# Gentleman: Proper Restroom Etiquette



## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

How to Use the Public Restroom Like a Gentleman: An Illustrated Guide

PAY PARTICULAR ATTENTION TO #2,3 AND 4!

While it may seem that the laws of etiquette only apply to dinner parties and theater outings, a certain decorum should prevail even in a public restroom. Today we illuminate the unspoken (and too often unfollowed) code of conduct for using the bathroom like a gentleman.

How to Use the Public Restroom Like a Gentleman: An Illustrated Guide | The Art of Manliness


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

Do all of that already. Although my gag reflex is getting weaker or my sense of smell is getting better.


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## alterego (Jan 27, 2013)

All of the items mentioned within are nice. The reality of the problem is much worse. If we could get the liberal Democrat's to not shit and Piss all over the walls in the restrooms at the stores it would be grand.

One of these days I am going to catch a person who does this. The outcome will not be good.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

James m said:


> Do all of that already. Although my gag reflex is getting weaker or my sense of smell is getting better.


James,

I've been known to give some good advice to the youngsters, but in order to be of assistance, I need to know; What are you putting so far down your throat while in the bathroom to prompt your gag reflex?


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

alterego said:


> ...If we could get the liberal Democrat's to not shit and Piss all over the walls in the restrooms at the stores it would be grand....


I cannot argue with that...


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Yes. Please flush. And the floor is not a toilet. Thanks.

I find it hilarious to turn the lights out on my way out of the public restroom if someone's in there dropping a deuce.


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

I'm confused. When I find that someone has done the dirty deed in the sink, do I still have to wash my hands then? I just want to get this right.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Arklatex said:


> Yes. Please flush. And the floor is not a toilet. Thanks.
> 
> I find it hilarious to turn the lights out on my way out of the public restroom if someone's in there dropping a deuce.





sideKahr said:


> I'm confused. When I find that someone has done the dirty deed in the sink, do I still have to wash my hands then? I just want to get this right.


I just peed myself.


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

When I was in college, I went to a party once where the line for the urinal was too long for one fella, so he kicked a hole through the plasterboard wall, and watered the studs. Is this proper etiquette?


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

sideKahr said:


> When I was in college, I went to a party once where the line for the urinal was too long for one fella, so he kicked a hole through the plasterboard wall, and watered the studs. Is this proper etiquette?


Yes


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

I went to visit my wife at work one day. She works for a major retailer. As I walked in I heard "Code Brown, front" then all of the employees promptly migrated to the back of the store. I asked my wife what a code brown was and she said that someone had sprayed crap all over one of the stalls and the closest people were expected to rush in and clean it.


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

I'd say be sure to pee on the Urinal Cake.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Our good friend Mrs A was an elementary school teacher. She tells the story of little Johnny who was a husky young man with a large appetite for sweets. One day a little boy came running up to Mrs A screaming, "Mrs A, Mrs A, Johnny is eating the pink thing in the toilet". Upon investigation, Mrs A did confirm that a bite had been taken out of the urinal cake.

Advice to the youngsters; If you are planning to eat the pink thing in the toilet of a public restroom, DON'T.


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## GasholeWillie (Jul 4, 2014)

I hate leaving a mess for some other poor working sole to clean up afterward. At work we have just regular toilets, men and womens, no urinals. So of course the possibility of urine splatter on the rim of the toilet is always a probability, and since there are multiple users, well you get the picture. When I get done using I will pull either some TP or a paper hand towel and wipe the rim off. After all, I AM going to wash my hands afterwards so the germ factor does not bother me. And there is a bit of barrier layer in the process when done correctly.

In another forum, the subject of installing using a bidet came up. I never have used before. Curiosity is getting the better part of me. You can add a spray hose to your existing plumbing for $40 to $60.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you want to get the germ a phobes going. As they are washing their hands Dr style, take the paper towel you dried your hands with and wipe the towel dispenser knob. They freak out. I haven't tried wiping the door knob yet.


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## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

So help me understand a question about male urination. You guys can have contests about who can pee the farthest, have aiming competitions, write your names on rocks, and perform all varieties of urination feats on demand. However when a nurse has to assist you with a urinal or needs you to pee in a cup, all of a sudden there is an issue of "shy bladder." So what's up with that????

Furthermore, when you are told to take EVERYTHING off for surgery, you guys seem to think that does not include underwear. Men are 100 times more resistant to removing underwear for surgery than are women. Come on, guys, it's_ hernia _surgery! How do you think that is going to happen with your underwear on???? What's up with that?????


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## GasholeWillie (Jul 4, 2014)

Uhh, stupid is as stupid does? Some men are very modest about these things, far less clinical than you are. That is the only reason I can think of, just 2 completely different trains of thought.


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## oddapple (Dec 9, 2013)

RNprepper said:


> So help me understand a question about male urination. You guys can have contests about who can pee the farthest, have aiming competitions, write your names on rocks, and perform all varieties of urination feats on demand. However when a nurse has to assist you with a urinal or needs you to pee in a cup, all of a sudden there is an issue of "shy bladder." So what's up with that????
> 
> Furthermore, when you are told to take EVERYTHING off for surgery, you guys seem to think that does not include underwear. Men are 100 times more resistant to removing underwear for surgery than are women. Come on, guys, it's_ hernia _surgery! How do you think that is going to happen with your underwear on???? What's up with that?????


Like too many here, a perfect example of what I'm supposed to stick up for and defend. It's bad enough the dirty 2nd graders with no real point that isn't masturbatory , but you I wanted to commend personally for your shining example. Have them following you. You don't have the skills for this war and will look like mammy yokum. But you will have the funniest jokes.


