# Being Dead



## Marica (May 5, 2019)

So we had an experience here on the Farm that was as close to being dead as I want to experience.

Given such an experience, who do you contact? Do you have a protocol? 

How do you announce death?

We're all gonna die, and leave behind someone who makes the announcement.

Thoughts?


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## dwight55 (Nov 9, 2012)

Dial 911, . . . let them take it from there.

May God bless,
Dwight


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## Mish (Nov 5, 2013)

I have a will. I don't care who tells who that I'm dead.
BTW, I'm glad no dead people had to be announced at your farm. How everyone is ok. 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## csi-tech (Apr 13, 2013)

Usually a medical examiner or their appointee will arrive on the scene. If it is an untimely or suspicious death EMS will contact an investigator. Here in my part Tennessee the EMS supervisors are tasked with representing the M.E. and patrol officers will consult. If the EMS supervisor and Patrol supervisor concur that everything appears natural they will contact the deceased persons doctor who will sign off on the death certificate and the family will request a funeral home to come remove the body. Everyone should have their affairs in order.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

When my step father passed got a call at work, brother said coroner was there. Done deal.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Dealing with death is part of dealing with life. My affairs are in order, My wife will get everything and she will tell those who would care after her and her boyfriend return from their trip around the world.


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

My will is detailed. Assets, debts, where, service participants, music, who to call, etc.... My kids only need to sit down and spend a few minutes reading several pages of typed instructions. I have left nothing up for interpretation or uncertainty.


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## dwight55 (Nov 9, 2012)

Whatever is done with me or for me or against me after I've croaked, . . . ain't no big deal.

My wife and son get what I had, . . . 

I'm going to be walking the streets of glory, . . . 

It's all good.

May God bless,
Dwight


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Mrs Inor gets all my stuff when I am dead. Mrs Inor, being one of those artsy-fartsy types, I'm sure she will make some kind of shrine out of my body and that is fine.

In the meantime, I have been considering being dead for a year for tax purposes.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Years ago I gave all my money (every invested nickel), knives, my guns, and three pairs of "never worn" boots to my wife.

I retained two pairs of crappy jeans, my favorite boots, my EDC knives, and my EDC pistol. I also have a 25 year old Ford F-150, but my wife doesn't want that, it has a clutch.

In reality, my total worth is about 1,500 dollars.

Now this might seem foolhardy to many of you. However, it was intensely 'freeing' for me. I've worn crappy jeans and boots since I was five years old. The defensive devices were kept only because they were functional implements after years of use.

I need nothing more. If my wife gives me a handful of singles on Monday, I usually give them back to her--unspent--on Friday. I no longer seek to collect everything I touch.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Have trust set up. Everyone knows what is to happen if anyone in this family dies. If it is someone not of this house hold. Call 911 and wait and wait and wait. We do not fear death in this home . We know it coming to us all. After that is when it gets real interesting.
People we know around the country that we ride with ,information comes by Email, web sight and phone. Those I served with and worked with over the years phone call most often.
Just had a call yesterday person I worked with for years passed on. The phone seems to work even with people you may not have talked with in years.


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Great views, as I need to have a sit down with the wife, and get some things on paper.
Her and her boyfriend traveling around the world...HA.


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## Deebo (Oct 27, 2012)

Prepared One said:


> Dealing with death is part of dealing with life. My affairs are in order, My wife will get everything and she will tell those who would care after her and her boyfriend return from their trip around the world.


You crafty bastard....
I was going out riding quads once and the wife was like "and if something bad happened and you died, I wouldn't even know where or how to pay the mortgage"
I told her "oh don't worry, the mortgage company will DAMN SURE find you", as I cautiously rode my four wheeler that weekend.


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## SOCOM42 (Nov 9, 2012)

My daughter gets everything, everything is paid off, mortgage done 25 yeas ago.

Only will have to deal with recurring property tax bill and utilities.

As far as i can care they can roll me into the swamp behind the shop.

I go straight to the oven after I am gone, no funeral, 

then an urn to add to the collection of the other 5 family members.


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## Chipper (Dec 22, 2012)

Asked couple riding buddies to run it up to 100mph and pop the top on the ash container and let me blow away in the wind. Other then that one last ride I could care less. Hopefully I'm not last cause I'm screwed otherwise. 
Can't take any of it with you so split it up as you see fit. What's left, cause I don't plan on dying with a bunch of unused assets.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

They can put me in a paupers grave, with a headstone that reads, Mister Mills Lies Here, Awaiting Resurrection. I guess you could say that I won't miss this place.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Mish said:


> I have a will. I don't care who tells who that I'm dead.


Well, girl, before your shuffle off this mortal coil we should get together for a "lemonade."

If your avatar is really a picture of you, be advised I love women with big eyes--even when they're crossed...


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Marica said:


> So we had an experience here on the Farm that was as close to being dead as I want to experience.
> 
> Given such an experience, who do you contact? Do you have a protocol?
> 
> ...


