# Dating, Whats my type?



## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

Dear Abby 
I lost my mate (wife) about 8 years ago and guess I never got over it. I must be damaged goods. 

After listening to my own kids complain and wine about me not moving on I deiced to get back into
dating. I recently told a woman that she was just not my type. She asked me what my type was.
I told her I didn't know. In my life I have only ever met one woman that was my type and I never
could figure out what made her my type and so irresistible to me. I always thought she was the 
one that wasn't right.(anyone that puts there finger in the face of a cop and gives them a cussing 
is not right--- I saw her do this. (we got caught in the back seat of her car after being married 8 years) 
It's so simple that it becomes complicated.

She said that something was wrong with me and I needed to talk to someone.-she was mad-
So I'm talking to you. Am I crazy for not knowing what my type is? 

After 10 years that little black dress still had the same affect on me as the first time I saw it. 
Boy a lot has changed.


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

My condolences. I can understand your feelings except for the pain you must feel. I can't imagine loosing my wife of 45 years. I can't imagine anyone being able to trip my trigger the way she did. I asked her out because she was there and I was there in the same place. I wasn't looking for a girl friend, let alone a wife! Neither was she. On our third date, I asked her to marry me. It took her another month to finally say yes. Is there someone out there for you, probably. Don't go out with the idea of finding a woman, wife, or mate. Go out to have a good time, make a friend, and enjoy yourself. Who knows when Cupid's arrow will find you. I assume it was your date woman who said something was wrong with you. You're not crazy, maybe lost, but not crazy. I always thought my type was a cute little blonde but with something upstairs. Turned out I was so wrong.


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## jimb1972 (Nov 12, 2012)

Pick up some trashy gal and introduce her to your kids as their new mom (a willing accomplice in disguise is a plus) That will probably at least shut the kids up. Do as you please, if you want to find someone look around, if you don't don't and you might find someone either way. Usually the best way to find something or someone is to stop looking.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

im sorry for your loss. I always figure the right person will present themselves at the right time. I could be wrong. but I don't mind the wait. best on luck to you. nothing is wrong with you. dating sure has changed since we have been at it. now texting and internet deals and games ... oh boy... what a mess!

I was where you were at . I didn't even know. then I was able to articulate what I didn't want, then later was able to say what I did want... then took another step of not getting what I wanted and doing something about it. some people swing from branch to branch, like monkeys. I know the person I would find suitable wouldn't accept being second best. Because I wont accept it or accept side shows of drama. I take a yr or two sometimes 3 between relationships, find my balance refine my preferences.


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Man, like these two smart men have stated, Love will find a way. As for your kids, maybe they just see you lonely, and you see it a diiferent way.
I offer my deepest condolences on your wife, but I guess she would want you to be happy. I have no idea how Heaven works, becouse I feel you can love two women, at seperate times, So, the "eternity in Heaven" thing also has some weight.
Either way, I have found most women like a challenge, so look, but dont look to hard. Smile and be confident, knowing you are a "great guy" and a good catch.


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

And Damnit, havent I already said you and shotlady should "talk"?


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

I don't have a little black dress. I have a little black holster :/


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

I know what your type is, a woman that just suits you, few and far between tho....

its not that your fussy you just want a partner that suits you, your dearly departed wife was just that, nothing to be ashamed of or be worried about, it just is what it is....

there is no need to rush or advertise, just keep crushing along, if there is a new love out there you will trip over her.... 

when it comes to the kids hounding I like the trashy idea, a granny would be better, in a short snake skin dress... leaving nothing to the imagination, the stuff of nightmares


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## Reptilicus (Jan 4, 2014)

You will know when that magic happens again and it will be when you least expect!


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

shotlady said:


> I don't have a little black dress. I have a little black holster :/


question, with a little dress where do you hide your firearm


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## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

pheniox17 said:


> question, with a little dress where do you hide your firearm


 That's funny,,,,, I like that question.


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

One that will tolerate you??lol


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## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

jimb1972 said:


> Pick up some trashy gal and introduce her to your kids as their new mom (a willing accomplice in disguise is a plus) That will probably at least shut the kids up. Do as you please, if you want to find someone look around, if you don't don't and you might find someone either way. Usually the best way to find something or someone is to stop looking.


