# Just a little help for my male friends



## dwight55 (Nov 9, 2012)

OK, guys, . . . here's the scoop.

As soon as your wife complains about her dryer making a loud squeaking sound, . . . go get 2 or three buckets of hand tools, . . . couple flashlights, . . . a hammer, . . . and a bottle of 80 weight oil with a squirter tube attached.

Pop the top off the dryer, . . . pull it out, . . . unplug it, . . . open it up, . . . vacuum it out, . . . bang on the back where it won't hurt with the hammer, . . . have your wife hand you at least 6 tools, . . . hand one back each time she gives you a new one. Don't let her see you put the tool into the dryer back, . . . it'll give it all away.

Then squirt about 6 drops of oil in the little hole in the dead center of the back, . . .it'll have black dust and oil around it to show you where it is.

Go get a doughnut and coffee, . . . look industriously at the book from cover to cover, . . .

Then go back and bang on it a couple more times, . . . put it back in place, . . . and go get another cup of coffee. If she asks, tell her, yeah you are done, . . . she may pick up the tools and vacuum the place while you are drinking that coffee.

The go back in and fire it up, . . . smiling that the screeching sound is gone.

You'll also be the hero of the year at your house.

May God bless,
Dwight


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

I have been the "hero" bout 4 times so far....then actually had to replace that wheel. $10 part, and fairly easy...but the oil extends it about 3 months at a time. If I had a press I'd just get a new bearing and press it into the existing wheel (about a $5 fix)...but i'm lazy like that.


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## RedLion (Sep 23, 2015)

Lol, gotta love you long term married "dudes." Even when I was married it was never an easy fix. Lucky men should just appreciate being lucky. Lol.


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## Michael_Js (Dec 4, 2013)

Last time I did that with our dryer - that I just changed from natural to propane, I shorted out something and we had to buy a new one! 

Peace,
Michael J.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Thanks Pastor Dwight,

Been lucky with Dryers unlucky with other stuff so I guess it all evens out in the end! :tango_face_wink:

Any advice for married men of post menopausal women? Asking for a friend...lain:


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Slippy said:


> Thanks Pastor Dwight,
> 
> Been lucky with Dryers unlucky with other stuff so I guess it all evens out in the end! :tango_face_wink:
> 
> Any advice for married men of post menopausal women? Asking for a friend...lain:


I find beef jerky work pretty well on Mrs Inor. If I say something wrong (like every time I open my mouth to say anything), I just give Mrs Inor a piece of beef jerky. Then I can usually get 1 or maybe even 2 sentences in before she tells me I am wrong.


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

Slippy said:


> Thanks Pastor Dwight,
> 
> Been lucky with Dryers unlucky with other stuff so I guess it all evens out in the end! :tango_face_wink:
> 
> Any advice for married men of post menopausal women? Asking for a friend...lain:


Remember to tell her she's still beautiful. :tango_face_smile:


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Yeah, I used to be mister fix it. These days, I call a guy and it's fixed in 20 minutes. Sure, I am out 200 bucks but I have a happy wife and I haven't spent all freakin day bitching and moaning while running back and forth getting parts for a damn dryer I should have replaced 2 years before. It's the same reason I don't work on my own cars anymore. Maybe I have more money then brains, or maybe I am just getting plain lazy in my old age, or both, but I am not spending my weekends under a car swearing or taking dryers apart no more. 

Besides, these days the hero in my wife's life is her pain meds and her doctor, and I am cool with that. If I am to be the hero, I would have to follow her orders and assassinate every insurance company and healthcare system bureaucrat on the planet with extreme prejudice, I am cool with that as well. :tango_face_wink:


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## rstanek (Nov 9, 2012)

My wife loves drama, when I fix something around the house, the more dramatic the better, I gives her a feeling that I actually accomplished something......


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## soyer38301 (Jul 27, 2017)

Annie said:


> Remember to tell her she's still beautiful. :tango_face_smile:


And make sure you put the seat down 

Sent from my SM-N960U using Tapatalk


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## hawgrider (Oct 24, 2014)

soyer38301 said:


> *And make sure you put the seat down*
> 
> Sent from my SM-N960U using Tapatalk


Oh hell no 50/50 at my house. I put it up she puts it down. Marriage for 40 years is 50/50


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

hawgrider said:


> Oh hell no 50/50 at my house. I put it up she puts it down. Marriage for 40 years is 50/50


I don't believe in my 58 years I have ever put a toilet seat down. I have never understood this one, I would expect he or she to survey the logistics of said seat before taking a squat.

When I encounter a seat down, I simply lift it up and wash my hands when I am done horse trading.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

hawgrider said:


> Oh hell no 50/50 at my house. I put it up she puts it down. Marriage for 40 years is 50/50


Marriage, over the course of time, becomes a negotiated peace. Don't fret over the insignificant, don't try to change someone you married as is, and give each other space.

It helps to pat her on the ass every now and again and tell her you want her right there on the kitchen table. :vs_smile:


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## Demitri.14 (Nov 21, 2018)

A Watchman said:


> I don't believe in my 58 years I have ever put a toilet seat down. I have never understood this one, I would expect he or she to survey the logistics of said seat before taking a squat.
> 
> When I encounter a seat down, I simply lift it up and wash my hands when I am done horse trading.


