# No Job, No Unemployment



## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

Well! The best laid plans and all that happy horse crap...

I posted a couple of months ago that hubby got called home for a job. He still isn't working. Some snafu at the place he was working. Since he quit his job over yonder, he can't get unemployment (understandably so), so here we sit, living on my income which is about half of our basic living costs.

Half of me likes the challenge. I mean, this is along the lines of what we all plan for, right? We have a safety net and can borrow if we need it, so it's like a practice drill to see how things go. The other half of me is a mess. It's not so much about the money and the fact that after nearly divorcing for the same basic problems over the past 10 years (10 years this month, actually!), after all the struggling of him being gone for so long and all the progress I dug out of the rocky ground with my bare fricking fingers, _we're right back where we started as if none of this suffering was worth anything at all_, but that the dude's in my hair 24/7. ARGH!

So, we have some food and have been working like crazy to get the garden in. I don't think this jobless thing will last much longer, but if it does, I'm trying to hedge. The goat is in milk with another due next month. I traded and got 6 rabbits, one of which is due in a week so we'll have more meat. Right now, we can eat from home and don't need to buy hardly any groceries. I started baking bread and we're scavenging all the wood around the place so we have firewood since we can't afford to buy it for this winter.

I'm running out of time to write this, but I thought it might be fun to discuss some ways to make this work.


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

It sounds like you are doing absolutely everything you can. When the going gets tough, the tough get going must be your daily devotional. I think in this economy one has to perpetually reinvent themselves, learn new skills and accept jobs that others don't, or won't take. Subsistence is survival but it doesn't pay for the emergency appendectomy. Borrowing is just a temporary fix that will make things worse in the long run. A great deal depends on your locale. I know there aren't many jobs in the middle of a desert. I would certainly consider looking into some programs like SNAP etc. to get food on the table. There are also programs to get hubby back on track too. Your garden and bartering skills don't seem to require any honing. Keep up the good work!


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## jimb1972 (Nov 12, 2012)

Guess thats one way to test your preparedness, welcome to 1880. Good luck, at least it's not winter then your man would really be in your hair 24/7.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Be tough, be strong and keep doing the right thing! 

On a side note, I work out of my home office often and when I get bored me and dogs just follow Mrs. Slippy around Pied Piper style. Me and the dogs think its funny, Mrs. Slippy not so much. But what's she gonna do?

Also if your gonna work out of your home and wear your boxers and a nice button down shirt to attend a video conference, make sure you don't stand up before you turn the camera off. 

More words of wisdom from The Slipster!


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

Slippy said:


> But what's she gonna do?


Beat you on the nose with a rolled up newspaper, that's what! :lol:

Before he came home, I asked the question, "How can we cut this budget down some more?" Got my answer!


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## Reptilicus (Jan 4, 2014)

Hmmmm. hate to hear of your new hardships Indie. Don't know how many times I have heard of some type of SNAFU happening when the son-in-law seems to be "about" to get a job. I've always been of the opinion that if a man wants to work, he will find something to make some cash. It may not be what he wants to do but if it is contributing to the budget, then it is honorable work! JMO
Anyway, sounds like you have dug in and are doing what you can to deal with the situation which is good! As you said that is why we prepare, for the hard times. Just keep on hanging in there and things have a way of working themselves out. Wow, just got a mental flash of the kitten hanging onto the end of a rope, I'm sure you have seen the picture. Wishing you the best.....


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

Is he helping with the animals and garden?
Is he also out there actively looking for a job?
Are you taking care of yourself so that you will be healthy enough to care for your kids?

blessings of health wealth and happiness to you and yours!


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## Prepadoodle (May 28, 2013)

One can't always wait for the perfect job to present itself. At some point, one should take any job, then keep looking for a better one.

In the meantime, you could always rob liquor stores or mug tourists to make ends meet.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

Mug Hippy tourists! They never carry guns.


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## sparkyprep (Jul 5, 2013)

Keep your head up. Things will get better, because you are making them get better. Hard work and careful planning can get you through just about anything.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

PaulS said:


> Mug Hippy tourists! They never carry guns.


But they never have any money either. That's why they are hippies.


