# What NOT to do after SHTF (just for laughs and giggles)



## jdjones3109 (Oct 28, 2015)

I just responded to a post by saying that I've learned quite a few things NOT to do after SHTF from watching movies and television shows. I'm sure each of you have your own, so let's have some fun for a change. 

1. On the top of my list is to definitely not visit a brothel (they'll be the first thing to pop up after trading posts and saloons). I don't want to wind up with a VD when there's a shortage of medicine.

2. Going anywhere by myself. The guy hunting in the woods by himself or scavenging in a building alone is the first one to get killed or captured by marauders.

3. Taking in strangers. In the movies, the people who get taken in always feel entitled to have a say in how things are run and what to do moving forward. It always cracks me up how everyone feels as though everything has to be a democracy. I think worrying about the greater good is going to have to take a back door to the survival of me and my family.


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## Swedishsocialist (Jan 16, 2015)

I would brag to everyone about how much stocks I have, and tell them they might be hungry be I will be fine, and tell them were I live so they can stand outside and smell all my delicious food


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

Don't throw your gun when it's empty; just reload, dude.
Don't go into the basement alone.
Don't let a woman run away from the bad guy, she will definitely fall.


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## GTGallop (Nov 11, 2012)

Don't make nookie-nookie in the woods.

Come to think of it, don't do that now either. Ranger Rick will get you on the Registered Sex Offender list.


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## Grim Reality (Mar 19, 2014)

The last thing anyone should ever do, if unarmed and being pursued, is to pickup a weapon from one
of the fallen. What a horrible idea! Guns?! What could you POSSIBLY want with a GUN?!! I heard
that EXACT quote recently on TV. Sheeesh!

Do not presume that I believe all that I see there...the airwaves, while entertaining, are repositories
of Lunacy!

I have, from time to time, found myself SCREAMING at some of the morons on The Walking Dead! 

Anyone else ever do that?

I guess I just get into it a little too much! Silly me!

Grim


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## NotTooProudToHide (Nov 3, 2013)

Vote Democrat


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## Chipper (Dec 22, 2012)

Drive around in your BO rig for no reason.
Finally start to practice and sight in your firearm.


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## jdjones3109 (Oct 28, 2015)

Grim Reality said:


> The last thing anyone should ever do, if unarmed and being pursued, is to pickup a weapon from one
> of the fallen. What a horrible idea! Guns?! What could you POSSIBLY want with a GUN?!! I heard
> that EXACT quote recently on TV. Sheeesh!


Don't worry. My job is going to be run around and collect things that have been discarded. In addition to guns, I'm going to collect shoes, jackets, etc. Unless department stores survive, shoes and clothing are going to be hard to come by. Unless you're Rambo and want to run around wearing a burlap sack tied at the waist with a piece of wire. I can see it now, "I'm having a 1/2 price special on any piece of clothing with blood stains, knife holes, or zombie brains on them!"

That reminds me of another thing that I wouldn't do, which is walk around with blood or guts all over my face. How come a scratch from a zombie will make you become one, but blood splatter and zombie guts all over someone's face dripping down into their eyes, nose, and mouth is like no big deal? I've literally seen characters go through an entire movie/tv episode with blood and guts all over their faces. Don't get me started on them making out or having sex drenched in the stuff.


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## keith9365 (Apr 23, 2014)

GTGallop said:


> Don't make nookie-nookie in the woods.
> 
> Come to think of it, don't do that now either. Ranger Rick will get you on the Registered Sex Offender list.


Aint nuthin wrong with it! Does you good getting back to nature and all.


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## jdjones3109 (Oct 28, 2015)

Chipper said:


> Drive around in your BO rig for no reason.
> Finally start to practice and sight in your firearm.


According to film and tv, there's no need to sight your firearm. Good guys (even those who have never fired a gun) can hit whatever they aim at while bad guys can spray a room and never hit a damn thing! And if a bad guy does shoot you, it ALWAYS goes straight through, bleeds very little, and doesn't hurt the next day. I just watched an episode of The Dome where a woman had a steel rod go through her leg but was walking around the next day with a blood free bandage on and not so much as a limp.


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

GTGallop said:


> Don't make nookie-nookie in the woods.
> 
> Come to think of it, don't do that now either. Ranger Rick will get you on the Registered Sex Offender list.


3 other reasons around here
Poison Ivy
Poison Oak
Poison Sumac


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## Salt-N-Pepper (Aug 18, 2014)

GTGallop said:


> Don't make nookie-nookie in the woods.
> 
> Come to think of it, don't do that now either. Ranger Rick will get you on the Registered Sex Offender list.


Unless, of course, you own the woods... there's plenty of spots on my land where nookie-nookie would go un-noticed by anybody... of course, there's still the skeeters and ticks and poison ivy to watch for, but hey... it's the great outdoors


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## Stick (Sep 29, 2014)

GTGallop said:


> Don't make nookie-nookie in the woods.
> 
> Come to think of it, don't do that now either. Ranger Rick will get you on the Registered Sex Offender list.


It's the poison oak you really have to worry about. Don't ask how I know.

And now that I've read the rest, I don't feel so alone.


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## GTGallop (Nov 11, 2012)

AquaHull said:


> 3 other reasons around here
> Poison Ivy
> Poison Oak
> Poison Sumac


Camped along the N-Canadian River in Oklahoma. We bedded down in poison ivy (no tent). But to make an insulation layer, we pulled hay out of a round bale. So I ended up with Poison Ivy so bad I had to get steroid injections. It was in my blood stream the doc said. And I had more tics than I knew what to do with from the hay.


