# Family prepping support, or lack thereof



## Montana Jack (Feb 27, 2014)

I envy those of you whose spouses and children (and grandchildren) are on board. My wife rolls her eyes when I talk about preparing for various scenarios, or talk about what survivalist fiction I'm reading. My kids inhabit a different universe: one that has a bright, rosy future without the cares of adults.

Don't get me wrong - I love them more than my life, as any of you no doubt do as well. My wife and I have been together for years and years, and we can't imagine being without the other. Kids do well in school, are well-behaved, love their family, and are caring and compassionate youngsters.

Still, it would be nice if somebody wanted to go with me to the range, or learn how to build a fire without matches (I still can't unless it involves petroleum of some form, haha), or study the best way out of the city on foot, etc. Probably never going to happen, and that's okay. If the SHTF, they're going to do better than their friends.

One silver lining: though my wife knows, I don't usually talk about the preps. Good OPSEC, because no one is blabbing to their friends about how crazy the old man is with this "doomsday stuff."


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## Charles Martel (Mar 10, 2014)

Women are much less likely to survey the landscape and see potential future threats than men are. It's a quirk of human evolution. It's the way that men and women's brains are wired. It has long been the role of men to provide security and long term planning for their families. This has allowed women to focus on providing for the moment to moment needs of their children. Women are far less likely to see the need to prepare for a long term threat to their families than men are. This is part of our hardwiring as males and females of our particular species.

What we need to do as providers and long term planners for our families is to use another quirk of human evolution, and direct our wives maternal instincts toward prepping. If you can connect prepping with protecting your children from danger in your wife's mind, she will probably outwork/outprep you.


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## MrsInor (Apr 15, 2013)

Charles Martel said:


> Women are much less likely to survey the landscape and see potential future threats than men are. It's a quirk of human evolution. It's the way that men and women's brains are wired. It has long been the role of men to provide security and long term planning for their families. This has allowed women to focus on providing for the moment to moment needs of their children. Women are far less likely to see the need to prepare for a long term threat to their families than men are. This is part of our hardwiring as males and females of our particular species.
> 
> What we need to do as providers and long term planners for our families is to use another quirk of human evolution, and direct our wives maternal instincts toward prepping. If you can connect prepping with protecting your children from danger in your wife's mind, she will probably outwork/outprep you.


Maybe you would like to amend that to "most" women or "some" women. I believe there are several women here who prep and some without their husband's support.


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

If it weren't for this woman, the shelves would be bare, the garden nonexistent and the animals providing food to someone else. But you are right - for me, it is _all_ about protecting my kids.

Montana Jack, my husband is into NASCAR. I hate the stuff, but it's his thing so I support it. I dig my spinning wheel, but he couldn't care less. As a lone prepper in my house, I get where you're coming from but I also think it's not much different than any other interest. The outcome is more serious, but the process is probably similar, at least in her eyes. At least you have a great love for each other - that trumps all else!


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

At first my wife was a bit stand offish on it. After a few years of Obama she is pushing me to move faster. And question our Security supplies as if they may not be enough.


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## oldmurph58 (Feb 8, 2014)

My wife thinks i'm nuts, being into prepping, but she knows it makes me happy, and when we loose power every winter, she loves the gi mountain bags, lanterns, food, and camping stove, so it works out o.k.


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## Seneca (Nov 16, 2012)

Montana,
There was a time when I could have written a post very similar to yours, as I see it, a lot of your comments would have described my situation. My soon to be ex and I are in the process of going our separate ways. While I seriously doubt my prepping had much if anything to do with it, it may have contributed. Not saying that is going to happen to you or anybody else for that matter, It's my situation and that's that. The point being is that prepping can become an issue. Especially if one person does and the other doesn't.


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## Ripon (Dec 22, 2012)

My situation was never as bad as the OP and I have no kids. There are two men in our prepper church group that talk of it and the consensus is to forge on alone. Be as prepared as you can for them and to help them. You aren't leaving them behind you are accepting the ugly reality.


