were 6 AKM's, 6 cases of 7.62X39 ammo and 54 mags.


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## KUSA (Apr 21, 2016)

I would prefer that my body be tossed in the woods for the animals to eat.

It makes no sense for my remains to be kept in any type of container. It makes no sense to burn fuel to turn me into smoke.

I’ll probably just find a hidden spot deep in the woods so nobody will even have to choose what to do with me.


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## Elvis (Jun 22, 2018)

Long ago I helped dig up a few caskets in a cemetery that was being moved. One of them broke open holding a guy who had been embalmed and buried 35 years before. He was still wonderfully preserved.; hair and skin all good but a bit dried out. Clothes dusty but also still in good shape.

After seeing him I thought he was lasting like a piece of plastic. I don't want to be a perfectly preserved piece of plastic 1000 years after I die. I will be cremated and go back to the earth. 
Nowadays they have some all natural burials with no embalming and no casket; just wrapped in a sheet and put in the ground to decay naturally. They require a special permitted cemetery. I'd be good with that too.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

I always feel like I should say something, but don't, when someone looks at the deceased and says they look so natural. Not sure what I would say anyway, other than being disrespectful.


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## jimb1972 (Nov 12, 2012)

I have instructed my wife to go the cardboard box cremation route. No reason to waste thousands on a couple hundred pounds of rotting meat.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

1skrewsloose said:


> I always feel like I should say something, but don't, when someone looks at the deceased and says they look so natural. Not sure what I would say anyway, other than being disrespectful.


Something like; "He didn't look that good when he was alive" :vs_lol:


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

A funeral is big expense. Mrs. Camel and I have elected cremation.


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## Chiefster23 (Feb 5, 2016)

In the chiefster house, we have elected no viewing, no services, no grave site. Just cremation as cheap as possible and then ashes scattered in a favorite place. Mrs chiefster only has an adult daughter and I have pretty much no one so spending $ to enrich the undertaker makes zero sense.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Chiefster23 said:


> In the chiefster house, we have elected no viewing, no services, no grave site. Just cremation as cheap as possible and then ashes scattered in a favorite place. Mrs chiefster only has an adult daughter and I have pretty much no one so spending $ to enrich the undertaker makes zero sense.


(Slippy wonders if Chiefster would make him the sole beneficiary of his vast estate. Slippy promises that the majority of the proceeds will go towards Whisky, Women and Guns! The rest will be blown on frivalous scat! :vs_smirk


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## Chiefster23 (Feb 5, 2016)

If Slippy inherited Chiefster’s estate, Slippy would only be able to party with cheap wine, 2nd or 3rd hand cheap guns, and maybe one very old cheap assed hooker. There wouldn’t be any left over for wasting on scat!


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## stowlin (Apr 25, 2016)

Plan

It’s already started. I aim to share my writings with nephews and nieces. We have no kids. These twerps (nephews and nieces) will have to suffer through what we have written, and then will have to decipher some codes. Some codes are easy some won’t be, but they will have to look up my das DOB, my moms first address and things I want them to know. When they do they’ll be directed to places I want them to see, visit, and find my stashes of goods, bullion, and more. Otherwise they get what they deserve . NOTHING.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

stowlin said:


> Plan
> 
> It's already started. I aim to share my writings with nephews and nieces. We have no kids. These twerps (nephews and nieces) will have to suffer through what we have written, and then will have to decipher some codes. Some codes are easy some won't be, but they will have to look up my das DOB, my moms first address and things I want them to know. When they do they'll be directed to places I want them to see, visit, and find my stashes of goods, bullion, and more. Otherwise they get what they deserve . NOTHING.


You're an asshole.
My hero!


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

Something like; "He didn't look that good when he was alive" @Prepared One

That is priceless, hope you don't mind if I use it.


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## vf750rider (Sep 23, 2017)

I have a 1992 Camaro that I've put well over $20k into over the years restoring it from the ground up - just a street car with new replacement parts and pretty paint job. And it still doesn't go fast enough for me!

