# How to deal with an enemy in my own home?



## imautoparts (Jan 5, 2014)

Hi all,

Thanks for helping me get through the 'Polar Express' - negative 18F and no damage thanks to this forum.

Now I've got another problem. I took in the son (age 28) of my roommate. (My wife and I are alone in a large home). We let him stay rent-free in our basement. He was supposed to 'get on his feet' quickly, but although he got a job right away in August, he quit due to cold weather in November and just lounges around the house.

He is on parole for a pot conviction, but despite that - and the fact that most jobs piss test, he smokes pot all the time. He also has begun stealing small items and was caught red handed stealing from his Dad last week.

I ordered him off the property.

Yesterday I returned home to discover he had found an unlocked door and come in when nobody, not even his Dad was here.

I called the police. They say that since he has stayed over a week and has a library card and gets mail at my address I have to wait 30 days to evict him; and we cannot prevent him from breaking in. They say he has full rights of residency even though he was just a guest AND he's been using drugs and stealing.

I'm calling his Parole Officer Monday, but this sucks.


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## Pir8fan (Nov 16, 2012)

I'd call the police first. Let them arrest him. That would get him out.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

file a missing things/ theft report. parole will take care of the rest. why in the heck would a prepper allow for a parole person to be at the residence. since it is his residence of record, it can be searched at any time with out warrant. he cannot be around fire arms either (assuming you have a firearm- I assume most preppers do). 

now I will put my accredited property manager hat on. anytime you bring some one in, you now have a tenant. even if you are just being nice. even if he is scooped up and sent back to jail for violations, you still have to go through the eviction or move out process to change the locks as legally it is his residence. and let me tell you its cheaper to pay 1st and last and an extra months rent for him to get the hell out and establish residency elsewhere.

if you have pot and firearms under the same roof... when you have firearms you are governed by state and fed laws. so you/he could be up for felony possession of firearms during the commission of a crime (possession of pot). even if you are not the one in possession of the pot or if said pot smoker is not in possession of the gun. the charges would also read.. felony possession of drugs- (even for a joint) because any possession is a felony when there is a firearm a round.
and and you need to understand this. depends on how your state would like to handle it. know who your friends and subjects of good will are. you may be better off to pay to move his ass and change the locks. this is a cost I would suggest you and your tenant share-. why you? because you wanted to play landlord- why the roommate/tenant? have losers for kids cost.


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## poriggity (May 12, 2013)

shotlady said:


> file a missing things/ theft report. parole will take care of the rest. why in the heck would a prepper allow for a parole person to be at the residence. since it is his residence of record, it can be searched at any time. he cannot be a round fire arms either.
> 
> now I will put my accredited property manager hat on. anytime you bring some one in, you now have a tenant. even if you are just being nice. even if he is scooped up and sent back to jail for violations, you still have to go through the eviction or move out process to change the locks as legally it is his residence. and let me tell you its cheaper to pay 1st and last and an extra months rent for him to get the hell out and establish residency elsewhere.
> 
> if you have pot and firearms under the same roof... when you have firearms you are governed by state and fed laws. so you/he could be up for felony possession of firearms during the commission of a crime even if you are not the one in possession of the pot or if said pot smoker is not in possession of the gun. you need to understand this. depends on how your state would like to handle it. know who your friends and subjects of good will are. you may be better off to pay to move his ass and change the locks.


This, why would you, as a preppers, allow a convicted Peron under your roof, ever?


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Wow, I'm surprised you can't have him removed. I would get it documented that you want to evict him. Get the paperwork started right away. Meanwhile, hide all your valuables!!


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

In the Superman movie (the one with Christopher Reeves), Superman created a strong wind and blew the earth causing it to spin backwards thus going back in time. After you are back in time and you are about to make the decision to let this scumbag live in your home, say NO. Remember to use this word anytime a drug addict asks you for anything!

