# Gray Woman tactics



## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

OK, guys, We all know that assuming a "gray man" profile is a survival skill that enables one to blend in and avoid being a target. We also know that in times of war and civil unrest, women are raped, stolen, and basically turned into a marketable commodity. I've watched as many of you have joked around about having women in your bunkers, and how having women are part of your survival strategy. All in good fun from normal guys, but we know violent men have other intentions. Here is my question:

What are ways that a woman can assume a "gray woman" profile when SHTF and the vandal hoards are looting, robbing, and raping? What would be ways that my daughters and I can "blend in" and become invisible? What would cause men to look another way and not notice an attractive young woman in their midst? Or should women just go underground? I fully intend to "fly under the radar" when SHTF, to avoid confrontation and making myself and daughters a target. Yes, I have firearms and will defend to the death, but I don't have brawn on my side. I have to use smarts. Brainstorm for me, please. It's a serious question. What would you tell your wives and girlfirends, especially if you were not there to protect them or they had to get home on their own?


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## GTGallop (Nov 11, 2012)

I LOVE the question you posed. Never thought of that.

I would dress my female shelterees as men. Have them butched out. Keep them traveling in pairs or with men.


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## dsdmmat (Nov 9, 2012)

If you are not in a "normal community" when SHTF you are going to be a victim if you are caught out in the open by the maurauders. 

What do I tell my daughter and wife? Stay invisable, dress like a man, do not be afraid to strike first, and always be armed.


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## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

I especially worry about my girls who may have to get home on their own through town. They have their GHBs, but do not carry firearms. I guess the dressing down and ball caps would be the first thing for them to do. One of the girls can move like a man, but the other one is a princess.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

Remove from perception those things that attract attention. Short hair, bound breasts, Sloppy clothes that fit loosely and work boots.

Basically you will want to hide the feminine. work gloves to hide the hands and some dirt or mud on the face to hide the lack of beard, and above all else - stay alert. Make eye contact to show you recognise a possible threat, be aware of corners of buildings where someone could be waiting and turn to face a group before they are ready to attack. Most often a nod of the head is enough to show that you are ready.


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## GTGallop (Nov 11, 2012)

Haircuts for sure!


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## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

Not trying to be rude here but keep your mouth shut. Many women in today's society like to have an opinion on everything. It's currently a free country so have at it. But if shtf and things turn hostile that opinion can get you targeted or killed. I think flying under the radar will be a good strategy for everyone but especially for the ladies and children.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

Short hair, baggy camo clothes and black combat boots, and an AR.
My real answer is probably clothing and perception. Whatever you see as not being sexy go with it. Bad camo, like real tree sweats baggy of course. Then cheap brown Walmart boots. Disheveled and dirty looking.


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## Spice (Dec 21, 2014)

I think the strategy so useful today will still be useful. Walk like you own the place and know exactly where you're going. Make it clear you're noticing people you pass, but don't put an Extra hurry on. Don't initiate contact with people who might be predatory, but when you do interact: Stand erect and look directly at people when you talk to them. Have a hand on a weapon, or in a bag where you might have a weapon in hand already.

Many of these are my usual habits, and I've noticed I get less flack of all descriptions than many other women. I suspect part of it is that I don't put out any vibe of *prey*.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Dress the women in dark trousers, white short sleeve shirts, a conservative tie and a 10 speed bike. People will think they are Mormons on mission and avoid them? 

(No offense meant to any of my Mormon friends, you know I love you knucleheads!)


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## Auntie (Oct 4, 2014)

In addition to the other things mentioned I would suggest nerdy mens sunglasses and an ace bandage wrapped around the chest to stop the bouncing.


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## darsk20 (Jun 1, 2015)

Second PaulS remarks.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Just brainstorming...


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

I can't think of a good way to answer this without my words sounding sexists.
This preface is to explain that I mean no offense by the words I'm going to choose.
This will get primal. I apologize ahead of time.

