# Well, POO!!!!



## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

There's a prep out there that I have never heard ANYBODY talking about, one that to me is so staggeringly obvious but I've never seen it mentioned online.

Instead of storing a year's worth of TP for however many people involved, there's a simple, inexpensive and (most importantly) extremely SMALL option for dealing with personal hygiene in the event of a long-term power outage... bidet bottles.

Basically, a bidet bottle is a spray bottle for cleaning your nether regions... you fill it with water before you "do your business" and then, when you are done, you spray yourself clean. It also works for females in place of using toilet paper after urination.

In many countries, bidets are built into public and private homes... they are a standard hygiene device used throughout Europe. They are tied into the plumbing system alongside of (or installed in) toilets for washing people's backsides. Portable bidets are simply smaller, hand held units that you squeeze to provide pressure for washing.

I first discovered them when I had a saddle sore (from riding my bike) that had to be treated several times a day. I have since become a regular user (although, frankly, I "do my paperwork" then I "get that fresh, clean feeling" from the bidet).

SO... since I am a prepper, and since I have used them before, I thought I would do a series of reviews for you guys on different models of bidets.

Some of you all are probably freaking out and saying "gross!" but YOU are going to have to do something if/when you run out of TP... and TP also takes a LOT of space up in your storage area. I definitely would stock one bidet for each person (just like a toothbrush, you don't want to share one of these things) and a couple spares "just in case" one breaks.

Here's a photo of the models I have lined up to test. I will take pictures (pre-use  ) of each of them as we go along!


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## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

Hmmm.... what a choice. Use precious water (Arizona, here) or ....... let's see, what WOULD I use here? No big tree leaves to speak of, no moss, no corn cobs. All the trees and plants have thorns. I think I better just keep stocking up on TP. Or you can do what middle east people do - use a finger of the left hand. It only takes one square of TP to wipe the finger!


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

The portable bidet thing is okay, but how do you dry your 'nether regions' post spray? TP just disintegrates when it gets wet, and your use of this precious material would increase dramatically.

I keep baby wipes. JMHO.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

If there's one thing people say about me is; Damn, that Slippy got him a clean ass!

So bring on the reviews Salty, I'm one who is always looking for some ass cleaning tips and hints.


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## just mike (Jun 25, 2014)

Went to Europe as a young lad and the first hotel bathroom I went into I was like WTF is that. After a week or so I started using the bidet also--the TP over there was like wiping your ass with crepe paper, nothing like the charmin I was used to. Looking forward to the revues.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Sounds like something I should acquire as a just in case. Thanks Salty. Where do you pick this stuff up. Pharmacy?


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Slippy laughed out loud!

"The TP over there was like wiping your ass with Crepe Paper!" 

Just Mike, I'm going to steal that one if I may!


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Slippy said:


> If there's one thing people say about me is; Damn, that Slippy got him a clean ass!
> 
> So bring on the reviews Salty, I'm one who is always looking for some ass cleaning tips and hints.


Well, I have always been told I am full of shit so I need all the help I can get I guess.


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

Being in AZ, I have to agree with RNprepper. Water is too precious.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

sideKahr said:


> The portable bidet thing is okay, but how do you dry your 'nether regions' post spray? TP just disintegrates when it gets wet, and your use of this precious material would increase dramatically.
> 
> I keep baby wipes. JMHO.


Skin dries VERY quickly, just air dry it. It literally takes just a matter of seconds to air dry.


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## keith9365 (Apr 23, 2014)

just mike said:


> Went to Europe as a young lad and the first hotel bathroom I went into I was like WTF is that. After a week or so I started using the bidet also--the TP over there was like wiping your ass with crepe paper, nothing like the charmin I was used to. Looking forward to the revues.


They have nothing on Japan. Warm water bidets and heated toilet seats!


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

RNprepper said:


> Hmmm.... what a choice. Use precious water (Arizona, here) or ....... let's see, what WOULD I use here? No big tree leaves to speak of, no moss, no corn cobs. All the trees and plants have thorns. I think I better just keep stocking up on TP. Or you can do what middle east people do - use a finger of the left hand. It only takes one square of TP to wipe the finger!


Honestly, if your goal is long term survival and you choose to live in a desert where water is limited (therefore, growing food is limited), ummm... you've got a lot bigger concerns than how you are going to wipe your butt.

There's a reason virtually nobody lived in Arizona in the pre-industrial age, and those that did were nomads.

If coming up with 12 ounces of non-potable water to bathe with is going to be a serious problem, well... ummm... y'all go ahead, I believe I will live somewhere that it won't be.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

I think they have the squat toilets in Asia. They supposedly have a little spray hose like on your sink. I would tell the desert dwellers to stock up on water.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

Prepared One said:


> Sounds like something I should acquire as a just in case. Thanks Salty. Where do you pick this stuff up. Pharmacy?


Amazon. I will post the links to them as I review them.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

If I run out of tp I have leaves, rags and books. Lots and lots of books. My grandpa used the almanac and the Sears catalog in the old outhouse. Some people used rags. A different color for each person.

Did you know that in ancient Rome they used a sponge on a stick. The sponges were communal too. In other words, there was one sponge on a stick soaking in a bucket of water, and latrine-users would take turns wiping themselves with it. That's nasty.

Here is a picture of some of the best leaves available for wiping booty.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Seriously though. I've never used a butt sprayer. It sounds better than poison ivy.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

Arklatex said:


> If I run out of tp I have leaves, rags and books. Lots and lots of books. My grandpa used the almanac and the Sears catalog in the old outhouse. Some people used rags. A different color for each person.
> 
> Did you know that in ancient Rome they used a sponge on a stick. The sponges were communal too. In other words, there was one sponge on a stick soaking in a bucket of water, and latrine-users would take turns wiping themselves with it. That's nasty.
> 
> ...


You are an evil man. Not as evil as Slippy, but you are evil nonetheless.


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## TacticalCanuck (Aug 5, 2014)

Just do the fanny in the air shake. Dry as the Mohave.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

You can use a dedicated towel after the bidet. Then again you could use a dedicated towel without the bidet........ Toilet paper and showers or baths work real well. Water is not a problem and won't be until the next Ice age. But then I would be moving south - either ahead of the ice or in it... ahead is preferable.


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## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

Salt-N-Pepper said:


> Skin dries VERY quickly, just air dry it. It literally takes just a matter of seconds to air dry.


I can see it now - just waving in the breeze to dry - IF it's not raining or snowing! What a target!


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

Maybe a good way to find a companion of the opposite gender? 

I think I will use a towel - nobody wants to see my white a$$ swinging in the breeze!


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## OctopusPrime (Dec 2, 2014)

aqua dump for me


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