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## retired guard (Mar 7, 2013)

Struggling with a bind myself prayers for you and yours coming through OK.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Indie -

It sounds like you are working it exactly right. Keep plowing forward, something will break open soon and times will get better.

I always enjoy working from my home office as well. However, Mrs Inor tells me "it's too much of a good thing" when I make her dress up like a French Maid and feed me donuts on the good china. But like Slippy says, what's she gonna do?


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## oddapple (Dec 9, 2013)

Sounds like more skills and co-effort is what is needed. I think he needs to keep his day full doing any helpful or growing towards better independence thing. As a team. Or not.


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

Seriously. McDonalds, Burger King, changing tires, mowing yards, washing cars,..your man needs to do something to help out. A challenge is only challenging for so long. Then it becomes a burden. 
Maybe if you tell him YOUR going to get a second job, he'll feel guilty enough to go find something. 
Meanwhile, we're here for you.


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Indie, best wishes, I hope it works out. I seriously hope he is doing his share and then some, around the place. If not, you know what to do, no matter how hard it is! Contribute, or kick rocks...


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

Thanks, everyone. This scenario, which has played out way too many times in our marriage, is why I started prepping. I very sweetly told him the other day that he doesn't want me to discover I can provide for those kids by myself. In the meantime, I'm getting stronger, more confident and more skilled.


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## nephilim (Jan 20, 2014)

I've been there. Tell him to haul ass to the neighbours and ask them for yard work or DIY jobs in return for some cash. I did it last summer (before gaining employment), and it helped. I tended my neighbours garden and got 1/4 of the harvest of his crops (chilis, peas, beans, carrots etc). It was a good deal IMO, because I would spend half hour to an hour a day tending his garden, weeding and watering, shooting any rabbits etc (which I took home for the pot), and he got someone to look after his garden during the day when he wasn't home.

Also with some other neighbours, it gave them a chance to get some jobs done around the house they'd been putting off, like putting up shelves, fixing a leak or whatever. It all got done (less the laundry, that was where I drew the line). In a given day I was able to spend 5 hours working, in return made £30 a day (yeah it isn't much, but 6 days a week, it was £180), which covered a months shopping, and the gas and electric bills for the month, the next weeks one went on saving paying other bills like the telephone, and internet etc.

Get him to do that or along those lines.


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## pastornator (Apr 5, 2013)

This probably won't make you feel any better, but my wife and I went through similar circumstances early on in our marriage (except the not getting along part -- we've been blessed in that regard as we are each other's best friend, with 40 years of practice to prove it!). We both lost jobs due to the heavy recession and went from living high on the hog to looking for a hog to kill so we could eat another day. We survived 3 years off-grid with a new baby in the house and no sooner did I get a new job and it too crapped out and we went another year and a half before something broke.

It is amazing how one can survive on a little bit of nothing, but here is the key (at least the one we found): One must wake up in the morning realizing that TODAY we must do what we must do in order to be warm and enclosed, drink water, feed the baby, and then, hopefully, eat ourselves at least once, and so much better if twice. So, we kept the fire warm both to cook and for heat (much of this time was in winter in Wisconsin!), we scavanged food and yes, there was a lot of "meat roast" of "critters" that shall remain un-named because they are not in season all the time... Fish was good... Snow melts for water. Lanterns work for light, and we traded labor for stuff we REALLY needed like milk for the baby, kerosene for the lamps, a bit of gasoline so we could get out if need be, etc. I fixed cars, did home repairs, sold scrap, etc., to make it. We did... Not fun, but we learned that we could actually live off the land with essentially no income except what we could scrounge up on a day-to-day basis.

Later in life, with added job skills, I was able to turn an average of $500 or more a week, and sometimes per day, doing odd jobs that took skill (like wiring homes, rebuilding cars, welding, etc.). In a true off-grid SOCIETY things would be slightly different, but everyone would be in the same boat and rather quickly either a tribal or village concept would return rather quickly, for that IS the sustainable model throughout human history.


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

Thanks, nephilim and pastornator. It really is an ideal time, as it were, for something to happen, because we're just heading into planting season and there's lots of time to forage/scavenge/etc. before winter. We also ended this winter with a surplus of wood. Worst case is that I lose my pickup, our only debt. That would break my heart though. :lol:


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

You may not want to do this, but it sounds like you qualify for assistance since you have kids. But, then again, they may turn you down since you do work. I don't know. It pisses me off that people who do work and try to better themselves end up last in line to get any government help. I wish you the best. Let us know how it goes.