Physically, average women are inferior to average men. This is simply physiological, and not within the realm of our control.
Mentally, average women are less prone to violence than average men. This is also physiological, and while controllable to some degree, not fully so.
This creates an imbalance when a society turns rough. When all the rounded off corners are now sharp and dangerous, when the gloves of civility have been removed, women are mistreated because they cannot physically defend themselves from a man.
This is bad in ALL meanings of the word.
It should NOT be this way, but invariably it is. All around the world, we see it.
You MUST accept these things as true before trying to decide how to survive it. Otherwise, you won't survive it.
As a woman, you will have only two options in a world that has turned to hell.
Be feminine, and accept that you will be mistreated, but try to use it to your advantage when possible.
Be masculine, conceal your femininity, and do things you normally would not do. (ie. violent things)
Thinking you can walk somewhere in the middle is a misconception. To do so, you would require a large support group of completely trustworthy men who can defend you indefinitely. Good luck with that.
When things get bad, men get primal. It's in our blood. 
I can only speak for myself, but there are times when tearing a man to shreds with my bare hands is the only thing that fills my mind, and generally for no justifiable reason. I control this, as a civil society demands it. Others can't, and they fill our prisons and death row wards.
When the veil of civility is lifted, this will become more apparent. Kind men you know now will NOT be the same men after a protracted SHTF scenario.
I have a daughter. Luckily, she is a tomboy and would likely accept the transition to being a boy in public. She still loves her girl stuff, but she likes the dirt, loves bugs, has her own gun, and just likes boy stuff. My wife might be a different story. She would not appreciate being anything less than a woman. That will prove difficult to deal with. Her primary option would be a high powered firearm.
If we can agree on anything, we can agree that a 100lb woman with a .357 is at least equal to a 350lb man with anything.
Any women in your group will need to learn to shoot, and not only shoot, but also cause severe and tremendous pain to any attacker that gets close enough.
I'm not talking about a kick to the jewels. I'm talking about ripping out eyes from their sockets, driving knitting needles through the temple, severing major arteries with one slice, and other things I'll leave for you to imagine.(remember, I said you'd need to do violent things)
A man trying to rape you is only going to be more pissed off if you kick him.
You tear out his eye, he leaves you alone. Period.
There won't be any law enforcement to lock him up so he won't try again. YOU will be the one that ensures he never tries again.

It boils my blood to think how awful some men are. It's even worse to think about how my wife or daughter would be treated.
I hope nothing ever happens, but I will fight until I'm dead before I let something happen to them.
The reason is selfish... I don't want to know it happened.


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## GTGallop (Nov 11, 2012)

Slippy said:


> Paint A big ole herpes cold sore on the lip and have them constantly scratching their nether-regions might work too.
> 
> Just brainstorming...


I was going to suggest marking their panties with "Syphilis Positive" as a last ditch defense.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

Have them gain lots of weight.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

The guys that women will have to avoid or fight might already have any of the STDs out there. A canker sore is not going to bother them one bit. 
The best way to win is not to have to fight. (the Art of War) some women will use their gender to get what they want but they are not likely to get what they need. The "woman in distress" will be a tactic that is employed to catch "do gooders" to rob and kill them. This is both a problem for the woman and for others who really want to help.

It is best to be as invisible as you can (men and women) and vigilant at all times in public.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

don't dress like a slut? 
were baggy clothes and stuff show little or no skin or shape. travel in groups 3 or more most guys will not jack with a female if there are witnesses, or some one to smoke them when they are trying to get some.


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## Dirk Pitt (Apr 21, 2015)

I haven't seen this one yet, clip all the fingernails, strip all nail polish, no rings, bracelets of any type, no Jewelry of ANY type, ear rings, piercings etc. Cut or stuff long hair into a hat, dirty the hands, face etc. Everything that makes a girl a girl. Also get rid or any perfume, what you have on will wear off and for heavens sake don't put any more on. Put a few drops of Hoppes No. 9 on, not kidding that is a different odor.


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## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

Slippy said:


> Dress the women in dark trousers, white short sleeve shirts, a conservative tie and a 10 speed bike. People will think they are Mormons on mission and avoid them?


The idea of disguise is a good one. People believe what their minds tell them. Perhaps even dressing in baggy jeans and a dark hoodie might give the impression of gang members and toughness.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

learn awareness -be coconscious of your surroundings and what is going on around you at all times( this is not just for gals but guys too)
and learn to develop your senses it takes a little time but once done you will know if someone has even entered you home when your away. laugh if you want i got nothing to loose.