Do you wash your hands before or AFTER you grab the reigns? Something to think about ?


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

A Watchman said:


> I don't believe in my 58 years I have ever put a toilet seat down. I have never understood this one, I would expect he or she to survey the logistics of said seat before taking a squat.
> 
> When I encounter a seat down, I simply lift it up and wash my hands when I am done horse trading.


I never got this one either. Who squats without looking to see what they are squatting over unless your a @Sasquatch? :tango_face_grin:


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## Mad Trapper (Feb 12, 2014)

It's not always as easy as the dryer fix..............

GF purchased a mid-2000s buick, 3.8 transverse V-6 FWD.

Turns out it has a leaky power steering pump.

"Could you fill it up for me?" Sure, that should be easy......

I go to parts store with her for fluid. Open the hood up WTF!!!! Power steering pump is hidden underneath alternator and belts/pulleys nearly touching inner fender well.

So I start looking for a cap or dipstick.........none to be seen. I go back in parts store and ask if they have an idea of location of filler cap: "it's underneath the alternator".

Well I had brought disposable gloves along , good thing, everything has a cover of black oily crud. I can barely get one hand in between PS pump and alternator, something feels like a cap? After some contortions and nearly skinning a knuckle, I get the cap loose, then it fall down by the steering gear, at least I can see where it fell. I get a stick and poke it so I falls on the ground, then use the stick to sweep it out from under the car.

Cap is a typical PS cap w/built in dipstick. I'm not even considering trying to put the cap back on to check fluid level. I reach back to the pump and put a gloved finger into pump, no fluid.

How to get fluid in? Back inside parts store, to check selection of funnels and/or tubing. I find a small funnel that has a flexible long spout, this should work.......

Took about 5 minutes to make sure the funnel spout was actually inside the PS pump. I just filled it to the top, it's going to leak anyway. Getting the cap back on was another adventure, dropped it a few more times into engine bay and used the stick again to retrieve it.........finally got cap on.

At this point I'm finished, and one arm is black up to the elbow in grime. Other hand is still clean as could in no way use two hands to do the job.

I give the GF, the funnel, and rest of quart of PS fluid and said keep these in the trunk.

The PS pump will get changed as soon as we get some warm weather, but that won't be a quick job either.....


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## Mad Trapper (Feb 12, 2014)

A Watchman said:


> I don't believe in my 58 years I have ever put a toilet seat down. I have never understood this one, I would expect he or she to survey the logistics of said seat before taking a squat.
> 
> When I encounter a seat down, I simply lift it up and wash my hands when I am done horse trading.


I use my foot and never touch the seat. Wash hands when bladder has been drained.


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

Gee. I thought @dwight55 was going to suggest viagra. Shows how subject titles can be misleading.


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## Kauboy (May 12, 2014)

I have my own dryer antidotes.

First, the heating coil. If that thing breaks, it's ~$20 on Amazon. Just find the part number and it's a fairly straight forward swap out.
Second, if the heat is fine, but nothing is drying and it takes more than one run to complete, you need to clean out the whole vent system. For those of you lucky enough to have a horizontal vent, get a long wire and affix a brush to one end large enough to hit the sides, shove the other end into a drill, and auger away. (or by the handy kit at Lowes)
For those of you, like me, unlucky enough to have a vertical vent to the roof, you may be in for a treat... I recommend a day when the temp is sub-100, cuz it sucks otherwise. Climb up on the roof and survey the area near your dryer's location. You should find a chimney type opening with a cover over it. Within that cover should be screening that is jam packed with lint. Find the least destructive way of removing said cover/screen, and clean out all that old singed fluff. If you have to remove the chimney from the roof, like I did, be sure to be delicate with your shingles, and bring some outdoor-use silicone caulk to reseal the holes, tears, nail heads, and seams.
After the top is cleaned, but before reassembly, it's a good idea to run that same long brush apparatus down through the pipe to scrape the sides clean. A leaf blower at the bottom connector behind the dryer can add to the flair of the activity as you scatter fluff around the neighborhood via your new roof-mounted fluff spout.
After all is reassembled and sealed, you should have a working dryer again.

Good luck!


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Noted, on all counts. 
I am pretty handy, and do some repairs, on my own. 
I do also pay someone to do things, but I tell them up front "I'm not paying you to do this because I CANT do it, I am paying you because I don't WANNA DO IT.
I will be trenching my own 500 feet of gas line in the next few weeks. 
My wife and her boyfriend don't mind me working around the house, as long as I don't get in the way.


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Inor said:


> I find beef jerky work pretty well on Mrs Inor. If I say something wrong (like every time I open my mouth to say anything), I just give Mrs Inor a piece of beef jerky. Then I can usually get 1 or maybe even 2 sentences in before she tells me I am wrong.


Inor, what flavor? I'm due for a batch or three.