Dittos to what Pastor Dwight said. Call the cops. Part of their job to show up to help make sure if they died of natural causes or some bad actor whacked em. The town where I worked the dispatcher woud say..deceased person at such an address we go and check it out. If things look kosher..the best and quickest strategy is to get ahold of their doctor and see if they will sign a death cerfificate based on health problems. If the say yes..its all down hill. We stayed with the body till the funeral home or the Medical Examiner shows up. If no dumb doctor will not sign the death cerrtificate the dearly deceased heads to for an autopsy like on TV. Never seen one in person but seen movies. Yuck. Its real nasty. The ME at Corpus had no sense of smell thankfully. He could be cutting on maggot infested body with one hand and drink his coffee with the hand hand...or so they said. Now sometimes out of town cops call and want us to go deliver a death message. Always super sad. Best strategy is to try to figure out who is their best friend and who is their preacher and make them tag along. Sometimes they go berserk. If we work a gut slinger wreck that kills some of their citizens we call on them to deliver to bad news. Sort of an informal reciprocity agreement. Sure in most counties the Deputies do very similar stuff for country folks in their county. .


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## stowlin (Apr 25, 2016)

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1019275198475931648?referrer=Netjr

Try this lady


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## Chipper (Dec 22, 2012)

OK lets go with this.


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

I told my husband I don't want some friggin' cocktail party at the wake like you mostly see these days. Make sure they're all on their knees, praying for my soul, rattling their rosary beads.


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## Maine-Marine (Mar 7, 2014)

I am composing a list of witty wisdoms to be read at my funeral

#1.. no matter how nice the hand soap smells never walk out of a public restroom sniffing your fingers


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Annie said:


> I told my husband I don't want some friggin' cocktail party at the wake like you mostly see these days. Make sure they're all on their knees, praying for my soul, rattling their rosary beads.


That's the beauty of being a Lutheran... Well before my baptism (or even my birth), Lord decided where I was going. So when I peg out, I want my friends and family to spend the day of my memorial working harder than they have ever worked before to care for their progeny and forget about my sorry ass.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Now, you guys might laugh about this, but I'm more worried about the ultimate place for my colors.

As some of you might know, your colors belong to the MC. I wouldn't mind being buried with mine, but then, it's perfectly legal for a club enforcer to show up and "liberate" mine.

I'll be in Heaven, so maybe I won't care one way or 'tother.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

My father often said save the tears for the living the dead do not need them. If I die today no regrets . The Lord has blessed me with an amazing life , the path it took was sometimes long and confusing. Some times a little nudge to get me back on track some times a major kick in the but .
Affairs are in order, I have to often seen the down side of not taking care of it correctly.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Smitty, as you know my "affairs" are also in order. That being, I have no affairs. My wife wears only pristine jeans, and my boots don't fit her. She has her own firearms, although she'll probably inherit mine--all but the 3-inch .45 ACP 1911. That one kicks to hard for her, but I told her it's worth 1,400 bucks, so she'll probably sell it to buy clothes.

For those of you who are not yet near 70 years of age, let me tell you how the changes go. 

First, be glad if you have your health, your strength and all your marbles. I am always mistaken for being in my early fifties. Watch your diet, lay off the booze--totally--and get your sleep. As I've stated, I once saw a bent elderly man in front of me in a line. When asked about his age, he gave them a number one year earlier than mine! Keep lifting at the gym, you'll need to keep the muscles you have.

And this is a personal opinion--learn some form of martial art (and a form of marital arts, too). Muggers prey on older folks, your weapon and a bad attitude might save you from a beating.

Massad Ayoob used to keep a five dollar bill attached to a matchbook. If troubled for 'spare change' he would throw the book of matches at the potential perp. Sometimes a thug wants to see how much money you're carrying.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

I think it would be ironical if my head ended up on one of my own finely crafted Pikes!:vs_lol:


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

*@Annie*, I have about two dozen automatic knives. Tell me what you like, and I'll tie an "inheritance tag" on it. I'll even check the edge and make sure it has the requisite "kitchen utility" edge on it.

Besides, even if I only leave my wife 23 automatic knives, that's more than enough to sell and get a trip to Aruba...


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Well, I have had a good full, if somewhat colorful, life. I have lived way past my expectations and way to long for some peoples comfort. :devil: I am good with that. And after I am dead it won't matter to me what is said and what's done.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Prepared One said:


> Well, I have had a good full, if somewhat colorful, life. I have lived way past my expectations.


In a few months I'll be 70 years old. I look at myself in the mirror and I cannot believe the truth of that statement. Then again my maternal grandfather and two aunts lived past 93 years of age. I, too, have achieved all my desires and expectations. Well, I never dated Dinah Shore, but I was kid then.

Now the question is, "Do I want to live in The Millennial World as a geezer?"

Before it gets too late in life, I think the geezers should form a "Gray Mans' Militia" and start whittling down the odds...


