# How cold is it?



## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

This morning on the way to the office just a little after sunrise I saw a flock of approximately 30 wild turkeys standing around an outdoor furnace. Guess it is so cold that they are willing to chance human encounters to stay warm.


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## survival (Sep 26, 2011)

This is what I saw on my doorstep yesterday in Kentucky. A female peacock. Wind chill is supposed to get to 20 below tonight.


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## rickkyw1720pf (Nov 17, 2012)

1. It's colder than a witch's tit.

2. It's colder than a well digger's ass.

3. It's colder than a golddigger's heart. 

4. It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassiere.

5. It's colder than a fart in a dead Eskimo.

6. It's colder than Saddam's current toilet seat.

7. It's colder than Ted William's head.

8. It's colder than a mother-in-law's kiss.

9. It's colder than Jack Frost's toes after he skates on an icy pond.

10. It's colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg.

11. It's colder than a penguin's pecker.

12. It's so cold the dogs are sticking to the fire hydrants.

13. It's colder than a polar bear's butt.

14. It's colder than a witch's belt buckle.

15. It's colder than Chris Cringle's jockstrap.

16. It's colder than a grave digger's shovel.

17. It's colder than a mortician's mistress.

18. It's colder than a day-old dumpling.

19. It's colder than skinny dipping in a snow storm.

20. It's colder than in a freezer Antarctica.

21. It's colder than the end of an Eskimo's tool.

22. It's colder than a room full of ex-wives.

23. It's colder than a bucket of snowman piss.

24. It is so cold even property taxes are frozen.

25. It is so cold my boogers are freezing together.

26. It is cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

27. It is so cold my cat climbs into the refrigerator just to warm up.

28. It is so cold Bill Clinton is sleeping with his own wife.

29. It is so cold snowmen are migrating south.

30. It is so cold I could cut glass with my nipples.

31. It is so cold it feels like I'm breathing liquid oxygen.

32. It is so cold my campfire froze.

33. It is so cold even the dog wanted a cup of coffee.

34. It is so cold my eyelids froze shut.

35. It is so cold hookers were giving free blow jobs just to get something warm in their stomachs.

36. It is so cold I'm using an icetray as a heating pad.

37. It is so cold my sweaters need sweaters.

38. It is so cold even global warming tree-huggers are wearing hats and mittens.

39. It is so cold the polar bears are shivering.

40. It is so cold you can toss a cup of hot water in the air and hear it shatter into ice crystals.

41. It is so cold I had to turn off the air conditioner.

42. It is so cold my teeth froze together.

43. It is so cold when I pee outside you can see the Golden Arches.

44. It is so cold my heartburn is cured.

45. It is so cold the "shrinkage" gave me a man-gina.

46. It is so cold my butt cheeks have stuck together.

47. It is so cold Monica Lewinsky has just been blowing on her hands.

48. It is so cold in New York the hookers in Times Square are giving out flannel condoms.

49. It is so cold people are huddling around Jennifer Lopez, because they heard she was packing heat.

50. It is so cold that even the squirrels had thermal underwear.

51. It was so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs.

52. It was so cold the eye doctor was giving away free ice scrapers with every purchase of a new pair of eyeglasses.

53. It was so cold squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at electric fences.

54. It was so cold Grandpa's teeth were chattering . . . in the glass!

55. It was so cold teenagers stopped worrying about acne. The new problem . . . goosepimples.

56. It was so cold I chipped a tooth on my soup.

57. It was so cold when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

58. It was so cold UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii.

59. It was so cold down at the city morgue, you couldn't tell the stiffs from the guys who worked there.

60. It was so cold we had to kick a hole in the air just to get outside.

61. It was so cold my moustache shattered when I laughed.

62. It was so cold tea cozies were being used for things that tea cozies should never be used for.

63. It was so cold we had to salt the hallway.

64. It was so cold when I turned on the shower - I got hail.

65. It was so cold the mice were playing hockey in the toilet bowl.

66. It was so cold we had an ice-fishing shack in the bathtub.

67. It was so cold we had lunch down at the "Greasy Spoon" - just for the heartburn.

68. It was so cold our aquarium didn't need any glass. The downside? The fish were motionless.

69. It was so cold worms were sticking out of the ground like sticks.

70. It was so cold when Dad tried to sneak upstairs to bed, the crunching sound under his feet would wake us up.

71. It was so cold my shadow froze to the ground, and when I took a step it snapped right off.

72. It was so cold the politicians stopped blowing hot air.

73. It was so cold if you made an ugly face, it really did stay that way.

74. It was so cold sitting on that smoldering compost heap wasn't all that bad.

75. It was so cold the winner of the ice sculpture contest was disqualified when it was discovered he WAS the sculpture.

76. It was so cold we thought Grandpa had grown a beard, but it turned out to be just an icicle of frozen drool.

77. It was so cold kids were telling the most outrageous lies just hoping their pants would catch on fire.

78. It was so cold we couldn't go outside for weeks at a time, and we were hoping that cabin fever would raise our body temperature.

79. It was so cold Scotsmen started wearing pants.

80. It was so cold that when I tried to take the garbage out, it didn't want to go.

81. It was so cold my car wouldn't run and my nose wouldn't stop.

82. It was so cold the flame froze on the candle, so I threw it outside. When it thawed out in the spring, it started a forest fire.

