# Helping out an AVERAGE friend



## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

SO my wife's friend (call her cindy) is in a tight spot... Her husband (I know him but he is not my friend) was just let go from his job. My Wife tells me yesterday they are down to $11 and have no milk, bread, or other essentials...

Tomorrow we are leaving to catch the train to head out of state to visit my inlaws... I tell my wife to call her friend and give them all the stuff we have in the fridge - Milk, OJ, cheese, salad stuff, etc and other items we have like apples, bananas, etc..also we have bread and buns...

And I go down to the prep pantry and pull ham, beans, rice, some canned fruit, canned veggies, soup..I filled a good sized box....Some of the items in cans are past their BEST BY date...BUT I would eat them...I wonder if they will? 

My thoughts - These folks are really an average american family...They have 2 kids, 2 nice cars, new computer, big TV, etc..but they have nothing in the way of emergency supplies... A week of unemployment and they are on the borderline of going hungry...

Cindy will end up going to the local food pantries, but if it was really a national SHTF event they would be closed... 

I wonder if they will think we are just giving them our crap food because it is past the best by date...

I wonder if when he gets a job that this will be a wake up call?


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## 7515 (Aug 31, 2014)

Maine-Marine.
God bless you for offering them a help.
Unfortunately even if the husband landed another job tomorrow this would still not be a wake up call.
People either recognize the risks and prep or they don't. Sadly the couple your wife knows is like too much of America today.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Maine-Marine said:


> SO my wife's friend (call her cindy) is in a tight spot... Her husband (I know him but he is not my friend) was just let go from his job. My Wife tells me yesterday they are down to $11 and have no milk, bread, or other essentials...
> 
> Tomorrow we are leaving to catch the train to head out of state to visit my inlaws... I tell my wife to call her friend and give them all the stuff we have in the fridge - Milk, OJ, cheese, salad stuff, etc and other items we have like apples, bananas, etc..also we have bread and buns...
> 
> ...


Nope not gonna happen


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Sounds like you needed to rotate stock anyway. This is a great way to do it.

I get your point too. Just imagine this on a large scale, not just one average family. A whole city, or country. Chaos within a week... Hope they make use of your charity but I have my doubts they will wake up. Great post.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

God bless you for helping. I doubt they will even look at the best by date. I am pretty sure that only preppers and a handful of others do.

As far as them seeing the errors of their ways, maybe if you talk to "Cindy" about your pantry she may pressure her husband to take similar precautions once he does land a job again. Or maybe not.

Our older daughter is very much a Cindy type. She was raised in a prepper environment but none of it seems to have stuck. She has spent the last 9 years she has been on her own living two days away from total financial collapse. She has the skills. As an example, we took her to the apple orchard two Saturdays ago and bought her a bushel of apples. To her credit, last weekend she spent Saturday making and canning apple butter and apple sauce one her own. But as far as planning more than 48 hours in advance for her needs... It ain't happening.

It is VERY frustrating, made doubly so because our younger daughter is just the opposite. She and her husband are planned and prepped probably almost as well as we are. They do not have the food and guns that we have, because they do not have the room. But I am sure they are good for at least 6 months. And I would be VERY surprised if they do not have at least 6 different routes planned to our house in an emergency.


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

Charity is a great thing as long as it doesn't become dependance. Unfortunately the American way is to borrow, pay interest and live paycheck to paycheck. Most people in our culture do not save and live below their means. Loss of a job, a death, sudden illness can be crushing to any family. If your wife is on board with prepping perhaps she can breach the subject with her friend.


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Yep..give them that stuff and some cash. Those who give to the poor will be repaid 7 fold shaken down and running over. Its wrote in the Book. Bound to be right.


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## Ripon (Dec 22, 2012)

A few years ago after closing my business the man I'd hired to do electrical and plumbing projects for me had called begging for work. He knew I'd bought an older home and was willing to work for $10 an hour, and came by to find a fence had gone bad. I actually sold two $40 ounces of silver, and with $20 I paid him, and with $60 we bought fence boards and a box of nails and two hours later had a good section of fence. He thanked me. The next week he called again and I had no work or money for him. Three days later he called and I still had nothing for him. He said he had eaten in three days and I gave him some canned goods. He had no way to prepare the soup. He was living out his car. He later told me he ate it cold.


