# Prepper divorce



## Seneca (Nov 16, 2012)

Any tips for the married prepper that finds themselves getting a divorce from their non prepper spouse.


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## tirednurse (Oct 2, 2013)

Seneca said:


> Any tips for the married prepper that finds themselves getting a divorce from their non prepper spouse.


Any kids? I would move as far away as possible and not let him have a clue where.


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## Maxxdad (Feb 5, 2014)

I didn't loose any guns in the last divorce but I did loose a large jenny. Prep items = $. In most states everything in total is joint property and a product of the union. It will be a give and take discussion. Try to protect your Prep investment.


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## sparkyprep (Jul 5, 2013)

If you are a man, you are screwed. Be ready.


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## tango (Apr 12, 2013)

Try to protect yourself as best you can
Kids involved?
Makes a huge difference
Anything acquired since marriage will be joint property, something to consider


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

Deflect as much anger and contention as possible. Grudges and ire will work against you. Damage control is essential.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

sparkyprep said:


> If you are a man, you are screwed. Be ready.


oh come on, really. I left a very wealthy man. took nothing. I mean nothing after 10 yrs of marriage. It is possible to get a divorce with out skinning and getting skinned. its also possible to do it with out a smear campaign. I did it, many people do it.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

Not knowing what stage you're at, hard to say. When I saw things coming apart I rented a storage unit and started to fill it with whatever I could without letting on. She was never too concerned anyway, hey, I sold this or that to joe blow to pay bills. On her behalf, I was on vacation when the hearing came up, she wanted nothing, even after the judge said you could ask for $1.00 a month and up it if I hit the lotto!! Have to respect the gal for that! Wish I would've hit the lotto though


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## sparkyprep (Jul 5, 2013)

shotlady said:


> oh come on, really. I left a very wealthy man. took nothing. I mean nothing after 10 yrs of marriage. It is possible to get a divorce with out skinning and getting skinned. its also possible to do it with out a smear campaign. I did it, many people do it.


You are the exception, not the rule.


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## Nathan Jefferson (May 11, 2013)

Seneca said:


> Any tips for the married prepper that finds themselves getting a divorce from their non prepper spouse.


Caches out in the wilderness only need to be split if the world ends . Time to do a lot of midnight gardening?


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

When I left my ex, I was making mid six figures. I left the company I was with, gave my ex everything except my 72 cj5 Jeep and $500 cash and started over.. I left her everything in the account... I never wanted to be the dickhead that screwed over the woman.. I started over and was doing excellent till the crash in 08.. Try to make as much as you can while not screwing over anyone is my best advise!! You can ask any of my ex's, I never cheated or screwed them over... Always take the high road in a breakup....

Just walk away and start over!!!!


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## Smokin04 (Jan 29, 2014)

Whats the real worry here? If she's not a prepper, the thought of taking your preps wont even be on her mind...unless she's vindictive. If that's the case, get a storage unit and lock them up. 

A little more information is needed to recommend courses of action.


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## PalmettoTree (Jun 8, 2013)

Seneca said:


> Any tips for the married prepper that finds themselves getting a divorce from their non prepper spouse.


Sorry, for your current circumstance. You have not given enough information to reply to your question.

In general put it behind you and move on. If you have children and your spouse is not abusive or an addict, then work it out. Your child has a right to two parents.


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## Seneca (Nov 16, 2012)

Thanks for the replies, My wife wants the separation, no kids although we have adults kids that can still act like children at times. So far its amicable to the extent that there are no heated conversations or arguments (fingers crossed) and I hope it stays that way, neither of us are the argumentative type so there is a good chance that won't be a problem.. A legal separation is in the works, at least that would allow time for a second look to be sure and if not, then time to sort out the accumulation of 23 years of marriage. Sad really, and I'm not on board with it. It is not my decision so I don't have much of a choice either. I agree with taking the high road and no BS. It is going be tough enough as it is.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

Seneca said:


> Thanks for the replies, My wife wants the separation, no kids although we have adults kids that can still act like children at times. So far its amicable to the extent that there are no heated conversations or arguments (fingers crossed) and I hope it stays that way. A legal separation is in the works, at least that would allow time for a second look to be sure and if not, then time to sort out the accumulation of 23 years of marriage. Sad really, and I'm not on board with it. It is not my decision so I don't have much of a choice either. I agree with taking the high road and no BS. It is going be tough enough as it is.