 I do like that idea,,,,,,,, A white trash girl younger than them. Or maybe even a Girl of color?
My wife would find that hilarious. She still watches


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## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

Beach Kowboy said:


> One that will tolerate you??lol


I came home one time and she was dressed like a cheap street whore with a blond wig she said,
"Your wife won't be home tonight,,,,She wanted me to keep you company ,,,My name is Candy."

I said "Hi my name is John" 
Is there a man that doesn't like Fish net stockings with a line up the back? Maybe I do need to talk to someone LOL 
She charged me a hundred bucks and wouldn't take a check ---- money well spent 
Sorry I like to talk about her but very seldom do. And never on a date

I think only about 1 in a thousand (or less) knows what makes a man tick 
Those are the ones that are spoiled rotten.

How can something so complicated as a woman have a problem figuring out
something so simple as a man?


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## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

shotlady said:


> im sorry for your loss. I always figure the right person will present themselves at the right time. I could be wrong. but I don't mind the wait. best on luck to you. nothing is wrong with you. dating sure has changed since we have been at it. now texting and internet deals and games ... oh boy... what a mess!
> 
> I was where you were at . I didn't even know. then I was able to articulate what I didn't want, then later was able to say what I did want... then took another step of not getting what I wanted and doing something about it. some people swing from branch to branch, like monkeys. I know the person I would find suitable would accept being second best. I take a yr or tow sometime 3 between relationships, find my balance refine my preferences.


 At least a man would feel safe with you. Afraid to make a move ,, But still safe


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

How can something so complicated as a woman have a problem figuring out
something so simple as a man? ----Absolutely love that....I am GONNA quote you on it. 
How men can keep a woman happy- still trying to figure all of it out, ran out of ink.....
How women can keep a man happy- feed him, let him see your boobs, feed him.


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

Deebo said:


> How women can keep a man happy- feed him, let him see your boobs, feed him.


Amen


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

My type is the sort who can switch from being the sweet feminine sort to the tough no-nonsense sort at the appropriate times.
She'll do..-










PS- in fact I regularly walk the seafront here looking for American widows off the cruise liners to hopefully strike up a friendship with, then after a whirlwind romance and marriage we'll go back to the US and live happily on her ranch for the rest of our lives, she can rope me, throw me and brand me any time she likes..


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## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

Deebo said:


> How can something so complicated as a woman have a problem figuring out
> something so simple as a man? ----Absolutely love that....I am GONNA quote you on it.
> How men can keep a woman happy- still trying to figure all of it out, ran out of ink.....
> How women can keep a man happy- feed him, let him see your boobs, feed him.


 My wife once said "If you keep your dog well fed he won't get into the neighbors trash"


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Budget,

Me and Mrs Slippy have been married a long time and we've talked about the strange dating rituals of today and how the dating game has changed over the 30+ years that we have known each other. I don't have a clue how people date today with the internet, texting BS that everyone does nowadays.

I was at a business lunch recently with 5 other people. One guy other than myself was married and he and his wife met online. The other three people all had dated or were dating people that they had met online. It all seemed very strange to me. 

So what's your type? Hell if I know. Maybe you should look at buying an Asian or Russian chick on line? Does anyone know if you can really do that?


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

Oh yea. My cousin in California has a mail order bride. She tells him she doesn't love him in front of everyone!

Other than that all I can say is im sorry for your loss. We have all lost someone dear to us over the years. Its a guarantee that everyone will eventually pass on.


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

I used to run this produce/veg packinghouse and we would have 100-200 trucks a day coming into pick up stuff. I had 2 offices (1 in each building because they were so far apart)but spent very little time in them. I liked to spend time on the floor talking and helping my guys. I didn't ask them to do anything I wouldn't do myself. Anyway, to back on track. I would even talk with some of the truck drivers(more than 80% were foreign and stunk like raw ass). There was this one white guy that lived pretty close to me and whenever he came in every few pays. He would always find me to talk. He was ALL ABOUT RUSSIAN BRIDES. Seemed like every few weeks he showed me a new pic always different women,on his phone and told me how much they were in love. He even went over there at least 4-5 times that I knew about. This guy is a 51yr old guy. He does work out and is built like a brick shithouse but last I heard, he has one living with him now. I have no idea if they are happy and it's not my thing. But to each his own..lol


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

The way to find someone who suits you is to happily do the things you enjoy. Get out and live life! Get to know yourself and get secure in that. When you are out enjoying yourself you become a more attractive person. Eventually you will run into a woman who likes to do the same things you do. You will at least become good friends and one of these women are likely to be a great match for you.