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

I agree. There is a lot of help for those who just don't feel like earning their keep. We're okay for now food wise, but it's nice knowing that's an option if things get really bad. I think I'm going to give him a two-week ultimatum to get something here or head back out of state.


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## PalmettoTree (Jun 8, 2013)

indie said:


> Well! The best laid plans and all that happy horse crap...
> 
> I posted a couple of months ago that hubby got called home for a job. He still isn't working. Some snafu at the place he was working. Since he quit his job over yonder, he can't get unemployment (understandably so), so here we sit, living on my income which is about half of our basic living costs.
> 
> ...


Employers have this motto. People that want a job have a job just not the one they want. Or if you are too good to work beneath you you are too good to work.

If your husband is not bringing in any money you have a child not a man.


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

PalmettoTree said:


> If your husband is not bringing in any money you have a child not a man.


Yes, but I pledged my life to that child, made my bed and now I'm lying in it. He's also the father of my three small kids who are already hurting enough for having him gone. No easy answers to that one, unfortunately. I spent the past year and a half trying to figure my way out of this mess and I'm no closer to an answer.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

indie said:


> Yes, but I pledged my life to that child, made my bed and now I'm lying in it. He's also the father of my three small kids who are already hurting enough for having him gone. No easy answers to that one, unfortunately. I spent the past year and a half trying to figure my way out of this mess and I'm no closer to an answer.


You are a strong, capable person. You'll make it just fine.

There is power in prayer also.


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## ekim (Dec 28, 2012)

If your man isn't holding up his fair share then he is bringing down you and the kids to a lower level. Things would have to be really bad for him not to be able to find any type of work. No man or woman should be above any honest work when they're family is at risk. Time to suck it up and shovel shit if that's what it takes.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

Here is something to consider, I don't know what he does but can he do it on the side for extra money? Self employment also looks good on the resume. Employers like it better when there are no gaps in employment, including self employment.


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

That's a good idea, inceptor. I'll talk to him about it today.


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## ekim (Dec 28, 2012)

indie said:


> That's a good idea, inceptor. I'll talk to him about it today.


Unless I am mis reading your situation you are in a bad time in your lives. It is time to pull up your pants and take control now. Do not talk, tell him what needs to be done and go do it. Things will only get worse if you / him can't get this under control now. Your kids can and will see what is going on and they will come to understand that you both are doing what must be done to preserve the family, and that is the top priority. Your marriage and family will fail if you both don't do what needs to be done. Prepping time is over, it's time to act while you still have some preps to help carry you through. I've said my peace, you have been given advice by many here. What are YOU going to do?


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

We've been in a bad time in our lives for most of the ten years we've been married. Such is life with him. Poverty and unemployment. I told him today two weeks for a job or move out. 

As for what I'm going to do, it's the same thing I've been doing. I work 20-30 hours a week, raise the kids, fail at homeschooling, tend the garden, care for the animals and hope I can get up to do it all over again. I've been sick half a dozen times in the past two months. I don't have much left to give. I don't have many more ideas. I can't make him become a man. I can learn more skills to do things myself for less money. I can raise more food. What else should I be doing, Mike?


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## ekim (Dec 28, 2012)

indie said:


> We've been in a bad time in our lives for most of the ten years we've been married. Such is life with him. Poverty and unemployment. I told him today two weeks for a job or move out.
> 
> As for what I'm going to do, it's the same thing I've been doing. I work 20-30 hours a week, raise the kids, fail at homeschooling, tend the garden, care for the animals and hope I can get up to do it all over again. I've been sick half a dozen times in the past two months. I don't have much left to give. I don't have many more ideas. I can't make him become a man. I can learn more skills to do things myself for less money. I can raise more food. What else should I be doing, Mike?


A proud person and a loving parent will ask for help when needed. You may or may not be a religious person but that shouldn't stop a parent from seeking a helping hand from others. Never feel that you are stooping to ask for help, we all have done it at some time. Getting on bended knee is not beneath any of us. Who on this forum do you know personally? If you are in the position you say, and times are that bad, I for one am willing to offer some help, be it only a limited monitary offer and will start a thread to seek other to step up where they can. I will start here, Fellow preppers, one of our own is in need of a helping hand.