It's going to be nothing short of a heartbreaker. Been there twice. Keep your cool and work to be friends after the dust settles.

I hate it for you, I really, really do.


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## PalmettoTree (Jun 8, 2013)

Seneca said:


> Thanks for the replies, My wife wants the separation, no kids although we have adults kids that can still act like children at times. So far its amicable to the extent that there are no heated conversations or arguments (fingers crossed) and I hope it stays that way, neither of us are the argumentative type so there is a good chance that won't be a problem.. A legal separation is in the works, at least that would allow time for a second look to be sure and if not, then time to sort out the accumulation of 23 years of marriage. Sad really, and I'm not on board with it. It is not my decision so I don't have much of a choice either. I agree with taking the high road and no BS. It is going be tough enough as it is.


Sincerely, Good Luck.


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## Smokin04 (Jan 29, 2014)

Like others have said, good luck. Been through 2 myself...one my my decision, the other was not. They are tough...there's light at the end of the tunnel though. Hang in there bro.


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

Wish you the best!!


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## sepp (Feb 7, 2014)

I came home from a 2 week training and found another man in bed with my wife... I got cleaned out money wise in the divorce. It probably didn't help that my first response when seeing them in bed was to throw him naked through the picture window in the living room but.


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## Mike45 (Dec 29, 2013)

Try to make is as amicable as possible, so you don’t lose half or most of your stuff.


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## Beach Kowboy (Feb 13, 2014)

sepp said:


> I came home from a 2 week training and found another man in bed with my wife... I got cleaned out money wise in the divorce. It probably didn't help that my first response when seeing them in bed was to throw him naked through the picture window in the living room but.


 You are a better man than I my friend!! If I walked in and caught them I would have to leave the country!!


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## MrsInor (Apr 15, 2013)

"........throw him naked through the picture window in the living room but."

Was that butt first?


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

Seneca said:


> Any tips for the married prepper that finds themselves getting a divorce from their non prepper spouse.


Get a lawyer.
Keep the lawyer low key, under the radar so to speak, just in case things start to go downhill fast. Some women (not all of course) can be very vindictive behind a calm front.
Hopefully everything will be as amicable as you say, but remember - we ARE preppers. And a lawyer on retainer is a prep.


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## sepp (Feb 7, 2014)

MrsInor said:


> "........throw him naked through the picture window in the living room but."
> 
> Was that butt first?


No like "but I digress". He went through head first.

Anyways a lawyer on the down low is not a bad idea.


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## Montana Rancher (Mar 4, 2013)

Seneca said:


> Any tips for the married prepper that finds themselves getting a divorce from their non prepper spouse.


Sorry no mercy from me,

My wife of 20 years (we are going on a trip to Hawaii for our 20th anniversary in 2 days and will love it)

But I digress, my wife thinks everything will be normal, the world will not end, and she is planning for retirement, (of course she still works, do you think I'm stupid?)??

But

She puts up with me filling our basement with canned goods, water, etc....

..not because she is stupid it is because she is in denial about what is coming.

.....

which means that she still beliive's in the normalicy bias but they "really don't believe" it is normal

IMO don't give up on a spouse that isn't a full believer, especially in this day and age.

In 3 months she will think you a prophet.

Then take her ass away to your BOL, if you don't have a BOL then it really doesn't matter, you are screwed no matter what you do.


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## Montana Rancher (Mar 4, 2013)

I may have been drinking on the last post, but it still stands.,

IMO keep your wife, God isn't a fool


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Montana Rancher said:


> My wife of 20 years (we are going on a trip to Hawaii for our 20th anniversary in 2 days and will love it.)


Rancher in Hawaii?!? My entire worldview is shattered. 

Edit: Oh yeah, have fun.


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## longrider (Mar 25, 2013)

Senecca, I'm so sorry. It sucks large for you. I think I would do some on the sly shifting of preps. Nothing obvious so the neighbors tell on you. Just a few boxes at a time. Get a friend to put the storage unit under his name. Until the dust settles, I would try to get my preps out. If she is dead set on this, you have to look after yourself. Especially since she did not help with the preps. Don't take it all, but half is very fair on your part. I would hate to see her get it all.

We are here for you, Sen. Hang in there.


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## longrider (Mar 25, 2013)

Montana Rancher, I want to see a picture of you in a Hawaiian shirt and your swim trunks!!


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## Montana Rancher (Mar 4, 2013)

Inor said:


> Rancher in Hawaii?!? My entire worldview is shattered.
> 
> Edit: Oh yeah, have fun.


