# A lesson in violence



## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

I am having a real bad day. Very little of it has to do with this site, but there is some, which prompted me to make this thread. 

I am going to properly introduce myself. My name is not Jeep, it is Mike. I am both a Marine and Soldier. I am both a former Deputy Sheriff from Los Angeles as well as a Correctional Officer in the California Prison system. I do suffer from PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) for those who do not know. Mine is not from what I did or participated in. It is from what I witnessed and saw, what one human being was willing to do to another. This post, this thread is for those of you that watch the news, that hear stories but have no first hand knowledge of anything horrendous. 

I see threads and posts on here that crack me up. Your Organic or Heirloom garden does not fight. Your chickens and geese do not fight. YOU DO. What I mean by this is some here think they will retreat to some safe haven and all will be ok. When the bad guys come, you will lose simply because you do not know how to use violence. I am not much of a diplomat but I always speak first before I act. If that does not work, I use my gift, and that is Rage. My last fist fight was at 42 years old against a 27 year old. I was a willing participant. He lost not because I am a bad ass, he lost because he didn't realize that I was going to hurt him really bad, and I was in it for keeps. 

How are you going to feel when you go to the store or ATM next time, and your the victim of a violent crime. Well your a prepper right your set up. Hardly. Be used to watching your surroundings, don't dilly dally, move with a purpose. 

This thread is not directed at anyone, it is directed at the mindset. be ready to pull that trigger, take a Krav maga course. If your offended well, I am sorry for that, but oh well.


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

Being in an alert enough state to be aware of what is around you is absolutely key. Jeep is correct when he says move with a purpose. Thugs are looking for easy victims. The lowest hanging fruit with the least effort necessary. If things go bad, be worse. Do what you have to to protect yourself and your family. Swift, violent and sudden gives you a chance. Great advice Jeep.


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## keith9365 (Apr 23, 2014)

Face the truth, sometimes violence does solve problems.


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

I get where your coming from. Not all of us have encountered violence, and your right. No one knows how they will react given any particular situation, and that's why we need to practice, learn and become prepared.
I have stated once here, that I didnt know if I could kill a human being. That's still true. I don't. I dont want to find out either. 
Good post Mike.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

Thank you, Mike


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

Detroit.


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## somohick (Aug 22, 2014)

Jeep. I would like to start off by thanking you for your service. And you are 100% correct no matter where you go or what you are doing you HAVE to keep your head on a swivel. My wife gets aggravated at me because I am always on her ass to pay close attention to her surroundings but Im sure there will be a day when she(and Myself) is very happy that i have taught her to be aware of her surroundings.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

I actually cried reading responses, because I am concerned. If you spend all your money on devices and no time on being "hyper vigilant" which is something I am trying to recover from, you are defeating yourself. Somohick thank you and your welcome. TG your welcome as well. I am just wanting good folk to be prepared to do things they would not do on a daily basis. I want good people to do the right thing when the time comes, regardless of what it may be


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## PrepperLite (May 8, 2013)

Aye, maintaining situational awareness, then acting on that awareness, is key to survival.


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## dwight55 (Nov 9, 2012)

Thanks, Mike, . . .

I had the opportunity to discover the difference between a soldier and a warrior.

I'll remain a warrior until I die, . . . though I am not a soldier any more.

Warrior generally survive, . . . soldiers most often don't.

It has nothing to do with prowess, training, size, age, sex, or gifts: it is simply the mental attitude. 

May God bless,
Dwight


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

This is part 2, kind of. I was not a fighter in school. I avoided it. When I went into the Marines and graduated, I was 5 foot 7 and 128 lbs of raw meat waiting to get a beat down. NO matter what I learned or was trained in. It took a mindset, it took additional training, pain and suffering to get further along. I had 11 years between enlistments. I went back in 2004 because working in prison was boring and 3 of my co workers deployed with their Sons, I decided it was time to go back and do what I am good at. I hit the gym everyday and had a unique job...snatch and grab. When all was said and done I returned to prison at 5 foot 7 and 202 lbs of just pure hatred. Well the hatred is my problem, but my love for animals and farming and gardening keeps my sanity. I have to live everyday watching everyone. I walk fast and with a purpose. This may sound stupid but it works, where I live there are magpies....I am 18 miles from town. Whenever I drive I look for magpies in my mirrors and windows, and count them. Why ? I am looking everywhere, I am aware of everything around me.


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## SDF880 (Mar 28, 2013)

Thank you for your service Mike! And thank you for your post!. I got mugged in a parking lot at LaGuardia airport years ago, 3 on 1 boy was I wrong place at wrong time! That incident was a real eye opener and learning
experience for me! To this day I try to walk around in condition yellow and very aware of what is going on around me always. I was amazed how quickly my attackers came out of nowhere and how quickly it was over, I was lucky!
Looking back I blame myself as I should not have been where I was at the time and I sure know now. Thanks again for your post as it has made me re-think a few things and re-mind me of a few things.