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

Find someone you trust with your life and you have a keeper. When she will wear a cowboy hat and boots (nothin else) you have a keeper..


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Beach Kowboy said:


> Find someone you trust with your life and you have a keeper. When she will wear a cowboy hat and boots (nothin else) you have a keeper..


Bk,
You need to write a book! That is a great title for a Self Help Relationship type book. Well done sir, well done.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

Other than someone who matches your ethics, morals and principles, how in the world are you to define your _type_? Just as sure as you attempt to define it, the one who comes around will not fit the definition.

Good luck!


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## Rigged for Quiet (Mar 3, 2013)

When I met my wife I wasn't looking and she was coming out of a bad relationship with two very young kids in tow. I was just getting settled in an advanced instructor billet and she had grown up in a military town with a life long vow to avoid us. Spring had just rolled in and the base softball league was getting started. My office's team had been not won in two years but with some new blood we headed into season. On my way to our first game I stopped in at this restaurant to grad a sandwich. This was when I first saw her, even though I figured she didn't pay much attention to me even if I did look rather amazing in my brand new softball uniform!

We won that first game, and being a long time baseball, and then softball player, superstition is a very real thing. For game two I figured I had to follow the same routine as before game one, including getting the same sandwhich at the same place before the game. Even had the same waitress. We won 13 straight to open that season and somewhere around seventh or eigth game I figured I should ask out the long legged brunette who had been serving me my good luck sandwhich. Never saw it coming.

Sure we have things in common, but we are polar opposites on many many things. It's almost like we are each others Yin to each others Yang. I don't why we click sometimes being such different personalities, and most of our longterm friends and family continue to be amazed, but we're still standing.

I dunno, maybe our type is the one who fills in the missing pieces or opens the door to worlds you never really considered. I don't know how else a southern boy ends up with a polish yankee for life partner, lol.


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

When I met mine my brother and some friends drug me out to this place in Plant City,Fl Bigdogs Patio. I did not want to go, I felt like shit and worked over 90hrs that week already so just wanted to sleep. I went anyway for a "little while" which turned into a few hrs I guess. I was about to leave and walked to the other end of the bar to say goodbye to someone and she stopped me and asked if I wanted to play pool. I said "you talked me into it" and we have been together ever since..


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

shotlady said:


> im sorry for your loss. I always figure the right person will present themselves at the right time. I could be wrong. but I don't mind the wait. best on luck to you. nothing is wrong with you. dating sure has changed since we have been at it. now texting and internet deals and games ... oh boy... what a mess!
> 
> I was where you were at . I didn't even know. then I was able to articulate what I didn't want, then later was able to say what I did want... then took another step of not getting what I wanted and doing something about it. some people swing from branch to branch, like monkeys.* I know the person I would find suitable wouldn't accept being second best.* Because I wont accept it or accept side shows of drama. I take a yr or two sometimes 3 between relationships, find my balance refine my preferences.


mortified and corrected. my guy wont accept being second best.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

budgetprepp-n said:


> At least a man would feel safe with you. Afraid to make a move ,, But still safe


with the right cat I wont be hyper aware. he will be and I can get down to the business of being a broad  when I go out with guys I watch their awareness and consideration and positioning. I went with this guy with an r8 and it was drizzling hed speed up and hit the brakes hard and ride up on people in stop and go traffic. I look at how they drive, do they consider my comfort or safety? if I don't feel safe- fired.

