# US-Canadian border problems



## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

The Manitoba Herald December 3, 2014 Late Edition

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols
to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and
the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among
left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray,
and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields
at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red
Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . "The producer was cold,
exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some
free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even
got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers
that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he
said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much
that they wouldn't give any milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive
them across the border where they are simply left to fend for
themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged
conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload
without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice
little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're
sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear
retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans
being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to
drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the
border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to
buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen
young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities
began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about
Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the
'50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael
Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the
Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How
many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada ,
Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that
the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close
to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and
Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered
species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he
said.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

That is why the Minnesota state motto is: "L'Etoile du nord". Roughly translated, it means: "Canada is that way you Goddamn hippie!"


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## dannydefense (Oct 9, 2013)

I may be south of the border at the moment, but screw you Inor, you keep your damn hippies right where they are and deal with them there. Canada's only importing conservatives at the moment until all the sh*t the NDP, Bloc Quebecois and the Liberals have screwed up is fixed. The NDP, let's see how one could best describe them... "bunch of f'ing idiots" comes to mind.


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## oddapple (Dec 9, 2013)

I have always wondered what 13 million Canadians are going to tell 60 million mexicans and 39 million arabs?
They will be rid of the libs on their way through. Who needs conservatives? Just let libs have what they voted for a couple weeks.....


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

What would happen if we posted signs along the Mexican border like this one?
View attachment 8616


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## MrsInor (Apr 15, 2013)

paraquack said:


> What would happen if we posted signs along the Mexican border like this one?
> View attachment 8616


In Spanish.


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Quebeckerpeckers aint normal.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

How's Buffalo doing these days? I might be crossing the border in a few days


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

TorontoGal said:


> How's Buffalo doing these days? I might be crossing the border in a few days


You are going to Buffalo soon?

Do yourself a favor. Eat a meal at the Anchor Bar. Of course you have to get the wings because that is where Buffalo wings were invented. But more important, get a Beef on Weck sammich! I know you do not like commercial meat. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make an exception this one time! You will not regret it. They serve it with horseradish sauce. Do not dip it into the horseradish. Slather every inch (centimeter for you) with as much horseradish as it will hold! Those are the most awesome sammiches available ANYWHERE, and they only exist in a small part of upstate NY.


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

Ok in Spanish.
View attachment 8637


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

Inor, I haven't eaten meat in a few months, I think I'll do exactly what you suggest, thanks! I love horseraddish  
My hubby decided to book a trip to Canadian side Niagara Falls water park for the kids, I get to escape for a few hours on my own.


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