# Need some advice from Military people



## Auntie (Oct 4, 2014)

There is a young man that recently left the military. He isn't sleeping (bags under his eyes), has lost a lot of weight, and is going into a deep depression. I know the look of desperation. I did a search online for groups that help people get back into civilian life and I am not sure which ones are good. Will someone please provide me with some ideas to help this young man. I would like to provide him with some websites or organizations so he can get some help. None of his family is in this area. It is him, his wife and their 3 year old child.

Thank you in advance.


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## txmarine6531 (Nov 18, 2015)

10 Organizations that Help Veterans Transition to Civilian Life | Vista Military

He really needs to be around prior service folks, especially older vets. DAV and American Legion are good places for that. It was a little difficult for me when I got out, and I didn't get to deploy. Being around my friends who had gotten out around the same time as me made it easier. It's a night and day ordeal and is hard to deal with, especially if you've seen some sh*t.


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## beach23bum (Jan 27, 2015)

What large city are you near? I can get better VA info with that. 


Auntie said:


> There is a young man that recently left the military. He isn't sleeping (bags under his eyes), has lost a lot of weight, and is going into a deep depression. I know the look of desperation. I did a search online for groups that help people get back into civilian life and I am not sure which ones are good. Will someone please provide me with some ideas to help this young man. I would like to provide him with some websites or organizations so he can get some help. None of his family is in this area. It is him, his wife and their 3 year old child.
> 
> Thank you in advance.


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## Mad Trapper (Feb 12, 2014)

I'll second the American Legion and add the VFW for places to find a source of help. Both have local chapters nationwide and some members should be able to help and/or point you towards locals that can. Good luck to the returned warrior, God bless him and family


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## Auntie (Oct 4, 2014)

We are about an hour from Denver, Ft. Collins and 30 minutes to Boulder. There is an American Legion a few blocks from where he lives. Do I just walk in there and tell them I know someone in need?


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

yes auntie I would.
well maybe some of us vets can talk to him on here or some thing - I think he needs a friend maybe get him to go to the ymca or something might help a bit too.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

His chance of getting better help from the VA will be enhanced if someone from DAV and American Legion in involved. You do not need to be a member to get help from them.
Obama has really messed the VA up so all the voice you can get screaming for you help.


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## Medic33 (Mar 29, 2015)

or maybe invite him to got to church with you guys or something.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

If by any chance you knew his last assignment, they can some time be a big help. We made it a point to try and keep track of soldiers we knew had issues that that left.
Our form of an out reached worked sometimes.
Medic33 brings up a good point. Interaction with the person is often the first step to help.


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## Ronaldinyo (May 12, 2016)

Wounded Warrior Project - Official Site
https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org 
CUSTOMER SERVICE 877-832-6997
Wounded Warrior Project is a military and veterans charity service organization empowering injured veterans and their families.


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## SittingElf (Feb 9, 2016)

Auntie,

He is exhibiting classic signs of PTSD. He not only needs friends....he needs professional help which the VA can provide. He needs it NOW!
PTSD can devolve quickly into much more serious consequences like suicide or the other way round. 

I strongly commend your wish to help this vet. I wish more Americans would do so.

Thank you for your care and concern....from a vet.


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## cdell (Feb 27, 2014)

I would go talk to some people at the Legion and see if they can help. I hope you are able to help him.


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## Stick (Sep 29, 2014)

Auntie said:


> We are about an hour from Denver, Ft. Collins and 30 minutes to Boulder. There is an American Legion a few blocks from where he lives. Do I just walk in there and tell them I know someone in need?


The VFW hall in Firestone has some great people, and the Boulder VFW holds trap shoots every Sunday, weather permitting. Five bucks a round, your ammo, non-veterans welcome. There is also the Boulder County Mental Health Center, (actually, now it's The Mental Health Center Serving Boulder and Broomfield Counties) there are a few veteran therapists there. I worked there myself 13 years. I don't know if they still have a Mobile Team making house calls since I left...I was the anchor for that whole effective therapeutic concept. Weld County has fewer resources, Larimer has more. The cure for depression is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the book is "Feeling Good" by Burns. Best wishes.


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## Jakthesoldier (Feb 1, 2015)

Hope for the Warriors. Hands down best organization for ACTUALLY helping vets and has a massive national network for everything from housing and jobs, to fitness equipment at no cost and sponsorship for events.


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## Auntie (Oct 4, 2014)

Thank you so very much for all the information. I knew I could count on you guys to provide me with reliable resources.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Auntie said:


> Thank you so very much for all the information. I knew I could count on you guys to provide me with reliable resources.