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## dwight55 (Nov 9, 2012)

A Watchman said:


> I don't believe in my 58 years I have ever put a toilet seat down. I have never understood this one, I would expect he or she to survey the logistics of said seat before taking a squat.
> 
> When I encounter a seat down, I simply lift it up and wash my hands when I am done horse trading.


Well, . . . we do the Hawg 50/50 here as well, . . . but during the first couple years of marriage it wasn't that way, . . . I hadda sit down and have a talk with her to convince her about the 50/50.

And it might have had something to do with the laughing fit I took the day she sat down and went wayyyyy, . . . wayyyyy down in, . . . and almost couldn't get back up and out, . . . cause her feet wouldn't touch the floor, . . . nothing to grab on to, . . . etc. etc.

I managed a straight face while she was bawling me out, . . . but as soon as I got outside, . . . well, you know the drill, . . .

Anyway, . . . either the heart to heart or the plunge, . . . one or both ended the seat up complaints.

May God bless,
Dwight


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## hawgrider (Oct 24, 2014)

dwight55 said:


> Well, . . . we do the Hawg 50/50 here as well, . . . but during the first couple years of marriage it wasn't that way, . . . I hadda sit down and have a talk with her to convince her about the 50/50.
> 
> And it might have had something to do with the laughing fit I took the day she sat down and went wayyyyy, . . . wayyyyy down in, . . . and almost couldn't get back up and out, . . . cause her feet wouldn't touch the floor, . . . nothing to grab on to, . . . etc. etc.
> 
> ...


Ruh oh stayed in the dog house that night I bet. :tango_face_smile:


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

Without a doubt, the best place to take a piss ... is outside.


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## T-Man 1066 (Jan 3, 2016)

Just be careful, before you know it your wife thinks you can fix ANYTHING.
We had a SUV that rusted out so bad the rear strut broke through the top mount. I said its time to replace the vehicle. She says 'you got a welder, just make a new mount'. Cant babe, the whole frame is rotted. Nothing to weld to. 'Your a machinist and fabricator, just make a whole new frame'. lain:


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Hell, there are some deal breakers when it comes to women. I once had an all night argument with an old girlfriend over which way the toilet paper should hang off the roll. She said it should be from the bottom, I said it should be from the top. I don't care how good the sex is, the toilet paper should roll from the top, she had to go. :tango_face_grin:


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## paulag1955 (Dec 15, 2019)

I hope you guys don't think you're fooling anyone when you dramatize household repairs. Just because your wife humors you it doesn't mean she's buying it.

We keep the seats down AND the lids closed at our house. Keeps the dogs from drinking from the toilets (at least that's how I explained it to the husband).


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

A Watchman said:


> Without a doubt, the best place to take a piss ... is outside.


We agree totally, and our seat is down all the time... but only for that which is best done inside. :vs_blush:


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

paulag1955 said:


> I hope you guys don't think you're fooling anyone when you dramatize household repairs. Just because your wife humors you it doesn't mean she's buying it.
> 
> We keep the seats down AND the lids closed at our house. Keeps the dogs from drinking from the toilets (at least that's how I explained it to the husband).


Let us have this! :vs_laugh:


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## paulag1955 (Dec 15, 2019)

Prepared One said:


> Let us have this! :vs_laugh:


Mmm...nope! :vs_smirk:


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

Prepared One said:


> Hell, there are some deal breakers when it comes to women. I once had an all night argument with an old girlfriend over which way the toilet paper should hang off the roll. She said it should be from the bottom, I said it should be from the top. I don't care how good the sex is, the toilet paper should roll from the top, she had to go. :tango_face_grin:


Well, aren't you fancy with a hanger and all. Our roll just sits on a close shelf. :tango_face_grin:


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## T-Man 1066 (Jan 3, 2016)

MountainGirl said:


> Well, aren't you fancy with a hanger and all. Our roll just sits on a close shelf. :tango_face_grin:


Had a cat that discovered the fun of unrolling toilet paper off the roll. He taught me that it comes off the bottom. Kitty can roll all day, no harm no foul.

Now before the "kill the cat' crowd comes with lanterns and pitchforks, I do like cats. Cats control mice. Dogs control intruders and liberals. Use the right tool for the right job.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

MountainGirl said:


> Well, aren't you fancy with a hanger and all. Our roll just sits on a close shelf. :tango_face_grin:


Nothing but the best for me. I take my library seriously. :tango_face_grin:


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## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

Prepared One said:


> I never got this one either. Who squats without looking to see what they are squatting over unless your a @Sasquatch? :tango_face_grin:


Keep poking the bear....or Squatch in this case.


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## paulag1955 (Dec 15, 2019)

T-Man 1066 said:


> Had a cat that discovered the fun of unrolling toilet paper off the roll. He taught me that it comes off the bottom. Kitty can roll all day, no harm no foul.
> 
> Now before the "kill the cat' crowd comes with lanterns and pitchforks, I do like cats. Cats control mice. Dogs control intruders and liberals. Use the right tool for the right job.


Our female shepherd used to love to unroll the TP when she was a puppy. Thankfully she got over it so that I didn't have to hang the toilet paper wrong.


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