# LFI's rant against Sheep!!!



## LunaticFringeInc (Nov 20, 2012)

There I was, in my warm cozy bed, cold front just blew in, the temp has dropped about 20 degrees in the last two hours, when the phone rang at 2300 something...You just know that's gonna suck! I disappointed either I might add...

One of the brain dead duffis's that works security for my company called to say he had a flat. Said he had a spare but he didn't have a jack or a lug wrench. Now aint that just special? I get outta bed, get dressed head out into the cold night burning up my gas and cutting into my sleep time which means I will be butt tired tomorrow at work teaching Drivers Ed to 15 year olds. Arent I the lucky one?

I sent patrol out to drop off a jack and hoped that the lug wrench in the patrol unit would fit the car. God hates me, apparently. It didn't fit the lugs on the tire. Between the two of them they did finally figure out how to use a jack and they did get the car up on the jack. So I got called and had to go and plat Capt Save America so my patrol officer could get on with his duties.

I get there, in the dark and access the situation and play Dr Itll B Alright. Yeah he had a flat alright. That's code for I was stupid and got a flat and I drove 5 miles on it until the tire was absolutely shredded and the rim so bent out of shape it want even remotely round anymore. I had to wonder if he went out of his way to hit every pot hole and section of uneven pavement on the way in to work. At least he has a spare and it was holding air, I guess something went right. I look at the jack and its fully extended. Then I look at where the car is, on a hill pointed down the hill, the brake is set but the wheels aint chocked. I am sitting there thinking what the hell were these two thinking, oh yeah, that's right they weren't! At this point I am seriously thinking I need a stiff double or two before I bash someones brains in for being stupid.

I start loosing the lug nuts on the tire being careful to stay well clear if the car should fall on the jack so I don't get hurt. I get the tire off and I grab the good one and start trying to fit it to the rotor. Yeah I just knew it wasn't going to be that easy. The car wasn't high enough to get the new tire on with air in it. Slid the old tire under the car frame and lowered the jack. Found a 4x8 block of wood at the marina boat yard after giving up on duffis finding one anytime soon as well as a brick to chock the tires with so the car doesn't roll on me. 3 minutes later I have the new tire on the gear stowed back in my car minus the lug wrench which he will need later to re-tighten the lug nuts with.

You know I don't mind helping someone if I can and they are in need. But its awful flustrating to deal with people who aint got the brains to at least help themselves. How the hell does a grown man older than I am, not have the equipment in his car to change a flat tire. How does a grown man that age not KNOW how to change a tire better yet! I mean really? Even 15 year old girls at my Driver Ed school know how to change a tire, of course I was that Nazi that made them get their hands dirty and break a nail or two learning how its properly done. I was the Nazi that showed them how to properly jump start a car too. They also know how to tell if the battery was the problem or the altenator so they don't get ripped off by the mechanic shop when they take the car in to get it fixed! I also pulled the 12 gallon tote out of the back of my whoopty car, and showed them all the stuff they should have with them in their car so they can significantly reduce the odds of being stranded on the side of the road late at night so they don't have to worry about Ted Bundy coming along to "rescue" them. How in the hell does a 50 something year old man not know this stuff?

Okay I feel better now that I got that off my chest. I even think my blood pressure has came down enough that labs have equipment that can test that high too. But on a more serious note...do you run across people this stupid and as unprepared for even the simplist of lifes emergencies, as often as I do?


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## Mic (Jul 19, 2012)

That sucks! Now take that double and get to sleep.


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

wow, nice rant... you should know by now not to have too higher hopes for humanity.... 

add to the important skills list next time you're hiring... do you know how to change a tire?? and people wonder why such questions need to be asked...

have a triple and pass out, but wait for the phone call.that he has another flat


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## Just Sayin' (Dec 5, 2013)

Run across them everyday...

All they lack is the make-up and they could be extras on the Walking Dead.

And the powers that be frown upon killing them. Sucks sometimes.


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## LunaticFringeInc (Nov 20, 2012)

pheniox17 said:


> wow, nice rant... you should know by now not to have too higher hopes for humanity....
> 
> add to the important skills list next time you're hiring... do you know how to change a tire?? and people wonder why such questions need to be asked...
> 
> have a triple and pass out, but wait for the phone call.that he has another flat


If he calls to tell me he has another flat, I am going to help him alright...with an AK-47 and a 30 round clip to go! Darwin needs to get hot and do a much better job of removing these folks from the gene pool so it doesn't get more contaminated than it already is.