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

Jeep...You have been spot on. Many people here or else where will suffer from the all to common shock effect of violent crimes. My wife comments all the time that I need to lighten up when we are out in public, because I'm always hyper aware, always expecting a fight, and if challenged I go pretty damn crazy quickly...many here may remember my post from months ago about the Guy in the jacked up truck... You are correct in telling folks to get involved in something that has a violent aspect to it...even if it's just some sort of MMA or other training. Every victim you will ever find will most likely say..."I never expected....." and that is why they were targeted. Expect it....put your damn A-game on and your war face....don;t be afraid to piss someone off by saying "What the **** are you looking at...when they are eye balling your purse or briefcase..." a few hard words sets them back on their heels. They don't want a fight...they want an ambush. Give them a fight... sometimes jumping dead in their ass will avert a worse situation. When I was 15 I got surrounded by 6 black kids who were looking for a fight...I looked for the biggest, loudest one and punched him about 3 or 4 times in the face as they started to talk shit....all of them ran off....I was a 129 lb kid...but I had a 210 lb attitude. By god I learned then what works. Good post Jeep...and brother...we can rage together any damn time you want...first beers on me.


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## Hemi45 (May 5, 2014)

Great thread and God bless! For those looking for more info on situational awareness and what to do when you're suddenly in the wrong place at the wrong time I suggest reading up on the "OODA Loop."


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

SDF your welcome. There are others here, they just didn't say anything, and only because I am in a rut today did I. 3-1 is not fair for most, but I like the odds lol. Please, your thanks for the post is appreciated, but your preparedness is what I would want more. We may be all thats left one day and I need you all in one piece.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

Brother, I had no idea what PTSD was until I read about it. Turns out, I have been dealing with the scene and didn't know it. 

I took automatic fire and couldn't return fire because of a fence and jurisdiction. Want to talk about pent up frustration? 

I've seen what people can do to each other and I have seen what people can do to themselves, and it isn't very good. You already know that. You've seen it for yourself.

You were a deputy; you probably have the same nightmares of horrific traffic incidents that I do. There is something about seeing another human body shredded to pieces that screws with the mind.

Not every other human is as what we remember - the worst. Sure, it is hard to rememnber that. I'm not saying to let your guard down; I am just saying that all people are not potential targets.

I know; it is hard to find the happy medium.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Nah Denton my truck. its just that I want people to grow balls and realize. even our Ladies here. Don't get victimized because your in heels and shopping. I go to town looking like I rode a train in sometimes, I ain't smiling, but I will when I see someone I know, otherwise, .........if your checking me out it would be a good idea to ditch me and move on


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

Jeep said:


> Nah Denton my truck. its just that I want people to grow balls and realize. even our Ladies here. Don't get victimized because your in heels and shopping. I go to town looking like I rode a train in sometimes, I ain't smiling, but I will when I see someone I know, otherwise, .........if your checking me out it would be a good idea to ditch me and move on


I go to town with a smile on my face. I always have a smile for the world. That doesn't mean I won't kill a predator, though. The Keen sandals and island shirt are just personal preference.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

I left Iraq with my unit because there was a more pressing issue, that was international. War crimes and the individuals responsible for them. In Bosnia, you couldn't travel far and not smell burn't rotting flesh. Every river was very pretty complete with the cars and corpses in it. But I come here and I seek help, I receive it. I offer help and it is taken, I hope. I look angry lol, even though I am in a good mood. Just my posture and walk. I am over today and have to move on


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## Ragnarök (Aug 4, 2014)

Most of the time violence is a waste of my time...but if you give me good enough reason I won't hesitate to cut your throat. That's my philosophy on the matter...I'm very aware when I am in public and even at home. I walk fast and watch everyone.


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## 2Tim215 (Jun 19, 2014)

You hit the nail on the head. Most will not survive because they are not mentally "prepped" to be violent. And I don't mean shoot to kill here. I mean violent in in it's ugliest forms. Those that will come for what you have will be the violent, not the meek, they will have already raped, pillaged and murdered there way to you. Do not for one second think that negotiating your way through it will work. You will have to act fast and viciously.
Here where I live violence is not that far away and all my life I have learned to be aware of my surroundings at all times and that's why I have never been hijacked or have had to deal with violent crime. Avoidance is always best but in real life school yard rules don't apply and hesitance will cost you dearly. All the physical training in the world will not help if the mind is not psychologically prepared to hurt someone badly and kill without question or hesitation. Those who have been in the military or similar know that those will do you harm do not for one second question the morality or ethics of doing so. The prepping of assets and ones body will assist in survival but without the right mindset you will die.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

You have to be ready to pull a trigger. 
I had an incident a few years ago when someone pulled a Jack handle on me while he was in a fire lane in front of a drug store. Of course I was younger then and I pulled the butt stock of my 870 express and he starts laughing. So I chuckle and drive away. As im driving away someone tells him what it was that I was getting behind the seat of my truck. This could have ended very badly.


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## Notsoyoung (Dec 2, 2013)

Being prepared as far as food and supplies is a great idea, but FIRST you need to prepare YOURSELF. After coming back from a couple of missions to Africa and Iraq I felt like my eyes had been opened. Before that I knew intellectually just how inhumane some men could be towards other humans but I didn't really KNOW until I saw it. I do not kid myself into thinking that everyone in the U.S. is so different that it could not happen here. Read the news. It can and does happen here, how much worse would it be if there wasn't any law and people start to get desperate. IMO there are allot of people who if they didn't have the law or society to hold them back would readily become just as barbaric as the worst that you see on the news. I also think that some if not many of them would be considered "good citizens" today. Then there are the others who are desperate and wouldn't hesitate to take what they want/need for them and their families from anyone. 

