# So... what's the dumbest single thing you have EVER said in your life?



## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

For me, there's no question what the single most stupid thing I have ever said in my life is.

I was 13, and my father had told me before I left for school to mow the grass when I got home. My father was a drinking man and a hard man, and he expected his word to be obeyed.

I got home and got to messing around with something or other, and when my father got home from work at 4:30 he saw that I hadn't started on the grass. He came to my room and said "I told you to cut the grass, go get on it and get it done."

For some reason, I have no idea to this day why, I looked him square in the eye and said "I'll do it if you are man enough to make me."

THAT was the stupidest thing I have ever said in my life. 

After he got done beating the living tar out of me, I went out (black eye, bloody nose and all) and mowed the grass. 

When I came in for supper, mom looked at me shocked and said "what on earth happened to you?"

"Mowing accident" I replied. 

Today my dad would have been hauled off and put in jail for what he did, and I suppose it wasn't right... but what I said to him wasn't right either, and while I regret the experience I never once blamed him... (and no, before you ask, I have never once beaten or even spanked a kid, we don't have kids).


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

"I do."

I kid, I kid.


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## SOCOM42 (Nov 9, 2012)

kauboy said:


> "i do."
> 
> i kid, i kid.


+1 and no kid!


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## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

I've said too many stupid things to single out just one. But I do remember one my dad said to me. Right about the time I started messing with girls there was no call waiting, answering machines or call ID. Just a plain old rotary phone. We'll the phone was ringing off the hook with girls calling and my father got tired of answering it. After it rang one too many times for his liking he handed the receiver to me but before he let go he said "From now on, when your friends call YOU answer the phone". My dad really should've been the inventor of caller ID.


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## Pir8fan (Nov 16, 2012)

Spring 2008 "Obama won't get elected". There have been others but that one tops them all.


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## Ripon (Dec 22, 2012)

"I do" was the smartest thing I ever said. I doubt I'd be here if she hadn't kept me in line.

Stupidest: "Sin licencia, supongo que voy a llamar a una grúa"

That was what I said to five hispanic men after stopping them for running a stop sign one night, and yes I was nice enough to let them ride in the ambulance with me to the hospital.


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

I had a very attractive woman ask me "Will you respect me later?"

I said "Hell! I don't respect you now..."


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

So Ripon, any of them live to tell the tale?


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## TacticalCanuck (Aug 5, 2014)

I said yes. 

That's it. 

What was the question you ask?

"Do these pants make my arse look fat?" 

My silhouette can still be seen in trucks back seat to this day.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

I am really busy ,I don't gave a dam what you do with that deer..... Do you know how much it cost to have a very large deer made into to all small size hot sticks.
lesson leaner busy or not watch what you say to your wife


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Sorry to hear that. Know way too many of our brothers and sisters who had brutal parental figures. Its hard to help bring folks to the Lord who aint never had a loving Daddy on an earthly level. Only thing worse is the ladies who got sexually abused by authority figures. Real hard nut to crack on that deal. Hang in there.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

Smitty901 said:


> I am really busy ,I don't gave a dam what you do with that deer..... Do you know how much it cost to have a very large deer made into to all small size hot sticks.
> lesson leaner busy or not watch what you say to your wife


No, I have no idea how much that costs... but I expect it's somewhere between "You want HOW MUCH for processing???" and "I'm gonna kill her... this time, I'm REALLY going to kill her..."


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## Ripon (Dec 22, 2012)

They all lived. One had a broken sturnem though, I kind of felt bad for him, but he walked into it, two broken arms, one really messed up knee but I was on the ground with the PR24 at the time and its all I could reach, and I think #5 just messed his pants - not sure.



paraquack said:


> So Ripon, any of them live to tell the tale?


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

I cant believe any lazy folks who do not process their own deer. It works the same way on cows but on a lesser scale. Back in the old days if you catch it you clean it. Dont make me come up there. Thanks.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

bigwheel said:


> I cant believe any lazy folks who do not precess their own deer. It works the same way on cows but on a lesser scale. Dont make me come up there. Thanks.
> .


 Not about lazy way to busy at the time


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Only folks I ever met who was too busy to shuck out a deer was dumb yankmes. lol.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

I, too, have said way too many dumb things in my 64 years to remember enough of them to know which was the worst but I do remember making a remark about hating my mother once, I remember my dad raising his fist and picking myself up off the floor across the room. I stood up and looked him in the eye and I saw something I don't believe I ever saw before. It was fear - not of me but of what he could have done to me in that moment of rage. It was the only time I saw my dad in a rage. He told me about a week later that it was time for me to join the military. I moved out and signed up.

It felt like my dad learned an awful lot between then and when I turned 25. (I matured a great deal in those years.