I totally understand but I decided a while ago that I should not live in fear.

If the SHTF and I am in Hawaii then that is where I need to be and my skills will either take me home or make me adapt where God places me.

I am happy that my closest family members know where the stuff is and what the combinations are

Just saying, If God has a plan and puts me away from my stash, then I will trust His plan.

IMO getting stuck in Hawaii will be the least of my worries, but thanks for the feedback


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## 2000ShadowACE (Jan 14, 2014)

ShotLady, you truly are the exception. I lost everything in my divorce. If her lawyer could have found a way she would have taken my name and birthday as well. Best advice to the OP is to be a friendly as possible with your ex and pray her lawyer isn't the same one mine had.


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

I second Montana Rancher's post. I understand that people change. Both I and my wife of 44.5 years have changed a lot. We've gone thru some real bad time with our son, but found solace in each other's arms. I'm not into marriage councilors but maybe a minister could help. The two of you need to remember why and how you fell in love 23 years ago. The biggest problem I seem to have, taking her for granted. It's a daily battle for me to remember to do the little things. There have even been days when I forget to kiss her, I mean really kiss her and let her know I love her. Wish you the best and hope you can save your marriage.


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## PrepperLite (May 8, 2013)

Seneca said:


> Any tips for the married prepper that finds themselves getting a divorce from their non prepper spouse.


Good luck man. Hearing that you have no kids gives me (and should give you) a sigh of relief. I have seen what a vindictive woman and a court / child support system can do to a man.

Some people have asked about marriage counseling. I would say (but it sounds like she is) if she isn't 100% done and ready to move on to try this. Don't give up on your first visit! It took me 3 counselors to get one that would actually talk and help us, the first 2 just kind of sat there and at one point talked about her day more than we did!! If i wouldn't have found that 3rd one i would have a bad taste for counselors in my mouth forever.

I wish you the best and although i wasn't married as long as you were, (here comes the cliché) you will get over it... there are plenty of fish in the sea.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

I always mused at my sport bike male friends who were losing their pants in their divorce when there was a big sign to not hit that.
they married ultra hot chicks that skinned their ex. hell they even enjoyed the checks and nice home from the ex. then were surprised when they became the ex that she did it to them too.

I didn't even get a lawyer. he did. I can earn things for myself and I lived very poor for very many yrs. and it was good. I got so much more out of my divorce... that he couldn't give me. sense of self, esteem, diginity confidence. he, through the yrs, has been like a whackamole game at the arcade. I don't consider it to be my problem, but his. ( we have 2 boys) the guy is a real jerk. but you know what. I don't have to live with that. none of it is my problem.


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

PrepperLite said:


> Good luck man. Hearing that you have no kids gives me (and should give you) a sigh of relief. I have seen what a vindictive woman and a court / child support system can do to a man.


it doesn't just happen to men. they **** the hell out of wimmin types too. ask me how I know...


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## PrepperLite (May 8, 2013)

shotlady said:


> I always mused at my sport bike male friends who were losing their pants in their divorce when there was a big sign to not hit that.
> they married ultra hot chicks that skinned their ex. hell they even enjoyed the checks and nice home from the ex. then were surprised when they became the ex that she did it to them too.
> 
> I didn't even get a lawyer. he did. I can earn things for myself and I lived very poor for very many yrs. and it was good. I got so much more out of my divorce... that he couldn't give me. sense of self, esteem, diginity confidence. he, through the yrs, has been like a whackamole game at the arcade. I don't consider it to be my problem, but his. ( we have 2 boys) the guy is a real jerk. but you know what. I don't have to live with that. none of it is my problem.


You are a rare bird. More often than not i see Wives take their husbands for everything. Thankfully i had no kids, but then again as a wet behind the ears E-4 and a stay at home wife we really didn't have much to split anyways.


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## PrepperLite (May 8, 2013)

shotlady said:


> it doesn't just happen to men. they **** the hell out of wimmin types too. ask me how I know...


I would say you are right it does happen to women, but in my experiences more often then not its the man who gets the short end of the stick.


