# Sandy Hook the Result of Poor Parenting?



## bigdogbuc (Mar 23, 2012)

As we approach the one year mark for the terrible tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary, reports are surfacing and many questions still go unanswered. I read the article that I have posted here and several flags went up. Primarily being "*WHERE IN THE **** WAS THE PARENTING WITH THIS PSYCHO*?"

As you'll see just in this short article, he wrote a book in the 5th grade detailing the slaughter of children and shooting a mother in the head. Sound familiar? Where were his parents and why didn't they, or others, say "This could be a problem"?

He was obsessed with violence, violent video games, mass killings, kept articles and charts, spreadsheets ranking mass killings; And his family didn't go "This could be a problem?"

As far as I'm concerned, his mother got just what she deserved for her inept ability to parent, at all, and the family, especially his father, are just as responsible for the senseless deaths of those children as he is for pulling the trigger. How many ****ing warning signs that blatantly *SCREAM* in your face, that this sick **** was going to do this do you need?

Wow. Just wow.

Prosecutors: Conn. gunman's motive still unknown | US National Headlines | Comcast


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## Fuzzee (Nov 20, 2012)

Yeah. She didn't do what needed to be done. If you know the child has violent tendencies and bad mental and anger issues, you certainly don't leave guns where the child can get to them either. That's why there are big gun safes in part.


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## MikeyPrepper (Nov 29, 2012)

Very interesting


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

I can't help but feel that the parents were in complete denial. Just like most people who have children with problems. "My son is a good boy. He'd never do anything like that."
On thing I read and have to assume to be true is that Lanza tried to purchase a firearm and was refused because of his mental issues. But why weren't the proper authorities told of his attempt to purchase a firearm. I've read that the shrink, treating Holmes the shooter in Aurora, CO, warned the police of Holmes' probable violence, but nothing was done about. I don't have any answers, except to say that people need to wake up and smell the coffee. Sometimes I can see why the conspiracy enthusiasts think the government is allowing these nut cases to go off the deep end to justify more and more gun control. Safety for all was the reason Hitler gave for firearm registration and then seizure.


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## bigdogbuc (Mar 23, 2012)

And the most interesting part of all of this was "weeks prior to the incident", the mom all of the sudden became concerned with his behavior? Really? So the years of psychotic episodes and obsession with mass killings and school shootings weren't an indicator something might be wrong? 

I deal with parents in denial all the time. They suffer from "Not my Baby" syndrome. But holy shit. Not seeing this is like not seeing your hand glued to your face in broad daylight with 20/20 vision. No excuse.


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## scramble4a5 (Nov 1, 2012)

7 months ago my son was in a very dark place. He was 20 years old but still lives with us. I am fortunate to have the best health care coverage available. When his issues manifested themselves to a point where we couldn't just say it was immaturity or a by-product of his juvenile diabetes, my wife and I got him tested and treated. His medication and therapy have helped tremendously, but he will never be "perfect". This is so painful for a family to have to face because who among us wants this to happen to one of their own kids? The only thing I would offer is sometimes, it takes some time for the illness to progress to such a state that it does not appear to be just part of growing up if that makes sense. 

Could this young man's parents have done better? Probably, but I wasn't there so I won't judge. I can only offer this: Having to admit, face head on, and seek help for a son with psychological issues is one of the most gut wrenching things I have ever had to do. But I am glad we did it.


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## bigdogbuc (Mar 23, 2012)

scramble4a5 said:


> 7 months ago my son was in a very dark place. He was 20 years old but still lives with us. I am fortunate to have the best health care coverage available. When his issues manifested themselves to a point where we couldn't just say it was immaturity or a by-product of his juvenile diabetes, my wife and I got him tested and treated. His medication and therapy have helped tremendously, but he will never be "perfect". This is so painful for a family to have to face because who among us wants this to happen to one of their own kids? The only thing I would offer is sometimes, it takes some time for the illness to progress to such a state that it does not appear to be just part of growing up if that makes sense.
> 
> Could this young man's parents have done better? Probably, but I wasn't there so I won't judge. I can only offer this: Having to admit, face head on, and seek help for a son with psychological issues is one of the most gut wrenching things I have ever had to do. But I am glad we did it.


We are glad that you did as well, and I hope that he will appreciate your efforts too.

But you mentioned 7 months.

Everyone associated with Adam Lanza knew for at least 10 years. 10 years. If I started now, I could have a firm grasp on and probably be considered an expert in the Theory of Relativity. I could be a medical doctor in 10 years. The things I can accomplish in 10 years is amazing.

When a kid writes a "book" about slaughtering school children and a mother being shot in the head, I'm sorry, but that's not right and any reasonable person would say "RED FLAG". I would also be aware of future behavior that would indicate a possible problem. Such as an obsession with the Columbine Massacre. Mass Killings in general. Rating mass killings in order of "who had the most violence and highest body count". You know, shit like that. Shit that as a parent where you say "Sorry junior, but it's time for you to find a new hobby. The obsession with your current one isn't healthy, and we're going to talk to the doctor."

