# Girlfriend not on board with prepping



## bigz1983 (Mar 12, 2017)

Hey everyone,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. She moved in with me last summer July of 2016 and at the time when she moved in I wasn't into prepping all that much. Shortly after she moved in I started a small farm with goats/chickens at my place and I started getting into prepping. 

She has said things to me like" You weren't a farmer when I met you" indicating she doesn't like the change. I suggested that she buy a 22 long rifle semi auto rifle of her own for small game hunting/prepping and she said to me " I didn't sign up for this" and "why would I need 22 LR I couldn't ever shoot a cute little bunny or squirrel". I'm starting to buy more ammo and weapons and she thinks I'm crazy. 

How about you guys have you dealt with a wife or girlfriend that thought you were crazy for prepping? How did you deal with it?


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## watchin (Apr 24, 2014)

Upgraded to one that's on board.

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

41 years years ago her and I knew it was the two of us the would stand against the world if need be. Nothing has changed. I am not about to advise a person on relationships. Knew my wife about 10 minutes when I told her we would be married some day. 7 days latter we were.
Not about difference as much is how you deal with them. Two seats at the table God above were are we going how do we get there. The two shall become as one.


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## Illini Warrior (Jan 24, 2015)

prepping isn't just the problem - you have a whole distaste for a semi rural existence coming from your lady fair .... you have a totally wrong partner for where you're going - sorry - push it as far as you want until it finally breaks - she's already sending you HUGE signals there guy ....


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Well well @bigz1983,

Amidst some horrible decisions, you have finally made a good one and come to the right place for a bit of sound advice. And it just so happens that Slippy's Pike Emporium and Marriage Counseling is open for bidness...and bidness is GOOD!

Inviting some little hussy into your domicile was most certainly a bad decision. Hell son, you were probably knock knock knockin on pre-mentioned hussy anyway so why invite the cow to live with you when you was gettin' the milk for free!

Damnit, y'all youngin's done piss me off with your bad decisions time and time again. So PLEASE don't tell me that y'all made some little curtain climbers together because that ain't cool.

Anyhoo, here's what you do. Crack open a beer and call at least two friends over, preferably a man and a woman. When the witnesses arrive, er I mean friends (HA) tell the whore that its time for her to vacate the premises and start hauling her shit out to her vehicle. It shouldn't take but a few minutes unless you done screwed up worse than we think and let her have cats and shit like that.

Once you get slutgirl out the house, crack open another beer and buy your freinds (witnesses HA!) a pizza and watch some of the NCAA Tourney tonight! Go 'Cocks!

(Please deposit 100.00 into Slippy's bank account!) :tango_face_smile:



bigz1983 said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. She moved in with me last summer July of 2016 and at the time when she moved in I wasn't into prepping all that much. Shortly after she moved in I started a small farm with goats/chickens at my place and I started getting into prepping.
> 
> ...


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## SOCOM42 (Nov 9, 2012)

To me, first off, it sounds like she is trying to control you, control starts off with small acts.

The ride she is along for, she wants to direct.

It appears she is into city glitter and has a sheeple mentality.

Either one of you submit to the other or you will be parting ways sooner or later.

I would say, I am doing this for us so we will be secure, I need your help.

If she rejects it, you need to decide which road you want to travel.


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

Son, as someone who has been married twice, for a total of 45 years, believe me when I say dump her now.
The longer you wait, the more money and property she will rape you for when she leaves.
She has already told you in several different ways that you either do things her way or not at all.
Find a partner who will SHARE your life.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

Thankfully, you are not yet married. Time for an upgrade.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

bigz1983 said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. She moved in with me last summer July of 2016 and at the time when she moved in I wasn't into prepping all that much. Shortly after she moved in I started a small farm with goats/chickens at my place and I started getting into prepping.
> 
> ...