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Ok..since this is boys day out with the guys day. I have returned very happy. So...the dumbest thing I ever said to this little guy who challenged me to wrestle up in Okiehoma one day. He was about 5'6 and 120. I sway naw.."I dont want to hurt ya." He say dont worry about it. I need some training to wrestle with big boys. So it was sorta like trying to wrestle a greased up Octopus. Pin three tenacles down and up come three more out of nowhere...so I was sure glad to live through that deal. Come to find out he was world class Olympic light weight who fixing to head off to Japan to kick some Sumo coola. I was cannon fodder...lol Thats all I know about that.


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## Auntie (Oct 4, 2014)

When I am grow up I am going to.....


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Yep have noticed the growing up thing can outpace the "going to" thing..good point.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

Salt-N-Pepper said:


> For me, there's no question what the single most stupid thing I have ever said in my life is.
> 
> I was 13, and my father had told me before I left for school to mow the grass when I got home. My father was a drinking man and a hard man, and he expected his word to be obeyed.
> 
> ...


My daughter has gotten into the habit of saying "I do what I want" college kid. I swear there must have been fire coming out of my ears. told her to do something. Don't remember the exact words, but she moved so fast, if you blinked, you missed it! She thought she was the big dog on the porch! Now she knows she is not. I may have raised my voice a bit.

Not from me, side tracked to dumbest things folks have said.


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

I give them little hellions a hiney swat or backand across the chops. They can learn new stuff.


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## Hemi45 (May 5, 2014)

I've said plenty of dumb shit in my life but generally without consequences. Things I've done are, however, quite a different story.


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

To FNG:
"Don't worry, those dinks can't hit anything with that mortar."


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Sounds a bit like our family war hero from Graham, TX back during the Big War. He had just helped get rid the pesky japs on some nameless atoll and was trying to chillax a bit so he decided to stick his feet out of the top of the tank to dedorize or what ever while he was enjoying a a Slow Poke sucker and reading a funny book. Well this crazed jap sniper snuck up close enough to shoot him in the foot. My Aunt said later that bullet in his foot prob kept him from getting killed. She was right I think. Jim Vernon Stone was his name. If anybody want to look him up.


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## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

The stupidest I ever said was 
"Watch this"


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

In Texas we would translate out into.."Yall hold my beer and watch this *hit."


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

you got five seconds to tell me why the hell you shouldn't be here, cause I got a pocket full of shells and I'm going to rally round the family, so while your running away get me some marshmallows beoch!!!!! Yep, that has to be it.


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## Chipper (Dec 22, 2012)

Last one I gotta go.


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## CourtSwagger (Jan 3, 2013)

I have realized that when I am about to tell my wife anything prefaced by the statement, "You know what I think?" that Hell is sure to follow. I have uttered that fateful phrase 4 times in our 16 years together, not once ending with a positive result.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

"Hey! Check this out!"


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## PatriotFlamethrower (Jan 10, 2015)

"So what's for dinner?"


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## CourtSwagger (Jan 3, 2013)

Is anyone else as eager for Slippy's response as I am?


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Yes..we are waiting for Slippys response with breathless anticipation. Thanks. I keep getting this Deja vue thing all over again which might lead a person to believe they might could guess what he might say. hmmm


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## Will2 (Mar 20, 2013)

"Are you sure, its loud?"


Younger kid asked to hear my cap gun in grade 6.
He insisted even after the caution on it being loud until the trigger was heard, then he squeeled, and I was the one who did wrong.

His mom was a crown attorney and she wanted him to be a pianist. No idea that it could injure hearing, I had been working rolls on the thing with no ill effect on myself.



Just wanted to do something for him, but the world gave evil instead.

Principal confiscated my cap gun for ever.


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

I spent quite a while pondering this one. I honestly don't regret much in my life to this point. I took my oath as a Naval enlisted man, don't regret that one at all. Told my beloved that I felt we should make this a "permanent thing" in 1985 and that has worked out well, Took an oath as a Police Officer in 1990 and set myself up OK, I asked my wife to give me two fine sons who have given me 4 exceptional Grandchildren so here goes:

The dumbest thing I ever said was: "Yeah, I'll take a puff off of that cigarette!" It took me 23 years to learn my folly. I quit in 2002 and haven't looked back.


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

When I was 7, I asked my friends older brother; "Don't you ever shave your legs??" 

When I was 18, I told a guy I was dating, that I would try anything twice...I got to eat 2 raw oysters...:armata_PDT_23:


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## kevincali (Nov 15, 2012)

I asked a cop once what would happen IF I DID have guns in my car. 

I was 16, just pulled over. He asked the usual any drugs,guns, dead bodies etc. I thought I was a smartazz. Ended up being strip searched. 

Cops thought I was over 18 because I had a fake ID. Cops got torn a new one lol because a parent or guardian wasn't present during the search/interrogation. 

