# I Kill Threads



## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

I kill threads. That's what I see. That's my dread. 

Anybody else have that nightmare?


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

Maybe you got the big stick and they're afraid you're gonna swing it...


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

StratMaster said:


> Maybe you got the big stick and they're afraid you're gonna swing it...


When do I swing it?


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

You're a moderator, and even in a forum there's a sense of hierarchy.

My FIL was the patriarch of his family. When we got together we might debate and exchange ideas for an hour. Then my FIL would intone one, simple sentence, and it would tie up all loose threads and be a reasonable solution to the problem everyone had.

But I understand your position. You have a dichotomy. You have a forum to oversee, and yet you want to be "one of the guys."

Personally, I dislike being in a position of leadership. I never held an office in the MC and even in business I only had two or three subordinates. My sincere advice is to pick one guise. Be a moderator if you think your contribution improves the discussion. But to me it sounds like you'd like to chuck "the brass" and have some down-time.


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## Camel923 (Aug 13, 2014)

What about strings?


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

The Tourist said:


> You're a moderator, and even in a forum there's a sense of hierarchy.
> 
> My FIL was the patriarch of his family. When we got together we might debate and exchange ideas for an hour. Then my FIL would intone one, simple sentence, and it would tie up all loose threads and be a reasonable solution to the problem everyone had.
> 
> ...


I'm a moderator? That's my reason for being? Really? You suck.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Denton said:


> I kill threads....


I say stupid shit.

(What is this, a dork measuring contest?:vs_blush


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Not even 6 am yet. let me finish my first pot of coffee. Mod's got do what they think is right if I get your point. If your get it wrong it will still all work out. If you let things go to far the forum suffers.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Denton said:


> I'm a moderator? That's my reason for being? Really? You suck.


That's not what I meant, you're trying to do two opposite things. One, be the rule keeper, two, have fun with the boys. Think of it as taking a priest to bachelor party. Everyone is having fun, you have to be the voice of reason.

Did you ever watch M.A.S.H.? One episode had 'Hot Lips' feeling excluded when the nurses got together for coffee after their shift. This is much the same.

I wouldn't be a moderator if Annie gave me five years of vacuum sealed Velveeta.


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

The Tourist said:


> I wouldn't be a moderator if Annie gave me five years of vacuum sealed Velveeta.


Yes you would.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Annie said:


> Yes you would.


If Susan Anton delivers it, okay. I have standards.


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

Denton said:


> I kill threads. That's what I see. That's my dread.


You do a good, job. Don't overthink it. :tango_face_smile:



> Anybody else have that nightmare?


No, not really. Maybe 'cause I'm not one of the boys?


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Say, Annie, I've got an idea--and this one doesn't involve goats and glow-in-the-dark paint.

Ask Denton if he'd like to be a "guy" or a "member" for a month? No duties, just "hoe-handle" under his name and nothing much to do but warm up his cold coffee and catch the name of that woman before she leaves. (Her name was Cache' or Crochet or Cricket or something).

After a month, I'll bet you'll want to try it too. The captain always goes down with the ship, so who wants to be a captain?


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

Slippy said:


> I say stupid shit.
> 
> (What is this, a dork measuring contest?:vs_blush


I speak the truth and I tell folks when they say stupid crap. That can't be all that bad, can it?


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

Annie said:


> No, not really. Maybe 'cause I'm not one of the boys?


Yea ya are, you just haven't owned it yet.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

A Watchman said:


> I speak the truth and I tell folks when they say stupid crap. That can't be all that bad, can it?


Maybe we just found the answer. Why don't you swap duties with Denton? I think he needs some R/R. Additionally, I think he's too careful with his discourse, where us members can push the line. You might find the job a impossible, and he might feel like he's running through a sprinkler nekkid.


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## hawgrider (Oct 24, 2014)

Denton said:


> I kill threads. That's what I see. That's my dread.
> 
> Anybody else have that nightmare?


Stop drinking onion soup before bed time and the nightmares will go away. Drink bourbon instead then.... you won't care. Your welcome.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

I always look at Denton as the bartender down at my favorite joint, always a friend, always glad to see ya. He listens to your crap, he debates philosophy, women, life, or even which oil is best in your truck. Weddings, break ups, fights, wakes, birthdays, Superbowl parties, BBQ's. he's seen them all at his bar. Yeah, he has to herd cats every now and again and every so often toss someone out of the joint. But hey! It's the internet, if asked pleasantly, or sometimes unpleasantly, to leave the establishment, Like the bar, there is always another forum just around the corner.