Seriously, have a man to man talk with him and make it clear that he is not welcome in your home. Have the biggest, baddest, most trust worthy friends that you know be there with you as you have this man to man talk. Get him to "voluntarily" sign a document that he agrees to vacate your home immediately. Video him signing the agreement. After he leaves, call the police again and let them know that he voluntarily agreed to sign the document that he is vacating your home on his own and you want a Court Restraining Order. 

This last sentence is very important....Do not video the process leading up the point of him signing the agreement, especially the part where you use a bucket of water, a towel and a decline bench. :twisted:


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

eviction brings up a lot of hate. I wouldn't pull that unless last resort when you have to share a roof. things can get really dangerous and bad for up to 6 months, sometimes longer. its cheaper, cleaner, easier to pay for him to have a couple of months elsewhere. honest. you have to sleep and go to work. things can get really sideways really easily.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

Slippy said:


> In the Superman movie (the one with Christopher Reeves), Superman created a strong wind and blew the earth causing it to spin backwards thus going back in time. After you are back in time and you are about to make the decision to let this scumbag live in your home, say NO. Remember to use this word anytime a drug addict asks you for anything!
> 
> Seriously, have a man to man talk with him and make it clear that he is not welcome in your home. Have the biggest, baddest, most trust worthy friends that you know be there with you as you have this man to man talk. Get him to "voluntarily" sign a document that he agrees to vacate your home immediately. Video him signing the agreement. After he leaves, call the police again and let them know that he voluntarily agreed to sign the document that he is vacating your home on his own and you want a Court Restraining Order.
> 
> This last sentence is very important....Do not video the process leading up the point of him signing the agreement. :twisted:


easy there, the laws are written where he could lose his house for harassing a tenant and having them sign things under duress. additionally if a tenant doesn't move out after notice, then you have to begin the eviction process. do not threaten, intimidate in any way. your friends have to leave to go back to their house at some point. also he could bring over his friends and really do a number back. you cannot restrict your tenant from having guests. and these guests will be under your roof, with your wife. you gotta sleep sometime, buddy. being a home owner ill assume you plan to be there a long time. could put you in a position several yrs down the road some people wait for the iron to get cold before they strike.

you and the kid's pa need to come up with some money and get this dingleberry a new residence of address.


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

I feel sorry for you. My neighbor went thru the same BS with her daughter's boy friend. Couldn't get rid of him... Finally a laptop went missing. LEOs found it at a pawn shop and guess who pawned it and was on tape. BYE BYE. Of course now daughter hates mom even more. 

I can only assume that you have a good heart and will learn from this experience. I know I did. Ya, I was dumb too.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

shotlady said:


> easy there, the laws are written where he could lose his house for harassing a tenant and having them sign things under duress. additionally if a tenant doesn't move out after notice, then you have to begin the eviction process. do not threaten, intimidate in any way. your friends have to leave to go back to their house at some point. also he could bring over his friends and really do a number back. you cannot restrict your from having tenants guests. and these guests will be under your roof, with your wife. you gotta sleep sometime, buddy.
> 
> you and the kid's pa need to come up with some money and get this dingleberry a new residence of address.


I'm just kidding shotlady, I don't want you to think ill of me...

hee hee hee :twisted:


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

nope i don't think ill of you not one bit. I have been on the firing line of property and rental management for over 20 yrs. I have seen damn near everything. good people turn into monsters protecting a roof over their head. some people will do and say anything when protecting the roof over their head. some people I thought would be an easy ride turned into absolute night mares.