Many of my extended family members think that I am a little paranoid because I have a concealed carry license, and even carry at family gatherings. The way I look at it is that I would automatically be vigilant in areas or situations that could be considered a possibly hazardous, it's those places that one might normally consider "safe" where you could be taken by surprise. Maybe I am paranoid, heck I even carry while I mow my front lawn, but as the old saying goes, just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't someone out there trying to get you. 

I think that this thread has a very good point. Be mentally prepared to do violence if necessary.


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

I appreciate everyones insight and stories to help those of us who have never been there or done that.
I am glad I married a big ******* hunter. I have no illusions that I can handle any given situation.
And I will take this advice to heart.
p.s. I don't own any heels or dresses, but I've seen some women who do that I wouldnt want to make mad.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Good Thread Jeep
Very timely thread...Just yesterday evening we were sitting on our porch watching the dogs play before dark and we started talking about the crap in Ferguson and how we need to have Situational Awareness to help identify, avoid or destroy those with the Thug mentality.

The Thug has nothing to lose and most attempt to prey upon the weak or the perceived weak. When you are out in public, you MUST know your surroundings and I mean REALLY FREAKIN' KNOW. Its hard to explain but I work very hard to evaluate as many people as I can when I board a plane, when I'm standing in line at the store, when I'm at a sporting event or restaurant.

Often, eye contact helps and I have identified CC people before I notice the print of the weapon under their shirt. And many have ID'd me as well. I've also Id'd those that I thought to be potential thugs and a knowing glance that silently says, *I See Who You Are and What You Are Up To and I will be a Problem for YOU *can make a thug leave and choose another location.

One thing I've realized is that while I'm still a pretty large man, I'm no longer the lean-athletic looking " walk with a swagger" dude that I once was. Knee and ankle surgeries have caused a slight limp and grey hair has infiltrated my 50+ year old head and goatee. My "Shoulder to Waist Ratio" is closing in on each other if that makes sense so intimidation may not work as well as it once did. Avoidance, locating help and quick action are my main plans now vs. confrontation.

Good job Jeep getting us thinking about this.


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

Jeep, I know where you are coming from. I am familiar with PTSD. Very familiar.
Over time most symptoms lessen (and I had 'em all), but one thing that hasn't for me in the last 44 years is the Rage (capitalized on purpose. Jeep knows why). People who don't suffer from PTSD have no comprehension of the level of rage that lies under the surface. Yes, we keep The Beast Within locked up pretty tight, and on the surface we are your average people.
But, on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is calm and 10 is wanting to kill somebody, we go from 1 to 25 in the blink of an eye. I have heard it said "like flipping on a light switch" and that fits. Me, anyway.
You see, our bodies and minds have been conditioned to act this way by life events. The slow ones die, the quick ones survive. The Law of Natural Selection at it's most basic.
And who knows, maybe this will save my life and the lives of the ones I love. It already has, to be honest.

Jeep, it's OK, my Brother. The steel is tempered in the fire. But one thing I have learned through personal example is alcohol and combat vets with PTSD do not mix. At least for me they don't. So, if by chance we ever meet, I won't buy you a drink, but I'd love to buy you a cup of coffee. Any time.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

If I could build a crew, the members would be found on this board.


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## MI.oldguy (Apr 18, 2013)

Good thread Mike,SA has always been numero 1 on my list.mostly,after growing up as an overweight kid in a tough city you learn to fight since you cant run faster! and boy was I a fighter.number two on my SA is always look like DILLIGAF.my piercing blue eyes with the thousand yard stare has worked about 96% of the time.4% of the time that I had to defend myself people got really ****ed up.one person ended up in the hospital because of my rage and another ended up getting four fingers broken when I stomped on them after I was blindsided by a punch to my face.what I was told by my late and beloved father was,"do not let them get you on the ground!".I was not able to serve my country because of the small heart murmur they found.but,I got by in the Washington state National guard for a few years (the WANG we called it) as an engineer so,I did not see any action,(it was right after the Nam)but,the training is still there.I don't feel rage as much as I did when I was younger anymore (I'm 58 now)but,when I see bad shit happening everywhere I have a hard time because it wants to claw out the back of my head and devour this evil shit.I have learned to not and not let my wife look like sheep or tourists and that has gotten us by pretty good.recently,I backed down a couple of punks in a parking lot altercation by saying"Do you really want to tell your friends you got your asses beat by an old disabled guy or,do you really want to tell your friends you beat up on an old disabled guy?" and they just said sorry mister and left us alone.but,I tell you,I was ready to take them out by any means necessary.thats just how I am.


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## dwight55 (Nov 9, 2012)

There is a level of "stuff" happening that can be addressed by words, gestures, head nods, . . . etc.

The next level up needs a bit more: sometimes a stern look, . . . a confident stare, . . . or maybe repositioning the hands and feet as though something is going down.

