# Remaining calm when attacked



## UNO (Oct 18, 2014)

Kahlan's thread got me thinking about something that's been on my mind for quite a while...

How do you remain calm? When you're attacked and you fear for your safety, how do you remember that knife in your pocket or gun on your side?

I was attacked about 2.5 years ago by someone that I knew. He had me by my neck against a wall. The proceeded to move me to shove me backward toward a countertop with my neck as the point of contact between him and me. 

Only after the incident was over did I remember the knife that I always keep in my pocket. I've been carrying knives fairly regularly since 2006. So I knew it was there but with everything happening so quickly, I forgot I had it. 

When someone approaches in a hostile manner, there's time to quickly think and weigh your options. But when someone physically attacks suddenly, you have nothing but your instincts. How do you change/train your instincts?


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## thepeartree (Aug 25, 2014)

Sounds like you were in shock. The attack was unexpected, I'd guess. You didn't have time to react because you had no combat training of any kind. That's how you change the equation- get training so that you react without having to think it over first.


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## bigdogbuc (Mar 23, 2012)

Run scenarios through your head; If this happened, what would I do? If that happened, how would I respond? When someone comes over, or you go to the store, take a brief second and ask yourself "What would I do if this person attacked me right now?" I do it, and I almost instinctively stick my thumb in my pocket and get an orientation on where my knife is so if I had to go to it, I could. It reminds me that it's there and there is a reason for it. Self defense. 

Think SIPDE; Scan Identify Predict Decide Execute...Scan your area, Identify potential threats, Predict what actions they may take, Decide how you will counter those actions (walk away, run, fight etc.) and, should it happen, Execute your decision and defend yourself whether it be fight or flight. 

In my state, grabbing someone by the throat, choking or attempting to deprive someone of oxygen by asphyxiation is a Felony Assault and would warrant use of deadly force. In other words, gut that pig...

But I would learn where to make cuts, where to stab, when to twist the blade etc. A defensive knife is to incapacitate the attacker by cutting major muscles, tendons, nerves, even arteries, so the appendages stop working making it impossible to continue the attack. If they happen to bleed out and die, well, that's their fault.


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## Dalarast (May 16, 2014)

Besides throwing yourself in that situation on a daily basis to prepare yourself the only way to practically "prepare" your mind and body is training. 

Muscle memory - Martial arts, self defense, or just "playing" around goes along way to help your body learn the proper moves of self-defense so if attacked it reacts almost naturally. Bigdog hits on the SIPDE which is something good to go by; but when proper training you can hit on Identify, Predict, and Decide better than someone without any training.


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## Wise Prepper (Oct 2, 2014)

The only way to remain calm is to expect. I expect and analyze at all times. I dont care who i'm around. That is the only way....


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## tks (Oct 22, 2014)

My husband tells me I'm freakishly calm when stuff happens. I've been attacked a few times at bars I worked at in between political gigs, it just goes with the bar territory, even the nice ones have a few incidents a year. Being the only calm and assertive one in a middle of a drunkin mess is the only way to take control. On and off for years I've taken krav maga classes, I think they have given me the mental and physical skills I've needed over the years to be on my toes and calm.


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## Kahlan (Sep 16, 2014)

First off Uno I am so sorry that happened to you. The fear of freezing up or panicking is very real to me. Reading all these threads has only made me more determined to get some professional training of some sort.


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## Smokin04 (Jan 29, 2014)

thepeartree said:


> Sounds like you were in shock. The attack was unexpected, I'd guess. You didn't have time to react because you had no combat training of any kind. That's how you change the equation- get training so that you react without having to think it over first.


This...totally.

It's about training. More you have, less you panic.


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## Zed (Aug 14, 2014)

I totally agree with Dalarast and Smokin04.. Its all about training and muscle memory.
You froze at that time..IT can even happen now, if you haven't trained to take knife or gun out at slightest aggression.


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## oddapple (Dec 9, 2013)

It is hard to focus on them and forget the rest but after you have practiced it - you have a better chance of "remembering" being that when it's really scary and counts? 
The last time I got it was pitch black on top of a mountain 12 miles from town?
Luckily, when it "shocked" me he was gonna kill me? My "squirrel in a shoe box" freak out was enough but I took damage I should not have being busy "amazed".
I'm determined it must not be like that again.


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

Muscle memory...lol.. I love when you folks joke...


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

Your first option in a physical altercation is defense, not offense.
You didn't expect this attack, and thus were not armed and ready for it.
You were already caught off guard.
Training should consist of what to do *before* you can reach your weapon, as well as what to do after it.