I've instructed everyone to put my dead carcass inside, my rigamortis death grip on steering wheel, set Camaro on straight stretch of any highway, ratchet strap a rocket to the top (like Wyle E. Coyote), light that beotch, ding mugs and toast to me a cold one as I go up in flames 1/4 mile away! 

{of course I'd like at least one AR-15 mounted with 60 round drum and trigger taped down in hopes that with any luck a gun grabber might be in front of me}


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

vf750rider said:


> I have a 1992 Camaro that I've put well over $20k into over the years restoring it from the ground up - just a street car with new replacement parts and pretty paint job. And it still doesn't go fast enough for me!
> 
> I've instructed everyone to put my dead carcass inside, my rigamortis death grip on steering wheel, set Camaro on straight stretch of any highway, ratchet strap a rocket to the top (like Wyle E. Coyote), light that beotch, ding mugs and toast to me a cold one as I go up in flames 1/4 mile away!
> 
> {of course I'd like at least one AR-15 mounted with 60 round drum and trigger taped down in hopes that with any luck a gun grabber might be in front of me}


You're a freaking lunatic!
Much respect.

That's about how I want to pop smoke and leave this world. Around 130 MPH, trying to figure out how to regain control of the machine.


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## marineimaging (Jun 1, 2013)

I think you showed your true nature. I spent many years pulling the deceased from fires, floods, and numerous other disasters however, I too did not attend funerals of those I didn't know or know very well. Then I went to one where I knew the man who lost his wife to cancer. What I experienced was all new. It is up the the family how they want to remember their loved ones. Not you. Nor was it ever about the dead or the ceremony or the body or the casket. It was about compassion for the living. I even attended a few pet funerals knowing full well that animals do not have a soul. Hated the idea of a "pet funeral" but then it is about the human heart suffering loss..., and that has proven good enough reason to be compassionate. Do your own thing, but referring to those who care for others as knuckleheads is pretty much where we get the idea of what it is to be a narcissist.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

marineimaging said:


> I think you showed your true nature...Do your own thing, but referring to those who care for others as knuckleheads is pretty much where we get the idea of what it is to be a narcissist.


Excellent response @marineimaging...I was wondering if you would expound a bit on what you think you know about someone's "true nature"?

Inquiring knucklehead's would love to know!

Thanks

Your friend,

Slippy! :vs_smile:


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

What post is this in reference to? I'm late to the game. I guess I can always go back and re-read 10 pages.


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## marineimaging (Jun 1, 2013)

I might be off base..., I said it on another post and will expound. The OP is right. We are all going to die. Funerals as we know them will be a thing of the past, for a while. A lot of folks posting on here have never experienced a real tragedy. From experience I know that who we are in a time of drought will come out as a testament to our "true nature". Our true nature is to either be selfish or selfless. There is often a lot of vacillating but who we are will soon reveal itself. What is said on here is sometimes bravado. Sometimes just fanciful thinking. A lot will start off being selfish. Some will come around to understanding that "selfish" doesn't work long term. Many of the selfish who don't eventually understand that will die leaving all they hoarded behind.

In less than a week people bury the dead and begin to work at cleaning up and rebuilding. Both as individuals and as groups dictated by proximity and skills. People migrate toward a winner and away from a loser. (It seems to be the nature of many survivalist to think they are going to survive on their own. To what end? To live a while, die, and leave nothing good behind? That's not surviving. That is prolonging the inevitable.) Those communities that come together after a disaster will not only survive, they will thrive. Many individualist who thought they would do it on their own will see that bringing skill sets to the table and living with others is the way to survive.


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## hawgrider (Oct 24, 2014)

All I hear is Charlie browns teacher.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

marineimaging said:


> I might be off base..., I said it on another post and will expound. The OP is right. We are all going to die. Funerals as we know them will be a thing of the past, for a while. A lot of folks posting on here have never experienced a real tragedy. From experience I know that who we are in a time of drought will come out as a testament to our "true nature". Our true nature is to either be selfish or selfless. There is often a lot of vacillating but who we are will soon reveal itself. What is said on here is sometimes bravado. Sometimes just fanciful thinking. A lot will start off being selfish. Some will come around to understanding that "selfish" doesn't work long term. Many of the selfish who don't eventually understand that will die leaving all they hoarded behind.
> 
> In less than a week people bury the dead and begin to work at cleaning up and rebuilding. Both as individuals and as groups dictated by proximity and skills. People migrate toward a winner and away from a loser. (It seems to be the nature of many survivalist to think they are going to survive on their own. To what end? To live a while, die, and leave nothing good behind? That's not surviving. That is prolonging the inevitable.) Those communities that come together after a disaster will not only survive, they will thrive. Many individualist who thought they would do it on their own will see that bringing skill sets to the table and living with others is the way to survive.