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

Oh, Mike, you're making me cry. Thank you. Those words aren't really enough, but thank you. For right now, we're okay. I had saved up a little bit and I'm still working. We have through June at least. I can find a way to stretch it more if I have to.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

indie said:


> We've been in a bad time in our lives for most of the ten years we've been married. Such is life with him. Poverty and unemployment. I told him today two weeks for a job or move out.
> 
> As for what I'm going to do, it's the same thing I've been doing. I work 20-30 hours a week, raise the kids, fail at homeschooling, tend the garden, care for the animals and hope I can get up to do it all over again. I've been sick half a dozen times in the past two months. I don't have much left to give. I don't have many more ideas. I can't make him become a man. I can learn more skills to do things myself for less money. I can raise more food. What else should I be doing, Mike?


Mike. Ekim. Dang, am I the dense one. :lol:

Indie, Inceptor nailed it. Prayer. Dad knows where you are and what is happening. Pray! Get close to Him! He is your rock and your reason, especially when men fail you.

Pray for health, strength and guidance, and pray for your husband.

Dad really does want you to talk to Him, to follow Him and get close to Him. He loves you dearly.


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

Here's a little interesting story about that. We'd been praying for him to come home and trying to get things in order to make it work. At Bible study one Wed night, one of the gals prayed that I would be able to make it to the women's retreat (this weekend) because I needed someone to watch the kids. The very next morning, after he'd been gone a year and a half, he got called to come home to take this job, which obviously fell through. So here we sit, and this retreat is coming up today and I somehow hope that it was all because something amazing is supposed to happen there this weekend and after it's over he'll get a job. Maybe? Maybe??


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

indie said:


> Here's a little interesting story about that. We'd been praying for him to come home and trying to get things in order to make it work. At Bible study one Wed night, one of the gals prayed that I would be able to make it to the women's retreat (this weekend) because I needed someone to watch the kids. The very next morning, after he'd been gone a year and a half, he got called to come home to take this job, which obviously fell through. So here we sit, and this retreat is coming up today and I somehow hope that it was all because something amazing is supposed to happen there this weekend and after it's over he'll get a job. Maybe? Maybe??


It very well could be. I'm praying for the best to happen!


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## Guest (May 16, 2014)

indie said:


> Well! The best laid plans and all that happy horse crap...
> 
> I posted a couple of months ago that hubby got called home for a job. He still isn't working. Some snafu at the place he was working. Since he quit his job over yonder, he can't get unemployment (understandably so), so here we sit, living on my income which is about half of our basic living costs.
> 
> ...


Keeping details hidden is important I understand. But if he is not yet 36 why doesn't he join the military? Pardon my ignorance to your situation but if it is a option for him to do he should do this. Another option if your only debt is your car if for him to get a student loan and get a trade degree like nursing, welding, plumbing, electrician. Any thing in the medical arena is highly sought after like pharmacy tech, physicians assistant, dentist assistant ect. These trades only take a year to two years to complete.

I myself am having trouble finding good work. I work at a grocery store...and I have a degree in history. Times are tough but if he really is willing to take a shit job I'm sure he could find work at Kroger or one of their affiliates across the nation. They are very aggressive with recruiting. It is not good pay at first but if he is a hard worker he can move up into management. This is my goal as I am pursuing my masters . I hope the best for you your children and your husband. Do not give up on him, he needs your support. If his heart is in it to find work god will provide him one.

On a side note what kind of breads have you made? I was a baker before moving grocery stores and could help with some pointers. One thing I did not know a while ago was the process on scoring bread. Scoring it helps create a nice outside crust and maintaining its form. My first day I baked French bread and forgot to score the top...my bread deflated lol...another good way to process the dough if you have patience is cold fermentation or proofing before you let the yeast activate more through warmth.


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## nephilim (Jan 20, 2014)

If I could export some stuff...I would send a few of my pickles and preserves for you. I went through a month with no money for food and we demolished our preps. It made me realise I need more space for growing so will be doing more. 