The next level is where those who don't know, . . . get into trouble. They have watched too many movies where one punch knocks out the bad guy, . . . where pulling a 5 shot revolver out in front of a platoon of BG's makes em all run for cover, . . . where the .45 takes down two and injures three more with the first shot.

Those are the folks who don't know.

When those who do know reach level three, . . . it becomes a simple test, . . . who will live through the confrontation? 

I have no desire to be a part of the taking of another human's life, . . . but my first loyalty is to the Lord, . . . then to me and my loved ones. Anyone interfering with those priorities can reach level three in the proverbial heartbeat.

May God bless,
Dwight


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

It's different for some of us, I live in a Canadian city and do not carry a gun or own one (will be taking a firearms safety class soon), I choose to go places where I feel safe. 
I do think that keeping yourself in good physical shape is important. You can be vigilant and have the best of intentions of defending yourself but your weak body may betray your mental efforts and you fall on your ass 3 seconds into your retaliation, which is very unfortunate. You can carry a gun and be ready to use it but your gun can also be taken away if you're slow or just rely on one 100%. 
I wear heels like many other city women but I also know how to use them for self defence and a few other tricks I learned from a Russian self-defence class for women, they incorporate ***** (military martial arts) skills, including many ways to disarm a man with a gun. Practice constantly  
I keep my eyes open, thanks for the post. 
My opinion? Too many people rely on their guns 100%


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

I am glad to see participation on this thread, it lets me know it got the message out to some. I could live the rest of my days without ever getting physical with someone again, grandkids and wrestling excluded. But I am forced to live this way the rest of my life, situational awareness and Hyper vigilance are part of the territory. Thank you RPD for your words. As long as this community realizes the message I intended to send was for their own well being I am happy. 

I am in only in half the funk I was in yesterday, the world is taxing, and I take it too hard, my problem. Hope everyone else is doing well and ok. I will be putting together another thread soon. But I generally don't like to create them


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

Mike, love reading your posts, keep on writing


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## hardcore (Jan 13, 2013)

I feel your pain brother


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## jro1 (Mar 3, 2014)

"Too many people rely on their guns 100%"
Or perhaps we "stick to our guns" 100%


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## Renec (Dec 21, 2012)

Jeep! Thank you for your honesty,your service and sharing your personal experience with us. There are more of us out there than you know who "suffer". Altho I prefer to call it self preservation instinct.
paranoid?-not if they are REALLY out to get you.and they are..everyone,all the time. Yep,that's how I view the world. Moving to a less populated area,since i just can't stand to be around so many people anymore.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

I am here to share all I can. This forum is my solace, my animals are my life(wife also). I enjoy my time for right now not having to be a 9-5 er. I will be again soon enough. I do not know about so many things but I do know about some things in great depth. Please feel free to ask away


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## Pir8fan (Nov 16, 2012)

BagLady said:


> I get where your coming from. Not all of us have encountered violence, and your right. No one knows how they will react given any particular situation, and that's why we need to practice, learn and become prepared.
> I have stated once here, that I didnt know if I could kill a human being. That's still true. I don't. I dont want to find out either.
> Good post Mike.


I found out that I could kill a person years ago on the side of a highway. Two guys pulled up behind me and were clearly intent on bad things. They ignored my demand to stay away and only left after I had aimed at the nearest on and taken up the slack on the trigger. One more step and that guy would have been dead. Scared the hell out of me but I learned something important about myself.


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## Renec (Dec 21, 2012)

The solace found in a good dog!It's been a year since my Sam passed away,and I still miss him.But he passed along most of his Doggie knowledge to Scout and it gives me comfort to have him around. I'm fortunate that my spouse "gets' me,and is actively involved and supportive of what I do and who I am.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

It is small things that matter. Unfortunately I have some dirt bag relatives who care about nothing but xbox, weed or the welfare check. I was feeding a kitten for the last 2 weeks and we lost the battle. He gave up or whatever, but I am stupid to many for wasting my time on a cat. To me its important, I have saved a few and lost a few. But for me they are rodent control and still pets. I had to bury the little guy and it hurt because He was innocent, where these thugs and ISIS types are just bad. Now Kittens to Terrorists is a big jump. But its all the same for morality, something good should live something bad should not


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Ok, so I do not feel the need to make a thread for part 2 of this. I will just share info from this one. Something changed in my mind after the first Gulf War. It wasn't a fantastic thing, it wasn't WW2, it was fast and hard. I was a 60mm mortarman, had to carry a shitload of weight, almost as much as I weighed. Training and all I feel now I was not really prepared. Now that it is said and done, I went to the gym., I got the job with LASD and realized that some of these inmates were super strong from prison. The UFC just started and I was immersed in MMA. Something was not right though. 8-16 hours a day at work, 2-3 hours in the gym and MMA. I was not a pleasant person. I had no idea why people were asking me if I was angry about something. It was just my facial expression and my posture. I suppose its not a bad thing, but I didn't want to be looked at in that way. 

Violence of action. This translates to be quick and be hard and thorough. I saw co-workers threaten an inmate with a write up "OH BOY", you think they care. If an inmate spouted off, I was walking 7 mph directly towards them and had a meat eating look on my face. It came from no where, but it seemed to be normal to me and a regular occurence. So, you can choose to avoid a situation, and I do advise that, but if necessary...you take the violence to them. Be decisive. 

