# Who to trust?



## GrapeApe (Mar 25, 2015)

Hello. I have a general question and would like opinions so I dont feel like a selfish a-hole in my prepping. I have a good friend, we go shooting and talk about prepping. Almost all the books I've read say the more people, the more protection in your group. I've discused combining our families for this purpose but then I got a bad feeling gut feeling now. My problem is 1) I have almost 1/3 or more of my food needed for my family yet he hasnt even started. He hasnt attempted to start. 2) He and my son are both type 1 insulin dependant diabetics. I have accumulated a six-year supply of all my sons diabetic needs including insulin. He has not.
He knows I have this large amount of insulin as he is a irrisponsible diabetic and runs out of insulin quite a bit. He has hit me up for some of my sons a few times but gave up after I refused.
I worry by having his family with ours he/they will mooch and consume our supplies as well as try and use my sons insulin, (which I wont let happen). Any recomendations.


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## wyldefreebyrd (Sep 14, 2014)

Sounds like the guy will be trouble if something does happen. Yes, would be good to have another person in the group but this guy would not be one of them.


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## HuntingHawk (Dec 16, 2012)

Simply comes down to liability or asset. And you have already answered your own question.


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## Pir8fan (Nov 16, 2012)

I wouldn't risk my son for him. Period.


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## Sarahwalker (Mar 3, 2015)

It should be safer having more people in the group but you have to make it clear that there should be fair contribution on each side. Otherwise, you have no choice but to end connections with them.

Atleast you've given them a chance to change for both party's sake.


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

Sounds like your friend is a big time mooch. I would exclude him from your group unless your willing to prep for him and his family. If he is too lazy to prep for his own family, what makes you think he would contribute anything worth while in a SHTF situation?


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

Strength in numbers only applies when the numbers are unified together.
He seems like an opportunistic type. He will do what best suits him at the time.
He will not be a constructive member of a cohesive group.

Keep him as a friend, but drop the prep talk altogether. If he's like most people, he'll forget about it in a year.
If SHTF, he will likely remember it, and come knocking.

"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." - General "Maddog" Mattis


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## Diver (Nov 22, 2014)

The issue you have is you chose to trust him and have since figured out he is not trustworthy. You have limited options for dealing with this now that you are in it. I would suggest telling him you are dissatisfied with the current state of affairs. If he reforms (unlikely but worth a shot) you have what you sought in the first place. If he doesn't reform you can turn him away with a clear conscience.


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## Big Country1 (Feb 10, 2014)

TRUST is a very important role in forming a "group". As said above, you've already answered your own question. If you don't fully trust the guy, then there is NO way you'll be able to trust him when SHTF. Remember its you and your families survival that's the most important. I have a very small "group" mostly family and a few friends ive known forever, all I DO fully trust.


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## Hemi45 (May 5, 2014)

A few years back, I got to being friendly with one of my friend's employees. He was into prepping, firearms, 2A politics, etc. After my friend relocated his business out of state, I started to see another side of this guy that I found a bit unsettling. Nothing specific but I just got that feeling in my gut. I cut ties before we went down the path of working together. For all I know I made a mistake but you've gotta trust your gut, right?


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

There's a reason God gave you a gut. Not including helping to hold your pants up. With no preps, he will be a liability and a probable threat, until he starts prepping in earnest.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

Who to trust? The sign at my mechanic's shop says it best.

"In God We Trust (all others pay cash)"


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

This is exactly why my wife and I do not talk AT ALL about "prepping" with ANYONE. Not even family. Yes, our sons and daughters know if there ever is a big emergency they will be welcome at Answered Prayers Farm. But they do not know the extent of our abilities, they just know we keep chickens and tend vegetables.
We do not "form a group" either, for the same reason.
Several of our neighbors are the self sufficient type, we would no doubt help each other. But I have not asked, nor will I until it is necessary.


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## mcangus (Jun 3, 2014)

Sounds pretty clear to me that this guy is not good for a survival group, maybe not even a friend. Problem is he knows the OP and knows he preps so I would proceed with caution. If OP decides to break ties, which I think he should, do so carefully please and maybe even design it so that the other guy is the one who officially breaks it off. I would also pretend that I stopped prepping so that the guy thinks you are not prepping anymore. Say something like, my wife thinks prepping is a waste of money, I sold most of my prepping supplies to buy a new toy. If this guy knows you have medicine that could save his son's life, who knows what he will do if SHTF. He might convince his friends to come after the OP with firearms to share the loot. I hope I am not going overboard, I don't know this guy personally, but remember, a man will do anything to say his kid's life.



rice paddy daddy said:


> This is exactly why my wife and I do not talk AT ALL about "prepping" with ANYONE. Not even family. Yes, our sons and daughters know if there ever is a big emergency they will be welcome at Answered Prayers Farm. But they do not know the extent of our abilities, they just know we keep chickens and tend vegetables.
> We do not "form a group" either, for the same reason.
> Several of our neighbors are the self sufficient type, we would no doubt help each other. But I have not asked, nor will I until it is necessary.