83. It was so cold you could tell how much someone had been crying by the length of the icicles on their cheeks.

84. It was so cold firemen couldn't convince people to get out of their houses when they caught fire.

85. It is cold enough to freeze the balls off of a pool table.

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## TacticalCanuck (Aug 5, 2014)

It's so cold I could use my nipples to cut glass.


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

No I see why so many of your countrymen come down to Arizona in the winter.


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## slewfoot (Nov 6, 2013)

You need these shots. If nothing else it will numb the cold.


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## Doc Holliday (Dec 22, 2012)

ummm, mid 70's today


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## survival (Sep 26, 2011)

Doc Holliday said:


> ummm, mid 70's today


Show-off!


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

Its so cold my coffee froze before i could drink it.


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## Doc Holliday (Dec 22, 2012)

LOL, well I do want to move out of this state to one that has colder temps (and rain!!)


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## TacticalCanuck (Aug 5, 2014)

How does one like the 'blurb' or signature of another - want to give Doc's a nod!


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## HuntingHawk (Dec 16, 2012)

Wind chill is suppose to get to 13F here in the morning. That will be the coldest its been in several years.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Our weather has been crazy. 3 days ago it was 73 yesterday it was 30 today it's in the 50s. Texas weather... haven't seen snow in 3 or 4 years.


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## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

A few months ago I headed to the mountains to do some fishing. When I walked out in the morning (wearing shorts mind you) it was 29 degrees. My chaw cup in the car was frozen. That's pretty cold for me. Today, however, it is 76 degrees. Think I'll go surfing after work today. Keep warm friends!


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## TacticalCanuck (Aug 5, 2014)

Squatch you braggart! 

The best thing about this time of year, is well, maple syrup. I'd brave a dozen winters to have some fresh Canadian Maple syrup right from the farm. It's a yearly tradition to go the maple farm and have some fresh pancakes, syrups, sausages, bacon and all that good stuff, and come home with a few liters too. Go for a horse drawn sled ride through the bush, wonderful way to spend a day. Maple candy is as organic as it gets. 

Now my sweet tooth is aching....


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

Predicting-15F tonight. Lower with wind chill.


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## Frostbite (Jan 28, 2015)

Got me beat!

Minus 14 here.......wind chills will be much lower.

:armata_PDT_23:

(Actually, we're used to it.)

:armata_PDT_12:


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

Negative 3 degrees with a windchill of minus 11 in Nashville and my humble neck of the Highland Rim tonight. Pipes are buttoned up, kerosene, natural gas and central heat all on deck.


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## kevincali (Nov 15, 2012)

Here's somewhere a couple hours from me.








And here's inside my house. No heater on. 








Yeah it's friggin cold over here. Yikes. Might need a light long sleeve 

I really feel for you guys in frigid cold. Please stay warm guys and gals. Bundle up if you have to.


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## Doc Holliday (Dec 22, 2012)

Dang it! It just hit 63 degrees and I had to close the door as it was getting a little chilly..... 



TacticalCanuck said:


> How does one like the 'blurb' or signature of another - want to give Doc's a nod!


Thats the Concealed Carry Prayer


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Today it was - 23 F that is 23 below not wind chill flat out -23. No madder where you are that is cold. The Track pulled apart in three place just on my area . Not to mention the dozen other problems it caused and backed trains up all over. It was not a fun day. I was always told electronics like cold. Tell that to the signal department.


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## 8301 (Nov 29, 2014)

Colder than a witch's titty in a brass bra. Just had to go find my wandering mutt and my nose is frozen.


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## Moonshinedave (Mar 28, 2013)

It's so cold I seen a democrat with his hands in his own pockets. (Ok, I know I've used it couple times on here already, but I love it so much, I could not resist.)


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## Dubyagee (Nov 9, 2012)

19 here.


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## Boss Dog (Feb 8, 2013)

11 this morning, I think they said a 100 year record. It's COLD!


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

40 here this am.


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## TacticalCanuck (Aug 5, 2014)

Minus 25 before wind chill today. My nipples got to work 5 minutes before I did.


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## IprepUprep (Jan 2, 2015)

Negative 14 when I woke up. I shut off the water main before It dipped too too low last night. I didn't feel like doing any potential plumbing repairs. Today is the day you throw boiling hot water into the outside air, and watch it turn to ice in an instant. -- I will be driving 2+ hours north for work today - Its warmer up there.


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Eff this shat!! lol


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

Ha! Your in the warm end of the state Mish.


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## Big Country1 (Feb 10, 2014)

Good lord, i got up this morning and the thermometer said 27 dergrees... And i thought this was Florida! Thats just too dam cold for me, there was ice all over the truck, and i have no heater in there. Always said its florida, so who the hell needs one. I pour,d water on the winsheild to thaw it off some, and it froze over before i could flip the wipers on.... Screw this!


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

65 degrees and overcast this morning. Supposed to get some sleet on Monday. Folks up north, stay warm and safe.


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## Dubyagee (Nov 9, 2012)

Now 74.


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

Yesterday was more hot tubing. It is starting to seem tropical.


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

-16 Fahrenheit and dropping like a rock as the sun comes up .


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