Where I am, I am choosing to be self reliant but super aware. When SHTF I will know and all bets are off. If I don't recognize a vehicle pulling into my place I am shooting first, not to kill but as a warning. No one up here will be traveling unless it is to leave, so any traffic going the wrong way is a no no. I am prepared to go back to what I know, I pray that it will not come in my lifetime.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

Ive been in too many physical alterations. Eight to ten to be exact. They were knock down drag out. Most of the time I chose to just try to get away. But they weren't having it.
On the subject of mma my family in Hawaii knew bj penn. Some of my cousins went to high school with him and a few of my family worked at the school too.
I think something happened to my brain and I would welcome an altercation with someone who really deserved it.


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

How does one train to be decisive?


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Well, Baglady, when you train, you train to win. IF your confronted with a situation, you make the desicion your going to win. I don't care is someone loses an eye or gets a lung punctured, I am in to win from the start, not maybe or hope so


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

If this is instinctual, then I think I get it. If it is a learned behavior, then I'm probably screwed. I mean I used to be competitive, but I also learned the value of good sportsmanship, which is a learned behavior.
Instinct plays a big role for me as a Mom. You protect your young. 
See where I'm coming from?


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## 2Tim215 (Jun 19, 2014)

BagLady said:


> If this is instinctual, then I think I get it. If it is a learned behavior, then I'm probably screwed. I mean I used to be competitive, but I also learned the value of good sportsmanship, which is a learned behavior.
> Instinct plays a big role for me as a Mom. You protect your young.
> See where I'm coming from?


Instinct is good, but we as a "civilized" society have been psychologically "prepped" from very young to do the right thing. To behave in a manner that is morally correct. This in effect can override instinct or the reptile part that fights instead of flees. Mentally equipping yourself to handle situations like these is exactly the same as strenuous physical training where you train your body to react with instinctive muscle memory. It's not really instinctive, more a case of so much repetitive actions that the mind now knows exactly what to do instantly and the body has been trained to automatically follow without the need to think it through. So to equip the mind to deal with violent situations one needs to train the mind in a manner that it will override the moral conscious part of you and allow you to effectively switch off your emotions and do what needs doing. You can create imaginary situations where you in essence picture yourself doing what needs doing and do this enough times you will create patterns or pathways in your mind that it will now instinctively follow when confronted by situations you have now trained it to react to. This is the same as ancient warriors that went into battle prepared to die, how you think determines how you will act. Think it enough and it will become a part of who you are - there is a danger to this though. That is why much of our youth have been desensitized to violence through games, movies and media and many are violent not because of what they have physically done or been trained to do but because of how they have been psychologically, emotionally and mentally trained to act.


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## jimLE (Feb 8, 2014)

Jeep said:


> I am having a real bad day. Very little of it has to do with this site, but there is some, which prompted me to make this thread.
> 
> I am going to properly introduce myself. My name is not Jeep, it is Mike. I am both a Marine and Soldier. I am both a former Deputy Sheriff from Los Angeles as well as a Correctional Officer in the California Prison system. I do suffer from PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) for those who do not know. Mine is not from what I did or participated in. It is from what I witnessed and saw, what one human being was willing to do to another. This post, this thread is for those of you that watch the news, that hear stories but have no first hand knowledge of anything horrendous.
> 
> ...


*your so correct in what you posted.so many/few people are prepared to live off of the land..the Organic or Heirloom garden chickens and geese etc etc might keep a person to alive..but those things wont help them survive and thrive..*


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

One can never say for certain how they will respond until the time comes. Many people I have encountered simply freeze. I have seen otherwise good Officers become catatonic in the face of violence, at the scene of horrific crashes, grizzly homicides or even something as routine as a traffic violator getting verbally combative. When I trained I always gave recruits the same spiel: "One day you may decide that this profession is not for you. You will know when that time comes and there is no shame in walking away. It will be better for you and for us in the long run." Those that did not heed that warning become a huge liability and endanger others. 

I cannot overemphasize the need for realistic training. If you make the commitment to use violence to protect yourself, your family and those around you. It behooves you to be as good at it as you can possibly be. You need to be prepared to sweat out a protracted legal process and know the ramifications and consequences of your actions. You had best become intimate with death and consider what looking into the eyes of another human you shot might feel like. 

I have said it before here, but I threw up and laughed after I was shot at the first time. It happens so quickly that you just fall back to your training and react. It's when you think about it afterwards that those emotions and adrenaline come rushing at you. You can never prepare yourself completely. But you can train, you can steel your resolve and you can put things mentally in perspective so you can look at yourself in the mirror each morning. And every day just know that violence has a cumulative effect on your body, mind and spirit. One day you will have to write the check.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

I'll write them a check lol


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

The first set in prepeing is being ready to defend. Defend does not always mean sitting back until they come to you. To defend you must be willing to strike fast and hard.
When time comes I hope you have time to think but chances are if you it is to late.
Some things never change 
Speed
Surprise
Violence of action
You can make friends latter


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## Derma-Redi (Aug 23, 2014)

I can definitely respect that!!! In fact, what you are also saying is those of us who prep will actually become an even bigger target b'c we took the time to plan ahead while those who want to harm you for your stash figured they can just take it from someone who is weaker than they are. This is a classic case of survival of the fittest and perhaps even more importantly, "Survival of the Wisest".
I am only suggesting this is part of what you are saying? You need to be equally prepared to protect what you have been prepping for!!!