When she said "I didn't sign up for this" you should believe her. Fix it now before it gets worse.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

(Slippy pulls out his notebook entitled 1000 Reasons RPD Got it Going On...and starts to write...:tango_face_smile



rice paddy daddy said:


> Son,...
> Find a partner who will SHARE your life.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

My prediction if you allow her to stay in your house:

You are going to have little to no assistance on your farm. As time goes by, you are going to hear more and more complaining. You are going to find yourself resenting her, more and more. Both of you are going to become miserable. Does that sound like fun? Does it sound productive? 

I've had two failed marriages. Trust me. There are things much worse than being fed into a wood chipper.


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## 7515 (Aug 31, 2014)

Tell her it's not her that it's you. That it's not fair to her to keep her trapped in a relationship that you can't commit too. 
Then when she hits the road back to the big city.....

You don't have to be lonely,
at farmersonly.com.


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

Just remember Ol' RPD's favorite saying:
"Life is too short to dance with ugly women"

This covers a wide spectrum not limited to females alone. For example, owning a Honda Civic, or drinking cheap whiskey.

Do yourself a big favor and think with your brain, not some other part of your body. If you get my drift.


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## TG (Jul 28, 2014)

Just wanted to add.

As a woman. 
To me, there is absolutely NOTHING sexier than a man who works his own land and tries to make sure that his family is taken care of for the future. Please believe her and don't waste your best years with someone who does not appreciate your amazing efforts.
You are a REAL MAN and these are almost impossible to find, the world is full of weenies.


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## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

TG said:


> Just wanted to add.
> 
> As a woman.
> To me, there is absolutely NOTHING sexier than a man who works his own land and tries to make sure that his family is taken care of for the future. Please believe her and don't waste your best years with someone who does not appreciate your amazing efforts.
> You are a REAL MAN and these are almost impossible to find, the world is full of weenies.


Nothing worse than being a weenie!


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## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

bigz1983 said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. She moved in with me last summer July of 2016 and at the time when she moved in I wasn't into prepping all that much. Shortly after she moved in I started a small farm with goats/chickens at my place and I started getting into prepping.
> 
> ...


Send me a pic of the chic and I can advise you better....


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## 7515 (Aug 31, 2014)

rice paddy daddy said:


> This covers a wide spectrum not limited to females alone. For example, owning a Honda Civic, or drinking cheap whiskey.


Damn RPD. I have a Civic and now I feel bad about it. lol


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

bigz1983 said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. She moved in with me last summer July of 2016 and at the time when she moved in I wasn't into prepping all that much. Shortly after she moved in I started a small farm with goats/chickens at my place and I started getting into prepping.
> 
> ...


What part of THIS ^^^^ do you not understand? :vs_worry:


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

I feel sorry for you. Having a girl friend that isn't capable of accepting you as you grow 
and mature and want to provide for your common safety shows that it would never work 
with her anyway. As crass as it may sound, I agree that it is time to say adios and seek 
a woman who is will to grow with you than want to hold you back. My condolences on
your loss.


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## AnotherSOFSurvivor (Sep 7, 2016)

Ummmm break up with this chick before she does some more damage.

Remember kids, dont let p***y drive the train

sent from a paper cup and string via quantum wierdness


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## Illini Warrior (Jan 24, 2015)

forgot to add in my first posting - if this disatisfaction has been ongoing for awhile and she's been around the divorce & living together route a few times - she's already has and upgrading her "escape package" - if she's handling your finances in anyway-shape-or form >>>>> loooook out guy ....


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## RJAMES (Dec 23, 2016)

I would stress the positive aspects of a rural living like having fresh eggs. Encourage her to join you while doing chores. Sometimes helps to let the person pick out live stock or plants for the garden. Try not to nag about a chore unless it is all chores leave it alone. 