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

oddapple said:


> Like too many here, a perfect example of what I'm supposed to stick up for and defend. It's bad enough the dirty 2nd graders with no real point that isn't masturbatory , but you I wanted to commend personally for your shining example. Have them following you. You don't have the skills for this war and will look like mammy yokum. But you will have the funniest jokes.


Wow! That's a classic, oddapple.


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## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

oddapple said:


> Like too many here, a perfect example of what I'm supposed to stick up for and defend. It's bad enough the dirty 2nd graders with no real point that isn't masturbatory , but you I wanted to commend personally for your shining example. Have them following you. You don't have the skills for this war and will look like mammy yokum. But you will have the funniest jokes.


???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


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## oddapple (Dec 9, 2013)

Yes, I agree. You appear to be.


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## azrancher (Dec 14, 2014)

OK, let me be Frank here... no you be Frank.
How many of you guys wash your hands before you pee... I didn't see very many of you raise your hands. Think about it our Moms taught us to wash our hands after we touched our thingie, why, because she knew that it might have near some girls nasty thingie right? Our Dads taught us not to pee on our fingers, so why are we washing our hands after? So you've showered in the morning and cleaned up your thingie, and then you touched door knobs, shopping carts, perhaps shook hands with another guy etc, and now you are going to spread all that to your thingie?

The bottom line is wash before, and don't pee on your fingers.

*Rancher*


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

OK, first - RNPrepper - I lost my shyness a long time ago. Before my kids got old enough for it to matter I walked around the house nekkid. Once my daughter started needing privacy I stopped. If I need help while peeing in a cup I will call you. 

I worked as a mechanic for a lot of years and I always washed my hands before and after using the restroom. I still do! If a man can't hit the toilet while standing perhaps he should sit, so as not to make a mess for someone else to clean up - or at least clean up after himself.


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

azrancher said:


> OK, let me Frank here... no you be Frank.
> How many of you guys wash your hands before you pee... I didn't see very many of you raise your hands. Think about it our Moms taught us to wash our hands after we touched our thingie, why, because she knew that it might have near some girls nasty thingie right? Our Dads taught us not to pee on our fingers, so why are we washing our hands after? So you've showered in the morning and cleaned up your thingie, and then you touched door knobs, shopping carts, perhaps shook hands with another guy etc, and now you are going to spread all that to your thingie?
> 
> The bottom line is wash before, and don't pee on your fingers.
> ...


Wash before peeing when playing with fiberglass


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Good lord you guys should see the lady's room!! Chicks are just disgusting. I have to clean our work bathroom from time to time and I have seen things that horrified me. Things I don't want to see!! Things you shouldn't see!! I also know that some of the ladies need some grooming.


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## kevincali (Nov 15, 2012)

I grew up in a house full of and shared the restroom with women. Lets just say I can piss with the seat down and not make a mess. Even to this day, my toilet stays clean. I can go months without cleaning it if I wanted to. Meanwhile the front bathroom (guest bathroom) gets disgusting after a week. 

Some guys are just slobs!


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## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

I still fondly remember upper deckers......


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

Walked into the men's room of a restaurant and almost bumped into my padre coming out of stall. OH, hi there, as he holds out his hand to shake hands.
Ok, PaulS, you just made my day. I thought I was the only one (a heavy equipment mechanic too) that washed my hands before and again afterwards. Thank you for showing me that I'm not completely crazy. However, I did start carrying a pair of blue nitrile gloves in my back pocket for emergencies. You know, just in case. Should have seen the looks I got the first time I had to use them when I came out of the stall.


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## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

Mish said:


> I also know that some of the ladies need some grooming.


I some parts of the country I believe they call that dental Floss!:hororr::hororr::hororr::hororr:


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

I like to pee outside because I can. the best I can figure, its a 1:1 ratio based on the weather. Advice to the young people with children; teach your young boys to pee outside. It is a freedom I think.


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Slippy said:


> I like to pee outside because I can. the best I can figure, its a 1:1 ratio based on the weather. Advice to the young people with children; teach your young boys to pee outside. It is a freedom I think.


I still haven't mastered not peeing on myself out camping. 
There is serious skill involved!!


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## SDF880 (Mar 28, 2013)

My 4 things to add. 1. I cannot stand to walk in and see someone at the urinal and their pants down around the ankles, WTF? 2. Stay off the cell phone while at the urinal geezh give it a break for 2 minutes!
3. I used to like connecting thru MSP but since that deal with the senator in the restroom I have avoided that hub, even cost me a few more dollars. I'm going non-stop anywhere I can! 4. I go into the restroom at an airport at 2:30AM do my business and go to the sink and I damn near grabbed the water handle but stopped short of it because there was a milk dud size turd on the handle! WTF!!! 10+ years later I haven't figured that one out yet!


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## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

Slippy said:


> I like to pee outside because I can. the best I can figure, its a 1:1 ratio based on the weather. Advice to the young people with children; teach your young boys to pee outside. It is a freedom I think.


Avoid flat rocks and this stuff!


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## azrancher (Dec 14, 2014)

AquaHull said:


> Wash before peeing when playing with fiberglass


Is this from experience?

*Rancher*


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

I think if they want us to behave better in restrooms, then they should design them better. 

1. I especially enjoy the sinks where the bowl is shaped to splash the water right onto your pants at the most embarrasing location.
2. I once pushed on a soap dispenser that was so cheaply made that it broke off in my hand.
3. How about the electric paper towel dispensers that give you enough towel to dry 1/2 of one hand.
4. Hot air hand driers that are wall mounted over a perpetual puddle of water.

And here is an idea: spring load the seats on commodes (in mens rooms only, obviously) to raise as the default position. Duh.


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Lots of fun bathrooms out there!!


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