**just so you know im not kicking the kid in the pants for being a toker. but for being a toker under those circumstances. I don't think it should be illegal. I smoked doobage from time to time for many yrs. I felt I earned the right to do so. my bills were paid, my kids bills were paid, I exercised 3x a week, my home was clean, my employer was well pleased with my performance and my chores were done and I used discretion. some one else not producing, smoking doobage in my home wouldn't go over well with me. I am not prohibited by circumstances or law from doing so. I have never even had a parking ticket. I observe posted signs.
its not for the program I run now- there's a time and place for everything. I laid it down because I believe that god and life were trying to give me things but I wasn't in a place to recieve them.. ie pass a drug test for a better gig/ attract a decent mate. there are some people that can follow a strict program and smoke a joint from time to time instead of have a cocktail from time to time. it is important to not overdo pot or alcohol. any other "drug" im not keen on. again the roof over my head was mine, I wasn't under someone else's roof and didn't have my kids around.**


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## imautoparts (Jan 5, 2014)

shotlady said:


> file a missing things/ theft report. parole will take care of the rest. why in the heck would a prepper allow for a parole person to be at the residence. since it is his residence of record, it can be searched at any time with out warrant. he cannot be around fire arms either (assuming you have a firearm- I assume most preppers do).
> 
> now I will put my accredited property manager hat on. anytime you bring some one in, you now have a tenant. even if you are just being nice. even if he is scooped up and sent back to jail for violations, you still have to go through the eviction or move out process to change the locks as legally it is his residence. and let me tell you its cheaper to pay 1st and last and an extra months rent for him to get the hell out and establish residency elsewhere.
> 
> ...


You have some very good questions. Actually, both the question about firearms and the 'why' of welcoming him into our home are both the same answer. My wife and I both have manageable but serious mental illness - and because we both have had 'bad' years, we try to help anyone we can in any way we can. I've had to run off a couple of people over the years, but we never had a problem with someone trying to force their way back in like this numskull.

We'll make that theft report if we don't get immediate satisfaction from his Parole Officer.

Regarding guns, I'm confined to high-velocity pellets and bows/arrows. Mentally ill people who have ever been hospitalized are not allowed to possess or own firearms of any kind.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

shotlady said:


> nope i don't think ill of you not one bit. I have been on the firing line of property and rental management for over 20 yrs. I have seen damn near everything. good people turn into monsters protecting a roof over their head. some people will do and say anything when protecting the roof over their head. some people I thought would be an easy ride turned into absolute night mares.
> 
> **I want to be clear my stance on pot- I don't think it should be illegal. I smoked doobage from time to time for about 20 yrs. I earned the right to do so. my bills were paid, my kids bills were paid, I exercised 3x a week, my home was clean, my employer was well pleased with my performance and my chores were done and I used discretion.
> its not for the program I run now- there's a time and place for everything. I quit because I believe that god and life were trying to give me things but I wasn't in a place to recieve them.. ie pass a drug test for a better gig/ attract a decent mate. there are some people that can follow a strict program and smoke a joint instead of have a cocktail. it is important to not overdo pot or alcohol. any other "drug" im not keen on. I traded pot for my guns. I was astutely aware the law wouldn't be kind on me enjoying both. again the roof over my head was mine, I wasn't under someone else's roof and didn't have my kids around.**


I haven't heard the word "doobage" in a while! :razz:

I was having the pot conversation with my two sons recently and my libertarian side tends to agree with you. I see it as a Property Rights Issue... if you want to cultivate some cannabis for your own use, I think you should have the right to do so. 

But I also know that many addicts will lie and steal. I'm not talking about the responsible adult who is a recreational user of Marijuana.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

having also been a psych nurse, I urge you to not engage in any side shows that may drag you down. like going hiking and you reach down to pull someone up, instead they pull you down. Your home has a lot to do with mental health and stability. to have a bad situation under your roof can take you places you have fought so hard to stay out of. protect your psychy and home at all costs. It is not for people to understand you. it is for you to understand you. So let people think you are uncaring, and volunteer at a pet adoption center or something. this way when you are scooping shit out of the gutter, you leave it in some one else's trash can... but a situation like this could upset a fragile balance you and your wife enjoy.

this is a matter of a young man not learning consequences and wanting to clean his life up and inflicting his bs on you. a lot of what some people would call mental illness is a thinking problem, there are true chemical imbalances, but most off people are off because of their thinking.