Perhaps you can softly throw out the idea of prepping with your neighbors?

I am in a similar situation where I don't tell family. It is said, because this forum always talks about family bond, family can be always trusted, blood is thicker than water, etc. Lots of you guys are from rural conservative areas. I am from an urban liberal area. My family is just not on board and are not psychically and mentally fit enough to survive. If you are unlucky like me, of course try to get family into prepping. But if you hit a point where you know it won't work, go through the scenario in your head where you have to reject them if they come knocking after SHTF. Go over it again and again because if the time does come, you have to be able to stick to the plan.


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## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

Look at it like a business deal. Would you go into business with someone that wants to pay for only a quarter of the expense but expects half the profit?


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

I'm sorry if this answer is a bit off topic but I warrant it important enough to reply...

It is very difficult for both long term and short term insulin to maintain its effectiveness for very long... PLEASE, FOR YOU SON'S SAKE, PLEASE CHECK IT.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Geat security in numbers. However, and you already knew the answer, if you can't trust him now you sure as hell can't trust him when lives are at stake. Drop him. He will be a liability rather then an asset.


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## kevincali (Nov 15, 2012)

Ditch him. Slowly though. Don't make it apparent that you're cutting ties. 

I have several "friends" I've slowly severed ties with. 

And about 3 more I may as I type this. 

Can't really trust anyone. No I'm no paranoid, but here's an example. 

A friend goes to a gun shop. Sees ammo you're looking for, hangs out later in the day, says NOTHING. 

When you're talking, he casually bring up xxx has xxxx. 

But it's too late to go, and it's sold out the next morning. 

But me, I do my best to get ahold of my friends, say "I'm going to xxx what do you need if they have any? Or do you want to roll?"

To me seems like a one way street when it happens time and time again. 

I hang out with the one because he has food/guns/ammo. I know he won't come knocking my door down to get my preps. 

I hang out with the other because he has chickens/fruit trees, and now a well. I know he won't be knocking on my door if SHTF.

The other has other skills that could be deemed invaluable post SHTF. 


They all have something I could use/trade for if SHTF. 

It's a double edged sword for me


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

I have a friend who will watch the house while we're away, had problems with water in the basement. He commented on my stockpile, says his wife won't let him do the same, although he wants to. We watch nascar, every chance I get I throw in that supplies are very low with the daughter going to college. Known him for 30 years, but fear he'll want to feed off my back. my .02


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## Diver (Nov 22, 2014)

1skrewsloose said:


> I have a friend who will watch the house while we're away, had problems with water in the basement. He commented on my stockpile, says his wife won't let him do the same, although he wants to. We watch nascar, every chance I get I throw in that supplies are very low with the daughter going to college. Known him for 30 years, but fear he'll want to feed off my back. my .02


What is the wife's objection? Maybe it can be overcome. There is stuff I do that my wife isn't on board with, e.g. prepping, but she tolerates it. All he needs is to get to where the wife will tolerate it.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

I haven't got deep into it with him, but, feel she thinks a waste of money, ain't nothin gonna happen, that sort of thing. He's PW, he had to work on her for years just to get one AR! Love him like a brother from another mother, but he's a big union guy, and about as liberal as they come. We don't talk politics much.! But, as a friend there is nothing he wouldn't do for me, and vice versa. Strange situation, no?


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## patebon (Mar 26, 2015)

Nice thread, new members were listening to this discussion


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

Prepper Rule #1. Do not tell anyone your a prepper. (!)


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

Rule #2:

Trust is a fluid thing in our daily lives, well for most people, and until you know you can trust someone with your 17 year old daughter, your wife and your bank account you really can' trust them with your preps.

There are four people I would trust that much - and I am married to one of them. (she also trusts me with her whole life)


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Only 3 people I trust. My wife is one, My Brother is 2nd. and I am the third. I have friends but I keep them at a distance. Just me. I don't trust easily.


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## Diver (Nov 22, 2014)

1skrewsloose said:


> I haven't got deep into it with him, but, feel she thinks a waste of money, ain't nothin gonna happen, that sort of thing. He's PW, he had to work on her for years just to get one AR! Love him like a brother from another mother, but he's a big union guy, and about as liberal as they come. We don't talk politics much.! But, as a friend there is nothing he wouldn't do for me, and vice versa. Strange situation, no?