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## LunaticFringeInc (Nov 20, 2012)

Just Sayin' said:


> Run across them everyday...
> 
> All they lack is the make-up and they could be extras on the Walking Dead.
> 
> And the powers that be frown upon killing them. Sucks sometimes.


Aint that the truth!


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

LunaticFringeInc said:


> If he calls to tell me he has another flat, I am going to help him alright...with an AK-47 and a 30 round clip to go! Darwin needs to get hot and do a much better job of removing these folks from the gene pool so it doesn't get more contaminated than it already is.


too late for that bro, it's like a hydra, except kill one, 20 take their place lol

all you can do is pray, (and enjoy a stiff drink)


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## Rigged for Quiet (Mar 3, 2013)

You can lead a sheep to knowledge, but you can't make it think.


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## Moonshinedave (Mar 28, 2013)

Sounds like you had a pretty bad night. Yeah, I know the people you are speaking of. Completely helpless. Along with the spare and tools to change it, I also carry a tire plug kit and a 12volt air compressor. I find that about 98% of all flats are due to a small puncher, nail or something of the sorts. I can plug the tire and air it up much faster and less effort than changing the tire. But of course, if changing a tire was above him, I figure plugging it would have been a reach?


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## budgetprepp-n (Apr 7, 2013)

Damn,,,,,,,That sounds like a nightmare


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

My friend needed help with a flat at work. I was more than happy to let him use my floor jack that I had in my van since I misplaced the little one that comes with the van.

He starting jacking up the other side of his Pickup.


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

We have been breeding stupidity for decades. I am usually a pretty easy going guy but stupidity is one thing I have a seriously hard time dealing with.


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## alterego (Jan 27, 2013)

Magazine damn it. Not a clip. Clips are for belt fed machine guns or stripper clips. Magazines go in AK s learn it know it say it.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

That is why I call them "window lickers"...


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## jimb1972 (Nov 12, 2012)

I keep two spares, first aid kit, road flares, fire extinguisher, jumper cables, jack, 4-way, miscellaneous tools, and a bunch of other crap I can't even remember at the moment in my truck. Thats just the crap I think everyone should have and carried before I was a prepper.


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## paraquack (Mar 1, 2013)

LunaticFringeInc said:


> If he calls to tell me he has another flat, I am going to help him alright...with an AK-47 and a 30 round clip to go! Darwin needs to get hot and do a much better job of removing these folks from the gene pool so it doesn't get more contaminated than it already is.


Unfortunately in a modern society, the bad genes don't get removed from life by nature. Bad genes are allowed to continue and multiply. Eventually the bad genes realize they are like wolves in a heard of sheep and take full advantage. I agree with pheniox, you need to ask more questions when interviewing people for hire. You know, like, "(fill in the blank)".


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## Piratesailor (Nov 9, 2012)

Ok, now that's a rant I actually enjoyed reading. Made perfect sense.


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## LunaticFringeInc (Nov 20, 2012)

Moonshinedave said:


> Sounds like you had a pretty bad night. Yeah, I know the people you are speaking of. Completely helpless. Along with the spare and tools to change it, I also carry a tire plug kit and a 12volt air compressor. I find that about 98% of all flats are due to a small puncher, nail or something of the sorts. I can plug the tire and air it up much faster and less effort than changing the tire. But of course, if changing a tire was above him, I figure plugging it would have been a reach?


Your so right Dave. I don't have the air compressor but I do have a manual pump that will give you a little work out in a worst case scenario. These are all simple things to have and easy things to do. Great things for a woman to have as she might not have the strength or the weight to break a lug nut loose on her tire. I mean even I have had a tough time getting a lug nut loose and I am 180 5-11 and in pretty damn good shape! A tire plugging kit would be awesome and a compressor in such a case to limp to some place to get some help safely or home.


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## retired guard (Mar 7, 2013)

I know you said so in the rant but are you sure that these two were adults? How do you go that far in life and not know how to change a tire or have the basic tools to do so and yet some how work up the temerity to call your boss for help?


