# D_-n you old folks why can't you just die and get it over with



## SARGE7402 (Nov 18, 2012)

Didn't notice anything about treating their illnesses or improving their quality of life.

"If you meet their needs, treat their pain, treat their depression, get them some help in the house, your costs plummet"

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/18/s...-needs-sweeping-overhaul-panel-says.html?_r=0


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

Does this qualify as a death panel? Id like to take the time to thank Hillary for that. 
Social security is running out of money so instead of fixing the problem lets just get rid of the old people on it so freeloaders can get paid?


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

How else can you save billions in Medicare expenses? The bonus is when you kill off the old you save all that Social Security money also. Now it begins ....real death panels, indoctrination of our future physicians to believe in the humanity of ending life rather than preserving it. Kind of like throwing an unwanted sack of kittens into the river from a bridge. If you don't respect live in the beginning (conception) and you do not respect it in the end when do you respect it? Anyone think your safe in between if your not part of the ruling class?


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

Come and get me you young bastards!!!


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## Chipper (Dec 22, 2012)

I gotcha death panel for ya boys.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Just what is "an expert on aging"? Presumably, these "experts on aging" are not old guys, so they have no experience with what they claim to be experts in. Following that logic, I am an "expert" on female anatomy and should be given millions of government dollars for further study on chick stuff.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

I'm so disgusted with a friend of mine ( I don't speak to her anymore) who took her mom (she is perfectly lucid, just her body completely failed her) to one of those homes last year and never visits or calls her, not even on her birthday, it just makes me cry  This lady was at our wedding and always had a kind thing to say to us and knitted gloves and hats for my kids when they were babies. My husband and I visit her at least once per month with our girls with food, flowers, books..etc. It makes me sick that we're her only visitors, how can you just drop off your relative and forget about them, it's disgusting, why are there so many of these seniors homes here? Parents take care of their kids and kids have to take care of their parents, it's part of life, you can't abandon family.

Sorry for venting but this makes me sick


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

The worst thing about going to one of these seniors homes is seeing people sitting in the same spot and staring at TV's all day, all alone. I think some "homes' are better and offer better care and activities but they could never be your home, you're supposed to stay with family, period.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

TorontoGal said:


> I'm so disgusted with a friend of mine ( I don't speak to her anymore) who took her mom (she is perfectly lucid, just her body completely failed her) to one of those homes last year and never visits or calls her, not even on her birthday, it just makes me cry  This lady was at our wedding and always had a kind thing to say to us and knitted gloves and hats for my kids when they were babies. My husband and I visit her at least once per month with our girls with food, flowers, books..etc. It makes me sick that we're her only visitors, how can you just drop off your relative and forget about them, it's disgusting, why are there so many of these seniors homes here? Parents take care of their kids and kids have to take care of their parents, it's part of life, you can't abandon family.
> 
> Sorry for venting but this makes me sick


I live across the street from my parents. I am no fan of my home town, but I will be here as long as my parents are alive.

Last year, the widow next door died. She was well into her 80's. She had two children and neither came to visit her. Well, the daughter came once every few years, and the son never came. The daughter is in Texas, the son is only 25 minutes away.

A few months before she died, she got to where she couldn't be left by herself, so the son's wife quit her job as a nurse, took the old lady home and took care of her. She is the only reason the son saw his own mother as his mother was now living in his house.

A few weeks ago, the kids were in the neighborhood, plundering their mother's house. Any idea how civil I was when I walked over to say hello? I'll bet you can guess.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

TorontoGal said:


> ...how can you just drop off your relative and forget about them,...


I've got a couple of relatives that I would love to "drop off" somewhere and forget about them!


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

Slippy said:


> I've got a couple of relatives that I would love to "drop off" somewhere and forget about them!


I'm talking about helpless seniors


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

TorontoGal said:


> I'm talking about helpless seniors


I should pay attention to details more. My bad.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Sorry TG but Slippy had a point to make, I am sure he was full aware of whom you were speaking of. I too have some family I would like to take somewhere and not bring back.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

Sorry, I missed that


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

I am fortunate that I still have a grandfather at 44 years of age. He is my last Grandparent. However he lives with his second wife and to be Honest I wish he lived with someone else. He chased her for 5 years, she did not agree to marry him until he was diagnosed as being terminal with cancer. Now while I want him to be happy, the rest of the family is wathing a snake hide him from us and keep him isolated in a new state. She moved the man 1500 miles at 91 years old to a remote farm. No where near any of us.


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## CWOLDOJAX (Sep 5, 2013)

Somewhere I read that you don't want to pick a fight with an old man because if you win no one cares, but if you lose you'll never hear the end of it.