If you can grow somewhere, you should be. Windowsills for plants which give fruits like tomatoes and strawberries etc. Cupboards to get potatoes going (read up on potato chitting to get good crops of spuds). 

If there is a community PayPal address I am happy to put a few dollars in (what I can spare). Wouldn't be much but the admins could then give to whoever needed it.

I am not a religious man so I shallnt pray for you, but I do wish you the absolute best. Also...grab your husband by his nuts and tell him to go out and ask for odd jobs for cash. Even at minimum wage rates, it's better than bringing in nothing and getting worse because you can't find a job (again, I know from experience).


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

He's not quite 36, but was DQed for medical reasons when he tried to enlist. I think I'd actually rather be poor than a military wife. The rules and all. :lol: But he did try a few years ago!

I'll do some digging on school programs. He doesn't read so that's been a barrier but he's good at labor jobs. Sometimes, do you wish you could go back and slap your younger self up'side the head and lay out a list of dating rules? 

As for bread, this is the recipe I tried and we really like: Soft 100% Whole Wheat Sandwich Bread - An Oregon Cottage. I have always just used the dough cycle on the bread machine and then baked them in the oven, but doing it all by hand is so easy! Instead of oil, I use one egg in the above recipe. Makes a good loaf that is easy to slice and mmmmm.

Thanks, nephilim! Pickles. I'm getting hungry again. We actually planted a ton this year. Well, for us. The garden is about 2x what it was last year. Not a whole lot extra for preserving but we're getting there. We also added 7 fruit trees and about 100 berry plants, but none of those will produce this year. It's all progress though. There's about a year's worth of meat in the freezer and after looking over what we have again, I bet I could keep us going for close to 6 months. Just bought 500# of chicken food right before so we have meat and eggs through this year. All in all, I think we're in decent shape that way.

After telling him to get a job or move out in two weeks, I decided that wasn't good enough :lol: and told him he needs to go stay with his Mom starting this week so he can try to get a job where she lives, a couple hours away. I am looking forward to the break from him more than I care to admit. :O


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

indie said:


> He's not quite 36, but was DQed for medical reasons when he tried to enlist. I think I'd actually rather be poor than a military wife. The rules and all. :lol: But he did try a few years ago!
> 
> I'll do some digging on school programs. He doesn't read so that's been a barrier but he's good at labor jobs. Sometimes, do you wish you could go back and slap your younger self up'side the head and lay out a list of dating rules?
> 
> ...


OK, I will state my opinion on this. I see you told him he should live with his mother (which means move out). I don't claim to know everything but have experience in a lot of areas. I have had MANY different type of occupations. I have worked offshore on oil rigs as a diver,tugboats as a mate,railroad as a locomotive engineer(after going through training) and as a manager of a few of the largest veg/produce packinghouses in the US.. Now I run a beef cattle ranch in Montana that are bigger than most counties.

The thing is. He has to be willing to work and even change what he is doing.. People say they can't get a job. That is COMPLETE BULLSHIT!Even here in BFE Montana. I hear jobs on the radio several times a day. Even paying upwards of $20-$30 and MORE an hour... Some are jobs that pretty much anyone can do. The thing is. You have to be willing to relocate and actually work for the money.. I hear it all the time. I have friends back in Florida that say they can't find work. I tell them. There are even ranching jobs here in Montana (and all over the USA). that are hiring. They might not make you rich by paying $1400-$2000 a month. But they also give you a nice house to live in, pay your utilities including phone,cable and internet and even most of your groceries. So actually, you make "decent" money and have NO BILLS... BUt very few people are willing to leave their "comfort" zone.. They would rather make shitty income and live somewhere that has more ammeneties than make a little better and live in BFE...

If he was a REAL man. He would be willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to support his family. IMO, you are better doing it on your own!.. I wish you the best!


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

I just wanted to pop in quickly and say that I'm heading out for the weekend so I probably won't be able to reply. A whole two days. Without my kids. I've never stayed away from my kids except when I was having more of them. :lol: Aieeee!

So I might be home tomorrow and responding.  Have a good weekend, all!


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## jimb1972 (Nov 12, 2012)

I drove a garbage truck while laid off one time, the job stunk but it paid $750 a week 5 years ago and half the employees did not read or speak English.