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## BigRed (Mar 6, 2014)

Another female here- but in all honesty it was definitely new motherhood and a desire to protect my child that gave me the mental push to start prepping. I would love it if my husband was on board, but at least he isn't hostile to it. He sees it more as my 'cute hobby'.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Slow and steady Montana Jack. They'll come around!


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

My wife was supportive, learned to shoot (better shot than me), etc. Even had me prep extra for her sister to join us. Now that we are retired and sister is 1500 miles away and on a fixed income, she doesn't seem so supportive. So for me, support comes and it goes now.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

paraquack said:


> My wife was supportive, learned to shoot (better shot than me), etc. Even had me prep extra for her sister to join us. Now that we are retired and sister is 1500 miles away and on a fixed income, she doesn't seem so supportive. So for me, support comes and it goes now.


Paraquack,
Let me get this straight, when the sister-in-law is around, the wife is more supportive? You sir are in what is called a tight spot.


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## hotpig27 (Dec 24, 2013)

My wife thinks I'm crazy and wasting money and time. Obama saved the US and the danger passed when Bush left.


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## peaches (Mar 24, 2014)

MrsInor said:


> Maybe you would like to amend that to "most" women or "some" women. I believe there are several women here who prep and some without their husband's support.


True I prep and I am female, my husband is the one who laughs.


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## Boss Dog (Feb 8, 2013)

No wife here. Daughter (#2) that lives with me is fully onboard, interested and participates. Youngest daughter and son see the possible need but are... slow to action. They can be moved with the right motivation. Oldest daughter thinks it's crazy and couldn't care less, she's more worried about getting her next govt check. If obummer manages to blow everything up, guess who'll come knocking?


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

peaches said:


> True I prep and I am female, my husband is the one who laughs.


Laughing about it in our house could be fatal - more on Mrs Inor than me. (Because as you all know I am an easy going, nothing rattles me kind of guy...) Let's put it this way, it has become a family tradition the last several years that the Friday after Christmas is "Family Patriot Day" (coined by our youngest daughter - the girly-girl). We all meet up and go to the range and blast off literally several thousand rounds. Then we all go to supper. Works for Mrs Inor and me. The rest of our family seem to be pretty into it as well since they are the ones that bring it up every year. 

It's good to be a hill-billy *******.


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## JessPrep (Mar 22, 2014)

Don't worry, although my partner is into it he isn't INTO it. So far, for the few weeks a have been prepping I have done most the work. I tried to mention my new 'hobby' to my mother when I was up visiting a few days ago. Needless to say, she laughed. I'm beginning to paick how I am EVER going to get a food supply for me and my whole family. There's the parents, the 5 kids (My brothers and sisters) and their kids, which is 3 nephews and neices. Not to mention the 4 or 5 cousins who are practically like brothers and sisters. Altogether I'm thinking I'll be prepping for around 15/16 people. The silver lining though will be defense!


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## blackrhino (Nov 7, 2013)

We live in Oklahoma, back in Dec. 2007 we had an icestorm that knocked out power for 4 days. That icestorm was hard on us, no food, no heat, and bad tempers was no fun. After the the storm we decided to get a small trailer that had a generator, heat, and water so if this would happen again we would be prepared. This incident made us both wake up and do something. My extended family thinks we are wasting money, but it is like insurance...better to have it and not use it than to need it and not have it.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

Inor said:


> (Because as you all know I am an easy going, nothing rattles me kind of guy...)


:lol:



Inor said:


> It's good to be a hill-billy *******.


Can't argue that one.


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Hubs thinks I'm completely nutz!! He may be right.


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## spokes (Feb 22, 2014)

Unfortunately it sometimes takes a SHTF situation to make folks come around to 'our way of thinking', whether it be a natural, man made or financial disaster. They wake up when one day when things settle down and say, 'I'm not going to be unprepared again'.