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

We have had them over a couple of times.. I mentioned prepping and even showed them some of the Long term stuff (canned wheat, Rice)

I can always tell when somebody has the light go off and when they just look at you like you are a little crazy. When we meet, the husband will talk to me but you can tell he would prefer to be someplace else...but I am Conservative Independent Christian gun owning hunter with 21 years of military service and he is not


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## Hemi45 (May 5, 2014)

Makes me think of the thousands of drunks that get pinched for a DUI but rather than see it as a wake up call, they chalk it up to bad luck and go to a bar rather than a meeting.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Ripon said:


> A few years ago after closing my business the man I'd hired to do electrical and plumbing projects for me had called begging for work. He knew I'd bought an older home and was willing to work for $10 an hour, and came by to find a fence had gone bad. I actually sold two $40 ounces of silver, and with $20 I paid him, and with $60 we bought fence boards and a box of nails and two hours later had a good section of fence. He thanked me. The next week he called again and I had no work or money for him. Three days later he called and I still had nothing for him. He said he had eaten in three days and I gave him some canned goods. He had no way to prepare the soup. He was living out his car. He later told me he ate it cold.


Sucks to be unprepared... I would bet that most on this forum could make it through a mini - shtf like this or Maine - Marines neighbors no problem. A good side effect to prepping for shtf.


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

I was leaving Aldi's grocery store several months ago...There was a young man outside taking carts back to the rack in order to get the .25 cents. I stopped to talk to him...he had spent the first bit of money he made to buy a can of dog food for his black lab.

I put my food stuff away, went back inside and bought him a box full of stuff... I figured anybody that is willing to take carts back for .25 a whack and spends money to feed his dog first... Deserves a little consideration


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Yeah, I should have expanded on my post and thanked you for doing right. I did not. But I am now, maybe they will change it up.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Maine-Marine said:


> I was leaving Aldi's grocery store several months ago...There was a young man outside taking carts back to the rack in order to get the .25 cents. I stopped to talk to him...he had spent the first bit of money he made to buy a can of dog food for his black lab.
> 
> I put my food stuff away, went back inside and bought him a box full of stuff... I figured anybody that is willing to take carts back for .25 a whack and spends money to feed his dog first... Deserves a little consideration


I had one of those good deeds backfire on me once.

I was sitting in an Applebees across the parking lot from my hotel in Albuquerque, NM. I had just finished my supper when a dad, mom, young adult son and either daughter or girlfriend came in. Son was dressed in an Army dress uniform so I figured they were celebrating his return from Iraq or Afghanistan. I motioned the bartender over and told her that I wanted to anonymously cover their check. I did have to wait until they ordered and finished their meal to pay for it. So I sat and slowly nursed a couple beers being all proud of myself. When the bill came, the bartender had been true to her word and had not told them who had paid for their meal (thankfully). And then she relayed to me the reason the son was even in the States was because he was attending the funeral for his brother who had been KIA in Iraq.

I still feel like a shit when I think about it for intruding on that family's grief.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

sniff……..


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Look I don't want my all business out here, but I can share some. March 16, I was arrested and shortly after released. I was homeless, unemployed and without a vehicle. this took 20 minutes to accomplish. There are ways to make it and ways to give up.


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

God bless you and good job Maine...all our differences aside. You are doing a good deed and I commend you for it. Once you return try to get them to understand and maybe now they will. Well done sir....above and beyond.


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

Inor said:


> I had one of those good deeds backfire on me once.
> 
> I was sitting in an Applebees across the parking lot from my hotel in Albuquerque, NM. I had just finished my supper when a dad, mom, young adult son and either daughter or girlfriend came in. Son was dressed in an Army dress uniform so I figured they were celebrating his return from Iraq or Afghanistan. I motioned the bartender over and told her that I wanted to anonymously cover their check. I did have to wait until they ordered and finished their meal to pay for it. So I sat and slowly nursed a couple beers being all proud of myself. When the bill came, the bartender had been true to her word and had not told them who had paid for their meal (thankfully). And then she relayed to me the reason the son was even in the States was because he was attending the funeral for his brother who had been KIA in Iraq.
> 
> I still feel like a shit when I think about it for intruding on that family's grief.


