# You Might Be A Prepper... (A Nod To Jeff Foxworthy)



## SquirrelBait (Jun 6, 2014)

If your kids have bug out bags instead of Christmas stockings? You might be a prepper!

If you refer to your vacation spot as your 'BOL'? You might be a prepper!

If you have a first aid kit that would make an surgical field hospital look like a first aid kit? You might be a prepper!


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Check.

Check.

And check.


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## SquirrelBait (Jun 6, 2014)

If your idea of the perfect birthday present is a vacuum sealer, a supply of mylar, And O2 absorbers? You might be a prepper!

If your idea of a romantic getaway is to go out to the back of beyond to train with your equipment? You might be a prepper!

Pssst! Hey guys join in!


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

If the thought of seeing your wife in a ghillie suit gets you all hot and bothered. You might be a prepper.


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## SquirrelBait (Jun 6, 2014)

If you eat your dandelions instead of spray them? You might be a prepper!

If you go can grocery shopping without entering a grocery store? You might be a prepper!


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If you are at a car show, and your first thought while looking at a spectacular fully restored 1969 F-100 is "hey, I need that, it's EMP proof" you might be a prepper.

If you check the expiration/best by dates of everything you buy to make sure you are getting the freshest (longest storing) items on the shelf, you might be a prepper.

If your teenage daughter starts dating a young man and you hate him and want to shoot him (and, unlike most fathers, you have the guns, ammo and training do it, and a BOL to hide the body) you might be a prepper.

If instead of "until death do us part" your wedding vows read "from my cold, dead hands" you might be a prepper.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you give prepping related gifts for Christmas gifts.


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## HuntingHawk (Dec 16, 2012)

If you have ever calculated your prepper score ....


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If the perfume that your wife wears that turns you on the most is Hoppe's Number 9, you might be a prepper.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you have more solar panels than solyndra.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

Never made it, but, If you make wine out of dandelions, you might be a prepper. Heard of it, never drank it.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If you open your Christmas gift from you wife, and it's two identical guns, and the card reads "Because two is one, and one is none" you might be a prepper.

If you actually LIKE wheat berries for breakfast, you might be a prepper.

If you haven't bought flower from the store because it taste like crap compared to what you usually grind, you might be a prepper.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you use rem oil instead of wd-40 for everything.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

If your favorite perfume for the wife to use is WD40, you might be a ******* and a prepper too.
.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If someone breaks into your house, and you can't decide which gun to grab, you might be a prepper.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If your dog and cat both have their own bug out bags, you might be a prepper.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

If you know 20 different uses for 8 penny nails, and none of them involve holding two pieces of wood together, you might be a prepper.


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## Diver (Nov 22, 2014)

James m said:


> If your dog and cat both have their own bug out bags, you might be a prepper.


If you are now wondering why you need a cat during TEOTWAWKI, you might be confused.


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## A J (Oct 16, 2014)

If you see a National Geographic special on Crickets and you think about their protein content and the temperature they must be kept at in order to reproduce.

Thanks to RNPrepper for that knowledge!

AJ


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

A J said:


> If you see a National Geographic special on Crickets and you think about their protein content and the temperature they must be kept at in order to reproduce.
> 
> Thanks to RNPrepper for that knowledge!
> 
> AJ


This reminds me so much of Andrew Zimmern, Folks will eat what is available, sorry, didn't mean to hi-jack this really fun thread.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If you've ever asked a clerk if they have any sizes larger than the 50 pound bags, you might be a prepper.

If you bought an antique crank telephone as much for "after SHTF fishing" as for "it looks cool on my wall", you might be a prepper.


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## SquirrelBait (Jun 6, 2014)

Diver said:


> If you are now wondering why you need a cat during TEOTWAWKI, you might be confused.


Yep, Preppers know that cats keep down vermin!.


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## HuntingHawk (Dec 16, 2012)

When grocery shopping means going to your extended pantry.


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## SquirrelBait (Jun 6, 2014)

If you move into a place because it's 'defensible', And away from 'Hot zones' Instead of great shopping and good schools? You might be a prepper!

If you children understand 'OpSec' before they learn their ABCs? You might be a prepper!

If your purchasing decisions are partly based on how it fits into SHTF scenario? You might be a prepper!


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## Auntie (Oct 4, 2014)

If you act like you won the lottery because you found a bunch of canning jars at a yard sale - you might be a prepper


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

If you have enough batteries to power the space station, you might be a prepper. 

If spring cleaning involves a back brace and a forklift, you might be a prepper. 

If you are laughing at these jokes because most of them are true, you might be a prepper.


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## SquirrelBait (Jun 6, 2014)

If you have enough pet supplies to stock a pet store 'Just in case'? You might be a prepper!

If you buy your kids clothes in sizes all the way up adulthood years ahead? You might be a prepper!

