# I got stabbed! Well, it had to happen...



## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Yes, I like automatic knives. Yes, I have over two dozen of them. Yes, I have ample blade training adjoining more than 30 years. But it had to happen.

My wife is left-handed, and out of compassion I bought her a left-handed switchblade. Top shelf, a leftie Boker Automat Kalashnikov 74. Green handle, copper plated blade.

She hated it.

So, I decided that until some left-handed scoundrel darkened my doorway with far too much money, I would carry the knife myself. I slid it into my left hand jeans pocket, because, duh, I'm right-handed.

Oh, I know what you're thinking. You're saying to yourself, "_Yikes, that incredibly handsome blade guy flexed that muscular thigh of his and popped open a surgically sharp knife_!"

And yes, that is what happened. Now, I do "thighs" twice per week, the blade was "touchy," and yes, I did not notice the knife opened.

...it became clear to me when I but my thumb on a polished edge...


----------



## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Federal warning stickers should be required left or right hand use only this end forward. Along with safety switch that requires knife be in correct hand before it will up lock.


----------



## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

Several years ago, a buddy and I decided to do a surf dive. Being February, the water was cold and choppy. On top of that, I was using a dopey, inflatable dive flag that gave me fits the whole time. At the end of the lousy attempt at a dive, I pulled my dive knife in a fit of rage and went to stab the inflatable piece of crap. My hand was so cold that I didn't have a firm grip on the handle and sliced my left forefinger open. There was a crimson trail from the shore to the car, where we went to a CVS pharmacy to buy better first aid stuff. When I got to the counter, the clerk looked at the dripping bandage on the finger to which I said, "Paper cuts. Hell, aren't they?"

Stuff happens.


----------



## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

I stabbed a guy at work once.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Sasquatch said:


> I stabbed a guy at work once.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


YEAH, and IM PRESSING CHARGES..


----------



## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Sasquatch said:


> I stabbed a guy at work once.


Never crossed my mind. I like knives and I would never use one unless it was in the "gravest extreme." Like if Loni Anderson needed me to pull up one of her nylons she could not reach...

Now, pistols--dime a dozen. I own them because I need proper defensive tools. I do not love them, even the Tussey ones. Their job is to save my wife, my dog, and myself.


----------



## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

This the left-handed bastid that bit me!

View attachment 100775


----------



## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

Should probably keep you away from kitchen utensils.


----------



## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

1skrewsloose said:


> Should probably keep you away from kitchen utensils.


I sharpen razor-like defensive blades by the dozen and never get even a paper cut.

If I'm helping dry the dishes and my wife hands me a soapy fork, that's the rascal that opens a vein...


----------



## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

I was joking my friend!


----------



## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Ok..I have a knife story. A pal and I were deer hunting in S. Texas a few decades ago. We both had .30 30 Cowboy guns. We got separted but I heard him shooting...like a semi auoto. I walk over and he had stumbled over a herd of Javelinos and shot till the gun ran dry. Think there were five on gound. He picked out two which he thought were girls and we both realized we had forgot to bring a knife. So he gutted out both of those filthy creaturs with a pair of fingernail clippers. I got some of the meat. It was highly stinky. I bet the boy Javeelinos stink even worse.


----------



## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

1skrewsloose said:


> I was joking my friend!


Oh, I know. It's a friendly forum.

The joke is that I am indeed a knife salesman who just poked himself with a "sample." It's akin to finding out that Chuck Yeager cannot parallel park.


----------