Then I went with this one guy to universal city walk and he didn't move over for groups of teens. he walked me right through the middle putting me in position to get bumped or for confrontation. I fired him within two steps after I made it through. this guy wasn't concerned for my comfort or safety either. I fired him and called for a car service home.

then another cat said such horrible things about his ex- I knew it would be just a matter of time before he talked like that to and about me. besides, that's what bitches do. the dood I choose wont be a little bitch. no will he be abusive. I fired him at the dinner table as soon as I got an earful of the demeaning words he used on his ex. nothing makes me feels so special that he wont do the same with me.

look here's the deal. god promised us a place at the table. we needn't be off to the side begging for scraps of time, attention, love, safety, appreciation like a pup. anything less than total will be declined.

the right person at the right time its okay if you believe for it.


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

shotlady said:


> with the right cat I wont be hyper aware. he will be and I can get down to the business of being a broad  when I go out with guys I watch their awareness and consideration and positioning. I went with this guy with an r8 and it was drizzling hed speed up and hit the brakes hard and ride up on people in stop and go traffic. I look at how they drive, do they consider my comfort or safety? if I don't feel safe- fired.
> 
> Then I went with this one guy to universal city walk and he didn't move over for groups of teens. he walked me right through the middle putting me in position to get bumped or for confrontation. I fired him within two steps after I made it through. this guy wasn't concerned for my comfort or safety either. I fired him and called for a car service home.
> 
> ...


Very true! A guy needs to be aware of the surroundings. But he also need to be respectful of other people. And NEVER talk bad about your ex's... I actually left most of mine on good terms. And NEVER wipe them out when you leave. My ex wife and last ex before my girl now. It was mostly about work and I was never home. I would be overseas for a few months at a time so I knew it was mostly me. Even though they knew what I did BEFORE we got serious.. When I parted with my wife, I took $500 out of the bank and took my 72 CJ 5 Jeep and left her everything else. No fighting and bitching.

I would rather start fresh than be the asshole that screwed over his women!


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

heh I watch my sport bike friends how they meet a chick who skinned her ex and gets all sorts of payments. they then go enjoy the spoils then he's surprised when she skins him when its over. I never did understand the surprise. I walked away from a lot what the law said I could have. I just wanted out. I didn't need anything like money. I can make that on my own. never was able to see taking something that wasn't yers or was a perk of being with a person...

its very important to watch how the person treats an ex. some you just gotta get away from and there's a story.
mine was a just gotta get away and out of this deal. and I still wouldn't mind punching him in the kidneys  he pulled a new stunt in the last couple of weeks. he took a rifle of the range (that I had loaned my older son) and forgot it with out asking to borrow it. then suggested that my son Bradley stole it. the sherrifs dept cleared that up, because it had been turned in to them now I have to spend all sorts of time & money to get it back. now I got time and I got money. but im mad he would suggest that my son stole it when he knew damn good and well he took it and lost it. ya. id like to punch him in the ****ing head. I still may. who would protect their own reputation by lieing about yer kid is pretty low.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

I was supposed to marry the woman I was living with but she decided to break it off. We had a date for some time this summer we had a ring. The ring went back and we split our stuff. I helped her move into her new place and lost some steak knives in the shuffle but its fair. 
We always seem to be on and off again. 
We were just at a biker bar two hours ago.


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## Didrich Bader (Oct 17, 2021)

We, too, are now spoiling relations with our wife and we are moving away from each other. But I don't want to lose her because I love her. I want to try to bring something new to our lives, but I don't know what.


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## 7515 (Aug 31, 2014)

A lot of old names on that post. 
Shotlady was such a awesome member. I hope she is doing well. 
BoF


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

Didrich Bader said:


> We, too, are now spoiling relations with our wife and we are moving away from each other. But I don't want to lose her because I love her. I want to try to bring something new to our lives, but I don't know what.


I'm confused. Who is spoiling relations with your wife? You and her other husband?


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

*I'm confused. Who is spoiling relations with your wife? You and her other husband?*

Well, Annie, after reading a few lines of a post that was tagged in 2012 I will admit that I'm a bit confused, as well. For example, if the problem is indeed from *2012* then it might have been resolved long before we all found out about it.

Then again, this is a discussion forum and something like this--no matter what the time or place--might also provide some information to many folks who come here just to read and not provide circumstances in their lives.