Of all the people I know at the bar he is the first one I speak to and shake his hand. Yep, it's his bar, and it's a good joint. Don't let a couple of stray cats keep you up at night @Denton.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

hawgrider said:


> Stop drinking onion soup before bed time and the nightmares will go away. Drink bourbon instead then.... you won't care. Your welcome.


Works for me. :devil:


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Annie said:


> You do a good, job. Don't overthink it. :tango_face_smile:
> 
> No, not really. Maybe 'cause I'm not one of the boys?


I think we all claim you as our own. Your one of the boy's Annie. :vs_smile:


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Prepared One said:


> I always look at Denton as the bartender down at my favorite joint, always a friend, always glad to see ya. He listens to your crap.


My wife tells me that the care-giver actually suffers more than the patient. I can come here anytime I want, and when I get sick of the banter, I can go over to KimberTalk, or to bed.

Moderators have duties, and sometimes a "standard" to show in heated debates and idiots that simply ask to be banned. I couldn't do that job. I wanted to be retired, not go looking for another job.

And the problem is that Denton is a nice guy, and notice the forum had a 'ban' yesterday. Interpersonal disputes have shrapnel, and guys need a break.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

I was a Mod on a motorcycle forum. It grew and was going well. A vendor was clearly breaking the rules and I called them out. It seems it is ok to break any forum rules and lie to customers if your paying the bills. I learned a lot about back door deals on forums.
Fake posts to plug a product ect but that life. MODs put in a lot of work on some sights trying to do what is right.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

I see y'all are new to internet forums. This is an old gag and it has nothing to do with anyone being a moderator.

See, I whine about being a thread-killer. That is to say, I have a propensity for saying things that are so stupid or so brilliant that nobody sees a reason to write anything else in the thread. See?
Now, the other members look at the thread-killer thread and have to think about replying to the thread-killer thread. After all, who wants to be the last one to write in a thread-killer thread?


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

Prepared One said:


> I think we all claim you as our own. Your one of the boy's Annie. :vs_smile:


Thanks, Prepared one... I know you mean that in a good way, so that's how I'll take it.


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

Denton said:


> I see y'all are new to internet forums. This is an old gag and it has nothing to do with anyone being a moderator.
> 
> See, I whine about being a thread-killer. That is to say, I have a propensity for saying things that are so stupid or so brilliant that nobody sees a reason to write anything else in the thread. See?
> Now, the other members look at the thread-killer thread and have to think about replying to the thread-killer thread. After all, who wants to be the last one to write in a thread-killer thread?


You may well have just done it again, chief.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Smitty901 said:


> I was a Mod on a motorcycle forum.


Which forum? I got banned from quite a few.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

Denton said:


> I kill threads. That's what I see. That's my dread.
> 
> Anybody else have that nightmare?


I moderate myself, within reason, and there are things that I have not said, because of a fear of being banned. But, you can bet, if I want to say if badly enough, I will.
This forum has been squelched for other reasons too, such as Canadian ownership, and people don't trust the Canadians to be honest anymore.
Having said that, you have been honest, and so have the other moderators, and so has Cricket. I know that she must get tired of cheap shots, as you do.

Life is a boxing match, with rules, and so is this forum, and there are limits as to how much trash talk that will be tolerated. So, you are only partly responsible for threads dying off.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

Denton said:


> I see y'all are new to internet forums. This is an old gag and it has nothing to do with anyone being a moderator.
> 
> See, I whine about being a thread-killer. That is to say, I have a propensity for saying things that are so stupid or so brilliant that nobody sees a reason to write anything else in the thread. See?
> Now, the other members look at the thread-killer thread and have to think about replying to the thread-killer thread. After all, who wants to be the last one to write in a thread-killer thread?





Annie said:


> You may well have just done it again, chief.


OW! Is that Annie dealing out a painful insight? Yeah, it is.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

MisterMills357 said:


> I moderate myself, within reason, and there are things that I have not said, because of a fear of being banned. But, you can bet, if I want to say if badly enough, I will.
> This forum has been squelched for other reasons too, such as Canadian ownership, and people don't trust the Canadians to be honest anymore.
> Having said that, you have been honest, and so have the other moderators, and so has Cricket. I know that she must get tired of cheap shots, as you do.
> 
> Life is a boxing match, with rules, and so is this forum, and there are limits as to how much trash talk that will be tolerated. So, you are only partly responsible for threads dying off.