Ah.....memories lol.


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## Stick (Sep 29, 2014)

I just sign right here?


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## GasholeWillie (Jul 4, 2014)

Without going into specifics, I have said a few things in my life that I would have kicked my own ass for now. If that makes sense. Needless to say I regret saying them today.


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## redhawk (May 7, 2014)

Probably the single worst thing I ever said was when I asked my ex wife to marry me...still paying for that one!


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## redhawk (May 7, 2014)

Probably the single worst thing I ever said was when I asked my ex wife to marry me...still paying for that one!


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

There's another one that I remember that was really bad, but I didn't know it at the time.

Spice was talking about something or other and I said "Would you please just shut up?"

I learned, in very uncertain and unambiguous terms, to never say the words "shut up" to her. Ever. And by ever, I mean EVER.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

To many stupid words, to many stupid acts. I shouldn't be alive.


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

YES. That single word has caused me more problems than any other. Soooooo many YESes that should have been NOs. =)


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## Pir8fan (Nov 16, 2012)

bigwheel said:


> Yep have noticed the growing up thing can outpace the "going to" thing..good point.


I thought the growing up part was the dumb thing said. I don't have a clue what I'm going to do but I'm not planning on growing up. People that grow up also grow old!


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## CourtSwagger (Jan 3, 2013)

Another statement that has gotten me in lots of trouble: Pretty much anything along the lines of, "Sure, I can do that. I saw a video on YouTube."


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## just mike (Jun 25, 2014)

At the age of 16 and full of spit and vinegar my mother ask where I was going as I opened the door to leave. Over to nunny's I replied, nunny's where's that she asked. Nun of your business was my response. I did not realize my mother could move that fast. After I picked myself up off the kitchen floor I told her VERY nicely that I was going over to Greg's house and would be back in time for supper if that was ok with her.


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

I've said too many dumb things in my life to remember them all. I can only remember the dumbest, most stupid thing I've ever heard, "Obama for President!"


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

paraquack said:


> I've said too many dumb things in my life to remember them all. I can only remember the dumbest, most stupid thing I've ever heard, "Obama for President!"


How about those old Obama/Hilary stickers we used to see when people were pushing for Hilary to be his veep?


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

Salt-N-Pepper said:


> There's another one that I remember that was really bad, but I didn't know it at the time.
> 
> Spice was talking about something or other and I said "Would you please just shut up?"
> 
> I learned, in very uncertain and unambiguous terms, to never say the words "shut up" to her. Ever. And by ever, I mean EVER.


Oh, man; you are one very brave man!

Here is another little thing to say when you are feeling to happy with life: "Get over it."

Men understand what it means and have little to know problem with it. I have found women are hardwired to think, "This man is ready to die at my hands!" when they hear that phrase.


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Denton said:


> Oh, man; you are one very brave man!
> 
> Here is another little thing to say when you are feeling to happy with life: "Get over it."
> 
> Men understand what it means and have little to know problem with it. I have found women are hardwired to think, "This man is ready to die at my hands!" when they hear that phrase.


I got irrationally angry just from reading that phrase!! lol


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

"Come with me and I will explain it to you."


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

"That didn't hurt."


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

Did you want it to?


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

"Okay, just one more."


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## 8301 (Nov 29, 2014)

I do.

But unlike Kauboy I'm serious. 

Best thing I ever did,,, Buy a second home and move out before selling her the old home.

Even better???? The bank that loaned her the cash to purchase the home from me foreclosed on her about a year later. 

She and I get along much better now that we don't live together; and yes there are no kids.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

over get it


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

When asked by several really drunk friends if I would spend the week with them in the Florida Panhandle in the summer of '81 I said, "hell yeah, count me in"...


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## Notsoyoung (Dec 2, 2013)

The first time I first met my future sister-in-law I told my future wife that her sister sure was hot. Forty years later I still get grief over that every now and then, although the years have been much kinder to my wife then to my sister-in-law.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Notsoyoung said:


> The first time I first met my future sister-in-law I told my future wife that her sister sure was hot. Forty years later I still get grief over that every now and then, although the years have been much kinder to my wife then to my sister-in-law.


Women have very long memories, do they not? I have been married over 20 years and every now and then she will quote me saying something stupid from back when we were dating. Really pisses me off. So, I just simply tell her to get over it. LOL


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## Rickity Plumber (Apr 10, 2015)

Dumbest thing I ever said could fill a book. However, my cousin said something that takes the cake to his dad (my uncle) when I was standing there. Remember the Judas Priest song, "You've Got Another Think Coming"?

Well my uncle said to do something to my cousin, although I can not remember it has been so long ago, I do remember the comeback my cousin said! OMG it was HILARIOUS! My cousin in his best Priest air guitar said, "You got another think coming". Before he could finish the "ing" from coming, he got a knuckle sandwich!