Another lady prepper putting her two cents worth in. Bad and I are both into prepping. We work as a team. What one of us doesn't think of the other one does.

I was outside spading my garden the other day and asked him if he wanted to take a turn at the shovel. He said no thanks, I grow it and he would eat it. Now that's teamwork in action.:lol:


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## pastornator (Apr 5, 2013)

MrsInor said:


> Maybe you would like to amend that to "most" women or "some" women. I believe there are several women here who prep and some without their husband's support.


Indeed... One of the "givens" that I work with in couples counseling is the differing needs of men and women. One of the primary needs of a woman is security, which as far as prepping is concerned is a double-edged sword of sorts. HAVING the preps in hand gives a feeling of security. NEEDING the preps (i.e., thinking about bad scenarios) causes a distinct lack of security and so is therefore rather uncomfortable. Yet you can't have one without the other. Further, women are not typically geared like men to problem-solve. That doesn't mean that women don't solve problems -- they can and they do -- but it may mean that the sort of problems a guy dreams up JUST to solve are not of interest to a woman, in general. Why make more work when there are already enough things left undone -- and with that "un-done-ness" comes emotional struggle -- so the thought of adding MORE un-done-ness for problems that are also only speculative in nature is often not met with a grin and open arms by the average woman.

What is the remedy? Make some things happen to cause a general feeling of security without always talking through the various scenarios that lead to that preparedness. Then (at least I've found this rather helpful) start to live from the storehouse of preps instead of trips to the store, which will reinforce the concept that the man of the house is taking care of meeting the needs for security and stability for the woman of the house.

In our home, I do the majority of the grocery shopping and it is I that know the price structure, the deals, and how much we have on hand at any given time. I'm met with sometimes difficult questions like, "Don't you know that we already have 3 gallons of cooking oil and 5 big bags of rice?" but I continue to extend stock anyway. I'll take the hit for being a dumb man who doesn't really know what is going on while I fill the storehouse for the scenario that I fully expect one day to see. Then, when situations hit and we actually do live fully off our preps, life continues as normal for 1-2 months without many trips to the store. Been there, done that, have a number of T-shirts to prove it... :lol: It also means that I am a bit pushy about the garden situation. My bride is frugal to a fault, and she cannot stand to see 10 pounds of beans on the counter that are not canned or frozen, so WE take care of them. Nice to see a lot of jars in the basement storeroom... Just finished our last potato from the garden over the weekend. Still have enough other veg to hold us until they start producing again. In fact, I've found the trick is to actually USE our stock on hand instead of just collecting it! Always saving for a day when we might be without, but I've found it is better to use and replace than to just store for a rainy day only to find that the product is too old to be of use anyway.


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

I'm nuts and it's a waste of money, until we need it (this has happened a few times) it took the loss of power for a few days and now it's no longer a waste of money 

but I'm still nuts


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## Pir8fan (Nov 16, 2012)

Montana Jack said:


> I envy those of you whose spouses and children (and grandchildren) are on board. My wife rolls her eyes when I talk about preparing for various scenarios, or talk about what survivalist fiction I'm reading. My kids inhabit a different universe: one that has a bright, rosy future without the cares of adults.
> 
> Don't get me wrong - I love them more than my life, as any of you no doubt do as well. My wife and I have been together for years and years, and we can't imagine being without the other. Kids do well in school, are well-behaved, love their family, and are caring and compassionate youngsters.
> 
> ...


My wife often goes to the range with me and she agrees with my thoughts on preparation. On the other hand, my sister and her husband think we're knuckle dragging fools. Guess who will be the first to show up for handouts?


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

Mish said:


> Hubs thinks I'm completely nutz!! He may be right.