Breaking the hold should have been your first priority, not reaching for your knife. Don't stress over the fact that you forgot it.
When physically attacked, create space quickly. This gives you that extra second to remember your weapon.
Holds and body manipulation can give you a massive advantage in close quarters attacks.
Unless you see or expect a weapon, just try to create space.
A grab to the throat leaves your attacker hugely vulnerable to kicks, knee strikes, and other lower body attacks.
Don't fret about the weapon, concentrate on breaking the hold and taking control.


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## adian (Oct 28, 2014)

In my experience, and as the Marines taught me, have a plan to take out anyone you meet. But really you have to train with a stressor. Training is one thing, but you have to also train with a stressor. Upon first strike your body says get in or get away. They would put us in a ring and we would get attacked and you had to react. This goes with firearms training as well, you need to learn to shoot under stress. You have to learn how to think through the chemical release in your body that would make you close down.


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## keith9365 (Apr 23, 2014)

Sounds like a guy who was using size to intimidate? Knees to the groin, inner thigh (femoral nerve) and outer thigh (common peronial nerve) can cause him to break his hold. Then you have to hurt him so you can get away. I mean hurt him so he wont want any more.


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## oddapple (Dec 9, 2013)

What is "muscle memory"? I don't think that is meant to be an accurate definition? 
In any case, hopefully your "dang you" memory kicks in quickly and proves a lot more useful.


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## adian (Oct 28, 2014)

Muscle memory is something that has been done so often you can repeat it instinctually


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## r4fthrs (Oct 28, 2014)

Armed or unarmed self defense requires training and continual practice. You don't train until you can do it right, you train until you never do it wrong (and then you train more). It takes 100+ times doing it continuously correct to build the proper automatic response. The side effect of this training is that you will build focus, confidence and the ability to react quickly and effectively, it is also a good stress reliever. Be sure you get training from a reputable instructor and not one of the many fly by night self defense `experts' who claim to make you an instrument of death in only 10 days. It takes a minimum of 5-7 years with a highly motivated student to become a (competent) black belt. The belt doesn't mean squat, it's what you know and can do that is important, so find someone who will make you work for it. I started each of my kids in martial arts when they were 10, my wife and I had been doing it for years and it was a good family activity. The only problem is that now my kids might be able to take me


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## dwight55 (Nov 9, 2012)

I'm not sure who determined one should remain calm under attack, . . . but I think he is full of it, . . . and that is simply the single worst thing one can do.

Get mad, get bad, get mean, get hot, get hostile, and if possible get out, . . . 

Remaining calm and serene is what Mitt Romney did in 2012, . . . what John Boy did in 2008, . . . and you see what it got them messing with a thug.

You will have plenty of time to be calm when you drop to ground temperature, . . . till then, . . . 98.6 + whatever it takes.

Bite, kick, gouge, spit, puke, slobber, pinch, . . . cough up a lunger and blow it in their face, . . . 

The baddest survive, . . . not so bad usually runs 2nd place, . . . so does calm.

May God bless,
Dwight


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

I have a feeling he intended to describe the disarray in thinking when put under immediate stress.
"Calm" is more about keeping your head in the game and not shutting down.


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## r4fthrs (Oct 28, 2014)

You need to be committed and focused, but when you lose your temper you also lose control (a lesson I learned the hard way). There is plenty of time to be emotional afterwards.


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## Smokin04 (Jan 29, 2014)

Fighting (to some) is the same as being in combat. If you panic...if you get mad and use that to guide your actions...it is HIGHLY likely that you will make a bad tactical decision and not survive.


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## Slack Jaw Yokel (Oct 20, 2014)

I agree with others that this is about training but with a stressor in place. You can train until the cows come home but everything changes the first time you get punched in the face. I have been training for many years but let me tell you that perfect technique goes out the window when you are confused, in pain, immobile or anything else that you can think of. When something really bad goes down it is about survival and it is all about space. If you look at most fights ( I use this term very loosely) they are in very tight quarters. With or without weapons it does not matter if you can create space it will help you more times than not. Space allows you to think and remain calm instead of just reacting.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

This is just my thing


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## sparkyprep (Jul 5, 2013)

I know that it has already been said, but I need to say it again. TRAINING is the very best way to avoid "locking up". The "fight or flight" instinct is a biological, chemical, certain reaction to life or death stress. The chemical reaction in your central nervous system is definable, measurable, and has been well studied. Combat, and self-defense training takes this study of the "fight or flight" reaction into account, and trains you to act despite it. It is not a matter of being a "wuss", it is a matter of being a living human being. You can not help the surge of adrenalin, the blurred vision, or any of the other biological factors. Training is specifically designed by very intelligent people to overcome these natural reactions, and allow you to ACT in the face of danger.


