# Hey Tourist



## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

@The Tourist This is for you. Thought you might get a kick.

*Knives- Variety Antique, Hand Forged, Handmade, Vintage & Custom*


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

I saw this post and it reminded me of when I drove trucks.
I remember parking my rig in the parking lot of the Patton museum at Chiriaco Summit, California. I would climb on top of the trailer and stare up at the stars. It was amazing. I never knew humans could see so many stars. People in Alabama can't see that many stars.
Speaking of stars, industrial lamps have ceramic rods at the heart of them. I use that rod to sharpen my knife. My favorite place to sharpen my knife is outside the local coffee shop which is across the street from the gym.
Speaking of gym, Jim and I used to ride bikes together. We rode and fondled knives while we talked about riding our bikes to the gym with our knives.
One day, my knife and I rode the bike to Chiriaco Summit and gazed at the stars, waiting for Patton's museum to open up so that I could explain to the ghost of Patton how he could have beat the Nazis with a polished knife.
But, I digress.
Where was I?
Speaking of Starbucks, do you see how the price of gas is going through the roof? Who can afford to polish a knife with such overhead? Really. Do you understand how much mayonnaise it takes to lube my bike's chain?
Speaking of mayonnaise, Clarise sent me a tick turd. She knows I love highlighting tick turds, so she sent me the latest in the best of tick turds. Of course, I immediately took them to the coffee shop where I shined them while sitting outside of the gym. By the way, let me know if you need your tick turds shined. I'm not just here to make posts that have nothing to do with the topic, I'm also here to get your tick turd polishing business. I promise, your tick turds will be at least as good as they look out of the tick turd box.
Excuse me while I send Clarise pics of my polished turds.


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

Can't tell if @Denton has too much time on his hands, or just the right amount...


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## Demitri.14 (Nov 21, 2018)

Denton needs to have his Meds adjusted


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

For a @Tourist thread, @Denton nailed it!


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Denton said:


> I saw this post and it reminded me of when I drove trucks.
> I remember parking my rig in the parking lot of the Patton museum at Chiriaco Summit, California. I would climb on top of the trailer and stare up at the stars. It was amazing. I never knew humans could see so many stars. People in Alabama can't see that many stars.
> Speaking of stars, industrial lamps have ceramic rods at the heart of them. I use that rod to sharpen my knife. My favorite place to sharpen my knife is outside the local coffee shop which is across the street from the gym.
> Speaking of gym, Jim and I used to ride bikes together. We rode and fondled knives while we talked about riding our bikes to the gym with our knives.
> ...


When I was growing up in Madison, all us Sicilians worked for Dad and one day I was at the mall with my Kimber and then sometimes my salmon is over cooked.

At the gym at 4 am we all knew the Hells Angels were the ones that did that thing at the Stones Concert but then we all sharpened our stilletos with the tailpipes of our choppers like the good boys after drinking some coffee.

Seems like its pretty cold today but the MC is toasty because the wood stove is always burning. Do you know Joyce? Tell her I said hello and she'll give you a smile. Then I began to reload some .45 LC for no particular reason then we moved to a better part of town.

Has anyone seen slippy lately?


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## KUSA (Apr 21, 2016)

Slippy said:


> When I was growing up in Madison, all us Sicilians worked for Dad and one day I was at the mall with my Kimber and then sometimes my salmon is over cooked.
> 
> At the gym at 4 am we all knew the Hells Angels were the ones that did that thing at the Stones Concert but then we all sharpened our stilletos with the tailpipes of our choppers like the good boys after drinking some coffee.
> 
> ...


You and Denton are a very rotten people.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

KUSA said:


> You and Denton are a very rotten people.


Now, hold on right there, pal. You'd have hurt our feelings if we had those things. Fortunately, we had those things removed a long time ago.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

Denton said:


> Now, hold on right there, pal. You'd have hurt our feelings if we had those things. Fortunately, we had those things removed a long time ago.


And in his case, isn't that sort of like the pot calling the kettle black?


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

inceptor said:


> And in his case, isn't that sort of like the pot calling the kettle black?


You know what? That’s racist. I’m gonna email HR on your ass.


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

@The Tourist, what have you done with Slippy and Denton? Let them out of their cages and give their devices back!


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)




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## KUSA (Apr 21, 2016)

Annie said:


> @The Tourist, what have you done with Slippy and Denton? Let them out of their cages and give their devices back!


He refused to polish their knives because they are rotten people. I can’t imagine why anyone would get irritated by hearing stories about Madison, Sicilian knives, Mall life, workout routines, and Joyce.

I mean, I feel like I know Joyce just from the stories here.

Again, Slippy and Denton and rotten people.


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## Buckman (Sep 24, 2020)

🤣 LMAO 🤣


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## Megamom134 (Jan 30, 2021)

I feel like I am reading a Tim Dorsey book featuring Serge Storms, if you have never read them you won't get the reference but the same type of dialog, ha


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Okay, now I'm lost. I thought I had added a new segment, and yet none of you seem to have seen it. Hey, *my bad*, I'll find the stuff and post it if I find it. I usually delete old stuff to save room on the computer and the typed texts.

If it helps, I have purchased some electrical fixtures for batteries and minor modifications. 

As for knives and light swords--come on, guys--would I forget about you?!!!!

Of course not. I love the smell of swarf more than you you guys do!--The Tourist


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

Mmmm!!
Swords!!!!
They rank right up there with bayonets for me!!!


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## KUSA (Apr 21, 2016)

The Tourist said:


> light swords


Is that anything like a light saber?


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

@The Tourist, what have you done with Slippy and Denton? Let them out of their cages and give their devices back! 

Just part of the plan, girl. When they step into their cages a "Sicilian device" will impact most of a city block.

Oh, it might seem like linguini, but it has that after taste of flying broken glass.

BTW, when a commoner like me does work for the moderators, do I get some remuneration for work well done? It's common in Milwaukee...


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## KUSA (Apr 21, 2016)

Is this a picture of you Tourist? If so, who took the picture?


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

Ohhhh, I’m not clicking on that!!’


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Yup, that's me. I was about 20 years old in that picture, and a woman from my art class was big into photographs. She snapped that shot right off the cuff, but I always likes it.


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