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

jimb1972 said:


> I drove a garbage truck while laid off one time, the job stunk but it paid $750 a week 5 years ago and half the employees did not read or speak English.


You do whatever you have to! Whatever it takes to pay the bills. I even worked part time at a dive shop to help out and int he process was able to pick up side jobs cleaning sailboat hulls making good money. You do whatever it takes and if you don't you are a very sorry human! Especially if you are a man supporting a woman or even family..


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## PalmettoTree (Jun 8, 2013)

Let me be the bad guy. I would call the place he did not go to work at but I would call there and ask to speak with him.

This whole thing does not pass the smell test.

If I am all wrong I apologize.


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## bigdogbuc (Mar 23, 2012)

Beach Kowboy said:


> OK, I will state my opinion on this. I see you told him he should live with his mother (which means move out). I don't claim to know everything but have experience in a lot of areas. I have had MANY different type of occupations. I have worked offshore on oil rigs as a diver,tugboats as a mate,railroad as a locomotive engineer(after going through training) and as a manager of a few of the largest veg/produce packinghouses in the US.. Now I run a beef cattle ranch in Montana that are bigger than most counties.
> 
> The thing is. He has to be willing to work and even change what he is doing.. People say they can't get a job. That is COMPLETE BULLSHIT!Even here in BFE Montana. I hear jobs on the radio several times a day. Even paying upwards of $20-$30 and MORE an hour... Some are jobs that pretty much anyone can do. The thing is. You have to be willing to relocate and actually work for the money.. I hear it all the time. I have friends back in Florida that say they can't find work. I tell them. There are even ranching jobs here in Montana (and all over the USA). that are hiring. They might not make you rich by paying $1400-$2000 a month. But they also give you a nice house to live in, pay your utilities including phone,cable and internet and even most of your groceries. So actually, you make "decent" money and have NO BILLS... BUt very few people are willing to leave their "comfort" zone.. They would rather make shitty income and live somewhere that has more ammeneties than make a little better and live in BFE...
> 
> If he was a REAL man. He would be willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to support his family. IMO, you are better doing it on your own!.. I wish you the best!


Damn BK...how do I get one of those jobs?


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

bigdogbuc said:


> Damn BK...how do I get one of those jobs?


Which ones? There are jobs all over. A lot you don't even need experience(but it helps) You just have to be willing to relocate! Believe it or not. Most people aren't willing to do that.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Beach Kowboy said:


> Which ones? There are jobs all over. A lot you don't even need experience(but it helps) You just have to be willing to relocate! Believe it or not. Most people aren't willing to do that.


Hell, I literally relocate every week! If you are not WILLING to do whatever it takes to feed your family, you cannot really call yourself a man, can you?


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## MrsInor (Apr 15, 2013)

Inor said:


> Hell, I literally relocate every week! If you are not WILLING to do whatever it takes to feed your family, you cannot really call yourself a man, can you?


My hero.


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## BagLady (Feb 3, 2014)

indie said:


> We've been in a bad time in our lives for most of the ten years we've been married. Such is life with him. Poverty and unemployment. I told him today two weeks for a job or move out.
> 
> As for what I'm going to do, it's the same thing I've been doing. I work 20-30 hours a week, raise the kids, fail at homeschooling, tend the garden, care for the animals and hope I can get up to do it all over again. I've been sick half a dozen times in the past two months. I don't have much left to give. I don't have many more ideas. I can't make him become a man. I can learn more skills to do things myself for less money. I can raise more food. What else should I be doing, Mike?


I know what your going thru. I've been there. It's scary to be responsible for children and face doing it by yourself. I would suggest that you consider down sizing (animals, bills, etc.,) first, to make life more managable. Hopefully you have a support system (family or friends) near by who can help with the kids. School is out in a week here, so I wouldnt worry too much about that now. If you can find a female roomate, you might get some financial help that way, or give her a room in exchange for babysitting. As head of house hold, you will qualify for foodstamps, and he will be required to pay child support.
Being independent will make you feel so much better. Stay focused. Set yourself a goal or two; (ie: In 2 months I will have $ in a savings acct. for b-days or x-mas) 
Tape a note on your bathroom mirror that say's "I can do this!!"