Just because you're nuts doesn't mean you're wrong in prepping. Why do you buy car insurance, house insurance, etc. As has been stated many times before by smarter people. "I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. If the government had such a hard time in New Orleans and it was one big city, what will happen in a multi-city major disaster or worse, a national catastrophe? While I pray that nothing ever happens, I also pray that I have enough.


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## MrsInor (Apr 15, 2013)

Pir8fan said:


> My wife often goes to the range with me and she agrees with my thoughts on preparation. On the other hand, my sister and her husband think we're knuckle dragging fools. Guess who will be the first to show up for handouts?


Sounds like us. Although my brother in law seems to be quietly interested. I noticed new shelving in a bedroom pretty well stocked with canned goods. My government employee sister will be looking for government help if/when the time comes. <sigh>


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## Charles Martel (Mar 10, 2014)

JessPrep said:


> Don't worry, although my partner is into it he isn't INTO it. So far, for the few weeks a have been prepping I have done most the work. I tried to mention my new 'hobby' to my mother when I was up visiting a few days ago. Needless to say, she laughed. I'm beginning to paick how I am EVER going to get a food supply for me and my whole family. There's the parents, the 5 kids (My brothers and sisters) and their kids, which is 3 nephews and neices. Not to mention the 4 or 5 cousins who are practically like brothers and sisters. Altogether I'm thinking I'll be prepping for around 15/16 people. The silver lining though will be defense!


You are not going to be able to prep for 15 to 16 people without their help (unless you are independently wealthy). Don't even try. Get yourself and your boyfriend squared away...the rest of your family will have to live or die with the consequences of their actions/inaction. You cant save people from themselves.

I hate to sound harsh, but there will be no place on my plantation for those who mocked, scoffed and laughed, when I tried to warn them to prepare themselves.


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## Pir8fan (Nov 16, 2012)

The folks that I know that don't do at least some measure of prepping have basically acknowledged that they're quite willing to sit around and wait for the government to take care of them. In this day and age, that mindset is completely alien to me. I can't even begin to understand the thought process that causes them to think the government would take care of them instead of them taking care of themselves. The strangest part is that a few of them are adamant about having guns in the home because 911 takes too long!


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

My sister in law is a wonderful, hard working and great asset to have and sees the world for what it is. Her husband's view on being prepared swings like a damn pendulum. He is unable to fully commit to the most rudimentary of preps; water, food, shelter, even though he has made a significant investment in 30+ acres of rural property that is next to ours. Oh, he has plenty of weapons because they are fun to buy...and the sad truth is that he has not shot most of his weapons ever. Hell, he has two AR's that do not have sights for crying out loud! FUBAR 

But he is the first to talk about how crappy everything is. Its almost as if he likes to brag about being some full blown prep expert around people to try to impress them? Once again, FUBAR. So I screw with him, but it is disappointing because people need people. Its just that I don't have the time, patience or energy to babysit someone who is a full grown man...or should be.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

Charles Martel said:


> You are not going to be able to prep for 15 to 16 people without their help (unless you are independently wealthy). Don't even try. Get yourself and your boyfriend squared away...the rest of your family will have to live or die with the consequences of their actions/inaction. You cant save people from themselves.
> 
> I hate to sound harsh, but there will be no place on my plantation for those who mocked, scoffed and laughed, when I tried to warn them to prepare themselves.


The sad part of this is that it's the truth. I prep for me and my wife. Her sister is not able to prep any at all so I am doing for her too. Add to that one nephew and his better half, I have all I can handle. My nephew and his girl friend will supply much needed labor for us old folks. That's a total of 5 for me. My wife and I make decent money and we could not handle more than this.

If that's what you choose to do then you need to move somewhere outside of town. A really good size garden will be a must along with some animals.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Around here each person has their specialty . Daughter over sees Food We have a blacksmith and other people with skills ect.