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## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

James m said:


> Have them gain lots of weight.


Physical unattractiveness does not deter a rapist. 80 year old nuns have been raped, and an overweight woman is attractive to some men anyway. It is the very fact of being female that is dangerous.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

RNprepper said:


> The idea of disguise is a good one. People believe what their minds tell them. Perhaps even dressing in baggy jeans and a dark hoodie might give the impression of gang members and toughness.


No gangland dress - it could make you a target if you are in the wrong place. Just disappear into the background. You don't want to look tough just not obvious in any way.


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

Dirk Pitt said:


> Put a few drops of Hoppes No. 9 on, not kidding that is a different odor.


Careful, to some of us, this smell is enticing. 
If you smell like you've been cleaning a gun, I *will* notice you.


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## RNprepper (Apr 5, 2014)

Kauboy, I appreciate your comments. They are all true. Women are violated in very conflict. I took my girls to a basic handgun course. They did fine, but don't want to carry a gun. I might get them out to practice once in a while, but in all honestly, if they carried firearms, the weapons would be taken and used against them. Their best usefulness in a conflict would be to reload for the rest of us. I like all the ideas. There are some good ones. I need to talk this over with the girls. Their greatest risk is if they get caught away from home when SHTF. Besides routes, communication, and basic survival gear, they need to know how to redress themselves to look as "gray man" as possible while they hoof it home. Ball cap and hoodie would help a lot, I think, but not in summer.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

On a side note, I'm noticing too many gray people types. It's becoming too obvious. Its not blending in anymore. Its advertising I have a gun. Which can be good or bad, go with the flow.


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

James m said:


> On a side note, I'm noticing too many gray people types. It's becoming too obvious. Its not blending in anymore. Its advertising I have a gun. Which can be good or bad, go with the flow.


Haha, so it isn't just me!
FYI folks, cargo pants, instructor belts, and a Blackhawk ball cap are NOT "grey man" attire.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

*What Happens If You Are Discovered?*

I am not sure that you can blend in, you can camouflage that you are a woman, and that is about it. Approach it this way, assume that you will be discovered. Then what?
You cannot hide your stature, women are noticeably smaller than men. Do all that you can to hide yourself, but be armed, with knives at all times.
Get yourself and your daughters some daggers, like this one from Cold Steel. They hang around the neck, and they would be fearsome if needed.
Do not suppose that this is not enough knife, it will get them off of you, until you can get to your gun.
View attachment 11472
View attachment 11473


This is an M-Tech dagger, it is less than 10 bucks on Amazon. You can wear this around your neck or drop it in your pocket. It has a 3" blade and it's a respectable weapon.
View attachment 11499

*Mtech MT2014OR Knives Fixed Knife Neck Knife 6 1/4" Overall 3" Black Finish 4*

I am taking it for granted that you will have a gun somewhere, maybe not on you though.

*"What are ways that a woman can assume a "gray woman" profile when SHTF and the vandal hoards are looting, robbing, and raping?*"
I copied a sentence from your entry, and I would suggest that you buy some camo outfits, in case you have to hide in the woods.

*Alpenflage*
View attachment 11500
*MARPAT Night Camo.*
View attachment 11501


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Cut their hair and dress them in men's clothes for starters. Hide the fact that you are female as much as possible. Arm yourself and your girls. Women will not fair well on their own and out in the open. Especially in the beginning. Keep them close.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

On the disguise, instead of trying to look like a man, try to look like a young boy because of stature. Or a teenager. Travel in groups.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

All this good advice from men... I think we are giving away too much information about ourselves here... 

Primarily be aware of everything around you, escape routes, likely hazards, and yes, if you can, BE ARMED. A knife might be good but for women a gun is better. I know you said you carry but your daughters choose not to. Keep some guns handy because that could change with one bad encounter.


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

Carol on the walking dead is probably an accurate depiction.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

I can't decide to arm them to the teeth and show it, or look like a street person pushing a shopping cart.