 Near Denver, no madder what anyone says POT does not cure PTSD. Like any other drug , just masks it. POT as a cure for PTSD in it's self is a crime.


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

I served 5 years in the Navy and deployed twice, once to Beirut. I worked on a carrier flight deck and sadly became familiar with death at a young age. My son came over yesterday. He was stationed at Ft. Stewart, GA. as a tanker and spent a year in Afghanistan. I mentioned something about my tour, just sort of an off the cuff comment, and he opened up. He never, ever talks about it. I figure if he ever wants to I'm here. He has to share his experiences with another service member who has "been there". He has to open up and exercise those demons. I was very concerned about my boy when he came home. Today, not so much. Gotta' let it out. His family has to be understanding too. He may let it out on them and they have to steel their nerves for some horrific stuff. My son explained how he watched as they opened up the back of a LAV and he watched copious amounts of blood pour out onto the ground. He later learned it was a friend's blood. Tough to listen to if you have never been there, but listen just the same.


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## beach23bum (Jan 27, 2015)

Boulder Vet Center
Key Staff

4999 Pearl East Circle, Suite 106
Boulder, CO 80301

Phone: 303-440-7306 Or 303-440-7306
Fax: 303-449-3907
View Map: Bing - MapQuest - Google


Hours of Operation:

Monday: 7:00 am - 7:30 pm
Tuesday: 7:00 am - 7:30 pm
Wednesday: 7:00 am - 5:30 pm
Thursday: 7:00 am - 4:30 pm
Friday: 7:00 am - 4:30 pm
Saturday: Closed
Sunday: Closed

In an effort to better serve the veteran and family members, upon request Vet Centers will provide services after normal work hours and/or on weekends.

For assistance after hours, weekends, and holidays call: 1-877-WAR-VETS (1-877-927-8387)
return to top go


Fort Collins Vet Center
Key Staff

702 W Drake Builing C
Fort Collins, CO 80526

Phone: 970-221-5176 Or 970-221-5176
Fax: 970-482-9428
View Map: Bing - MapQuest - Google


Hours of Operation:

Monday: 7:00 am - 5:30 pm
Tuesday: 7:00 am - 5:30 pm
Wednesday: 7:00 am - 7:30 pm
Thursday: 7:00 am - 7:30 pm
Friday: 7:00 am - 5:30 pm
Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00pm
Sunday: Closed

In an effort to better serve the veteran and family members, upon request Vet Centers will provide services after normal work hours and/or on weekends.

For assistance after hours, weekends, and holidays call: 1-877-WAR-VETS (1-877-927-8387)
return to top go


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## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

Ronaldinyo said:


> Wounded Warrior Project - Official Site
> https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org
> CUSTOMER SERVICE 877-832-6997
> Wounded Warrior Project is a military and veterans charity service organization empowering injured veterans and their families.


thier creed is WAY down as just a money mill!
Google Gary Senise foundation, my fav vets group!
Best to this lost soldier.....


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

DVA has been around a while , you will not see them in the head lines but they do a lot of good.


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

beach23bum said:


> Boulder Vet Center
> Key Staff
> 
> 4999 Pearl East Circle, Suite 106
> ...


I suggested to Auntie in a PM that she give the Vet Center a look.
They quite literally saved my life in the 80's. My options were reduced to suicide by the time I walked in the front door of the Lake Worth Vet Center.
The Vet Center came about, thanks to the Vietnam Veterans of America, because Vietnam vets did not trust the VA, had been screwed over by the VA, and wanted nothing to do with the VA.
Legislation was passed in the early 80's establishing the Vet Centers as part of the VA, but separate from it, in their own stand-alone locations. When I was a "client" there the entire staff were veterans, from the front desk to the Team Leader. Many of the counselors were combat vets, too. 
At the regular VA many of their PTSD counselors are simply book-trained 
The services provided are for combat vets and their families.
Vet Center Program Home


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## ffparamedic (Dec 14, 2015)

Auntie, 

If you think he just needs someone to talk to I'll gladly give you my number, I'm not a professional nor have I been in the military but I have helped my guys talk through some bad situations....

Also mention light fighter to him, it's a military forum....literally tons of guys who will help him out that have been there and done that. I'd imagine someone near him would take him out for a beer.

Sent from my XT1565 using Tapatalk


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

ffparamedic said:


> Auntie,
> 
> If you think he just needs someone to talk to I'll gladly give you my number, I'm not a professional nor have I been in the military but I have helped my guys talk through some bad situations....
> 
> ...