Again, thank you for another introspective and thought-provoking response! :vs_clap:

On a side note, I'd like to extend an apology...I mistakenly thought I was on the "Forums for People Who Have Never Experienced a True Tragedy", my bad. :vs_worry:

Oh well, back to hoarding! :vs_wave:


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## SOCOM42 (Nov 9, 2012)

marineimaging said:


> I might be off base..., I said it on another post and will expound. The OP is right. We are all going to die. Funerals as we know them will be a thing of the past, for a while. A lot of folks posting on here have never experienced a real tragedy. From experience I know that who we are in a time of drought will come out as a testament to our "true nature". Our true nature is to either be selfish or selfless. There is often a lot of vacillating but who we are will soon reveal itself. What is said on here is sometimes bravado. Sometimes just fanciful thinking. A lot will start off being selfish. Some will come around to understanding that "selfish" doesn't work long term. Many of the selfish who don't eventually understand that will die leaving all they hoarded behind.
> 
> In less than a week people bury the dead and begin to work at cleaning up and rebuilding. Both as individuals and as groups dictated by proximity and skills. People migrate toward a winner and away from a loser. (It seems to be the nature of many survivalist to think they are going to survive on their own. To what end? To live a while, die, and leave nothing good behind? That's not surviving. That is prolonging the inevitable.) Those communities that come together after a disaster will not only survive, they will thrive. Many individualist who thought they would do it on their own will see that bringing skill sets to the table and living with others is the way to survive.


Do any of these qualify as true tragedies to you? Putting guys in body bags,

The deaths of both parents, four grandparents, brother, having to pick up pieces of what were people and bagging them,

pulling out good friends from a sunken aircraft after a week down in the ocean,

and having crabs and lobsters crawl out of the chest cavities.

What "true" tragedies have you gone through???

Never been in combat have you???

Who the hell cares about leaving anything "good" behind?


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

Slippy said:


> Again, thank you for another introspective and thought-provoking response! :vs_clap:
> 
> On a side note, I'd like to extend an apology...I mistakenly thought I was on the "Forums for People Who Have Never Experienced a True Tragedy", my bad. :vs_worry:
> 
> Oh well, back to hoarding! :vs_wave:


Darn ..... and all this time I thought we were the "Forums for People That Didn't Know They Were A Knucklehead"!


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## ContagionPrepper (Mar 14, 2020)

I agree that the fancy coffins and funerals are a waste of money. Your perspective feels very realist and practical. Let's just cremate, have a wake and BBQ, and move forward. To me personally, I don't have a feeling about funerals one way or another. I'll leave it up to my wife and let her decide what she would like to do. If my wife dies before me, I will likely be cremated, no funeral necessary, and move forward. The obligatory obituary in the paper is enough for me. Some people "need" the funeral to personally, spiritually, or culturally move forward and that's something I'm supportive of.


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## MI.oldguy (Apr 18, 2013)

I like gasoline.


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## Back Pack Hack (Sep 15, 2016)

MI.oldguy said:


> I like gasoline.


Doesn't work too well. Just ask Adolph and Eva.