On a more serious note, one of our free-lance writers lives near London, and I asked him about the High death rate of 60-somethings in UK hospitals. He seemed to be OK with it.
He got mad at me when I suggested if he became a "colonist" (his smirky term for an American) he might live as long as he could.
He's retired now, at 69 yrs old. The Danger Zone.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

TorontoGal said:


> I'm so disgusted with a friend of mine ( I don't speak to her anymore) who took her mom (she is perfectly lucid, just her body completely failed her) to one of those homes last year and never visits or calls her, not even on her birthday, it just makes me cry  This lady was at our wedding and always had a kind thing to say to us and knitted gloves and hats for my kids when they were babies. My husband and I visit her at least once per month with our girls with food, flowers, books..etc. It makes me sick that we're her only visitors, how can you just drop off your relative and forget about them, it's disgusting, why are there so many of these seniors homes here? Parents take care of their kids and kids have to take care of their parents, it's part of life, you can't abandon family.
> 
> Sorry for venting but this makes me sick


We had my mom living with us for about a year and a half after my dad died. She had some health problems that made it impossible to continue living with us. Even with Mrs Inor's full time job being to keep our home, with me traveling all the time it was simply not possible for us to give her the care she needed. She has lived the last 7 years in a very nice assisted living place. I try to visit her every Saturday and for the most part am pretty good about making it. There are some times when I cannot due to a short turnaround at home (get in at midnight on Friday and have to fly out again at noon on Sunday). But I try to minimize those.

My mom has a pretty good life at the assisted living place. She has a little dog that she absolutely dotes over. She has a few friends that she hangs out with. She has even become friends with some of the workers at the place. There is one gal in particular, Kelly, that she has become very close with. Kelly quit working there about a year ago, but still stops by about once per month to take my mom out for breakfast.

I completely agree that it is sad when the kids just drop their folks off and are never involved in their lives again. But my point is, not all of "those homes" are bad and sometimes it is the only way our folks can get the care they need.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

We have a place called Highgate here that specializes in Dementia and Alzheimers, they have condos or single rooms to rent, so a couple can live there even if only one has the issues. It is well maintained and the staff down to maintenance are trained to be fully aware and courteous.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

I guess I have seen the worst of it


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

TG those are here too. However you seem to find the good in lots.


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

This thread turned kinda sad. I do agree with the opinion about just dropping them off, its kind of wrong. My ex fiance was a nurse and so is my mother. My ex's grandmother was in an assisted living and it wasn't a good one she fell and broke a bone and was in a wheelchair. They were charging thousands a month for substandard care. So they restored her house that was abandoned and my ex started taking care of her. There was an apartment upstairs. That's the good part. Where my mom works is terrible (nursing home) There are people there that can't really move by themselves, they have to be lifted in and out of beds and chairs by a machine. Its not much of a life.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

James m said:


> This thread turned kinda sad. I do agree with the opinion about just dropping them off, its kind of wrong. My ex fiance was a nurse and so is my mother. My ex's grandmother was in an assisted living and it wasn't a good one she fell and broke a bone and was in a wheelchair. They were charging thousands a month for substandard care. So they restored her house that was abandoned and my ex started taking care of her. There was an apartment upstairs. That's the good part. Where my mom works is terrible (nursing home) There are people there that can't really move by themselves, they have to be lifted in and out of beds and chairs by a machine. Its not much of a life.


Those situations break my heart.


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## CWOLDOJAX (Sep 5, 2013)

It is sad. I used to hold Protestant services at the retirement facility where my mother in law stays. 
Most of the residents live day to day wondering if someone will listen to their stories.
Imagine for yourself living in as comfortable place as you can afford and every day you learn things like;
-- Betty Lou at table 17 had a stroke. A bad one.
-- Mr Crawford died last Sunday. I don't if he had any siblings.

Many just love to hear you say they have a nice smile.

It is sad... But it can be treated with respect and kindness.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

I think I may have found an outlet for PTSD. I think I may tomorrow when I am done in town, go to a home and visit with someone. This was an inspiration


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

We too have taken care of our parents until they passed, (tho my Mom is still living, and say's she wants to go to a nursing home when the time comes).
A couple of times a year, I bring a box full of magazines to an assisted living/nursing home. The last time I did this, they werent going to take them, because they have to be current magazines, or some of the elderly will get confused about the time periods/seasons.
They did take them, but it made sense.


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## Jeep (Aug 5, 2014)

Right on Bag young Lady


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## James m (Mar 11, 2014)

Homes have a lot of security nowadays. There is a keypad and you have to enter a code to get in. When I was in high school if you went to a trip to an old folks home they took you to a waterpark at the end of the year. Maybe they will let you in and maybe they wont. Idk.