Thanks, but you're missing the concept. 
Search, "am I a thread killer."

This is a forum game based on the notion of being a thread killer.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

Denton said:


> Thanks, but you're missing the concept.
> Search, "am I a thread killer."
> 
> This is a forum game based on the notion of being a thread killer.


OH, Well OK, as usual I missed the point. Here is what I thought that you meant.

"Kind of noticed a pattern, I will make a post and as soon as I do or shortly afterwards the thread dies. Rough, lol I just wanna discuss MMA ."

https://www.mixedmartialarts.com/forums/OtherGround/Am-I-a-thread-killer:2433487-1

I thought that it meant that you had the Midas Touch in reverse. You know, you touch gold and it turns into lead.:devil:


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Denton said:


> I see y'all are new to internet forums. This is an old gag and it has nothing to do with anyone being a moderator.





MisterMills357 said:


> This forum has been squelched for other reasons too, such as Canadian ownership.


Well, there goes our foreign members. I think Yavanna said something naughty, but I don't speak Portuguese. Then some Canadian from Yellow Knife told me to put a 'serviette' where the tariffs don't shine.

...and I was one candy machine and a fake passport away from hiding out in Brazil...


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

The Tourist said:


> Well, there goes our foreign members. I think Yavanna said something naughty, but I don't speak Portuguese. Then some Canadian from Yellow Knife told me to put a 'serviette' where the tariffs don't shine.
> 
> ...and I was one candy machine and a fake passport away from hiding out in Brazil...


It's a good thing that I don't know what 'serviette' means, plus I am too lazy and stupid to look it up. Otherwise I would be outraged.


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

Don't really know were this all began...But Denton as a Moderator is probably the only reason I'm back on this site.....Sober....


Me?....I kill terrorists.... I used to kill bottles of Gin and Terrorists.


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## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

If @Denton had said he killed weeds I'd of hired him.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

OK @Denton, I'll give it my best shot: who would like to discuss my colonoscopy and endoscopy procedures? Had them both yesterday. They said I could save a little money if they could use the same hose, but even though I live on a pension I sprung for the two. Sometimes you just gotta treat yourself, ya know? Anyways, everyone chime in... let's talk polyps!


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> That's not what I meant, you're trying to do two opposite things. One, be the rule keeper, two, have fun with the boys. Think of it as taking a priest to bachelor party. Everyone is having fun, you have to be the voice of reason.
> 
> Did you ever watch M.A.S.H.? One episode had 'Hot Lips' feeling excluded when the nurses got together for coffee after their shift. This is much the same.
> 
> I wouldn't be a moderator if Annie gave me five years of vacuum sealed Velveeta.


Good points as usual. Being the big cheese is stressful..thats why they get the big money. This strikes me as the same horns of a dielemma my dearly deceased Daddy in Law faced after a mid life career change from being a truck driver to owning and operating the bar he like to hang out in. He discovred you could either drink with the customers and turn into a full blown alcoholic...or dont drink with em and get drove crazy for being sober around a bunch of drunks all day and night. So he tried it both ways. After his liver zonked he went crazy. He was a wonderful guy and was busy fighting Japs in the S. Pacific at age 15. He always say his honorable discharge paper and fifty cents could buy a cup of coffee..that was when fifty cents was the going rate for a cup a joe. 80s maybe.


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## jimb1972 (Nov 12, 2012)

Well thought out, rational comments tend to kill threads.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

StratMaster said:


> OK @Denton, I'll give it my best shot: who would like to discuss my colonoscopy and endoscopy procedures? Had them both yesterday. They said I could save a little money if they could use the same hose, but even though I live on a pension I sprung for the two. Sometimes you just gotta treat yourself, ya know? Anyways, everyone chime in... let's talk polyps!
> 
> View attachment 94127


How did you study for the test? Go lightly or a combo of OTC laxatives?


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

Old SF Guy said:


> Don't really know were this all began...But Denton as a Moderator is probably the only reason I'm back on this site.....Sober....
> 
> Me?....I kill terrorists.... I used to kill bottles of Gin and Terrorists.


I am honored by your words. I'm also very proud of your strength, not just at killing terrorists but also your sobriety. We want you around for many more decades.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Killing threads? Meh. It's what we do... :tango_face_grin:


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

Denton said:


> How did you study for the test? Go lightly or a combo of OTC laxatives?