I know wives that complain about husbands never doing laundry you talk to the guy and his story she always bitched about how I did it. Wife never showed him how to do laundry neither did anyone else. Advised more than one wife to take the time to show/ teach/ encourage. Don't complain when the items got left in dryer and are wrinkled just thank them for doing the wash and rerun them. Later bring up how it works better if........ Avoid telling them they did it WRONG rather here is a better way or anther way. Figure out there are somethings especially with laundry you do not what him to do and have two dirty baskets one both of you do the other is stuff he never touches you do it yourself. 

Those chores / roles do not have to be a typical male /female roles. I know a lot of professional chiefs/ cooks so the guy is often the one who cooks / bakes . If the wife is a mechanic hell let her change the oil. He enjoys sewing let him sew. Ideally both partners can do all the task/chores but there is always going to be something one of you is better at or just likes doing . Nothing wrong with that. You got to work it out between the two of you who does what. 

As to the prepping lighten up on the guns at least for awhile . You got a rifle/ shot gun and perhaps a pistol you are most likely good. Work on preps that are used every year or two in your area- things that get you thru an ice storm, hurricane what ever you got in your area. Talk about how you just want to make sure if you have a tornado you guys are safe or if there is a power outage she can still enjoy her coffee. Get a fuel oil lantern for setting out on the porch for a romantic evening not for SHTF. 

I wanted to spend money on 2 generators when I already had a generator. Did I tell the wife it was for an end of the world as we know it event. NO. Told her these run nice and quite and can run the AC on the camper so we can go camping and she can be comfortable. I do not like fixed campgrounds but she likes her AC . We got more camping options and backups for the preps. Ask her she will tell you all about them and how I got them for her. 

The only time the wife objected to prepping is when I purchased a 2nd AR, body armor , helmets and several thousand rounds all in the same week. When we retired from the army no objection to a shot gun for the farm or later a short shot gun for canoe trips in bear country in Northern Canada. The 1st AR was a lefty model for her something she always wished she had while in the service. 

But seeing all of the various weapons, ammo, protective gear together I think it was a little bit of a shock as she did not realize we had that much. Took her a couple days to think thru it and decide it was not a bad thing. Part of her unease is why did I think we NOW needed some of those items or in those numbers. What did I know or think I knew that I did not tell her. 

Communication or lack there of is usually the issue .


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## 7515 (Aug 31, 2014)

AnotherSOFSurvivor said:


> Remember kids, dont let p***y drive the train
> 
> sent from a paper cup and string via quantum wierdness


There is Sage wisdom in these words......


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

RJAMES said:


> I would stress the positive aspects of a rural living like having fresh eggs. Encourage her to join you while doing chores. Sometimes helps to let the person pick out live stock or plants for the garden. Try not to nag about a chore unless it is all chores leave it alone.
> 
> I know wives that complain about husbands never doing laundry you talk to the guy and his story she always bitched about how I did it. Wife never showed him how to do laundry neither did anyone else. Advised more than one wife to take the time to show/ teach/ encourage. Don't complain when the items got left in dryer and are wrinkled just thank them for doing the wash and rerun them. Later bring up how it works better if........ Avoid telling them they did it WRONG rather here is a better way or anther way. Figure out there are somethings especially with laundry you do not what him to do and have two dirty baskets one both of you do the other is stuff he never touches you do it yourself.
> 
> ...


That's fine and dandy if they are receptive.

The real issue is that most people rely on the grocery store and the govt. Self reliance is not PC. Most think your an extreme radical if you want to rely on yourself to get through things. In my area we have refugees from New Orleans. They came after Katrina and never left. They still talk about how bad it was but none would ever think to prepare themselves for another disaster.


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Sounds like my kinda lady. I cant stand to shoot cute bunnies either...but since you like that kinda stuff..you best run her off.


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## ND_ponyexpress_ (Mar 20, 2016)

crap or get off the pot.....


