# Our day learning to shoot



## fred.garvin (Sep 20, 2015)

Today Buck (not his real name) came by about 8:00 this morning to teach Spud (not her real name) and me how to shoot guns. He spent about 2 hours going over gun safety and another hour teaching us about how to operate his guns. He also told us that real preppers do not call them guns. We call them firearms. I guess it is prepper code so we call tell each other from non-preppers. So I showed Buck a private message that I got from Mr Slippy, at least I think Slippy is a man. Maybe he could be a woman or even a man-woman transformer. Buck (not his real name) said Mr Slippy obviously knows things, but he probably isn't a real prepper because he calls them guns and not firearms.



> I see that you want to learn to shoot, so regardless of your skill level, MEMORIZE the basic gun safety rules and insist that others around you do the same;
> RULE I: ALL GUNS ARE ALWAYS LOADED
> 
> RULE II: NEVER LET THE MUZZLE COVER ANYTHING YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO DESTROY
> ...


I really like Mr Slippy (or whatever he is). But I am going to keep my eye on him. I think he might be the one that brought that trollz here! Anyhoo, Buck gave me a package of silhouette targets and a staple gun and told me to staple them up because real preppers only practice shooting people. I put a couple up close and a few further out, maybe 100 yards. I even hung one upside down from a tree so we will be ready if anybody tries to hang upside down from a tree shooting at us. Then I thought of that exclusive private boarding school that Mrs Knotingham (not her real name) runs in town. I never trusted those kids! I never trust a 10 year old that wears a tie. So I put out a few targets lower to the ground so we could practice in case we get overrun by little rich kids. Buck taught us all about shooting with a pistol firearm, then a rifle firearm and even a shotgun firearm. By the end of the afternoon both Spud and I were feeling pretty good about our ability to hit the target. But it sure was a good thing I set up dog kennel cage for us to shoot from! As soon as we started shooting Dave got really scared, then he got really angry (all of them, even the small black one)! They were growling and snarling and running into the cage. It sounded just like a crazed wolverine being electrocuted by jumper cables clamped to its little testacies! But the cage held and a good time was had by all. Buck sure knows how to shoot firearms well, especially with his prosthetic arm! He lost his arm as a child in a farm accident. He got it caught in a pig. Buck works in a warehouse, so he wears out his arms pretty quickly. Every year or two he has to get a new one. So I asked Buck how many spare arms he keeps with his preps. He said he doesn't keep any because they have to be custom fitted every time. The bless that Jimmy (not his real name) put on all of our stuff on Thursday must have still been working because, holy pope on a rope, I was hit with an idea that can only be described as divine inspiration! Buck has a really small stump. We don't talk about it much because he is really sensitive about it. But from looking at it, I realized it is the perfect size to fit inside the mouth of a mason jar! So I grabbed a 2 qt mason jar and one of those Sham-Wow towels that Spud bought from that hyper-active guy on TV. The Sham-Wow worked perfectly as padding for Buck and made a nice tight fit in the mason jar. Plus, those Sham-Wows are really absorbent which is good because Buck sweats a lot. Buck was so impressed with my ability to make a new arm for him and the pope-mobile that I made for Jimmy (not his real name) that he made me the engineer for our prepper group! It was a good day


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

When was the last time you charged a wolverine by clamping jumper cables to its testicles?


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

Wow this is elaborate.


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## darsk20 (Jun 1, 2015)

. . .


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

After reading this post my thoughts are


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

How will Buck (real name unknown) the gun expert pull the trigger with a mason jar? I can't believe I'm asking that question.


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## Eve West (Sep 1, 2015)

I'm not gonna even try.


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## fred.garvin (Sep 20, 2015)

sideKahr said:


> How will Buck (real name unknown) the gun expert pull the trigger with a mason jar? I can't believe I'm asking that question.


He is right handed. The pig got his left hand.


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## 8301 (Nov 29, 2014)

Glad you had a good day Fred. What else can I say?


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## Seneca (Nov 16, 2012)

Now I want dog...I'd name him sparky (not his real name) and he would go everywhere with me.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

first off nice story cause that's what I think it is just a story-next gun,firearm,boomstick whatever if someone shoots you with it is isn't going to matter what the hell they call it anymore to you, practicing shooting little kids cause they are rich and wear ties -dude I got nothing for yah, your either a dolt or a real retard I bet you even have freckles and a bowel hair cut and maybe call yourself the joker. 
and why may I ask would you put a glass jar on someone missing a hand what you want them to loose what they have left when the glass shatters and the stump is full of shards.
I think I have heard enough I really don't use the ignore but for you I make an exception.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Fred may be the ******* equivalent of the Dos Equis Guy...Most Interesting Man in the World! (or whatever his name is).


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## Quip (Nov 8, 2012)

It sounds like you're ready for moving targets. Might I suggest Dave (not their real names).


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Wait, what.


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

Attention thread inhabitants: Fred is dead. See the Bunker.


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

Yep, he popped up one last time in the bunker and Denton leveled him for good. We never will know if he would have made a prepper.


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## TacticalCanuck (Aug 5, 2014)

Slippy needs to lay off the booze.


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## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

Do we need to have a memorial service?


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