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## imautoparts (Jan 5, 2014)

Thanks for all the moral (and immoral) support. 

I'm pretty confident his Parole Officer will resolve this - in fact his Dad just called and said that Mason (the numskull) was screaming that my wife and I had already called his PO because he went to Florida without permission.

It wasn't us - so obviously multiple complaints are coming in for this man. Good.

I'm assuming it is likely his girlfriend's family - he stayed over there as much as he lived here.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

This kid smells like trouble, going to fl, smoking doobage, not taking advantage of the chance to pull him self up by the boot straps to become a person of excellence. seems to me if he thinks you did call parole officer he should move out quietly and not rock the boat. but that would be too humane for you and him. I cant imagine standing by and letting my kid do this to someone or even himself with out me punching him in the ****ing head. blows my mind. id stomp my kids in a hot minute if they were doing this to someone. not only on the premise of what anyone else deserves, but how they deserve to speak about themselves.


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## Arizona Infidel (Oct 5, 2013)

shotlady said:


> file a missing things/ theft report. parole will take care of the rest. why in the heck would a prepper allow for a parole person to be at the residence. since it is his residence of record, it can be searched at any time with out warrant. he cannot be around fire arms either (assuming you have a firearm- I assume most preppers do).
> 
> now I will put my accredited property manager hat on. anytime you bring some one in, you now have a tenant. even if you are just being nice. even if he is scooped up and sent back to jail for violations, you still have to go through the eviction or move out process to change the locks as legally it is his residence. and let me tell you its cheaper to pay 1st and last and an extra months rent for him to get the hell out and establish residency elsewhere.
> 
> ...





shotlady said:


> eviction brings up a lot of hate. I wouldn't pull that unless last resort when you have to share a roof. things can get really dangerous and bad for up to 6 months, sometimes longer. its cheaper, cleaner, easier to pay for him to have a couple of months elsewhere. honest. you have to sleep and go to work. things can get really sideways really easily.





shotlady said:


> easy there, the laws are written where he could lose his house for harassing a tenant and having them sign things under duress. additionally if a tenant doesn't move out after notice, then you have to begin the eviction process. do not threaten, intimidate in any way. your friends have to leave to go back to their house at some point. also he could bring over his friends and really do a number back. you cannot restrict your tenant from having guests. and these guests will be under your roof, with your wife. you gotta sleep sometime, buddy. being a home owner ill assume you plan to be there a long time. could put you in a position several yrs down the road some people wait for the iron to get cold before they strike.
> 
> you and the kid's pa need to come up with some money and get this dingleberry a new residence of address.


I wouldn't count on this information. California and LA County and LA laws are much different from the rest of the world. Even Gary Indiana.
Spend a couple hindered bucks and get some local legal advice.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

I know a guy who knows a guy named Crazy Vinnie. Crazy Vinnie supposedly says, "Give me a boat, a vat of acid and the Atlantic Ocean and I'll solve anybody's problem."


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## PrepConsultant (Aug 28, 2012)

It was the same in Florida. As long as you let someone stay over and they had a toothbrush and mail. You have to go thru the eviction process which can take up to a year if he knows how to work the system. I had someone like that stay with me for a bit. I started the eviction process and I tried to make sure there was always someone at the house so he wouldn't steal us blind one day. Anyway, he had a pain pill and pot habit. I waited till I knew he had some stuff onhim and called the cops when he left the house. The cops got him and he was in for about 6-8 weeks before he could get bonded out. By then I had all his shit out of the house and said he 'abandoned' the place. I never heard form him again. I think he got a hefty sentence because in Florida if you get caught with a certain amount of pain pills it is considered trafficking. I never lost a winks sleep over it either. He was a worthless piece of shit that was trying to pull something over on me so I got him first!! Bad luck got him!!