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Rickity Plumber said:


> Dumbest thing I ever said could fill a book. However, my cousin said something that takes the cake to his dad (my uncle) when I was standing there. Remember the Judas Priest song, "You've Got Another Think Coming"?
> 
> Well my uncle said to do something to my cousin, although I can not remember it has been so long ago, I do remember the comeback my cousin said! OMG it was HILARIOUS! My cousin in his best Priest air guitar said, "You got another think coming". Before he could finish the "ing" from coming, he got a knuckle sandwich!


OMG, That is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard.








Thanks


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

What is the male hot button statement? 
Ladies...Get over it!!
Men...????


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Mish said:


> What is the male hot button statement?
> Ladies...Get over it!!
> Men...????


For me it goes like this: "what's wrong baby?" Mrs: "nothing! "

What the hell? I ain't a mind reader!


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Arklatex said:


> For me it goes like this: "what's wrong baby?" Mrs: "nothing! "
> 
> What the hell? I ain't a mind reader!


LOL I got a good one...
"Is everything ok?" " It's FINE!"

I can't use that though!! My husband would just say...Ok, good!! lol


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Mish said:


> LOL I got a good one...
> "Is everything ok?" " It's FINE!"
> 
> I can't use that though!! My husband would just say...Ok, good!! lol


Yep. That one gets me too. I tried the ok good thing but it backfires on me...


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Arklatex said:


> Yep. That one gets me too. I tried the ok good thing but it backfires on me...


After 18 years of marriage, I've learned sometimes the best solution is just going to your separate corners and calling it a draw. lol


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Mish said:


> What is the male hot button statement?
> Ladies...Get over it!!
> Men...????


I fall for this one every time;

Her: Lets go out to eat tonight.
Me: OK, where do you want to go?
Her: I don't care, anywhere.
Me: How about the Wing place, there's a game on tonight?
Her: No, I don't want wings.
Me: OK, where then?
Her: I don't care, anywhere.
Me; Ok, how about the Mexican joint?
Her: No, I don't want Mexican 
Me; OK, how about a steak?
Her: No, no steak for me.
Me: C'mon make a decision
Her: I don't care, anywhere is fine.
Me...pulling into the Wing place: Here we are then.
Her: You never take me anywhere I want to go, you always get to make the decision.
Me: Waitress, bring me a double Jack on the rocks and 7 beers please. as I toss her my keys...


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

I get the same thing from my wife Slippy. Same damn thing. Must be a woman thing. I think they do it just to drive us crazy.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

wife's question- "so, do they jeans make my butt look fat."
my reply(not paying attention )- " sure, you bet'cha."


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Prepared One said:


> Women have very long memories, do they not? I have been married over 20 years and every now and then she will quote me saying something stupid from back when we were dating. Really pisses me off. So, I just simply tell her to get over it. LOL


Yep...have figured out ladies hold grudges much longer than elephants.


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## PatriotFlamethrower (Jan 10, 2015)

"So why don't we move in together?" :hopelessness:


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Mish said:


> LOL I got a good one...
> "Is everything ok?" " It's FINE!"
> 
> I can't use that though!! My husband would just say...Ok, good!! lol


Dangit! I got pissed off rereading your post!

Question for you gals: Do yall have some secret playbook where this stuff comes from? I get the same mess slippy posted too! WTF? Gotta be the ladies mags!


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Lol Yes!! They pull us out of class in high school and train us.


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

Arklatex said:


> Dangit! I got pissed off rereading your post!
> 
> Question for you gals: Do yall have some secret playbook where this stuff comes from? I get the same mess slippy posted too! WTF? Gotta be the ladies mags!


I don't know what your talking about. I'm an agreeable sort of woman. I agreed to divorce my first 2 husbands...:biggrin-new:


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## PatriotFlamethrower (Jan 10, 2015)

Arklatex said:


> Dangit! I got pissed off rereading your post!
> 
> Question for you gals: Do yall have some secret playbook where this stuff comes from? I get the same mess slippy posted too! WTF? Gotta be the ladies mags!


Women watch "The View" and "Ellen Degenerate" every day. That's where they get their messed up ideas. :armata_PDT_12:


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## MaterielGeneral (Jan 27, 2015)

It was when I said " I do".


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## Piratesailor (Nov 9, 2012)

I do...

not kidding... 

I did...


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

goodbye, pussy cat, ill talk to you tomorrow.
i shouldnt have gotten off the phone. i should have trusted that uneasy feeling i had.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Prepared One said:


> I get e same thing from my wife Slippy. Same damn thing. Must be a woman thing. I think they do it just to drive us crazy.


Yes they do...


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