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## The Resister (Jul 24, 2013)

inceptor said:


> The sad part of this is that it's the truth. I prep for me and my wife. Her sister is not able to prep any at all so I am doing for her too. Add to that one nephew and his better half, I have all I can handle. My nephew and his girl friend will supply much needed labor for us old folks. That's a total of 5 for me. My wife and I make decent money and we could not handle more than this.
> 
> If that's what you choose to do then you need to move somewhere outside of town. A really good size garden will be a must along with some animals.


I get where you're coming from, but I'm at a cross-roads here. In many jurisdictions you can't have animals and a personal garden on the same property. The loss of Rights is making self sufficiency a freaking crime.


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

Charles Martel said:


> Women are much less likely to survey the landscape and see potential future threats


I would agree with this..Women are less likely....

Of course some are great preppers..they are the minority though....thank God they are out there....

My grandmother had tons of food put away..but she went through the great depression..so had 1st hand knowledge of what MIGHT happen again


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## Oddcaliber (Feb 17, 2014)

I know ware all of you are coming from. Every year around hurricane season I try to get my GF to prep. Most of the time she is onboard with me. The rest of the time she could care less. I just keep trying.


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

well time to be a little more thought out

accept the popular public opinion we are nuts for NOT trusting our respective governments for coming to our aid in a time of need 

accept our partners stance on the issue (happens when you go too full on too quickly)

accepting these facts, we as "preppers" / survivalists are paranoid nuts is the only conclusion 

with this acceptance, work on turning it in your favor, track real time shtf situations, keep up with main stream news on local/state/country/world events

and always reinforce, I maybe insane, but you see that starving injured family crying on the news, do you want that to be us?? as personally I prefer to be insane and prepared than insane, starving, and begging for medical attention,

so who is more nuts, the person that is always ready for a event, or the person that knows it can happen and dose nothing?? 

we all have first hand experience helping "noob preppers" and how easy it is to overwhelm them, our partners/siblings/family are just as quickly overwhelmed, what's worse after being a nutter is confirmed its harder to regain the ear of the people we are trying to help... 

so my main advice on the topic 

we are INSANE, accept it and move on
move slow (real slow as in someone dating your first born daughter slow) with both family and partners

and always work out a way to sell to your partner why you want to purchase your preps (avoid the terms shtf, zombies and such, even if that's why YOU are buying the item, YOUR PARTNER/better half needs a reason they can comprehend eg. 10kg rice, YOU want it for preps, your partner will be on board because it's a low cost way to purchase) 

many other ways to sell preps to your partner, just learn how, that means actually knowing your soul mate... imagine the drop in divorce rates if people actually spent extra time on knowing there other halfs...


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

The last half of the last sentence holds more wisdom than most of what I have seen here today.

It could be rewritten to say, "If you want to be trusted then you have to trust others with yourself."


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## wtxprepper (Jul 13, 2013)

my wife thought the same thing till I started bringing stuff up to get and she opened her eyes to what is possible to happen now she is into it just as much as I am

she is always talking about adding this to our stock or doing this or that, so I have her support and she is always reading up on more that she can do

my side if the family is supportive to, and my mom showed me everything to do to start canning, my dad was raised on a farm and raised chickens and cattle. 
we had our own farm where we had chickens cattle and pigs that would get ahold or slaughtered for meat, so it's just been a way of life for me

the only bad thing is my wife is not a country girl, she thinks fresh air stinks, and freaks out when she hears crickets I find it amusing

but op just give it time she will come around one there is a eye opening event for her


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## dutch16 (Mar 13, 2014)

My wife sorta tolerated my prepping until we had a "dry run" during hurricane Sandy; then after days with no power and stores being closed, she became much more amenable to being prepared. 
Our son is young enough that he just accepts prepping as a natural part of life. 
After Sandy, his teacher complained a/b being w/o power and our son just said "why didn't you use your generator?"


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

dutch16 said:


> After Sandy, his teacher complained a/b being w/o power and our son just said "why didn't you use your generator?"


Lol I like your son, take that education system


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