Shit that clearly says "Hey everyone, look at this ****ed up creepy shit I'm into. And just so you know, when I grow up, I'm probably, no, I'm going to, wipe out a class of Kindergartners. But hey, I warned you."

You parented. They clearly ignored. The bitch regularly took crazy boy shooting and was going to buy him a gun for Christmas. Seriously? She was just as nuts.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

I can't blame the gun, I can't blame the parents, I can't blame his counselor so I have to place the responsibility on the one who took the actions.

As a shooter I know that the guns are just tools that do what they do because of a person holding it.

As a parent I know that children do not always learn the lesson taught. They take it through their own filtering mechanisms and learn a lesson not always similar to the one being taught.

His mother was active in his life and his father was too - as much as possible for an "absentee dad". 

I can't blame the counselor because he is not God and cannot see into the soul of a patient to know what they will do.

If the shooter possessed the knowledge of the difference between right and wrong then it is his fault. If he did not then it is a human tragedy all the way around.

I can only know that the Creator will deal with it justly. If there is a lesson to be learned we should find that lesson and learn from it. I can't forgive the act but I can forgive the person. That is a matter of choice and as a human who has made a few errors in his life I can forgive him as I forgive me.


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## ekim (Dec 28, 2012)

I've got a family member that I don't trust, even called the police on him, but I tried to help him many times, got him several good jobs even. After his last stunt that ended with someone dying he knows to never darken me doorway again. He is sick now and needs help(blood transplant/bone marrow). He has called everyone but me, I guess he will die first if he waits for me to help him again! You can only do so much and that is the major flaw of many females, they have to much heart and not enough common sense sometimes. Just wait though, nobama care may take care of many of those that will need mental health care soon enough. We can also blame the mental health care doctors for not doing the right thing either. This mental health issue is still treated as a feel good situation and sometimes an illness can not be treated like we would want.


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## freynolds (Nov 23, 2013)

I have been saying for awhile now that gun control doesn't start with bans but with education and health care.


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## ekim (Dec 28, 2012)

freynolds said:


> I have been saying for awhile now that gun control doesn't start with bans but with education and health care.


nobama will take care of the gun problem with his nobamacare, there will be gun control in there. But then if you commit a crime and you don't get health care that could work too!


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

I was never too tired to interact with my kids. I looked over what they were doing for homework, we did things as a family, I was involved in their schools, went to the PTSA meetings and expected them to do as well as they could in each class they had. I never did their homework for them although I did have them re-write it a few times because of sloppiness or poor penmanship. My kids are just as involved in their kids as I was. As for discipline there is no law that keeps you from properly disciplining your child. I used a paddle that was about a foot long and four inches wide and made from 3/16" Lexan. It made a lot of noise when it hit their behind but never injured them. It was used only when they defied My authority and never when I was angry. I explained what they did wrong and what the punishment was and made sure they knew that when it was over I still loved them and wanted to be with them. Each child is different and requires a different approach but they need a firm and constant line between what is acceptable and what is not. That provides security for them. They also need to know that they are loved - no matter what happens - that love has to be available. That unconditional love requires that they take the consequences for what they do - right and wrong.

Both my kids have and are raising their children on that same premise and I can say without prejudice that they have and are turning out great adults with the maturity and empathy that comes from a caring and loving home. Nobody is perfect but they are as close as humans come to it.


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## PrepConsultant (Aug 28, 2012)

Parents are in denial. That is for sure. I used to date an elementary teacher and the PARENTS were a big part of the problem! It was always 'It can't my Johnny's fault!". There was even one time where a black lady said that her son didn't have enough black children to play with. That is why he was violent and was stealing things!!

When it comes to most of the "trouble makers of schools I want to tell the parents NO ASSHOLE!! Your kid is crazy and is a worthless piece of shit!! He/she wants to cause harm to others. He should have a bullet placed behind his ear and we should ****ing move on!! If you want to be by his side, I'm sure we can find another bullet!!

Our problem is we are afraid of OFFENDING people!! Screw that!! When it comes to safety, screw offending others and political correctness. These mass killers aren't right in the head. Would we rather offend them or deal with 20 or more deaths? John Noveske posted something on Facebook about crazy bastards and meds. He was killed in a single car accident a day or so later. I am proud to say, I have a few of his rifles and most of my weapons carry his barrels.. Here is his link.. Tell me what you think.. Gun News - Rifle Manufacturer John Noveske Mysteriously Killed Shortly After Posting Controversial Article | Texas GOP Vote


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## PalmettoTree (Jun 8, 2013)

It is my understanding the parents were separated/divorced because they could not agree on handling their mentally ill child. I think he got the other child/children. This tells me he did what he could legally. I think the mother purchased the gun and took him to a range. The fact that she did not put a trigger lock on it demonstrates that she took neither his illness nor the gun seriously.


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## Verteidiger (Nov 16, 2012)

Here is what I think set Adam Lanza off - his mother was about to have his crazy a$$ involuntarily committed to a mental institution:

Reports: Lanza may have been angry about mother's plans


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