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

My wife gets all my stuff..and I get a cheap creamation and arrive home in a cardboard box to be dumped out under the big Pecan tree in the back yard where her Mothers ashes are located among the deceased pets buried there over the years and we are still arguing about a funeral. They costs extra..I dont need it and I have told her the money saved is to be used to fund an informal going away party at the Sports Grill. Allowing all my old chums to drink all the cheap beer and whiskey with free Tacos they can hold. Im trying to figure out how to keep out the moochers who show up claiming we was pals? I was thinking maybe to issue distinctive bracelets before hand. Any other theories? Thanks.


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

bigwheel said:


> My wife gets all my stuff..and I get a cheap creamation and arrive home in a cardboard box to be dumped out under the big Pecan tree in the back yard where her Mothers ashes are located among the deceased pets buried there over the years and we are still arguing about a funeral. They costs extra..I dont need it and I have told her the money saved is to be used to fund an informal going away party at the Sports Grill. Allowing all my old chums to drink all the cheap beer and whiskey with free Tacos they can hold. Im trying to figure out how to keep out the moochers who show up claiming we was pals? I was thinking maybe to issue distinctive bracelets before hand. Any other theories? Thanks.


You can't keep me out. I will eat more tacos and drink more beer than anybody else &#8230; in your memory, of course. 
My will even has a directive to post here at PF and let everyone know that I finished well.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

I have a very clean diet--that's not my issue.

My problem is "my mouth" and the resounding long list of enemies. Oh well, most of them are simply relatives...


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## Joe (Nov 1, 2016)

@Marica Just make sure you have a living will made out. So that in case you are cognitively impaired by some means your folks will know to what extent you want your life preserved


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## MaterielGeneral (Jan 27, 2015)

Marica said:


> So we had an experience here on the Farm that was as close to being dead as I want to experience.
> 
> Given such an experience, who do you contact? Do you have a protocol?
> 
> ...


I haven't read the thread. I just figured the books would fit the title.


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## KUSA (Apr 21, 2016)

Being dead - this is something that all of us will experience soon. Everything you own will be the possession of someone else in a few hundred days or less.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Actually, KUSA, that's how I wish to go. Healthy. Angry. Dying in seconds, not hours.

I hear lots of guys wish they go at a ripe old age. Yikes, they should have been me in my teens.

Due to health concerns and the luxury of 24/7 nursing care, my dad reluctantly took my Grandmother to the Milwaukee County home for the aged. Yikes, she hated that move and let my dad know about it long and loud!

As that teenage boy, I wondered why we had a spare bedroom and Grandma wasn't living there. But slowly, I began to see changes in her, and like my own mother, my Grandmother started to slip into dementia. My dad had known all along, and did the most kindly thing he could think of.

So, do I find it frightening to imagine being surround by bangers at the mall? Well, yeah, they're all complete newbies with real guns, so I might have to wait until I'm actually wounded. But I must admit, that soft blue light from my Guardian Angel and being rid of this deteriating planet will be a joy.

Heck, just being rid of Pelosi will be worth the earthly exit...


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## SGT E (Feb 25, 2015)

VA Doc asked me if I had guns in the home and I told him no way!...If I wanted to off myself I'd take a walk east down the High Speed east bound rails of the rail road tracks that run nearby...Just walk and reflect on life... (BTW I'm totally sign launguage Deaf!) I halfway expected the VA to roll up the tracks lol! I'll have an Urn...no announcement....and if I'm the last to go everything goes to the dog pound...screw my kids!


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

SGT E said:


> VA Doc asked me if I had guns in the home and I told him no way!...If I wanted to off myself I'd take a walk east down the High Speed east bound rails of the rail road tracks that run nearby...Just walk and reflect on life... (BTW I'm totally sign launguage Deaf!) I halfway expected the VA to roll up the tracks lol! I'll have an Urn...no announcement....and if I'm the last to go everything goes to the dog pound...screw my kids!


Yeah, I have had that question myself at the VA, and I said no. Then I told them, that it is easy to kill myself if I wanted to. 
All I need to do, is step in front of a fast moving truck, and shazam! Death is easy to do, it is the living that is hard.
Doctors are presumptuous, and they think that they are the arbiters and deciders, and they are not. The person is the arbiter of his own life, not them.


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

I don't think it's at all blessing to go quick. I'd rather have time get the sacraments and say my goodbyes to loved ones.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

When I go, I want it to be in bed next to a 21 year old blond bimbo, a bottle of Jack on the nightstand, and a smile on my face. :devil:


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

As the saying goes about life, no one gets out alive.


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Prepared One said:


> When I go, I want it to be in bed next to a 21 year old blond bimbo, a bottle of Jack on the nightstand, and a smile on my face. :devil:


Always thought being shot by a jealous husband at age 110 would be a good way to go.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

I want to live out my days in a warmer state--like Arizona--where I won't be bothered under my new assumed name.

I think boomers will be living to +110 years by then, still drawing somewhat of what our great-grandchildren knew as 'Social Security' and getting free government catheters by USPS. 

My wife and I will still be together, and I just got her a new T-shirt with her name emboldened on it--so I can remember it for the nursing home...


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