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## 2Tim215 (Jun 19, 2014)

If you are prepared and those who aren't demand you share are you willing to set an example swiftly, decisively and with extreme prejudice? If you willing give in and share the first time then they will demand again and again until you have nothing left. Are you psychologically prepared to shoot to kill for nothing more than a starving person wanting what you have so they and there family can live a little longer? Bearing in mind that this could be your neighbor whom you have known for 20 yrs. Or a family member that will willing use you (not all family is worth dying for). This is what it means to be violent. No questions, no argument, bullet to the head and walk away and shut your door. Not all violence is fire and fury heat of the moment. Sometimes it's cold and sometimes it's coldly calculated.


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## Boss Dog (Feb 8, 2013)

Observing. Thank you for your thoughts, and to each of you for your service. Been dwelling on this a good bit as of late.


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## sparkyprep (Jul 5, 2013)

Think about it like this. The classic story of the ants and the grasshoppers would be a very different story, if the ants would have simply had the mindset to kill all the grasshoppers in the beginning.

God forbid, if the SHTF, you may need to do some unspeakable things that would change the way your family looks at you, in order to ensure their saftey and well being. Are you truly ready to take it to that level?


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

The family that plays together stays together !


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Few go forth to do violence in you name so you sleep well and wash your hands of it


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## Armed Iowa (Apr 4, 2014)

Good stuff Mike. I too try to be aware of my surroundings at all times. For myself, but equally for my wonderful wife.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

I've always been fond of the saying "speak softly and carry a big stick, you will go far" T. Roosevelt.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

I never planned on getting one response from this really. it was a funk I was in and the need to write.

I saw someone post on here they had been in 8-10 altercations in their life I believe it was. I bounced at a College bar for 1.5 years while I was a Deputy :0, I had 8-10 in that time period alone at the bar. Jail and Prison educated me as to what these people were close up and personal. I was only assaulted once in Jail, never in Prison. Things didn't go well for that guy. I went to work for 12 years everyday knowing what could happen, and I had a smile on my face. I am glad I don't live like that anymore but I still retain my gift, and my knowledge. I am hyper vigilant by default and always ready. Even if I am not carrying, I can do something about someone who is. Mindset, conditioning and training.


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## 1895gunner (Sep 23, 2012)

Mike I have really enjoyed reading through this thread - thanks for writing down how you feel & your experiences. I'm 6' 2" and 220 lbs. Problem is that I'm quickly approaching 60 so as someone else mentioned my gray gives away my age and supposed frailty. The good & bad news is that I know how I react to evil and threats; especially surprises. My wife has discussed this with me as a fault however I see it as a life saver.

I will always hope that I don't have to kill or maim however I know that I would react quickly and with a vengeance. I also find that I'm more & more aware of my surroundings - in everything that I do. 

I carry often but not all of the time and frankly I don't rely on the weapon. That being said there is a level of comfort knowing that I practice with it very often and certainly know how to use it.

1895gunner


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Your gun is your tool, You are the weapon, 6-2 and 220 isn't shabby. Practice is excellent. I was a big boy for 5-7 but slimmed down a bit. I see people in my community carry and some are just fat slobs. I check them out more. Anyways thanks for the response. I learn from everyone.


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## Lifer Prepper (Jun 1, 2014)

I remember John Wayne telling Ron Howard in The Shootist that he had a good group, but would he blink when the time came?

Blinking has screwed up more faces than parading. The show so many put on is there to cover their fear, their upcoming blink, and to buy time. Let them buy all they want. Everyone loses at some point. If you're going to fight, it better be necessary because some bad-ass in whimp's clothing will come along. How many times will a guy risk it?

But on the other hand, being ready is an absolute requirement. A sad second to that is the ability to go from 0 to Dr.Death in 2 seconds. War-gaming, practice, thinking, role playing.... training has to come from some point. Mine was a requirement of the neighborhood, and later some official activity. Always behind the curve, but always willing to learn from the other guy's mistakes. Back in the day, it was exciting, scary and like a drug. Now? I want to live so my family can, too.

I don't fight so much for me anymore as I do for them - because no one is going to take away me from their lives without one hell of an advantage.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

I travel for business, almost every week. That means, carrying a gun is usually not an option. A very good exercise is when you walk into a restaurant and get seated, close your eyes as soon as you are at your table and answer a few questions:

1 - How many paces to the nearest exit?

2 - How many are seated near you? (I eat at a lot of diners and bars.) How many folks to the left? How many to the right? What are their races? (Not that I expect one race to incite violence more than another, but for noticing details quickly.)

3 - What is the seating arrangement of the folks near you? If it is a man and a woman about the same age at a table, do they have a chair between them, or are they right next to each other? Are they conducting a business meeting? Or are they married and in the middle of a fight?