There is always a way to get someone out of your house. You just have to be willing to do some dirty things to get it done sometimes. Just like after SHTF. You might have to end up doing bad things for the right reasons..


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## PrepConsultant (Aug 28, 2012)

Slippy said:


> I know a guy who knows a guy named Crazy Vinnie. Crazy Vinnie supposedly says, "Give me a boat, a vat of acid and the Atlantic Ocean and I'll solve anybody's problem."


Sounds like my kind of guy!! The Gulfstream probably has a LOT of bodies in it...


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

that;s why I didn't get specific with posting notices and such each state varies. but I am nationally and internationally accredited. I kinda know what im doing. I would strongly recommend you consider what I say. I come with many yrs experience. but also follow up with a law service in your area. you will still end up needing to consider the longevity and consequences of having some one under the same roof as you go through the eviction process. again it may be easier and cheaper to pay him to move out. definitely go for a consult and then consider the costs and pick yer poison.

a simple call in may get him picked up, but then you still have the problem of residency. In ca we have to post 18 days belief of abandonment then store for thirty after that. ca laws suck. I have paid many people to move for the neighbor's sake.
its easier to walk with a big stick if you are not in the same house hold.


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

shotlady is badass!


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## Will2 (Mar 20, 2013)

Pot is actually a medicinal drug - and B&E skills can actually be useful.

Very sad story, the fact he is on parole means he can't skip state to the south. If I were American I would definately be in the South. Warm weather = survival while declothed.

Very sad story.

None of that would of probably happened if he grew his own. He's probably stealing to live, that is get pot.

If he dealt the stuff he could pay rent.

Such a sad story.

In Canada landlords can take property of leasors who do not pay rent on time. That is take property in kind for non payment of the lease terms. There are lots of solutions.

Such a sad story.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distraint

In Canada if you live in the same house eviction rules don't apply.. as it is the landlords residence meaning eviction is special in that it can be done automatically.

If it was only him not his parent then it seems that 


> Single lodger in a private residence
> 
> A lodger is a person who lives in a room in a house where the owner lives. The owner can enter all areas occupied by the lodger and has overall control of the house.9 Most lodgers have the same rights as tenants.10
> 
> However, in the case of a single lodger in a house where there are no other lodgers, the owner can evict the lodger without using formal eviction proceedings. The owner can give the lodger written notice that the lodger cannot continue to use the room. The amount of notice must be the same as the number of days between rent payments (for example, 30 days). (See "Tenant's notice to end a periodic tenancy".) When the owner has given the lodger proper notice and the time has expired, the lodger has no further right to remain in the owner's house and may be removed as a trespasser.11


might apply

None the less I would guess it would all vary by state.

I would think the guy would respond to .. leave or go to jail for parole violation. None the less you are likely making a life long enemy.

Politics and diplomacy is often much safer than hardball.

Hopefully things work out for the good.


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## imautoparts (Jan 5, 2014)

Well, we'll see how it goes tomorrow. I'm planning to stop by the Parole District office personally.


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

I have some family in Indiana. Please, be safe. Hope it all works out for you.


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## Vagabond (Jan 14, 2014)

It's your friend/roomies kid which makes that person responsible for the kid right? Might have poor consequences for the friendship if worded wrong, assuming that's important for you, but collect the rent from the parent of this delinquent. Might encourage the parent to do what you can't legally. Besides that, talking to the PO about any form of recreational drug use would most likely send him back to jail, especially if you have proof. Remember, "the man" wouldn't have a problem taking your home from you if there is illicit activity going on there even if you don't approve.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

imautoparts said:


> Well, we'll see how it goes tomorrow. I'm planning to stop by the Parole District office personally.


i STRONGLY suggest you listen to shotlady. She is in that business and knows what she is talking about. It will be easier on you, your family and your friend in the long run. Retribution sucks. The person at the heart of this could very well seek retribution when he gets out again. Chances are real good that you won't know what's happening until it's too late. I have known people like him in the past. It doesn't matter whether you are in the right or not. He WILL seek retribution. This will be reinforced in him by the other prisoners there.