Inor...I assure you that was not how they would have taken that gesture. We know when someone is respecting us and what you did was respect...clean and pure. He must have seen that and appreciated it. That Sir is a great deed and one I respect myself...thank you for doing it.


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

Jeep said:


> Look I don't want my all business out here, but I can share some. March 16, I was arrested and shortly after released. I was homeless, unemployed and without a vehicle. this took 20 minutes to accomplish. There are ways to make it and ways to give up.


Jeep...I'm one bad decision away from homelessness myself...we all can be "That Guy"... you bring to light things I fear always.


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

Some people will learn, some won't. Bailed out my wife's sister and her husband. Said they'd repay me. My Dad told me to consider a loan to a relative as a gift, because I'd never see it again. I did and he was right. After helping out about every 18 months to 2 years, the children are out of the house on their own, and i don't see the real need to help anymore.


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

paraquack said:


> Some people will learn, some won't. Bailed out my wife's sister and her husband. Said they'd repay me. My Dad told me to consider a loan to a relative as a gift, because I'd never see it again. I did and he was right. After helping out about every 18 months to 2 years, the children are out of the house on their own, and i don't see the real need to help anymore.


Spot on brother...spot on. I never loan shit to family...If I can give it I do expecting nothing in return...to do otherwise will result in hard feelings against family....so save the grief...and just call it a gift.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

Old SF Guy said:


> Inor...I assure you that was not how they would have taken that gesture. We know when someone is respecting us and what you did was respect...clean and pure. He must have seen that and appreciated it. That Sir is a great deed and one I respect myself...thank you for doing it.


Amen ::clapping::


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Maine Marine,
You don't need me to tell you good job, but good job.

2 of my sisters have come to me in the past 10 years asking first for money and getting NONE but getting some solid advise and encouragement. Both are hard workers. Divorce was the cause of both of their money woes and both had jobs.

Sis 1's ex husband wiped her out, took out home equity loans and stole their savings before he left. I listened to her story, overnighted her Dave Ramsey's books and helped her work out a plan. She canceled her kids cell phones, shut off her cable, didn't see the inside of a restaurant for months, sold stuff and was out of debt in 2 years and back on her feet. That was about 10 years ago and she still brags to other family members that her little brother gave her the best advise.

Sis 2's ex did the same thing to her. I explained everything that she needed to do and sent her Dave's books. She did none of it, and argued every step of the way that I was heartless and that she could never shut off her cable or her kids cell phones or sell stuff, or not go out to eat and blah blah blah. Then she tells other family members that her big brother is a mean money loving selfish person who wanted to lecture and belittle her when she was down and out and wouldn't even send her any money!

I recently asked my Mom which one was adopted. Some people never learn.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

Old SF Guy said:


> Spot on brother...spot on. I never loan shit to family...If I can give it I do expecting nothing in return...to do otherwise will result in hard feelings against family....so save the grief...and just call it a gift.


When you loan money, you are causing yourself grief. Loan being the operative word. I give and don't call it a gift. If I get repaid, ok. If not that's ok too. I never give what I can't part with.


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## Zed (Aug 14, 2014)

Maine Marine, Kudos for your deeds, 
some 100 years before..a large percentage of people were good, genuine and helpful to others..
Nowadays finding people like you is getting harder and harder...
Don't worry...even if they don't learn..you did something for the kids!!
And for me Children = Gautam Buddha = Jesus Christ = Innocence


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## Moonshinedave (Mar 28, 2013)

You are a good person for helping them. I do not know your friends, but I know people they sound like. People who are more worried about affording the down payment on next year's new car and let tomorrow take care of itself. Hopefully, this isn't your friends, and a light will come on when they get back on their feet. None the less, you did a wonderful thing helping them.


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## oldmurph58 (Feb 8, 2014)

Ripon said:


> A few years ago after closing my business the man I'd hired to do electrical and plumbing projects for me had called begging for work. He knew I'd bought an older home and was willing to work for $10 an hour, and came by to find a fence had gone bad. I actually sold two $40 ounces of silver, and with $20 I paid him, and with $60 we bought fence boards and a box of nails and two hours later had a good section of fence. He thanked me. The next week he called again and I had no work or money for him. Three days later he called and I still had nothing for him. He said he had eaten in three days and I gave him some canned goods. He had no way to prepare the soup. He was living out his car. He later told me he ate it cold.