If you feel a little sorry for the poor burglar that tries your home? You might be a prepper!


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you can tell the manufacturer, and model number of low flying aircraft, you might be a prepper.


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## HuntingHawk (Dec 16, 2012)

If after paying for your groceries the lady at the register tells you the stock boys will meet you at the loading dock you are definitely a prepper.


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

If you've been banned...well join the party.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you go white water rafting and the guide tells you and your fiance to remove everything that's not waterproof, but neither of you can think of anything that isn't waterproof on your person.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If you've gained some weight but store your "skinny" clothes away anyway because you know you will lose weight when the SHTF, you might be a prepper.

If you have ever based a land purchase on "lines of drift" you might be a prepper.

If you call power outages "test runs", you might be a prepper.

If you've ever watched "Doomsday Preppers" just to see if any of the whackjobs they have on that show have any good tips, you might be a prepper.


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## HuntingHawk (Dec 16, 2012)

If you take trash to the dump & come home with more then you took you are named HuntingHawk.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you buy a run down house just because it has a radio tower in the back yard, you might be a prepper.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If the sheriff comes to your house to borrow guns in an emergency, you might be a prepper.


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## tinkerhell (Oct 8, 2014)

If your tv remote also doubles as a pocket knife and a compass....


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## tinkerhell (Oct 8, 2014)

If you find lint in your pocket and let out a sigh of relief.....


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you and your son visit a floating museum, and wind up spelling out dirty words with signal flags, you might be a prepper.


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## HuntingHawk (Dec 16, 2012)

You might be a prepper if you can't wait for Christmas to be over so you can eat all the stringed popcorn.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you have ever taken your truck over a scale, and the operator starts yelling like a drunken sailor, you might be a prepper.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If there is a regional aerobatics competition in airspace that is supposed to be uninhabited, but you live under that airspace.

If you have ever fed your girlfriends cat double meals in case you get hungry after shtf.

If you don't have enough batteries to power the space station, but you have actual batteries from the space station.

If you wash your car while you are wearing a drop leg holster

If you ask your wife to wear a drop leg holster on a special night, and nothing else.


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## Ian (Dec 12, 2014)

If you can asociate any two or four numbers with a firearm...


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## Chipper (Dec 22, 2012)

Your next vehicle purchase is based on how off road capable it is and how much supplies it can carry.

You bought an ambulance to make a BOV out of it.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If your daily driver is emissions exempt.


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## cobracon2 (Oct 27, 2014)

If you have more guns than children, you might be a prepper.


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

If you show up to your daughters baby shower with a pallet of diapers...you might be a prepper.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

If you have ever experienced a panic attack because your propane cylinder ran out... But you have 7 more full ones in the shed. You might be a prepper.


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## BlackDog (Nov 23, 2013)

Inor said:


> If you have ever experienced a panic attack because your propane cylinder ran out... But you have 7 more full ones in the shed. You might be a prepper.


How did you know that?


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## BlackDog (Nov 23, 2013)

If you still have all the old work boots you've bought over the past 10 years because "They've still got some wear in them."


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## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

Diver said:


> If you are now wondering why you need a cat during TEOTWAWKI, you might be confused.


Dinner? - The other white meat,,, I know ,, I know


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## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

If you keep 2 years worth of toilet on hand.

Gosh it is scary how many of these things I do or have


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## oddapple (Dec 9, 2013)

If you have been eating rotated food for over one year...
.


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## OctopusPrime (Dec 2, 2014)

my last birthday I asked for a little box of bullets...lol...she was both astonished and happy that i'm a cheap date

so you know your a pepper if you ask for bullets for your birthday


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## longrider (Mar 25, 2013)

I didn't want my fingers to fall off, liking all these posts. I love them all! I'm laughing and saying "Yup, yup, yup".


Great thread, Squirelly One!


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## OctopusPrime (Dec 2, 2014)

budgetprepp-n said:


> If you keep 2 years worth of toilet on hand.
> 
> Gosh it is scary how many of these things I do or have


My god what the hell do you eat? leaves of three let them be..otherwise find some friendly leaves and take an aqua dump.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If you know that The Shotgun News doesn't burn nearly as well as the local newspaper as kindling for your Kelly Kettle, you might be a prepper.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If PrepperForum's "new posts" page is set to your browser home page, you probably are a prepper (or you work for as an NSA)


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If somebody says on a forum "I just stored 200 pounds of hard red wheat in mylar bags & food grade buckets" and you are honestly excited for them, you might be a prepper.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If you drive past a grain elevator and your first thought is calculating how much corn meal and flower you could grind, and how many people you could feed for how many days with the contents of the elevator, you probably are a prepper.


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

If you go to the gun store and the guy behind the counter says "I just got in 10 cases of 5.56 ball, how many you want?" you might be a prepper.

If you look at your stock of .22LR with a concerned face because you are dipping down below 25,000 rounds due to the shortage, you might be a prepper.