Oh, you're gonna LOVE this... it's so very bad I don't even mind it's at my expense LOL.
I had to fast of course... and drink a giant container of devil's brew which tastes horrible and runs through you like a rapier through the bowels.
And... NO COFEE!!! People could have been hurt...
ANYWAY, I had just moved to Medford Oregon... so I had to drive like 150 miles north to my appointment WHILE drinking this Satan's elixir. Every gas station and rest stop along the way, I kid you not... and squirming and gnashing of teeth between each one. Had to leave my dignity by the side of the road about the 30 mile mark. I brought three spare changes of underwear, and was on my last pair before I even reached Eugene. So THAT'S how I prepped for the test. The only consolation: If you can survive 150 miles of THAT, you can live through anything.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

StratMaster said:


> Oh, you're gonna LOVE this... it's so very bad I don't even mind it's at my expense LOL.
> I had to fast of course... and drink a giant container of devil's brew which tastes horrible and runs through you like a rapier through the bowels.
> And... NO COFEE!!! People could have been hurt...
> ANYWAY, I had just moved to Medford Oregon... so I had to drive like 150 miles north to my appointment WHILE drinking this Satan's elixir. Every gas station and rest stop along the way, I kid you not... and squirming and gnashing of teeth between each one. Had to leave my dignity by the side of the road about the 30 mile mark. I brought three spare changes of underwear, and was on my last pair before I even reached Eugene. So THAT'S how I prepped for the test. The only consolation: If you can survive 150 miles of THAT, you can live through anything.
> ...


I have no idea how you managed that. No idea. What; the gas stations were spaced five minutes apart? I don't leave the house and am very happy that my house is a small one. There is NO WAY I would travel.


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Swinging the choo choo slowy back on the track....pretty sure I already told this story but old guys can get redundant so I will risk it yet again another time. I went into see the young Doc to get some pills for my gout..while wearing my old cop costume. He filled the order and say hey you need a colonoscopy by the way. I tried to convince him I had got one from the heart doctor....but he was a smart non affirmative action white boy Doc and could tell I was lying. I finally had to break down and point to the gun on my hip and ask him..Do you see that gun? He say yep...I see it. I say well it will be hot and empty before anybody sticks any furrin objects up my ass. He suddently decided I did not really need one anyway. Non affirmative action Docs are nice. Thats why I like Jewish Docs. They dont get any extra points on the final exams lol.


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

Denton said:


> I have no idea how you managed that. No idea. What; the gas stations were spaced five minutes apart? I don't leave the house and am very happy that my house is a small one. There is NO WAY I would travel.


I'll tell you how I managed it: VERY BADLY. Because of chance circumstances conspiring (and the dire need to not miss this test) I was forced into implementing this horrifically bad plan. I think I have PTSD (post traumatic sphincter disorder).


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

bigwheel said:


> Swinging the choo choo slowy back on the track....pretty sure I already told this story but old guys can get redundant so I will risk it yet again another time. I went into see the young Doc to get some pills for my gout..while wearing my old cop costume. He filled the order and say hey you need a colonoscopy by the way. I tried to convince him I had got one from the heart doctor....but he was a smart non affirmative action white boy Doc and could tell I was lying. I finally had to break down and point to the gun on my hip and ask him..Do you see that gun? He say yep...I see it. I say well it will be hot and empty before anybody sticks any furrin objects up my ass. He suddently decided I did not really need one anyway. No affirmative action Docs are nice. Thats why I like Jewish Docs. They dont get any extra points on the final exams lol.


This train has no direction and is off the tracks by design. Just don't be the last one to post. That is the goal. If you do, you killed the thread.

Now, I have Barretts esophagus, so I get the scoping up and down.I just ask that they go down before probing up. I just demand that the go down the throat and then go up the ass, and that they don't be chintsy with the Propofol.


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

Denton said:


> This train has no direction and is off the tracks by design. Just don't be the last one to post. That is the goal. If you do, you killed the thread.
> 
> Now, I have Barretts esophagus, so I get the scoping up and down.I just ask that they go down before probing up. I just demand that the go down the throat and then go up the ass, and that they don't be chintsy with the Propofol.


My buddy was diagnosed with Barrett's, and turned it around in a couple years by controlling his diet and reflux. His last test showed no abnormal cells in his esophagus. How are you doing as per your last test?