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## Doc Holliday (Dec 22, 2012)

Son, I know you have strong feelings for this lady or you wouldnt have invited her to become part of your life and home.... but you will regret this decision someday if she has this type of attitude towards being prepared for anything that can happen. First off, sit her down and tell her that you are doing this because you want to be prepared in case any natural disaster happens and want to take care of her with food, shelter and security. If she is not on board with helping out.... she is not the right one for you. I went through the same thing with an ex-girlfriend that was too into the party social scene so I cut my losses (with great heart ache) and let her know that we would not work out in the end. I found the perfect woman for me who was on board for what ever I wanted to do and helps out with it, we have been together ever sence... Married since 1989, have kids, grand kids and another on the way 

We had to sell off most of our preps when we moved from Ca. to Or. last year and its hard trying to start over especially when you live with the kids, grand kids in a small rented duplex (still waiting for a settlement so we can afford our own home again) 

Take the heartache now while the relationship is young if she wont come around to working like a couple... it will save you major heartache if a kid is involved later.


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## rice paddy daddy (Jul 17, 2012)

A comparison.
Your girlfriend: non prepper, non farmer, hates guns, probably loves malls and shopping. Tell her to go kill and clean a chicken for supper and see what happens.
My wife: prepper, farmer, loves working in the soil, grows stuff and puts chicken in the pot, can drive an 18 wheeler, doesn't mind shoveling horse manure at all, hates malls, owns her own guns.

Fine women are out there, and as witnessed by TG, may be having a hard time finding a real man. 
Don't sell yourself short.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Hey Doc! :vs_wave:

Good to see you again my friend! Hope you've been well.

Slip



Doc Holliday said:


> Son, I know you have strong feelings for this lady or you wouldnt have invited her to become part of your life and home.... but you will regret this decision someday if she has this type of attitude towards being prepared for anything that can happen. First off, sit her down and tell her that you are doing this because you want to be prepared in case any natural disaster happens and want to take care of her with food, shelter and security. If she is not on board with helping out.... she is not the right one for you. I went through the same thing with an ex-girlfriend that was too into the party social scene so I cut my losses (with great heart ache) and let her know that we would not work out in the end. I found the perfect woman for me who was on board for what ever I wanted to do and helps out with it, we have been together ever sence... Married since 1989, have kids, grand kids and another on the way
> 
> We had to sell off most of our preps when we moved from Ca. to Or. last year and its hard trying to start over especially when you live with the kids, grand kids in a small rented duplex (still waiting for a settlement so we can afford our own home again)
> 
> Take the heartache now while the relationship is young if she wont come around to working like a couple... it will save you major heartache if a kid is involved later.


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Yeah...whats up Doc?


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## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

You don't have to lonely at farmers only.com

Maybe hit it one more time and then tell her to GTFO!

https://www.farmersonly.com/login?check_cookie=1


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## Doc Holliday (Dec 22, 2012)

Hey Slippy, Bigwheel

Good to see you guys... Im always around but dont really say much any more unless a subject needs it or I can say something funny :vs_smirk:


Doc


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## cdell (Feb 27, 2014)

Urinal Cake said:


> You don't have to lonely at farmers only.com
> 
> Maybe hit it one more time and then tell her to GTFO!
> 
> https://www.farmersonly.com/login?check_cookie=1


That's what I was going to say. Some pictures may help us advise more accurately however.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Slippy said:


> Well well @bigz1983,
> 
> Amidst some horrible decisions, you have finally made a good one and come to the right place for a bit of sound advice. And it just so happens that Slippy's Pike Emporium and Marriage Counseling is open for bidness...and bidness is GOOD!
> 
> ...


To damn funny Slip. If she done got cats and squirted out curtain climbers it's all done but the crying.


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## Joe (Nov 1, 2016)

Slippy said:


> Well well @bigz1983,
> 
> Amidst some horrible decisions, you have finally made a good one and come to the right place for a bit of sound advice. And it just so happens that Slippy's Pike Emporium and Marriage Counseling is open for bidness...and bidness is GOOD!
> 
> ...