If by closet you mean that place in the hall that's stacked entirely full of home canned foods, you might be a prepper.

If you consider under the bed to be "important storage space" you might be a prepper.

If you put in an especially large bathtub during the recent bathroom remodel simply because it will hold more water in an emergency, you might be a prepper.


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## tinkerhell (Oct 8, 2014)

Theres a bag of clothes in your truck that you never use but they are folded and better pressed that the clothes in your closet that you do use.


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## warrior4 (Oct 16, 2013)

If you've ever gone through the garbage at in the laundry room for more lint others have thrown away...you might be a prepper.


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## MrsInor (Apr 15, 2013)

You spend twenty minutes unwrapping Hershey Kisses all the while wondering if there is a reason you should save all those little pieces of foil.


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## A J (Oct 16, 2014)

You might be a prepper if after very careful consideration, the one thing you'd miss the most after SHTF is not Electricity, Running Water, Trash Service, Indoor toilets, toilet paper or television. It's all your friends on the PrepperForum.

We really really need a secret handshake!

AJ


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

A J said:


> We really really need a secret handshake!
> 
> AJ


I got your secret handshake right here, bubba...


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## warrior4 (Oct 16, 2013)

A J said:


> We really really need a secret handshake!
> 
> AJ


PrepperForum membership card maybe? Small, light, easily concealable.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If you save used Christmas wrapping paper because it may be flammable.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

If you can disassemble and reassemble your firearms strictly by feel in the dark, but cannot figure out how to change the clock in your truck to Standard time, you might be a prepper.


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## sparkyprep (Jul 5, 2013)

Inor said:


> If you can disassemble and reassemble your firearms strictly by feel in the dark, but cannot figure out how to change the clock in your truck to Standard time, you might be a prepper.


That's me. Lol


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## MrsInor (Apr 15, 2013)

BYOB = Bring your own bullets.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

sparkyprep said:


> That's me. Lol


Me too pal.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

If your bug out location is more than 35 miles from the nearest paved road or pay telephone.


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## tirednurse (Oct 2, 2013)

If you have a string of 20 flashlights hanging on both sides of your bed

If all of your flash lights use the same battery size so they can be recharged in the ornamental yard lights

If you only buy ornamental yard lights because they are actually tiny solar battery charges

If you always have a prep in mind to stock up on every time you go to the store. 

If you use a prep, you feel the need to replace it with 2 or 3 more in the next day or two or it will drive you crazy thinking about how you don't have enough since you used that one out of your stock 

If you live with the inner turmoil caused by throwing something away that you may have been able to use after TSHTF

If your weekend relaxation consists of updating your storage lists and target practice with the kids

If you make every one in the family go buy prep items every day while they are on sale 

If you see the 10 and 12 packs of single shot bottles of vodka and Kahlua at Costco and get excited thinking they would be an awesome trade item for barter 

If you have a binder filled with recipes for beans, rice and whole grains cooked over an open camp fire

If you have 20 cast iron frying pans and would take another if someone was throwing it out cause you may need it some day. 

If you could cook a meal using 5 or more different heating sources

If your idea of a good meal is when every thing was grown on your own property


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## HuntingHawk (Dec 16, 2012)

If you slam on the brakes because there is a bucket along side the road.


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## MikeyPrepper (Nov 29, 2012)

Sounds about right!! lol


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## tirednurse (Oct 2, 2013)

if you already have a list of excuses for the other shoppers who stare at you when you are buying a flat cart of bulk food items..........."I have 5 teen age boys, I run a day care, adult family home, make our own dog food, my sister and her 7 kids and low life husband just moved in, making cookies and bread for the school bake sale................"


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## SquirrelBait (Jun 6, 2014)

If you know 101 uses for a pool noodle, And none of them are anywhere near a pool? You might be a prepper!

If you get antsy when the gas tank is 3/4 full? You might be a prepper!

If you answer to "How much ammo do you really need?" is "MOAR!!!"? You might be a prepper!


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## suzuki2011 (Oct 3, 2014)

SquirrelBait said:


> If your idea of the perfect birthday present is a vacuum sealer, a supply of mylar, And O2 absorbers? You might be a prepper!
> 
> If your idea of a romantic getaway is to go out to the back of beyond to train with your equipment? You might be a prepper!
> 
> Pssst! Hey guys join in!


well im definitely a prepper lol


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## rjd25 (Nov 27, 2014)

If everything you buy must have at least 2 other uses besides the original intent of the purchase.... you might be a prepper.


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## shooter (Dec 25, 2012)

SquirrelBait said:


> If you get antsy when the gas tank is 3/4 full? You might be a prepper!


super guilty of this one....


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## tbone1964 (Oct 6, 2013)

You might be a prepper if...making alist and checking it twice...has nothing to do with christmas


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