 Beer or any other drug is the last thing a person with any possibility of PTSD needs. It does not help but prolongs the suffering making for an addiction on top of that. Thoma VA give lots of drugs and kill them cheaper that way.


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## ffparamedic (Dec 14, 2015)

Metaphorically Smitty.....

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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

ffparamedic said:


> Metaphorically Smitty.....
> 
> Sent from my XT1565 using Tapatalk


 Sorry something I take very seriously. We have known for many years that any drug does not help but makes it worst. ( back to the 70's)Many case of PTSD not ALL, are a result of drug use, be it legal or other wise. Spent a bit of time dealing with both real and perceived cases. Please don't ask me to tell you who the fakes are but I can surely tell the real ones. PTSD is a scary beast.


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## oldditchdoctor (Jan 1, 2016)

Tadsaw (train a dog, save a warrior), Training To Lead at Stafford 349(Stafford Kansas School District) also has a K-9 battle buddy program. I have seen them in action. No charge, the bring the dogs and train the handler, and all are rescues. I have contact info for both. 
TTL uses at risk high school students to train the dogs. The community(600 or so) really backs the program. The teacher over the program, Mike Cargill, is a man on a mission. He and his family are amazing. He is a retired Zoo Manager and now a school teacher. 
Also try Chris at Hunting 4 Heroes. 
If you have any Vietnam Vets close, put them together. My Father-In-Law was USMC 3-9 in 1963-64 (in country), several Purple Hearts and some very impressive commendations, and took time with the Gulf War folks. It helped them all. Also, I know the VA has a PTSD program. My FIL went to Salisbury, NC and it changed him. He had hope again. 
PTSD is a vicious and misunderstood battle. The stigma that is associated with it sucks, yet the struggle is real. 
I was the recipient of a serviced oh from TTL, after I was injured at EMS and was having severe mobility issues. Charlie is ADA compliant, yet employees refuse to hire people that have service animals. I am living proof. I took a $10 an hour job and had to deny my disability to get it. I still have some mobility issues, fell last week, and if he had been there it would not have happened. The dogs are life savers(truly)!


The old guy


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## Auntie (Oct 4, 2014)

I went to his house today but no one answered, his neighbor said he has been going to bed early. I will try again tomorrow early afternoon. I really can't thank all of you enough for all the great information. FYI, he doesn't drink or do drugs, he saw what it did to his 'buddies'.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

It's sad to me when I read several comments related to how badly the VA treats our Veterans and their lack of quality care. This problem goes well beyond Oblunder. This goes back years. It's a national disgrace that our veterans are treated like second class citizens after having served. I expect to pay my fair share of taxes and I expect that part of those taxes go towards giving Vets all the help they need rather then to some illegal with his 10 kids who have contributed nothing to this country. This government has much to be ashamed of.

Auntie, I hope you can help this guy and your a wonderful lady for wanting to.


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## ffparamedic (Dec 14, 2015)

Auntie said:


> I went to his house today but no one answered, his neighbor said he has been going to bed early. I will try again tomorrow early afternoon. I really can't thank all of you enough for all the great information. FYI, he doesn't drink or do drugs, he saw what it did to his 'buddies'.


Hopefully you can make contact soon. I said a prayer for him as well, we don't need to lose any more.

PTSS as it's being called these days is very serious business and there are multiple avenues for him to seek....the biggest hurdle is showing the person there is no shame in reaching out to someone.

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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

Smitty901 said:


> Beer or any other drug is the last thing a person with any possibility of PTSD needs. It does not help but prolongs the suffering making for an addiction on top of that. Thoma VA give lots of drugs and kill them cheaper that way.


I'll never forget, as long as I live, what the VA told me in 1985. "Rice, you drink too much. You need to quit drinking and take our drugs instead."

Without ANY chemicals in one's brain, and with individual counseling and group therapy, PTSD does get better. It never goes away completely, but with time and keeping a clear head, it will recede into the back ground.
It was found in the 1980's that the biggest key to the puzzle is simply talking about your experiences with others who have gone thru the same thing. Group therapy with 8 or 10 others, sharing experiences, coping methods, and applying what we were taught about the psychological mechanics of the disease was very important to me, it showed me I wasn't crazy, and I wasn't alone.
PTSD has been around probably since the dawn of organized warfare. The ancient Greeks noticed it. In our Civil War veterans, it was called Soldier's Heart. World War One it was Shell Shock. World War Two it was called Combat Fatigue. After Vietnam it was called Post Vietnam Syndrome.
Rape victims can suffer from it, plane crash survivors often do too. 
It was explained to me that (a) it was a common reaction to extreme circumstances; and most important (b) actual, real, physical and chemical changes in the brain causing differences in the way the brain works is really what PTSD is. The difference between the brains of a PTSD sufferer and a non-sufferer can clearly be seen in an MRI.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