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

csi-tech said:


> Carol on the walking dead is probably an accurate depiction.


Actually, that *IS* an excellent example.
They even played it up more when the mustachioed prisoner said he thought she was a lesbian.

That character reflects what I said earlier. She was willing to do violent things to ensure her safety.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

James m said:


> On the disguise, instead of trying to look like a man, try to look like a young boy because of stature. Or a teenager. Travel in groups.


and stay away from churches


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

if the yare caught out in a shtf best to stay together in a group and keep moving don't stop for nothing until they get to you RN then load the minigun/Vulcan on a automated gun turret and set it on terminate anything that moves in a 360 except you guys.


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## Jakthesoldier (Feb 1, 2015)

History records women who intentionally scarred their faces to avoid the attentions of men.


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## OctopusPrime (Dec 2, 2014)

Teach them how to kill with speed, cunning, and power. Teach them how to take pain and deal it out. Teach them when to retreat and when and where to attack. Teach them to stay together to fight. Arm them. When that is accomplished teach them to be shadows and encourage them to stay in the shade.


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## OctopusPrime (Dec 2, 2014)

You could have them wear football pads to increase their size artificially under a robe. The pads may also change the way they walk...I can usually tell the difference by movement but altering movement and changing the visual are important.


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## OctopusPrime (Dec 2, 2014)

My girlfriend is very girly so I worry about the same thing..I have been trying to get her to take self defense classes with me to no success. I am big enough to protect her and willing to do anything for her but it is a legislate worry....great question


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

it is hard trying to convince someone who is in the "it can't happen to me" mindset - FEAR =False Explanation of Actual Reality usually comes to mind.


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## Jakthesoldier (Feb 1, 2015)

Seriously though, I agree with the training. Learn to defend yourself first, then use strength in numbers. It can help to embed yourself with a group of "hard target" men that are trustworthy. Makes you look protected. 

Lone wolf style, or all female groups have options, but I can't imagine too many. Staying unseen, fem fatal, kuniochi, making yourself appear sick, disease ridden, or just plain ugly/deformed.


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

Staying at home, keeping a low profile helps. No strategy is iron clad. Play the percentages and be armed.


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

There is a fictional book series known as the tomorrow series (starts with tomorrow when the war began... You might have hard it)

The last book in the series the group was captured and living in a pow camp ... One of the side stories was women were staying dirty, even going to the extremes of cow manure as a repellent...

I haven't given it much thought, but the concept is the same as a bloke trying to blend in, hide identifiable features, try and hide the shape, but wouldn't go too overboard, its a balance, trying too hard can also make you stand out....

No need to give up being a woman, you womenly types take up more than 50% of the population (add the "transgender" popularity then it goes up more... Hey that's a idea, hide a strap on in your panties... Yep crude but funny) 

My point, well I need to give it more thought, but a women to blend in a crowd, maybe alot easier looking like a woman so the crowd looks like a crowd of refugees.... Than a murder gang.. Needs more thought..... Great topic


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## alexus (May 31, 2015)

I've been mistaken for a man dressed in my gardening gear. I always wear comfy old, baggy clothes. a baseball cap and work boots. Of course if I need to grab something from the hardware store I don't usually stop to clean up first. However, I'm taller than average and not much of a girly girl so this works for me.

I think the key would be for the girls to get home ASAP in a SHTF situation. I would hope they would have a few hours before things got too bad (depends where you live I guess). My daughter knows the scenarios where she needs to come home regardless of what well meaning authority figures are telling her. I advise her to keep her head up and have something protruding from between her fingers/knuckles like a key. Never underestimate confidence. Of course she has also been instructed to find her brother and the two walk home together.

To be honest though I haven't thought beyond the immediate desire that my children get home safe. Good question, now I'm thinking!


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

what if there was no home to get home too?


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## darsk20 (Jun 1, 2015)

Medic33 said:


> what if there was no home to get home too?


You just had to go there, but good point. Been working through that line of thinking with my wife.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Open carry. Your disguise will be seen through quickly IMO. Especially by thugs. If they see a gal with a shotgun or rifle who has a don't mess with me look on her face they will pick an easier target. Also travel in a group if at all possible.