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## inceptor (Nov 19, 2012)

Even a can of Fix-a-Flat is better than nothing.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

This whole thing reminds me of an adventure I had in Detroit a couple years ago. Here is an e-mail that I wrote to a friend describing the incident at the time:



> This week I am in the lovely vacation hot spot of Detroit, Michigan. There are a lot of things about Detroit that suck: the food, the squalor, the Democrats and basically everything else. But one thing that had always impressed me about Detroit was the rental cars. I had always had great rentals cars in Detroit.
> 
> I was here about a month ago and Hertz gave me a Mustang GT as a free upgrade. Detroit is not the best place to be driving a 412 HP muscle car with a 6-speed manual transmission, but I did my best to enjoy the situation. The recession has hit hard here and many of the roads have not been maintained for years. Some have even reverted to basically dirt roads. But I was not about to let a little thing like lack of pavement intrude on the fun I could have with the Mustang.
> 
> ...


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## Just Sayin' (Dec 5, 2013)

Awesome story, Inor! LOL

Your handling of such a sticky situation was a credit to your ability to survive the coming apocalypse. When I'm bugging out and I see a vehicle throwing rubber and sparks, I will gladly get out of your way! lol


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## PrepConsultant (Aug 28, 2012)

Even on the 4 wheelers here on the ranch we keep tire plugs and air compressors. I bet we plug a tire at least 3 times a week per 4 wheeler it seems like. But when you are 30-40 miles from the house and it is 20 degrees out and getting dark. They sure do come in handy... This fall I had a little accident and split my chin open good. The rt front tire was flat (off the rim) and I drove it about 18 miles to the house.. It didn't even cause that much damage. Granted, I was kneeling on the very back of the 4 wheeler tryin to keep all the weight on the back. It was a pain in the ass to steer but made it home.. When I got home I was covered in blood from the accident and everyone thought I was a lot worse than I was. It is always good to keep some med supplies on you as well..


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

LunaticFringeInc said:


> ...One of the brain dead duffis's that works security for my company..


Who hired the BDD's in the first place? Let HIM go bail them out of their scrapes, it's nothing to do with you..


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## LunaticFringeInc (Nov 20, 2012)

retired guard said:


> I know you said so in the rant but are you sure that these two were adults? How do you go that far in life and not know how to change a tire or have the basic tools to do so and yet some how work up the temerity to call your boss for help?


You know I am still trying to figure that one out...still haven't been able to answer that one after all these years.


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## LunaticFringeInc (Nov 20, 2012)

Lucky Jim said:


> Who hired the BDD's in the first place? Let HIM go bail them out of their scrapes, it's nothing to do with you..


That was tempting as this aint the first time I have had to rescue this clown on my night off! Unfortunately I am the second banana and don't do all the hiring or firing. Several that I have fired...are again working for us, go figure! The bad part is they think they rate a pay raise!!!

I realize security work don't pay that well here, but damn, how does one make it through life 50 years and be so clueless and unprepared?


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## Montana Rancher (Mar 4, 2013)

Haha

My children x5 (oldest now 28, youngest 18) know I am there for them whatever the situation, but if they want a dado-cheapo brake job they are buying the parts and watching me do the job. 2 of them just decide to hire someone else and this is fine, but my oldest son is a mechanical genius and really has the skills. My middle daughter is a welder, she had done it in civilian work and later was a welder in the army in Afganistan.

My point is teach your children well, not all of them will learn it but at least you tried.

As a side point, at Thanksgiving all the kids were home and their fondest memory of the Ranch was bucking hay bales onto the flatbed, we did about 50-60 tons a year back then by hand (small squares).

They bitched and moaned about it when I forced them to help, now it is their fondest memory.

I love my kids, most of them shoot really well too, but that part they really liked!


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## StarPD45 (Nov 13, 2012)

alterego said:


> Magazine damn it. Not a clip. Clips are for belt fed machine guns or stripper clips. Magazines go in AK s learn it know it say it.


Clips are for Garands. :wink:


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## StarPD45 (Nov 13, 2012)

Funny thing about spares. My new car, like so many nowadays, didn't come with a spare. It had a thing of goo and an air pump. Crazy.
My truck, on the other hand, has all of the necessities.


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## LunaticFringeInc (Nov 20, 2012)

Yeah I just bought a 2007 Pontiac G-6 that came with a little donut...tossed it in the garbage where it belongs and got a "real" spare to keep in the trunk in case I needed it! I wanna a fix not a band aid! And you know it don't take any more time to fix it right the first time than it does to half ass it on the side of the road putting a donut on it either! Unlike most folks...I actually check my spare every week or two to make sure its good to go, BEFORE I NEED IT! Surprises really suck, especially when your stranded on the side of the road!


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## pheniox17 (Dec 12, 2013)

"space savers" are fun, make good burn.out tires

disclaimer... when.used in a privately owned property or a burn.out pad.... yea right


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