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## marineimaging (Jun 1, 2013)

I spent 20 years pulling crab infested bodies out of the Neches and Sabine rivers, Galveston Bay and the Houston ship channel as a Marine Rescue Lt and Coast Guard Coxswain. As firefighter and EMT putting the remains of hundreds of highway accident victims in the ambulance or body bags. Picking up little girls torsos and a grandfathers charred remains from burned out homes just to name a few. A co-workers brains off the highway and what was left of a farmer out the treads of a bulldozer. Hiked out of the forest carrying the very short body of a pilot who was flying a pipeline one minute and into the ground the next. Gun shot victims missing half their head or a deputy with a clean .45 hole dead center of his chest. Teen girl kicked in the head by a horse and left a vegetable. A linesman working a pole when lightening hit the transformer he was working on. His own ER nurse wife didn't even recognize him when we rolled him in on a gurney. That's just a few. Including my own brother's body thrown out of his vehicle under a bridge to be eaten by the crabs and the teen bother of my brother in law whom we caught with dragging hooks in the middle of the night after he disappeared swimming. Teenage cancer victim who was the son of one of our captains, carried on the back of a fire truck one last time to the grave site. Yep, I was in a war. A war against the elements and evil people right here in small town America. Do you need more to compare? I got a lot more. That's why I now live quietly in our Colorado mountain home and refuse to join the local volunteer fire department even though I have enough credentials to be their training officer. Maybe you haven't had enough, but I have.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

marineimaging said:


> I spent 20 years pulling crab infested bodies out of the Neches and Sabine rivers, Galveston Bay and the Houston ship channel as a Marine Rescue Lt and Coast Guard Coxswain. As firefighter and EMT putting the remains of hundreds of highway accident victims in the ambulance or body bags. Picking up little girls torsos and a grandfathers charred remains from burned out homes just to name a few. A co-workers brains off the highway and what was left of a farmer out the treads of a bulldozer. Hiked out of the forest carrying the very short body of a pilot who was flying a pipeline one minute and into the ground the next. Gun shot victims missing half their head or a deputy with a clean .45 hole dead center of his chest. Teen girl kicked in the head by a horse and left a vegetable. A linesman working a pole when lightening hit the transformer he was working on. His own ER nurse wife didn't even recognize him when we rolled him in on a gurney. That's just a few. Including my own brother's body thrown out of his vehicle under a bridge to be eaten by the crabs and the teen bother of my brother in law whom we caught with dragging hooks in the middle of the night after he disappeared swimming. Teenage cancer victim who was the son of one of our captains, carried on the back of a fire truck one last time to the grave site. Yep, I was in a war. A war against the elements and evil people right here in small town America. Do you need more to compare? I got a lot more. That's why I now live quietly in our Colorado mountain home and refuse to join the local volunteer fire department even though I have enough credentials to be their training officer. Maybe you haven't had enough, but I have.


My only experience with that was as a volunteer fire fighter in Park County. Small town and we did it all. Once worked a fatality where his brains were all over the road. The only thing that really bothered me were the dead children. While I was there (3 years) the only fatalities we dealt with were accidents. No lives lost fighting fires.


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## Go2ndAmend (Apr 5, 2013)

Since I am never going to die, this topic does not concern me much. I will say though, that I have recently consumed a copious amount of beer and tequila and it is possible that my judgement might be a little off.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

my friend was the undertaker for my son. He allowed me to pray over him before cremation. The funeral was healing for me the others that came to support me, His 2/7 brothers from the marines. I go to the grave site often about a 3 hour round trip about 1x per month or two. (more often before) its a beautiful drive and i can wash his head stone and bring flowers. I cant go to funerals right now- I am unable to process or be around other peoples grief. so i dont go. 

for me, cremation is fine, being composted is fine so i can be a tree or a sack of weed. Im not picky. pretty sure it doesnt really matter.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

Buried within 24 hours. No embalming fluid. Cheapest box allowed.


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## RubberDuck (May 27, 2016)

Denton said:


> Buried within 24 hours. No embalming fluid. Cheapest box allowed.


This should do..


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## MI.oldguy (Apr 18, 2013)

Burn me.may I fertilize a tree.


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

My daughter in law's mother recently passed. She died penniless and her daughter and my son sure can't afford it. They only had 350.00 and the funeral home quoted them $4,000.00 for a basic cremation. I encouraged him to call around. He did. Memphis cremation services quoted them $800.00 all inclusive. They upgraded the urn, I sent them $500.00 and it was done. I do not need a funeral and all of the trappings. We have a family cemetery but I don't even care for a headstone. Spread my ashes on the farm, read a couple of my favorite scriptures and say a poetic benediction then live.


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