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

StratMaster said:


> My buddy was diagnosed with Barrett's, and turned it around in a couple years by controlling his diet and reflux. His last test showed no abnormal cells in his esophagus. How are you doing as per your last test?


The abnormality shrank at the last scoping. I think it had more to do with cold laser than diet as I really stepped up my consumption of spicy food. Gastritis changed my behavior, recently. No booze, no habanero sauce; no fun. I'm eating like a damned hippie, nowadays.

Barretts is no joke. It even went to the point of dysplastic cells. Still, it took the discomfort of gastritis to make me take things seriously.


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

Denton said:


> The abnormality shrank at the last scoping. I think it had more to do with cold laser than diet as I really stepped up my consumption of spicy food. Gastritis changed my behavior, recently. No booze, no habanero sauce; no fun. I'm eating like a damned hippie, nowadays.
> 
> Barretts is no joke. It even went to the point of dysplastic cells. Still, it took the discomfort of gastritis to make me take things seriously.


No fun: I feel your pain. I'm not supposed to have coffee (heart arrhythmia) or starches like pasta/rice/potatoes (fat bastard) or booze (screw 'em, bourbon is all that's left) or tobacco (emphysema) and I am basically a chemical neuter due to the many prescription drugs I am on. I get like 3 bites of food a day... a piece of cardboard with broccoli on top. The only fun left is displaying my curmudgeonly contempt for the world on this forum.


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

StratMaster said:


> No fun: I feel your pain. I'm not supposed to have coffee (heart arrhythmia) or starches like pasta/rice/potatoes (fat bastard) or booze (screw 'em, bourbon is all that's left) or tobacco (emphysema) and I am basically a chemical neuter due to the many prescription drugs I am on. I get like 3 bites of food a day... a piece of cardboard with broccoli on top. The only fun left is displaying my curmudgeonly contempt for the world on this forum.


We're glad you are here. Take care not to check out early.

Me? I'll try to do the right thing until I'm certain my mind is on the downhill side of the slippery slope. If that happens, I'm going to go full-on habanero sauce on everything I eat!


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Denton said:


> This train has no direction and is off the tracks by design. Just don't be the last one to post. That is the goal. If you do, you killed the thread...


Denton; It was a Glorious Day and I was down 'round your neck of the woods heading North out of FLA when the vast amount of food and drink that I had consumed in Miramar Beach over the last two days decided that my bowels needed a thorough thru and thru.

Somewhere North of De Funiak Springs, the dookie chills hit me and I'm here to tell you, the sweat began to drip off me like the Niagra Falls in August. I was in trouble. For any of you that driven this highway, you'll know there ain't a whole helluva lot of places to take a leisurely and clean sit-down so my anxiety was nearing manic levels.

I mashed the throttle on my trusty F-150 letting those ponies under the hood loose and was flying up 331 at break-neck speed, knowing that if a Trooper were to stop me I'd shit myself, hence profiding both of us at least a good story, so I was willing and able to risk a ticket. When lo and behold up yonder, I barely was able to pick up the mirage-like clamshell indicating a well known gas station was on the horizon.

Yes indeed bobcat-tail, Praise The Lord and Pass The Fried Chicken, my Oasis was indeed a Shell Service Station. I drove that half-ton pickup in hot, like Earnhardt making a pit stop at Talladega and exited the truck like the sumbitch was en-fuego. Feets Don't Fail Me Now, was my prayer and I sprinted my fat ass into the Shell Station.

There at the counter was this sun-dried pruned-skin lady, hell she coulda been 60, 90 or Dead, hell I didn't care I just needed the keys to the Men's room, or the Ladies, or the damn sink...I didn't care. I hollered something that to me sounded like BATHROOOOOOM! and prune-lady pointed her Marlboro with 3 inches of ash "That-A-Way...

I planted my right foot and made a cut that would of made Jerry Rice proud and smashed into the door of the el baño and there like a golden shrine was my beacon of light, my holy grail, my saving grace...the toilet. Unfortunately, the toilet was what you expected, old rusted, discolored with some sort of brownish liquid still in the bowl and almost a flourescent fluid on the floor.

Too Late To Discriminate, my ass was about to explode and Mt St. Helens got nothing on me, so I yanked down my chinos and commenced to release an explosion unlike any explosion ever heard North of De Funiak Springs, FLA...which seemed to go on and on and on...seconds turned to minutes and when I was done, I knew at that moment what it was like to give birth to Quintuplet Big Headed Andre The Giant type babies...