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

The more you train the easier it is to react. Same for medical emergencies, fighting fires, and so on. Your mind immediately reverts to training you received so chose wisely.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Have I ever mentioned I was attacked by a Camel, and I remained calm


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

Jeep said:


> Have I ever mentioned I was attacked by a Camel, and I remained calm


This should be interesting.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Well we were training in UAE, during Desert Shield. We were nere an abandoned homestead out in the middle of nowhere. There were wild Camels close by. My platoon Sergeant handed me hid disposable camera and said get over there and get me some photos. Well I crossed the too close for comfort line for the male. He chased me into the run down home and everytime I tried to go out a door or window he came around. I threw my MRE crackers out and when he got them he didn't pay me anymore attention. But he almost got me.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

There s a time for calm and there is a time to go Mel Gibson nuts on them. 
Speed Surprise and Violence action worked well for me


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## thepeartree (Aug 25, 2014)

I'm sure that Mel never meant his movie to provide any deep life lesson, but he's far from the only one. As Mr. Miagi said "You do or no do. You sort of do...(sound of squish)". In the absence of full and proper training, attack like a mad dog. At the most, the opponent may be so surprised that his training goes out the window. At the least, you will die like a man, not a mouse.


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## CWOLDOJAX (Sep 5, 2013)

And oh-by-the-way there are no rules in fighting. Yes train. Yes rehearse. Yes practice situational awareness . If avoidance does not work. Then fight like your life depends on it... Get ugly early. Don't do that calmly. You can calm down later.


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## NOMISS (Aug 31, 2014)

+1, As an instructor in Unarmed Combat i tell students to remain calm on the outside until force is required, then when it is required - explode with extreme ferocity. Like a Claymore.


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

Maine-Marine said:


> Muscle memory...lol.. I love when you folks joke...


I'm trying to figure out where my muscle went?


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Kahlan said:


> First off Uno I am so sorry that happened to you. The fear of freezing up or panicking is very real to me. Reading all these threads has only made me more determined to get some professional training of some sort.


Practice is key as well as being mentally ready. My bother and I have been involved in martial arts since we were kids. Repitition and being mentally prepared is key. Also, I stress being aware. Know whats going on around you at all times. I am always amazed everytime I go shopping and see more then a few people walking through the lot, head down, keys and phone in hand, not paying attention to where they are or where anyone else is. (I see a lot of women do this but some men as well.) If I am a man of ill intent that person would be my target. Be aware, walk with purpose, head up, eyes scanning. Look at people and vehicles. Make eye contact but don't stare them down.( Remember, the bad guy will usually pick the easiest target. If he knows you are paying attention he will look for easier ground.) Make a mental note of your weapon be it a pistol or knife. Consider tactical training. You won't be G.I. Joe but it will teach you different threats and how to handle them. And while not always in every case, not being a target to begin with will go a long way in keeping you out of harms way.


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## Diver (Nov 22, 2014)

Even a small amount of training would be helpful so you don't freeze but start to do something. The other thing you can do, depending on where you live, is get a CCL and arm yourself.


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## Moonshinedave (Mar 28, 2013)

There is nothing like the element of surprise. From reading your post, I take it you had no idea you was about to be attacked? I would venture to say very few of us would have done much better, whether we would admit it or not.
Training like already mentioned many times is the best option. Sorry this had happened to you, glad you made it out ok.


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## MI.oldguy (Apr 18, 2013)

Situational awareness and reading people is is one of the things I do.like,when someones eyes change,brows wrinkle,they take a stance like folding their arms,balling a fist at their side, etc.if you can sense when they want to make the move,you may be able to side step or counter the move.it does take timing and practice though.also, distance is your friend.
I also have determined anybody who attacks me is going down hard with any weapon I have or can use.board,knife,can of food.whatever I can reach and strike with.
a fight is a dirty thing so,do not try and fight a clean fight.you have to get down and dirty and get mad,berserker mad.


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## DerBiermeister (Aug 15, 2014)

Prepared One said:


> Practice is key as well as being mentally ready. My bother and I have been involved in martial arts since we were kids. Repitition and being mentally prepared is key. Also, I stress being aware. Know whats going on around you at all times. I am always amazed everytime I go shopping and see more then a few people walking through the lot, head down, keys and phone in hand, not paying attention to where they are or where anyone else is. (I see a lot of women do this but some men as well.) If I am a man of ill intent that person would be my target. Be aware, walk with purpose, head up, eyes scanning. Look at people and vehicles. Make eye contact but don't stare them down.( Remember, the bad guy will usually pick the easiest target. If he knows you are paying attention he will look for easier ground.) Make a mental note of your weapon be it a pistol or knife. Consider tactical training. You won't be G.I. Joe but it will teach you different threats and how to handle them. And while not always in every case, not being a target to begin with will go a long way in keeping you out of harms way.