4 - If there is a 20-something year old male, is he fidgeting with his iPhone or his fork?

It takes a while, but after doing this a few dozen times, you will be surprised how much detail you can absorb just walking from the entrance to the counter to order the "Trucker's Breakfast" for supper. The devil is in the details, especially in the city.


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

Inor, Can't you check your weapon and take it just about anywhere? I've never done it but I learned I went to Alaska without a gun when I didn't have to.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

csi-tech said:


> Inor, Can't you check your weapon and take it just about anywhere? I've never done it but I learned I went to Alaska without a gun when I didn't have to.


Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depending on where I go, my CCW may or may not be valid. Hell, sometimes I even have to watch which knife I carry. Seattle and San Francisco limit me to a knife less than a 3 1/2 blade! (And oh yeah, it is a FELONY if I mis-measure my knife!)


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## Zed (Aug 14, 2014)

Mike,
That was a real eye opener.
After joining this forum, i started carrying a small neck-knife.
But after reading this thread and a bit of introspection, i realized that my mentality is of that middle -class, white collar person, who runs away from small acts of aggression, so weak, timid. In truth i realized right now i may not even gather the courage needed to use this knife violently. I think i need to join a boxing class, just to prep mentally.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

I hope if I ever do have to shoot someone that they would be taken to a hospital and survive so im not charged with murder. That is a thought I keep in mind. Medical science is amazing.


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## CWOLDOJAX (Sep 5, 2013)

Jeep, 

My first name is officially, Kimberly, it is a man's name dating back to Welch tribal chiefs.
Yet I challenge anyone to grow up in a stout-hearted Iowa community with a "girl's name.
I had 4 brothers and a father who told me never to be the first one to swing but be sure your the last one standing.
I completely understand the use of rage. At the point that I could not out run the hecklers rage became my friend... albeit a distant one.

I'm not sure if you get my drift but you seem like a guy I could sit with quietly on a hillside and watch the sun go down on a very productive day and not say a word... and be glad for that.

You're absolutely right about the mind being the difference between living or dying. 

Thanks for being on this forum. You're real. Reality is a terrible thing to waste.


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## Mad Trapper (Feb 12, 2014)

James m said:


> I hope if I ever do have to shoot someone that they would be taken to a hospital and survive so im not charged with murder. That is a thought I keep in mind. Medical science is amazing.


Bad mistake.

If you are going to shoot, shoot to kill.

If not just be a sheeple.


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## DennisP (Mar 3, 2014)

Mike and the rest of you guys,

Thank you for helping me open up my eyes a little more. I try to keep my eyes open to what is happing around me, sit with my back to a wall and not to a room. But I know I slack too often. Way more than I should.

Being an Army vet, I've been trained to do the basics. I was in a support unit and never saw a deployment. Never had to shoot at anything but a paper or plastic target. I've only been in one "real" fight where it was anything more than a scuffle. A buddy and I had been jumped by 6 guys. I found out that I could hold my own and could take a good ass whipping as well. I'm not an aggressive person. Usually. If put into the wrong situation, there is a switch. Not sure if its training, primal or just who I am, but the switch is there. I hope I don't have to use it. Im sure I could use more training, and Jeep's Krav Maga suggestion has been a plan of mine for a while. Probably time to act on that.

I can only imagine how PTSD effects people. I've heard stories, read about it, but have never really experienced it in any major way. If there is anything anyone of us can do to help out, lend an ear, or offer advice... PLEASE let us know. This is a pretty close community and we have a lot of good people. I don't post a lot, but I read almost all of the posts that come through. Many times a day.

Thanks
Dennis


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## jimLE (Feb 8, 2014)

* your correct in your assumption derma.many things go hand n hand..if one person knows that your prepared for worst now..they'll know it later on,when the shtf...and like csi-tech said...You can never prepare yourself completely.but yet,one must still prepare much as possible..especially with what all is going on in the world at this time..*


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## Wise Prepper (Oct 2, 2014)

Great thread. Always like hearing other opinions. I personally and very watchful of my surroundings and will do anything to anyone to protect my life or that of my loved ones. If a situation has come down to shooting, I will shoot to kill! There will only be one side to the story unless there are bystanders. I hope i never have to kill anyone but if i get put in a situation of you or me, I will not hesitate to make sure i come home to my kids. I carry myself softly unlit im confronted with a situation though.


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## thepeartree (Aug 25, 2014)

Jeep said:


> I am having a real bad day. Very little of it has to do with this site, but there is some, which prompted me to make this thread.
> 
> I am going to properly introduce myself. My name is not Jeep, it is Mike. I am both a Marine and Soldier. I am both a former Deputy Sheriff from Los Angeles as well as a Correctional Officer in the California Prison system. I do suffer from PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) for those who do not know. Mine is not from what I did or participated in. It is from what I witnessed and saw, what one human being was willing to do to another. This post, this thread is for those of you that watch the news, that hear stories but have no first hand knowledge of anything horrendous.
> 
> ...