As I reached for the paper to clean myself up I noticed that the el baño door had no handle and it was cracked open at least 5 inches, giving me and old prune-face a clear shot at each other! EGADS! I kicked the door shut, continued my quest for Charmin and GOSH DAMNIT you guessed it! NO FREAKIN' TP!!!!!

"A little help here please", I pleaded with the sweet counter lady and I could see thru the space where the door knob should have been, Old Prune-Face slowly take a drag on her Marlboro, slowly get up and walk out of sight only to return and an old brown decrepid hand reach into the bathroom to hand me a roll of paper.

Screw it, I thought and like Hercules, I began to clean the stable...

Every ounce of dignity was gone but somehow I managed to tighten my belt on my chinos, tuck in my Izod shirt, flare up the collar and walk out of this shit-hole like I owned the damn place. "Thank you Ma'am, have a nice day" I half saluted Old Prune-Face and exited the service station no worse for wear.

What a glorious day!
:tango_face_wink:


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

Back in my "roaring twenties" we called it a buzz killer.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Annie said:


> Thanks, Prepared one... I know you mean that in a good way, so that's how I'll take it.


Yep, could have phrased that better I suppose. :tango_face_wink:


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## Chiefster23 (Feb 5, 2016)

Slippy said:


> Denton; It was a Glorious Day and I was down 'round your neck of the woods heading North out of FLA when the vast amount of food and drink that I had consumed in Miramar Beach over the last two days decided that my bowels needed a thorough thru and thru.
> 
> Somewhere North of De Funiak Springs, the dookie chills hit me and I'm here to tell you, the sweat began to drip off me like the Niagra Falls in August. I was in trouble. For any of you that driven this highway, you'll know there ain't a whole helluva lot of places to take a leisurely and clean sit-down so my anxiety was nearing manic levels.
> 
> ...


Slippy, you are a seriously deranged man! LOL:vs_laugh:


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Slippy said:


> Denton; It was a Glorious Day and I was down 'round your neck of the woods heading North out of FLA when the vast amount of food and drink that I had consumed in Miramar Beach over the last two days decided that my bowels needed a thorough thru and thru.
> 
> Somewhere North of De Funiak Springs, the dookie chills hit me and I'm here to tell you, the sweat began to drip off me like the Niagra Falls in August. I was in trouble. For any of you that driven this highway, you'll know there ain't a whole helluva lot of places to take a leisurely and clean sit-down so my anxiety was nearing manic levels.
> 
> ...


That is a wonderful thing! And at our advanced age, an accomplishment to be truly proud of!

It does not happen with me too often anymore, but I find that I can still work one up if I consume vast quantities of nothing but Mexican food and cheap beer for several days in a row. It usually begins with a large rumble from my belly beginning on the left and working its way across the middle and finally to the right sounding like a peel of thunder. When my colon starts singing the blues, I know that I am in for something special! And after blast-off, there is always an extra little spring in my step. I walk out feeling prouder than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made of bacon, knowing that I have just accomplished a great thing!

Nicely done boyo!


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## Old SF Guy (Dec 15, 2013)

StratMaster said:


> OK @Denton, I'll give it my best shot: who would like to discuss my colonoscopy and endoscopy procedures? Had them both yesterday. They said I could save a little money if they could use the same hose, but even though I live on a pension I sprung for the two. Sometimes you just gotta treat yourself, ya know? Anyways, everyone chime in... let's talk polyps!
> 
> View attachment 94127


Shit...I'd used the same scope...Just got to know what order to do it.


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

Old SF Guy said:


> Shit...I'd used the same scope...Just got to know what order to do it.


They put you to sleep... you could never be SURE.


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## modfan (Feb 18, 2016)

You got off easy. Last Monday, I had the camera and laser in a different orifice that isn't on my head. I was quite impressed when the camera was going in. It appeared everything had grown immensely. After that the balance of the visit was no fun.



StratMaster said:


> OK @Denton, I'll give it my best shot: who would like to discuss my colonoscopy and endoscopy procedures? Had them both yesterday. They said I could save a little money if they could use the same hose, but even though I live on a pension I sprung for the two. Sometimes you just gotta treat yourself, ya know? Anyways, everyone chime in... let's talk polyps!
> 
> View attachment 94127


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

In a former sales business we called folks like that "parade rainers."