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## Mic (Jul 19, 2012)

You've heard from those who know the proper legal answer. Now hear from me....
That's some serious BS to have to jump through those hoops for this retard. Surely, the idiot doesn't know squat about tenant laws. Change the locks when he isn't there and don't let his ass back in. 
Let him go live full-time with the girlfriend. And I'd probably work to start getting rid of the roommate.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

the reason I advise for you to pay him to leave is because you own your home, you live there too. the likelihood of you selling and moving are small. its like being in a fish barrel. 
do start the moving process on your roommate, im sure he will understand why. if this person is a "friend" he will understand why.
I couldn't imagine sitting there watching my kids do something like this to someone, a stranger, my landlord or my friend without getting punched in the ****ing head. 
making calls to you saying stupid shit, sounds like a bunch of bs drama to me.


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## dannydefense (Oct 9, 2013)

shotlady said:


> the reason I advise for you to pay him to leave is because you own your home, you live there too. the likelihood of you selling and moving are small. its like being in a fish barrel.


When did it become normal and acceptable to have to pay people to get off your own property?

What a world.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

dannydefense said:


> When did it become normal and acceptable to have to pay people to get off your own property?
> 
> What a world.


I agree, what a world. There was a time when no one would have put up with such behavior.

She didn't say it was normal. She basically said this was acceptable because it was the easiest way out for him. If the police were brought in he could lose his home. It doesn't matter that the drugs didn't belong to him. Drug laws allow the seizure of any property where drugs are found.

U.S. Marshals Service, Asset Forfeiture, Assets


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## dannydefense (Oct 9, 2013)

inceptor said:


> I agree, what a world. There was a time when no one would have put up with such behavior.
> 
> She didn't say it was normal. She basically said this was acceptable because it was the easiest way out for him. If the police were brought in he could lose his home. It doesn't matter that the drugs didn't belong to him. Drug laws allow the seizure of any property where drugs are found.


Let me clarify, I wasn't implying that shotlady deemed it acceptable behavior, or that she was condoning the methods. I was commenting purely on the action itself.

I wasn't calling you out Ms. Lady!


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

i don't feel called out and agree with you that it is super bazzar to have to do this to get rid of an over night guest. but definitely im one to cut my losses for my sanctuary and safety and what's most important here is peace of mind. I do it because I run a business I bring down 180k per month in rent on just 67 units. Our corp has decided its worth it in some situations to pay people to move on. I had one cat that sat here for months- almost 8 to be exact while he filed demours and extension after extension for non payment. he wasn't even American. he got her and learned to work the system in just a few yrs. it was so far beyond me. we didn't pay him to move. he bothered nobody.

we had this one group of three, boy was she a talented singer and banged on the piano and sang all night! they were fond of the booze and streaking through the hall ways. im not mad, I enjoy the occasional skinny dipping and streaking myself but use discretion and courtesy . but I couldn't allow her to continue to upset the neighbors. we paid them to move it was nonstop. its a cost of doing business in ca.


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## retired guard (Mar 7, 2013)

inceptor said:


> I agree, what a world. There was a time when no one would have put up with such behavior.
> 
> She didn't say it was normal. She basically said this was acceptable because it was the easiest way out for him. If the police were brought in he could lose his home. It doesn't matter that the drugs didn't belong to him. Drug laws allow the seizure of any property where drugs are found.
> 
> U.S. Marshals Service, Asset Forfeiture, Assets


I didn't push the like button because I don't like this. However I do not deny it is true.


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## BamaBoy101 (Dec 9, 2013)

I am sorry, either the unwanted person would leave and never return or I would do some time in jail. My nephew tried this crap with me and I became scary enough he decided it was time to go.....


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