I've been saying this since day 1. If you're not in it to win it, you might as well give up now. The person who is mentally prepared to do whatever it takes will win every time. That's why I posted what I did. If any perp was trolling here looking for targets, I wanted them to know that my place should be on the bottom of the list.
...hmm. Skip that. Come on over. I could use some cash and whatever equipment you've got.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Shall I work on Pt 2.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

One thing that is great about age is you tend to mellow a bit. Not everyone does I did. Not that I will not do what needs to be done. I just am more like not to do something that does not need to be done.
When violence come to easy you need a break. Or help with it.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

One thing I've learned in my short ass life is that you never, under any circumstances, mess with an old guy. Period.

He will end you.


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## thepeartree (Aug 25, 2014)

Smitty901 said:


> One thing that is great about age is you tend to mellow a bit. Not everyone does I did. Not that I will not do what needs to be done. I just am more like not to do something that does not need to be done.
> When violence come to easy you need a break. Or help with it.


You will know you're too far gone when you start to enjoy violence (outside of football).


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

thepeartree said:


> You will know you're too far gone when you start to enjoy violence (outside of football).


 Scary turning point when you hit that fork in the road. I pray other take the right turn. This I know for a fact if you are sound by good soldiers you will be all right


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## thepeartree (Aug 25, 2014)

And nobody _ever _ accused me of getting mellow.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

Zed said:


> Mike,
> That was a real eye opener.
> After joining this forum, i started carrying a small neck-knife.
> But after reading this thread and a bit of introspection, i realized that my mentality is of that middle -class, white collar person, who runs away from small acts of aggression, so weak, timid. In truth i realized right now i may not even gather the courage needed to use this knife violently. I think i need to join a boxing class, just to prep mentally.


Find a great martial arts class, so amazing for your mental well-being.


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## HuntingHawk (Dec 16, 2012)

TorontoGal said:


> Find a great martial arts class, so amazing for your mental well-being.


Or a good shooting range.


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## thepeartree (Aug 25, 2014)

AND a good shooting range...


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## Newgvt (Dec 11, 2014)

Dwight, very well said, and jeep I agree with you too! I too went through and I guess will always go through hyper vigilance! Heck, at thanksgiving, my uncle Lynn, WWII marine was still jumpy!! But they are right, on here! Everyone should read the book "The gift of fear" I think you can still get it! It's the best book on situational awareness I have ever read, I used to by them and give them to cops when I was a firemen!! But mike brings up a point, all the land, solar, tomatoe plants, fire building skills bushcraft, none of it's worth a crap when they come too see what's going on or to see if you have weapons?? Whatever the scenario when it comes down to it it's gonna be you against them, especially if your off in the woods or distant new community! And they will come eventually! i don't mean to get off on a rant so I wont! Read the book it's great! Lol!! Thanks too all the veterans out their, I think their is going to be one more fight in all of us!!


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## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

That's my secret...I'm always angry!


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## Diver (Nov 22, 2014)

Situational awareness isn't just about protecting yourself from criminals or becoming violent. You need it just to drive defensively and avoid accidents. When the WTC was hit all I had was a sound in the distance to clue me in. If I had ignored it I would not be here today.


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

Denton said:


> If I could build a crew, the members would be found on this board.


yes, but do not pick the violent ones....they will get you killed


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Jeep said:


> I am having a real bad day. Very little of it has to do with this site, but there is some, which prompted me to make this thread.
> 
> I am going to properly introduce myself. My name is not Jeep, it is Mike. I am both a Marine and Soldier. I am both a former Deputy Sheriff from Los Angeles as well as a Correctional Officer in the California Prison system. I do suffer from PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) for those who do not know. Mine is not from what I did or participated in. It is from what I witnessed and saw, what one human being was willing to do to another. This post, this thread is for those of you that watch the news, that hear stories but have no first hand knowledge of anything horrendous.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the post Mike. It hits home. You nailed it perfectly.


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## Doc Holliday (Dec 22, 2012)

Mike, good advice! I learned this mindset when I was 6 years old.. I moved from Island Falls Me. to Oxnard Ca in the middle of a gang neighborhood because that was the only place my mother could afford (she had divorced my father for being abusive) and moved 4 kids and herself out here to get away from him. On my first day in this new place I got jumped by a group of mexican kids that were much older and got beat pretty bad. From that day I learned that I have to do what ever it takes to win in a fight no matter what, I have fought this way ever since.. I got into Martial arts back in the 70's and ever taught women how to defend themselves. I am an expert in the use of a knife and always have one on me...

Situational awareness is one of the things most that people have to learn and then how to defend themselves comes in a close second.

Good thread


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## NZKiwi (Nov 11, 2014)

Jeep said:


> Shall I work on Pt 2.


Hey Mike, I've been reading all your post in the forum and found out your devotion for nature. As been in the reserves I can relate to you however I never been to war. Nature here in New Zealand is everywhere. Mike I want to come here for a week at least and it will set your mind at peace. I met a lot of tourist and they call New Zealand heaven on Earth. If you haven't visit this little isolated island I would recommend it. If you have...nothing wrong coming here again right? 

Take care


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## tinkerhell (Oct 8, 2014)

"All that is required for the triumph of evil, is good men do nothing" - Edmund Burke


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## oddapple (Dec 9, 2013)

....or a skuddy kenyan front man...


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