EXACTLY RIGHT!
This is the approach I trained myself to do several years ago when I first made the decision to carry. Ever since then, when I am out in public with my weapon, I

1. Never forget I have that weapon and that the safety is OFF.
2. I am constantly scanning for trouble AND quickly running though my mind what my tactics will be, in the immediate surroundings, if trouble arrives. For instance, whenever I leave a store to go to the parking lot, I scan left, scan right, scan left, and right once more before I begin moving to the parking lot. There are always people milling around, and I make a quick assessment as to whether they are doing normal stuff ... or might there be something out of place.


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## Jakthesoldier (Feb 1, 2015)

This is how I remain calm in combat. It works for me also on the street. 
1. Practice combat. Train at the gym, with friends, as much as possible. The more you practice, the more natural your reactions become. Its just like reaching for your wallet when you need to pay for something. Second nature. Practice in your mind. General Mattis said "Be polite. Be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet." This has an added benefit of desensitization. The mind eventually comes to the realization that ANYONE at ANYTIME can become an enemy. God I hope I never have to, but I'd kill my own mother without a second's hesitation if I HAD to.

2. That leads to my second point. Warrior mentality. When it comes to that kind of situation you must be able to shut off your emotions temporarily, and go back to them later. If you are in a situation that could become life and death, or already is, emotions shut you down. You must maintain a clear head. Treat a fight like cooking a meal, or brushing your teeth, or pooping, or going to the dentist. It has to be done. Do it, get it over with, and then deal with the emotions afterward. Fearing a thing only gives that thing power over you. If something is going to happen there is nothing you can do about it. Prepare yourself beforehand so that you are ready to respond, but don't waste effort worrying until it actually happens. 

3. The last thing I can leave you with is this. In life, everything is 50% chance. Period. It is going to happen or it wont. You will wake up today, or you wont. You will get shot, or you wont. You will live, or you will die. In the end the only way to live life is "expect the best, prepare for the worst." So have a plan. Know your plan. Pray you never have to use your plan. Live life to the fullest.


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## UNO (Oct 18, 2014)

I know this thread is almost a year old but I posted it and never came back to respond. I apologize for that. 

To be perfectly honest, I was embarrassed. I let myself be overpowered and although I did have the tools to protect myself, I didn't utilize them and I panicked. It's embarrassing to me because I shared my story to strangers and I've only ever shared it with a select few who I consider close friends. 

I truly appreciate all of the responses and concern, more than I could ever really say. 

A little additional info, that person went to prison about a year after the incident. He was released and is again facing time because lessons are hard. He doesn't know where I live anymore but even still, the fear remains. I've been reinforcing all doors and windows in my house to avoid being a victim again. They might not keep anyone out but at least someone would make enough noise for me to wake up and arm myself. 

Once again, thank you everyone and I apologize for bumping an old thread. I know it's annoying but I felt I needed to respond to you all who took time to respond in the first place.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

Jeep said:


> Well we were training in UAE, during Desert Shield. We were nere an abandoned homestead out in the middle of nowhere. There were wild Camels close by. My platoon Sergeant handed me hid disposable camera and said get over there and get me some photos. Well I crossed the too close for comfort line for the male. He chased me into the run down home and everytime I tried to go out a door or window he came around. I threw my MRE crackers out and when he got them he didn't pay me anymore attention. But he almost got me.


I would have shot the bastage but that's just me.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

UNO said:


> Kahlan's thread got me thinking about something that's been on my mind for quite a while...
> 
> How do you remain calm? When you're attacked and you fear for your safety, how do you remember that knife in your pocket or gun on your side?
> 
> ...


It is difficult to respond when someone that you know attacks you, but it can be done, just look at them and think to yourself, they might maim me, or kill me.
Then, let the have it with a strong fist or foot.
I was attacked fiercely by someone and unfortunately for him, I remembered my knife. And I killed him with it and it was pretty ugly.
But, he had made it clear that he intended to kill or maim me: he made it life and death, and I won.
I won at my trial, which was for 1st degree murder, he lost it all and it was his own doing.


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## turbo6 (Jun 27, 2014)

Fwiw, a knife is a last ditch weapon. Generally when a knife is used juries are predisposed to think it is a tool of the aggressor. So certainly it would have to be a life or death thing, at least in terms of outside my home.

Now faced with multiple assailants, given that I only had a knife with me I would at least try to diffuse the situation best I can and then only pull it when absolutely necessary. You don't want to play your best card until you have to and when several people are involved you don't want the knife wrestled away and used on you.

If the law permits, get a gun instead.


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## txmarine6531 (Nov 18, 2015)

UNO said:


> Kahlan's thread got me thinking about something that's been on my mind for quite a while...
> 
> How do you remain calm? When you're attacked and you fear for your safety, how do you remember that knife in your pocket or gun on your side?
> 
> ...


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

I was never calm when under attack , controlled maybe but never calm.


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