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Denton, I look forward to your commentaries and your (sometimes) soft approach at humor and keeping order. I've seen some moderators just lock a thread instead of trying to regain control of a debate.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

StratMaster said:


> They put you to sleep... you could never be SURE.


They would have to put me to sleep. Otherwise, it ain't happening. :vs_no_no_no:


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

They were sneaky with me. I was on the gurney and the nurse had one of those plastic fittings that goes into your nose.

She told me, _"Here's the oxygen..."_

And that's the last thing I remember.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

*Another Try At It.*



Denton said:


> Thanks, but you're missing the concept.
> Search, "am I a thread killer."
> 
> This is a forum game based on the notion of being a thread killer.










How is this? That ought to kill any thread. It is a picture of a Wal Mart shopper.








Arrr yeee maties, she is a barrel of fun; and she is looking for her Popeye. [Another faithful Wal Mart gal.]


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

MisterMills357 said:


> View attachment 94167
> 
> How is this? That ought to kill any thread. It is a picture of a Wal Mart shopper.
> 
> ...


I don't know about killing the thread, but you killed my appetite...


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

MisterMills357 said:


> View attachment 94167
> 
> How is this? That ought to kill any thread. It is a picture of a Wal Mart shopper.
> 
> ...


Hey! I think I saw that gal with the sailor suite the other day at Walmart. She was buying bananas, strawberries, and cucumbers. :tango_face_grin:


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

MisterMills357 said:


> View attachment 94167
> 
> How is this? That ought to kill any thread. It is a picture of a Wal Mart shopper.
> 
> ...


All that big gal needs is a vertical stabilizer and a long enough runway...


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## ekim (Dec 28, 2012)

Denton, hate to say it but as a thread killer you have failed badly.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Denton, there is an upside. Lots of people see your name and skip over the thread. So you see, that's not really a "kill," it's actually more of a 'still-birth.'

You're not antagonizing as many people as you think.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

StratMaster said:


> All that big gal needs is a vertical stabilizer and a long enough runway...







She is the Antanov 124, when most guys are looking for a Lear Jet.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

StratMaster said:


> I don't know about killing the thread, but you killed my appetite...





Prepared One said:


> Hey! I think I saw that gal with the sailor suite the other day at Walmart. She was buying bananas, strawberries, and cucumbers. :tango_face_grin:


Ha, ha, ha! I will bet that she is plenty of fun! But, I ain't big and bad enough for something like her!


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

Fleet must be in...


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

StratMaster said:


> Fleet must be in...
> 
> View attachment 94189


And I will bet that she is ready to handle a room full of them. She doesn't look like the patient sort though; so any sailor that takes her on, had better be ready to go .


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## Sasquatch (Dec 12, 2014)

This thread to be killed just won't die!

Dammit, now I contributed to its survival!!!!

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

This is me before coffee.








And this is me after coffee.
So my life is a trade off, between dumb and dumnerrrr.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Let's fool Denton into telling us about the women he's dated. It's not an actual killing, I would characterize it as a "mass snooze."


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Sounds sorta like a guy I heard about. The ladies said he could do it neater and sweeter with less pizzle than anybody in town.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

No, you must have that wrong.

Your post says clearly "the ladies said." Obviously they had stayed awake for the entire disgusting interlude.

What you are describing is the residual effect of some fluid being filtered through _*fur*_. Fortunately, none of our moderators are fur covered...


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

Don't make me post obscene Hillary pictures. :devil:


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Prepared One said:


> Don't make me post _*obscene Hillary pictures*_.


Kind of an oxymoron. Wouldn't any picture of Hillary be obscene? I would put that in the same class as "quiet riot," or "military intelligence," and "rap music."

I think we should just take the 5 billion dollars and build a wall around Hillary and a cabana boy. When the Mexicans hear his cries of agony they will turn all caravans to Central America.


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

The Tourist said:


> Let's fool Denton into telling us about the women he's dated. It's not an actual killing, I would characterize it as a "mass snooze."





bigwheel said:


> Sounds sorta like a guy I heard about. The ladies said he could do it neater and sweeter with less pizzle than anybody in town.





The Tourist said:


> No, you must have that wrong.
> 
> Your post says clearly "the ladies said." Obviously they had stayed awake for the entire disgusting interlude.
> 
> What you are describing is the residual effect of some fluid being filtered through _*fur*_. Fortunately, none of our moderators are fur covered...