Not strange at all. She is thinking like 97% of the population. I would start by having him think about about something short and local, e.g. being told to evacuate due to a hurricane. Then put together Bug Out Bags for each of them and make her bag a gift to her. What is she going to do? Complain about a gift? They are now started.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

Good idea!! Thanks!


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## Grayfox (Mar 26, 2015)

I agree with baglady , don't tell anyone that you are a prepper, not so much of people who may try to steal the good but because governments have ears and ambitions. we don't want to be targets.


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## ekim (Dec 28, 2012)

GrapeApe said:


> Hello. I have a general question and would like opinions so I dont feel like a selfish a-hole in my prepping. I have a good friend, we go shooting and talk about prepping. Almost all the books I've read say the more people, the more protection in your group. I've discused combining our families for this purpose but then I got a bad feeling gut feeling now. My problem is 1) I have almost 1/3 or more of my food needed for my family yet he hasnt even started. He hasnt attempted to start. 2) He and my son are both type 1 insulin dependant diabetics. I have accumulated a six-year supply of all my sons diabetic needs including insulin. He has not.
> He knows I have this large amount of insulin as he is a irrisponsible diabetic and runs out of insulin quite a bit. He has hit me up for some of my sons a few times but gave up after I refused.
> I worry by having his family with ours he/they will mooch and consume our supplies as well as try and use my sons insulin, (which I wont let happen). Any recomendations.


Severe ties right now and have NOTHING else to do with him. This should not be up for debate, you are not his keeper, but it sounds like you are having second thoughts. Good luck if things go south, your going to need it!


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## Grayfox (Mar 26, 2015)

I think it may come to life or death if one day ever happens. In my group, everyone have to have their own supplies on what they will need. tool we can share as long as we give them back. sometimes we get things at thrift stores that someone else may need and we do clean trades. including medical supplies. needles to say you should both families have the same amount of supplies to avoid any future conflict.


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## kevincali (Nov 15, 2012)

Grayfox said:


> I think it may come to life or death if one day ever happens. In my group, everyone have to have their own supplies on what they will need. tool we can share as long as we give them back. sometimes we get things at thrift stores that someone else may need and we do clean trades. including medical supplies. needles to say you should both families have the same amount of supplies to avoid any future conflict.


I do the same thing. I shop for more than myself, or trade.

Just the other day I traded a small soft case that nothing fit in. My .22 was too long and although my 12ga fit, it was tight zipping up. So I traded it for some .22lr ammo.

A friend of mine got a case for his .22 and I got ammo for mine. In our circumstance, we are both fairly equipped that both of us know that the only reason the other would come over during SHTF is as backup and NOT to overtake/steal.

We were having a discussion the other day, running scenarios (what gun would you grab in xxx scenario. What ever gun you grab is your job indefinitely) I grabbed my beretta and said I'll be security guard because I don't trust anyone else. I wouldn't be able to sleep. Not talking down on them, but it's the truth. It was agreed that I was trusted as security because I'm edgy(?) don't know about that. Apparently every time I hear a strange car go up my dead end road, I HAVE to look. I am security for not only my house, but my grandparents, and neighbors. Thankfully we have NOT had a break in or home invasion up this end for a while. About 4-5 years ago, about 8-9 houses down had a home invasion. That was out of my line of sight or hearing. Bummer  But I've done all I can to keep this end safe


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

Kauboy said:


> "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." - General "Maddog" Mattis


Yep///


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## GrapeApe (Mar 25, 2015)

Thank you all for the response. I greatly appreciate all the opinions and reassurance of my gut feeling. Moving across town soon and hope the suggestions of dropping the prep talk will keep him from knocking on my door when SHTF as mentioned above..


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## Notsoyoung (Dec 2, 2013)

It sounds as though your "friend's" preps consists of depending on YOU! IMO, not only would he be a drag on you and your family if the SHTF, he would be a danger. The problem is that he knows that you have what he would need to survive (insulin), and even if you try to distance yourself from him, he would be coming for your supplies.


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## Big Country1 (Feb 10, 2014)

Notsoyoung said:


> It sounds as though your "friend's" preps consists of depending on YOU! IMO, not only would he be a drag on you and your family if the SHTF, he would be a danger. The problem is that he knows that you have what he would need to survive (insulin), and even if you try to distance yourself from him, he would be coming for your supplies.


 After SHTF, This is where Slippy's Pike would come very handy.


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