PTSD. Two young soldiers, brothers. They served side by side saw the same things did the same thing. Both good men and raised in faith. When we got back One was missing from formation. Lt and a PLT SGT. tried to hide it from me. 1SG knows when a soldier is authorized absent.
When I called them on it they informed me he was so out of it he could not put his uniform on.. I had them go get him and meet with me at a local restaurant. I knew in minutes he was PTSD. We took steps to place him in a protected environment and start help. His brother extend enlistment the next day . Someone explain it to me.
You can not. No one can. I often questioned cases of PTSD many were more of a dependence issue than PTSD. However I know you must do everything you can before dismissing PTSD as the cause and it takes those far more educated than I. I have said it before I can not tell you the fakes but I can tell you the real ones.
And if you must ask I took no action on them hiding his missing formation from myself and the commander. I did privately counsel them on the proper way to help an at risk soldier.


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## Auntie (Oct 4, 2014)

He answered his door today, I had to sit on his porch for almost an hour. I told him about all of you providing me with organizations and saying prayers for him. I gave him a list of all of the links you gave me. He took the list and promised to look at the sites. I asked why he hasn't accepted my invitation to church and he said he doesn't fit in anywhere. I told him about our church and he agreed to come at least once. We talked for a little over an hour, he is lost. He doesn't feel like he fits in anywhere, "the old guys at the Legion" treated him like a kid and "people his age that were not in the military want stories". Our conversation ended with him asking me "why do you care what happens to me?" I told him that lots of people care what happens to him and when he starts contacting some of the organizations he will find out how much they care. 

I told him that there are people on here that have offered to talk to him or just email if he prefers. We are going to have pie and coffee on Wednesday. I am praying that he has a glimmer of hope now.


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

One more site to look at, Auntie:
Iraq And Afghanistan Veterans Of America (IAVA) » We've Got Your Back.
I have not interacted with this organization, so I can not personally say anything about them.


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## RedLion (Sep 23, 2015)

Good suggestions thus far. From what you have posted, he sounds depressed, but not enough to say PTSD for sure. There are many good private, non-profit and state based agencies that help veterans. What he is likely to run into is that most of those will suggest that he get services through the VA, as most non-VA agencies do not provide treatment for mental health or substance abuse. Supportive for sure, but not true care. As far as psychiatric care and medications goes, I have seen meds help a lot of veterans, but also being over-prescribed. The veteran is question is the only one that will be able to determine what care he is open to or not. I would suggest to fully inform him of his choices and let him decide.
No secret that I work for the VA in Minneapolis. I know that VA care is not great through out the country, but it is good and sometimes very good depending on where it is provided. By the way, Vet Centers are VA centers with both VA providers and non-VA providers present, much like the CRRC or Community Resource and Referral Center that I work at in Minneapolis with homeless veterans.
Getting the veteran around other veterans for support and to better normalize his experiences will likely make a world of difference.


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## ffparamedic (Dec 14, 2015)

Thank you auntie!! Keep him talking, I'll keep a lookout for him on LF in case he joins.

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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Auntie said:


> There is a young man that recently left the military. He isn't sleeping (bags under his eyes), has lost a lot of weight, and is going into a deep depression. I know the look of desperation. I did a search online for groups that help people get back into civilian life and I am not sure which ones are good. Will someone please provide me with some ideas to help this young man. I would like to provide him with some websites or organizations so he can get some help. None of his family is in this area. It is him, his wife and their 3 year old child.
> 
> Thank you in advance.


So sorry to hear about that. Sounds like he has some version of PTSD. He needs some cannabis oil. He dont need to talk to any idiots who pose as counselors..therapists..psychologists etc. Worked around them types for many moons and am even kin to some. They are all nuttier than fruit cakes,. You are barking up the wrong tree on that. Would you kindly ask the young man one question? Ask him.."If you died tonight..would you go to heaven to be with Jesus?" If he says yes...kindly ask him why he thinks so. If he says no or maybe ask him why not? Kindly report back on what he has to say. My cousin up in Maine has what he may need. Keep us up to speed. Thanks.

PS..Edit. Kindly dont ask any weighty questions to military folks other than how to kill people and break things..cause they dont know. Why do you think Military Intlligence has been classified as an oxymoron? lol


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