You did the right thing and helped him out with some work and food. If karma is real, you'll get it back in spades.


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## oldmurph58 (Feb 8, 2014)

Inor said:


> I had one of those good deeds backfire on me once.
> 
> I was sitting in an Applebees across the parking lot from my hotel in Albuquerque, NM. I had just finished my supper when a dad, mom, young adult son and either daughter or girlfriend came in. Son was dressed in an Army dress uniform so I figured they were celebrating his return from Iraq or Afghanistan. I motioned the bartender over and told her that I wanted to anonymously cover their check. I did have to wait until they ordered and finished their meal to pay for it. So I sat and slowly nursed a couple beers being all proud of myself. When the bill came, the bartender had been true to her word and had not told them who had paid for their meal (thankfully). And then she relayed to me the reason the son was even in the States was because he was attending the funeral for his brother who had been KIA in Iraq.
> 
> I still feel like a shit when I think about it for intruding on that family's grief.


Dude you did them a solid during a bad time, dont feel bad, I for one am proud of you.


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

Thanks for all the thanks... 

I was mostly posting this to show how some folks are always living on the edge


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

Old SF Guy said:


> .all our differences aside.


I am not convinced we have that many differences


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Old SF Guy said:


> Inor...I assure you that was not how they would have taken that gesture. We know when someone is respecting us and what you did was respect...clean and pure. He must have seen that and appreciated it. That Sir is a great deed and one I respect myself...thank you for doing it.


Dittos. i am missing the perceived foo paw of that nice gesture. Sounds mighty heroic to the untrained eye.


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## thepeartree (Aug 25, 2014)

Charity always awards the giver even more than the recipient. I'd say 'god bless', but one thing I'm sure of is that He keeps track of such. I've seen karma in action way too often, good and bad. Make no mistake, though, any one of us is just one misfortune or mistake from disaster. What today's economic world has done is widen the gap between the rich and the poor. And of those in the 'middle', there are damn few left and less every day. That nice comfy spot where you go on a two week vacation yearly and confidently expect to buy a second 'vacation cabin' in a couple of years is disappearing faster than $2 a gallon gas. Soon enough there will be the millionaire/billionaire set and... us. Us being everybody else. Fortunately, I figure that we are ahead of the pack, because we don't need to spend the time needed to dispense with the idea that 'that just can't happen to people these days'... Once you're past the bs, you can act to deal with things. Otherwise, you're like those lost people you see on the news. They're filmed sitting on a pile of rubble after the tornado and you can tell the lights are on, but no_one's home. Their entire lives have just disappeared into a hole in the air.

The basic message here is: Don't get suckered into thinking that it can never be YOU standing there.


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## Ragnarök (Aug 4, 2014)

I think you did an honorable thing by giving them food. 2 nice cars eh? sell one and it can feed you for a couple months if not longer...just sayin.


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## JAGER (Oct 10, 2012)

I know the feeling Maine, I stopped showing our preps to people. I've tried to give some AVERAGE friends of ours some hints and poke them into prepping. They always give me the oohh I'll get by or nothing is going to happen and my favorite I'll just come to your house. Well last person that said they will just come to my house wasn't laughing when I said I'll send him home empty handed, sad and possably leaking.



Maine-Marine said:


> We have had them over a couple of times.. I mentioned prepping and even showed them some of the Long term stuff (canned wheat, Rice)
> 
> I can always tell when somebody has the light go off and when they just look at you like you are a little crazy. When we meet, the husband will talk to me but you can tell he would prefer to be someplace else...but I am Conservative Independent Christian gun owning hunter with 21 years of military service and he is not


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## Boss Dog (Feb 8, 2013)

JAGER said:


> ...I'll just come to your house. Well last person that said they will just come to my house wasn't laughing when I said I'll send him home empty handed, sad and possably leaking.


I had a young co-worker tell me that also. When I looked him in the eye and told him "I shoot intruders", he was to say the least, speechless. 
Then I went on to explain to him family responsibilities. Now he stocks ammo, food, keeps a garden and chickens. 
Sometimes it takes an Oh #[email protected]% moment to motivate and sometimes they even act on it.


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