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

As a man, I can't speak to what would be worse for a woman, rape or death, but assuming you could never be completely safe from rape, you could fashion a device like the Rape-aXe.
Heaven forbid it would ever be needed, but as a last chance to avoid the ordeal, it *could* help.

I feel wrong even suggesting this.
This could be highly offensive to women.
It almost sounds like I'm advocating for just accepting the inevitable, but taking a bite at the worst moment.
I'm not advocating that any woman accept rape as inevitable. Kill the SOB before that happens.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

This post is mostly for the guys:

Rape is a robbery of a persons most precious asset. It is the forceful theft of the power to control their own body and destiny.
Although it may be sexual in context the rape is about power. If one accepts the loss it is difficult to ever feel like you have the power to control your life. Even making a "simple" decision becomes a daunting task.
This is why it is so difficult to overcome. Even a loving touch can bring back that feeling of not having control - not having the power to stop it.

For a spouse it is an insidious evil in his mind. Did she really fight - or was it something she wanted (at some level) to happen... Did she act seductively? Was her wardrobe suggestive? Is it MY fault? Did I not satisfy her?
All those things run through a man's mind when his wife or girlfriend is raped. There is also the worst thought (in my book anyway); She should have fought harder - even if it killed her - if she hadn't given in...

The biggest problem is that few people understand what rape is. (Most women fantasize about forced sexual pleasure) (men fantasize about forcing sexual pleasure) Real rape is completely void of caring about the one being raped. The goal is to force her, with violence or the threat of violence to her or the ones she loves, to submit to being used. Not used as a person but as a thing - a toy - or an animal. 

Rapists study their victims - they look for women with guilt, low self esteem, they look for victims. Looks don't play a big role here and neither does the clothes that the woman is wearing. (besides that the clothes should be easy to circumvent) They look for someone they can build fear in - panic - ridicule, and finally someone who will give up.

Women always fight - always. It is instinctive. It is also very often ineffective. They are beaten, battered, and humiliated until they have no strength left. Sometimes her children are threatened or her man (husband or boy friend) is threatened. Most women will suffer anything to protect the ones they love - especially their children. That is what rape is - suffering the loss of who you are.

If you can understand that then helping a woman to recover is easier. You start by letting her make choices. Don't tell her what you will do, ask what she wants to do. Build her confidence in herself back up. Be there for her but don't "do" for her. She needs to learn that she can do "it" (whatever 'IT' is). Teach her that she has her power - that she can get beyond this. It will take time because the injury is deep - and it is common for a spouse to resent what rape has done to the relationship but you have to build a whole new relationship with a whole new person. You have to help her build the person she will be. (I hope)

More often than not a rape breaks relationships up - partly because of a lack of understanding and partly because of the guilt (of both the woman and the man). 


OK, I now return you to your normally scheduled discussion.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

hey paul did you quote that from a text book? or make it up on the fly? just joking!!!!
just reading that put flames in my eyes I can stand when people abuse another person just because they can, and it really fires me up when they premeditate it and stalk the person.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

sorry should read can't stand it when
my keyboard must be f'd up been doing that a lot lately


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

No, I didn't quote from a book. I have counselled rape victims and was sexually abused by a stranger when I was very young. I was never a victim though so I didn't have as hard a time recovering from it. My dad couldn't deal with it and told me I was going to hell. He did the best he could but I have learned a lot. 

I was going to delete that but I decided I should leave it.


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## CWOLDOJAX (Sep 5, 2013)

Great question and topic.
Lots of great suggestions.

The big variable is the type of SHTF, for me.

I work downtown, and there more sizes, shapes, types of women than one might see at wally world.
Early into the SHTF rush to get home, the OPs daughters are way ahead by having GHBs. 
Get home first. Get out of downtown and over one of our six bridges. They will be very gray during that time. 
After that first 3-4 hours of exodus I suspect one must figure out who fit the categories of sheepdogs, shepherds, and sheep.

I must say that clothing will not change their figure anymore than a pot-bellied, bow-legged, pie-eating champion could look like a lady. 

I great place to start is in the wisdom RNprepper has in another thread about overcoming mental hurdles.


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