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## dkiieas (May 5, 2021)

(spam)


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Not sure for you but a good looking hard working excellent cook with a sweet temper who cant talk would probably be ideal for some wife seekers..and remember a man who finds a wife finds a good thing to paraphrase the Users Manual. .


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## Spenser (5 mo ago)

budgetprepp-n said:


> Dear Abby
> I lost my mate (wife) about 8 years ago and guess I never got over it. I must be damaged goods.
> 
> After listening to my own kids complain and wine about me not moving on I deiced to get back into
> dating. I recently told a woman that she was just not my type. She asked me what my type was.


Your type, that budget you already know. The reason that gal was not your type is also easy. She was not your beloved belated wife, and it is that simple. You just cannot let go of your wife

"to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death." 

Easy words to say to someone you love, but their leaving you and this world doesn't mean that you are not still in love with your departed wife. 

Btw, I am truly sorry for your loss. And yes you are damaged goods, so am I, as we cannot stop loving our gals with all of our hearts, we just cannot let go.

My only suggestion to you is to get a dog. Bring your dog to those dog parks and just mingle. You will have a life companion, a barking one, which may lead to you meeting a gal in the same boat as you are.


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## CC Pereira (9 mo ago)

budgetprepp-n said:


> I came home one time and she was dressed like a cheap street whore with a blond wig she said,
> "Your wife won't be home tonight,,,,She wanted me to keep you company ,,,My name is Candy."
> 
> I said "Hi my name is John"
> ...


Great idea! Thanx! I think I'll have to pull that one on my husband ... he would love that!


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## CC Pereira (9 mo ago)

Deebo said:


> How can something so complicated as a woman have a problem figuring out
> something so simple as a man? ----Absolutely love that....I am GONNA quote you on it.
> How men can keep a woman happy- still trying to figure all of it out, ran out of ink.....
> How women can keep a man happy- feed him, let him see your boobs, feed him.


My husband wrote the following to do list on a white board:

arch
make wife happy
borax + honey
solar panel
countertop filter
long sawzall blades
filter fittings
sink drain

Apparently, he thinks I'm not happy yet ... but honestly, I'm not that hard to please, and I'm not unhappy.


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## Spenser (5 mo ago)

Cough... 

sorry excuse me , um had something in my throat, yea that what happened....


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## CC Pereira (9 mo ago)

Spenser said:


> Cough...
> 
> sorry excuse me , um had something in my throat, yea that what happened....


???


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## CC Pereira (9 mo ago)

One day, one of my daughters and her husband were talking about what they think should be done when my husband and I get too old to take care of ourselves. She said they would have us live with them instead of sending us to a nursing home. My husband said he might prefer the nursing home, so he could harass the nurses. I said I would prefer my daughter and her husband's place. My husband said he would live with our daughter and her husband, but only if he could have a maid. I said that would be fine, but only if I also get a pool boy, and began to describe the pool boy. My husband then said he wanted his maid to be a mute.

We've been together for over 26 years. We have been through a lot together, are VERY honest with each other, and know each other VERY well. I hope we both make it to oldhood together, and that I go before he does, so I don't have to live the rest of my life after his death without him. If that does happen, I hope he gets the mute maid.


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## Spenser (5 mo ago)

CC Pereira said:


> ???


God came down to Earth to grant one of his children of this world a wish.

He speaks to this man
" Your lord will provide you with 1 wish what would you like in this world my son"

and the man replied, 
" Well, I have to drive 3 hours a day to go to work cause I have to drive around this huge lake, I wish for a bridge to be built from here to the other side so that I only would have to drive an hour a day."

God says "This is no simple task that you ask for and there are consequences to make this happen for you my child, but think of the impact, the trees that would have to be cut down, the time it would take, is there any other wish that you may have ?"

the man thought for a stint and said
" Well, I would like to know how a woman thinks, as I never seem to understand them"

the Lord replies
"Ok, so do you want that a 2 lane bridge or four lane..."




Cough
translates to

That is going to be on your frig forever, cause ain't no man knows how to make their woman happy


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## Spenser (5 mo ago)

CC Pereira said:


> . My husband then said he wanted his maid to be a mute.


I had a huge belly laugh from that one with me smiling cheek to cheek.


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