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## Titan6 (May 19, 2013)

I would say try to keep it as humane as you can and keep a calm head during the matter you can try working together to get what you both want ....IMHO


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## shotlady (Aug 30, 2012)

PrepperLite said:


> I would say you are right it does happen to women, but in my experiences more often then not its the man who gets the short end of the stick.


there's a huge population of mothers with out custody. wimmin types just don't talk about it as if they did something wrong. boy, you have to be a bad mother to not have custody of your children is often the opinion. not true. most mothers with out custody didn't have an esteem, money, a job, and believed themselves that they were not worthy, couldn't do it. and boy we get skinned too. we often isolate ourselves, because of the stigma. quite often its a woman no no sense of self worth- with abusive controlled back ground. we select someone controlling, because that's what we know.

I was a stay at home mom with a tenth grade education but ended up paying a multi millionaire child support. but I kept coming, kept paying, kept loving, kept giving... and I didn't give up. with the parental alienation I experienced, it was hell. and still is hell. but I knew god would restore my relations ships. when he moved I moved. I never had an excuse of why not to offer my kids. most people would have given up just to stop the bleeding, stop the pain, try and rebuild. but not me. I couldn't live with myself if I did that. rebuild on what foundation if your foundation isn't being there for your kids??

well it does happen to women too. to good women. and there's a lot of good men out there this happens to.


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## sepp (Feb 7, 2014)

My dad married a woman a while back who already had 2 kids and then they had one. Anyways when my dad and her divorced. None of the kids wanted to go with her they wanted to stay with my dad. Though that case may be different I think she just doesn't care anymore as I've had to drop money off so they could get food to eat because she would leave and spend a week with her boyfriend 190 miles away and leave no food in the house.


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## Ripon (Dec 22, 2012)

Just had a weekend job from Noon Saturday till 5 PM and then 8 AM till noon on Sunday for a county court system in CA to arbitrate a couple claiming personal property. The guy had 33 firearms to his name and saved 25 of them, she nabbed eight and didn't know what she was doing from adam - she took them to spite him (and took the wrong ones). He was laughing under his breath about her firearms selections. But since they could not agree, in court, to a disolution of personal property it was done this way by court demand in person face to face with me in the middle. Pay was good. She was mad that I lumped all the ammo together per caliber and wanted his claims to be for each box - it was my choice not hers. I can only imagine what might have happened if she'd drawn a man / gun hating aribtrator. I tried to be as fair as I could, ultimately after the first 90 minutes they settled down into claiming what they wanted and stoped trying to spite each other.

My recommendation - put forth what you want in writing. The judge will likely appreciate it. Be fair, don't try to undervalue anything and make sure the other party gets their 'worth" otherwise you are just a thief and the judge may take it out on you.


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## Seneca (Nov 16, 2012)

Thank you all, all of you every last one of you, I feel as if I'm among friends. 
Montana Rancher...I agree, I'd like her and I to stay together as God intended. Yet I have no choice but to play the hand I'm dealt and that card is not one I'm holding. 

On a positive note (and I'm looking for positive things right now) I can focus on prepping for one. She is not interested nor ever has been interested in prepping and sees that as my hobby. I was always worried about prepping enough for her and her non prepping family, because they will (or would have) shown up. I get to keep the preps which simplifies things and brings down the stress level a notch or two and increases my hunker down time greatly.


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## Rigged for Quiet (Mar 3, 2013)

Best of luck Seneca, thoughts and prayers for a light in the darkness.


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## Silverback (Jan 20, 2014)

Shotlady, you just made every single dude here want to get a little closer to you. Good show.

Seneca, Keep that chin up man. Let me tell you as others here know, it hurts at the start but WILL get better. Find a hobby for a bit. Gym, Guitar, Reading, Hiking... whatever helps you cope and reflect. If you can find something that helps you progress that will help more. Make friends, new ones. re-acquaint with old ones. Remember the things you loved doing that you gave up to make it work. Do them again. Pee on your toilet seat and forget to put the lid down... hell don't bother putting it up. If all else fails, make a pot of coffee and pick out a good book. Just read it till you find yourself thinking of it's story and not your own. Again, the pain is only time. It will end and things will get better no matter WHICH WAY the road turns.

Best of luck to you man.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

Men usually come out on the back end in emotional health while women usually get better emotionally after a divorce. Finances - especially in well-to-do households go the other way. Spend time with your close friends - they will try to help in all the wrong ways but you need to stay out of any relationships with women for about the same number of month as the number of years you were married. This will give you the time to rediscover who you are and what you need in a woman. Look to your faith and get some free counseling from your pastor if that is possible. Do the things you enjoy doing and be open to what comes your way.

If you do what you enjoy and know who you are the next woman who enters your life will enjoy the same things and you will grow together.


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