Hey @Slippy Are you related to Mr Haney? (Green Acres) you crack me up man, yet well worth the $100:vs_laugh:


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## LVPrepper (Mar 29, 2017)

I have to agree with the majority here...

IF.....Prepping is going to be a major part of your life, find a partner that not only accepts it, but encourages and helps... The world is full of sheeple, your house should be your haven, not a barn...


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

I have a good photo of my farmers tan while wearing the revealing bib over hauls. I bet the lady farmers will like that.


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## bigz1983 (Mar 12, 2017)

Well let me clear up some things about my girlfriend. She is into some farming she likes chickens and she likes gardening. She does not like the goats but she is warming up to them a little. She helps with the chickens and the garden. She didn't like it when I bought the goats. 

Prepping on other hand she is not into. She thinks I'm crazy for prepping. I don't know if I could get her into prepping. She has warmed up to the goats. Maybe if I talk to her about it more she would like the idea of prepping more.


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

bigz1983 said:


> Well let me clear up some things about my girlfriend. She is into some farming she likes chickens and she likes gardening. She does not like the goats but she is warming up to them a little. She helps with the chickens and the garden. She didn't like it when I bought the goats.
> 
> Prepping on other hand she is not into. She thinks I'm crazy for prepping. I don't know if I could get her into prepping. She has warmed up to the goats. Maybe if I talk to her about it more she would like the idea of prepping more.


Damn Son, she doesn't like a lot, huh?


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## jim-henscheli (May 4, 2015)

bigz1983 said:


> Well let me clear up some things about my girlfriend. She is into some farming she likes chickens and she likes gardening. She does not like the goats but she is warming up to them a little. She helps with the chickens and the garden. She didn't like it when I bought the goats.
> 
> Prepping on other hand she is not into. She thinks I'm crazy for prepping. I don't know if I could get her into prepping. She has warmed up to the goats. Maybe if I talk to her about it more she would like the idea of prepping more.


 My woman was similar for a while, TBH the kicker was this; we lived in an "RV" park that was really just a trailiet park, about a year into our relationship. I had grumbled about the NEED for guns, but it fell on deaf ears. UNTIL, our nonlocking trailer was...uh....rearranged by some neighbors. She came home a few hours before me, and when I got back, she said it was time by guns. Little did she know that she was SITTING on the 12 gauge. I had bought a few weeks ago and strapped under the bed.
The point is; prepping g IS ONLY about personal protection and surviving. Sometimes it takes....exigent circumstances.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

The real issue is not prepping . I think you know that. What you need to figure out is if there is any room for paths to merge. And it needs to be quick before to much damage is done on both sides.
Knowing my wife 7 days when we were married I guess you can say I never really had a girl friend . I do have a life partner. Have you consulted God on the subject have you done so with her at the same time often over look part of the deal.


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## No Body (Feb 8, 2017)

bigz1983 said:


> Well let me clear up some things about my girlfriend. She is into some farming she likes chickens and she likes gardening. She does not like the goats but she is warming up to them a little. She helps with the chickens and the garden. She didn't like it when I bought the goats.
> 
> Prepping on other hand she is not into. She thinks I'm crazy for prepping. I don't know if I could get her into prepping. She has warmed up to the goats. Maybe if I talk to her about it more she would like the idea of prepping more.


Maybe you should stop calling it prepping and tell her your just want to be prepared in case of some sort of disaster, snow storms, ice storms, drought's, really bad thunder storms that bring down tree's , floods, ect. Using the word (prepping) is not the way to go. As for the guns, tell her you want her to be able to protect herself if your not around. Forget about killing the animals. If or when it comes to that point, she'll at least know how to shoot.

A lot of people aren't ready for killing animals themselves for food. I know I'm not. If it comes to that point I will do it but I won't like it.


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## RJAMES (Dec 23, 2016)

On your goats have you had baby goat yet- that usually changes perception . They get baby goat and get to name it they start to like at least that one. I could not get and never will get my wife to like any mature male goats they smell and mine got some big scary horns. But they like feeding the females and playing with babies . Could not get her interested in milking goats but I have found we really do not like goat milk . 