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

I truly believe in the power of prayer. It has always worked. I also believe in positive imagery. If we all see her as secure and successful in just four weeks it will happen. I am using the image of a Norman Rockwell family picture to help this come to pass. Use whatever image of a happy, healthy and secure family and then put her name to it.


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

Inor said:


> Hell, I literally relocate every week! If you are not WILLING to do whatever it takes to feed your family, you cannot really call yourself a man, can you?


EXACTLY!! I see people all the time saying "I wouldn't do that'. Hell, to me a truck that cleans porta johns is about the dirtiest job I can think of right now. As much as I would hate it, I would drive that truck and clean those toilets as long as I had to to take care of my fiance.. Anyone that wouldn't do WHATEVER IT TAKES to take core of theirs. Arew sorry pieces of shit that should be smacked in the head with a ****in hammer and then put into a wood chipper...

You do whatever you have to if you want to take care of your loved ones!! It is very simple.

I had a guy in Florida that hasn't worked in almost a year ask me if I could get him a job here in Montana. I finally found him one. I called him and told him about it. It wasn't goin to make him rich but paid about $2,000 a month but also supplied him with a 4br 3ba house with all utilities including cable and internet and even most of his groceries. On top of that was a vehicle and hunting rights for him and his friends.. He told me he just met a girl a few weeks ago and wasn't willing to make the move... So **** him!!! Last I heard she left him for some other guy and he is still unemployed. He sent me an email a week or so ago asking if the job was still available. I told him no. I gave it to someone else. Which is true.. But **** him... People are VERY ****ING STUPID!! I will help ANYONE but if they aren't willing to help themselves, I couldn't give a shit if they were to jump off of a cliff!!


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## indie (Sep 7, 2013)

Okay, I'm back. I think I might write another post about the experiences of this weekend. They were profound, I'll say that much, and my suspicion that his coming home was for this weekend is probably true. It was pretty important.

I've been feeling worse and worse about this thread as it continued on. I started it to talk about ways to keep going with such a reduced income. You know, like foraging, etc. etc. etc. We had some of that discussion but it derailed into a husband bashing thread, which was never my intent and it's kind of cast a black cloud over me. So I want to explain a few things about our situation to clear up the husband hating some, and then I'd like to either close this thread or get it back to what it was supposed to be, because the negativity isn't helping.

Without going into too many details, I can assure you that yes, he was called home for a job from a new guy working that part of the organization. The guy thought he was on one list but he was actually on another that they haven't gotten to yet. He has been applying to other jobs, but this is the job he really wants and at some point in the future, he _will_ get hired. We just don't know when. So he could go back out of state, but then they might call to hire him. That's why he's still here 2 months later.

My bitterness and anger is less to do with what's going on now and more about what's happened before. This time, it wasn't his fault. I am behind that 100%. But before, it has been his fault, many times. So all I've been seeing now is all that past crap and I'm angry and hurting and out of hope. But I was wrong and this negativity toward him now is wrong. I told him that last night, in tears, so now I'm saying it here because I don't like what I've said here about it.

Now, my burden is lifted and I am at peace. We've got this. God's got this. I'll let you know when he gets a job. It will be soon.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

Welcome home Indie!

Don't feel too bad - we all need to rant sometimes - it helps us put things in perspective.

I am glad you are at piece but more glad you are back with us!


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## Michael_Js (Dec 4, 2013)

Prayers, strength and comfort...it that doesn't help - ask for more! 

hang in there!! And, welcome back!

Help is here if you need it!


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

Put another way............ The good things in life are not easy. They require hard work. My wife and I have made our fair share of mistake. Ok, maybe me doing the lions share of making mistakes. There were times when we didn't think we would make it.

Last November we hit 25 yrs. We are best friends. The end result was we made it. It took both of us working at it and we got through it. I have been truly blessed. We still enjoy each others company. Growing old together is the frosting on the cake.


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## pastornator (Apr 5, 2013)

North Dakota is open for business and hiring at at fantastic rate! Their state unemployment percentage is 2.6% compared to the national average many times that level.

They need, well, EVERYONE from moms who can run day care to oil field workers, truck drivers, etc. Pay is HIGH and ND is good prepping country, far from population centers, etc.

Job Service North Dakota

North Dakota Fracking Jobs | Fracking Jobs


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