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

My Father-in-Law is 93 years old. He won't let anyone help him. He lives an hour away and I do plumbing work for him and yard work. The wife takes him to doctors appts. and cleans for him. He frequently gets crabby and snaps at us. We bought him a slick new walker with brakes and wheels. I may repossess it if he doesn't knock it off.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Not everyone is in the same boat here. Both of my parents died when I was 19. That was 10 years ago. That left it up to me and my brother to look after my grandparents. It simply couldn't be done. We had to find the best place we could for them that would accept medicaid and veterans benefits. My brother and I visited them as much as possible before they passed. We also made friends with and learned from the old timers who's families didn't bother. This is one of the big "unspoken problems" with our country today.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Arklatex said:


> Not everyone is in the same boat here. Both of my parents died when I was 19. That was 10 years ago. That left it up to me and my brother to look after my grandparents. It simply couldn't be done. We had to find the best place we could for them that would accept medicaid and veterans benefits. My brother and I visited them as much as possible before they passed. We also made friends with and learned from the old timers who's families didn't bother. This is one of the big "unspoken problems" with our country today.


You're a good man ArklaTex.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Slippy said:


> You're a good man ArklaTex.


Ditto that.


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## CWOLDOJAX (Sep 5, 2013)

Jeep said:


> I think I may have found an outlet for PTSD. I think I may tomorrow when I am done in town, go to a home and visit with someone. This was an inspiration


You will gain a friend, sir, the old fashion way.
Their short-term memory fades away as their long term memory is dominate. That will happen to all of us.
Ask questions about "way back when ___"
On your way home from there you will be glad you did it.


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## CWOLDOJAX (Sep 5, 2013)

csi-tech said:


> My Father-in-Law is 93 years old. He won't let anyone help him. He lives an hour away and I do plumbing work for him and yard work. The wife takes him to doctors appts. and cleans for him. He frequently gets crabby and snaps at us. We bought him a slick new walker with brakes and wheels. I may repossess it if he doesn't knock it off.


Those of us who are independent, self-reliant types maybe the same way.
The slow roll down to the grave is not a pleasant journey for those who prided themselves on being providers... and now have to surrender to pain and illness.
Also, seniors spend a lot of time "alone" - the only company they have are their own thoughts. Maybe you can work that out in some way.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

My 86 year-old aunt is still chopping wood and hunting, she lives just south of Kiev, where men die off at age 50 and women live past 100


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## Piratesailor (Nov 9, 2012)

Aging is tough. As the joke goes, old age is not for whimps. I think most of us commenting here know that and see it. I've seen it many many times, parents and inlaws (or outlaws in some cases) as well as being on the board of a non profit that addressed needs of the elderly. I could rant on but won't.

Bottom line is that aging and care is an individual choice with individual decisions with the family. It's not, nor should ever be, a government decision or criteria. That's just wrong... But then look at what is going on now in Amerika and it's not surprising.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Mrs Slippy's Dad often says "Whoever said these were the Golden Years was full of crap". He also gave me the tip that if you grow Okra next to Marijuana, the Okra's heat transmission will hide the Marijuana from the DEA helicopters.


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## Sockpuppet (Sep 6, 2014)

40 years later, the solution seems more palatable to a few.

View attachment 6719


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## big paul (Jul 14, 2014)

there is an old saying " old age dosent come alone". my late mother in law once said to me "paul, don't get old!" to which my answer was " I have to cos I don't fancy the alternative!"


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## CWOLDOJAX (Sep 5, 2013)

Simple.


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## Old Man (Dec 10, 2012)

TorontoGal said:


> I'm so disgusted with a friend of mine ( I don't speak to her anymore) who took her mom (she is perfectly lucid, just her body completely failed her) to one of those homes last year and never visits or calls her, not even on her birthday, it just makes me cry  This lady was at our wedding and always had a kind thing to say to us and knitted gloves and hats for my kids when they were babies. My husband and I visit her at least once per month with our girls with food, flowers, books..etc. It makes me sick that we're her only visitors, how can you just drop off your relative and forget about them, it's disgusting, why are there so many of these seniors homes here? Parents take care of their kids and kids have to take care of their parents, it's part of life, you can't abandon family.
> 
> Sorry for venting but this makes me sick


 and when TSHTF she will be one who has no problem with taking what you have. Hope she comes for me, I need the target practices


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## Sockpuppet (Sep 6, 2014)

TorontoGal said:


> I'm so disgusted with a friend of mine ( I don't speak to her anymore).......


I wouldn't consider someone a friend that you were disgusted and don't speak.


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