I raise goats to sell to people who want fresh goat meat and females to my neighbors as replacements to their milking herds. They keep some weeds down and as such are not any work I only feed them enough to keep the trained to come when called.


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## bigz1983 (Mar 12, 2017)

No Body said:


> Maybe you should stop calling it prepping and tell her your just want to be prepared in case of some sort of disaster, snow storms, ice storms, drought's, really bad thunder storms that bring down tree's , floods, ect. Using the word (prepping) is not the way to go. As for the guns, tell her you want her to be able to protect herself if your not around. Forget about killing the animals. If or when it comes to that point, she'll at least know how to shoot.
> 
> A lot of people aren't ready for killing animals themselves for food. I know I'm not. If it comes to that point I will do it but I won't like it.


I agree maybe the word " Prepping" sounds too negative to her. I believe she thinks I should focus more on buying her a ring, getting married, having kids, and building a new house instead of farming and prepping. We don't have any children and I'm 33 and she's 31. I know if were ever going to have kids and get married were going to need to do it kinda soon. Were not getting any younger.


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## bigz1983 (Mar 12, 2017)

RJAMES said:


> On your goats have you had baby goat yet- that usually changes perception . They get baby goat and get to name it they start to like at least that one. I could not get and never will get my wife to like any mature male goats they smell and mine got some big scary horns. But they like feeding the females and playing with babies . Could not get her interested in milking goats but I have found we really do not like goat milk .
> 
> I raise goats to sell to people who want fresh goat meat and females to my neighbors as replacements to their milking herds. They keep some weeds down and as such are not any work I only feed them enough to keep the trained to come when called.


No we have not had any baby goats yet. We have two female mini Lamancha does. There both disbudded no horns. I don't have a buck right now but I plan on getting a buck and a wether. The wether will keep the buck company because they will be in a separate shed/ pen from the does. I plan on getting a breeding buck that is polled or disbudded so it wont be as scary to her. She says she wants baby goats.


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## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

I don't think the OP is prepared to change anything in his life after 5 pages of advice....


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

Misery loves company ....... Its a Match!


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

This always cracks me up!

I believe a wise man said in an earlier post, "if you're getting the milk for free, why buy the cow"?



bigz1983 said:


> ... I believe she thinks I should focus more on buying her a ring, getting married, having kids, and building a new house instead of farming and prepping...


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## SGT E (Feb 25, 2015)

https://www.farmersonly.com/


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Urinal Cake said:


> I don't think the OP is prepared to change anything in his life after 5 pages of advice....
> View attachment 43193


 Is anyone really ? change is often forced. A life partner what I choose to call a wife is a major life changing event.


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## No Body (Feb 8, 2017)

bigz1983 said:


> I agree maybe the word " Prepping" sounds too negative to her. I believe she thinks I should focus more on buying her a ring, getting married, having kids, and building a new house instead of farming and prepping. We don't have any children and I'm 33 and she's 31. I know if were ever going to have kids and get married were going to need to do it kinda soon. Were not getting any younger.


Your talking about what she wants. What do _you_ want. If you want enough of the same things then incorporate them into your prepping. Example: Build a new energy efficient off grid style house. 
Good luck


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## No Body (Feb 8, 2017)

bigz1983 said:


> I agree maybe the word " Prepping" sounds too negative to her. I believe she thinks I should focus more on buying her a ring, getting married, having kids, and building a new house instead of farming and prepping. We don't have any children and I'm 33 and she's 31. I know if were ever going to have kids and get married were going to need to do it kinda soon. Were not getting any younger.


Now your talking about what she wants. The question is what do _you_ want. If you want the same things then incorporate them into the prepping. Example: Build an off grid style house. Use practical reasons for having alternative heat, electric, water, 
Good luck


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