1. That's enough of that, Denton is only half as bad as his reputation, and I don't even know him personally. But this seemed like an opportune moment to suck up.:tango_face_smile:
2. Aren't all Sasquatch fur covered? There is a rumor that you can smell them downwind.:glasses:


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

MisterMills357 said:


> Aren't all Sasquatch fur covered? There is a rumor that you can smell them downwind.


At this moment, no one needs to buy a sharp knife more than you. It's a preppers' forum. You know, "learn to survive." So you razz a moderator?

Oh, and the knife. Full price and tax and shipping. *All up front*, you might not make it back...


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Well my trials and tribulations continue to mount. In addition to being in Fake Book jail for another weeek or two...I just got the said news I am now banned from the Texas Gun Forum for some type of poliical incorrect post over there. When it rains it pours huh? GAB.com still seems to love me a little.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

bigwheel said:


> I am now banned from the Texas Gun Forum.


Man, what do you have to do to get banned from a Texas _*anything*_? Did you put on a white beard and Mexican uniform and tell them you were "Santa Anna"?

Well, I shouldn't complain. I got banned from The Harley Riders Forum. I mean, a parking lot, knives, even brass knuckles--that I get. But I got a terse PM stating that my access to the forum had now been canceled. I felt so 'erudite.' To this day even the word creeps me out...


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## MisterMills357 (Apr 15, 2015)

The Tourist said:


> At this moment, no one needs to buy a sharp knife more than you. It's a preppers' forum. You know, "learn to survive." So you razz a moderator?
> 
> Oh, and the knife. Full price and tax and shipping. *All up front*, you might not make it back...





The Tourist said:


> Man, what do you have to do to get banned from a Texas _*anything*_? Did you put on a white beard and Mexican uniform and tell them you were "Santa Anna"?
> 
> Well, I shouldn't complain. I got banned from The Harley Riders Forum. I mean, a parking lot, knives, even brass knuckles--that I get. But I got a terse PM stating that my access to the forum had now been canceled. I felt so 'erudite.' To this day even the word creeps me out...


Me? I razzed a moderator? Surely you jest! It is the pot calling the kettle black. Besides, they can take it, there was nothing malign in my post. 
What is freedom of speech if it can't be exercised?
BTW: I am going to save up my pennies, and buy a knife from you. Do you have some good spring assist knives, or maybe a CRKT M16?


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## bigwheel (Sep 22, 2014)

Well I was telling a true story about the old S. Texas Sheriff who shot a democrat between the eyes point blank with a .380 and it didnt go into into his thick skull..just scooted over the top of his head and knocked him out for a while. I never know what name the black folks like to be called these days..I said the guy was a big ********...which I guess thats what got them all riled up since they sent me the word back in quotation marks. I didnt know they didnt like that since I have heard quite a few calling each other by that name. I was thinking it was an affectionate title closer to homie...dog...or boto..amigo etc. Shows what I know about eubonics I guess. Anyway the ending to the story describes how the Sheriff laid the .380 out of the steps of the courthouse and beat to to smitherens with a sledge hammer as the crowd cheered and he pulls out his band new Guvment .45 off duty gun. Hey maybe they just dont lke 1911s. hmmmm


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

MisterMills357 said:


> Do you have some good spring assist knives, or maybe a CRKT M16?


My catalog this year is thicker than a phone book. Just tell me what model you'd like, and I'll find it. (_BTW, I carry a spring assisted knife myself. It's not like the old days where I carried a switchblade with a five or six inch blade. I carry a "Spline." It's fast, it's small, and it can reach any artery._)

And yeah, I'll admit, I tease Annie. Cricket doesn't know me as well, but her penmanship is first rate--why, this 'restraining order' looks like calligraphy!


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

bigwheel said:


> I didn't know they didn't like that since I have heard quite a few calling each other by that name.


Well, okay. I was going to post a bigger picture of my avatar, and BTW, I'm German and Polish. I look darker, and well, so far no one has asked me to make them a pizza, but the day is coming...


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## Denton (Sep 18, 2012)

The Tourist said:


> Well, okay. I was going to post a bigger picture of my avatar, and BTW, I'm German and Polish. I look darker, and well, so far no one has asked me to make them a pizza, but the day is coming...


Been almost a week and you are the last one to post in this thread. Congratulations! You are the Thread Killa!

Unless you count this post.

Either way; congratulations!

Thread locked so nobody can still your glory.


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