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## c.tiberius (Apr 28, 2015)

From the recent TWD episodes... Another stupid thing is having a notebook on you in our backpack with all your notes, caches maps, supply and ammo and family members .
(I've seen a bunch of YouTube survivalists doing this) . I would not have to much information on my person. I'm no Rambo so there's a big chance that my luck runs out. I don't want to be the one leading the bad wolf to my flock.


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## jdjones3109 (Oct 28, 2015)

From TWD, putting a person in charge of the armory who's totally unsuited to the task. For that matter, spending a year carting someone across the country and getting good peopled killed along the way simply because said person says that he can "save the world." I watched another show (Z Nation) where everyone dropped everything to do the same. Albeit I'm sure they were at least partially motivated by following around Kelita Smith's character who (for some unknown reason) never seemed to get around to buttoning her jacket.


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## c.tiberius (Apr 28, 2015)

jdjones3109 said:


> I watched another show (Z Nation) where everyone dropped everything to do the same. Albeit I'm sure they were at least partially motivated by following around Kelita Smith's character who (for some unknown reason) never seemed to get around to buttoning her jacket.


)) z nation) what a masterpiece.... I watch it just because it's funny how bad it is.
The waste of bullets is what gets to me the most in this type of shows.


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## Chipper (Dec 22, 2012)

Don't watch the last episodes of your favorite zombie movie to finalize your tactics.


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## jdjones3109 (Oct 28, 2015)

caliniuc.tiberiu said:


> )) z nation) what a masterpiece.... I watch it just because it's funny how bad it is.
> The waste of bullets is what gets to me the most in this type of shows.


All of those shows and movies are the same. They run out of bullets often, but are careless in the way they use them at the same time. I often wonder why they don't simply burn the roaming zombies en masse instead of wasting hundreds of bullets trying to shoot a flock of them.


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## Smitty901 (Nov 16, 2012)

Run out into the streets with joy because some gives an all clear message.


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## OctopusPrime (Dec 2, 2014)

1. I wouldn't go out into the wilderness and presume to know a edible from a poison.
2. Don't be too pretty, Men get raped as well.
3. I wouldn't want to be obese in shtf. If you are obese now you are already dead. So do some situps and run hike bike whatever it is you can do to get fit. 
4. If you are addicted to anything strive to become free from that addiction. Running out of alcohol may entice you to raid someone with alcohol in a desperate moment. The same goes for any addiction. 
5. The inability to be bored will get you killed or captured in a warzone.


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## TacticalCanuck (Aug 5, 2014)

I wouldn't eat Mexican food and stand by a fire.


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## Arklatex (May 24, 2014)

Don't go to the fema camp!!!


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## jdjones3109 (Oct 28, 2015)

OctopusPrime said:


> 1. I wouldn't go out into the wilderness and presume to know a edible from a poison.
> 2. Don't be too pretty, Men get raped as well.
> 3. I wouldn't want to be obese in shtf. If you are obese now you are already dead. So do some situps and run hike bike whatever it is you can do to get fit.
> 4. If you are addicted to anything strive to become free from that addiction. Running out of alcohol may entice you to raid someone with alcohol in a desperate moment. The same goes for any addiction.
> 5. The inability to be bored will get you killed or captured in a warzone.


I'm dead meat!


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## OctopusPrime (Dec 2, 2014)

jdjones3109 said:


> I'm dead meat!


because you are too pretty or too fat? lmao... if your a pretty fatman with an addiction you are indeed SOL :cupcake:


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## gambit (Sep 14, 2015)

its hard being sexy at times.

when on the move try to keep fire down to a minimum smell smoke light travels and if I am on the move with family I don't want people know I am in the area


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## A Watchman (Sep 14, 2015)

How come on every horror movie they do ALL of these things?


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## c.tiberius (Apr 28, 2015)

A Watchman said:


> How come on every horror movie they do ALL of these things?


They never give them a change, "they" always set them up for failure


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## SGG (Nov 25, 2015)

A Watchman said:


> How come on every horror movie they do ALL of these things?


Wouldn't be very "horrifying" if they did everything right. Be a pretty short movie


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## PrepperFF712 (Nov 12, 2015)

GTGallop said:


> Camped along the N-Canadian River in Oklahoma.


Does it sound like a babbling brook or does it just apologize for flowing around your feet?? #canadianjoke

I wouldn't go on any major highway. It seems that anytime there is a major event... the highways are just clogged to the max because someone forgot to fill the antifreeze....


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## jdjones3109 (Oct 28, 2015)

OctopusPrime said:


> because you are too pretty or too fat? lmao... if your a pretty fatman with an addiction you are indeed SOL :cupcake:


I'm average, but the absence of lesions and sores will make me down right handsome after SHTF (I plan on avoiding radiation and zombies). I've packed on a few extra pounds over the years, but that will also make me more desirable after SHTF. I'm sure the prettiest girl in the camp who hasn't eaten in 3 days will look at me and say, "I'll have what he's having!"


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## Seneca (Nov 16, 2012)

Don't join a nudist colony.


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## GTGallop (Nov 11, 2012)

PrepperFF712 said:


> I wouldn't go on any major highway. It seems that anytime there is a major event... the highways are just clogged to the max because someone forgot to fill the antifreeze....











I have seen the carnage left on freeways from people fleeing a hurricane. What was a 4 hour drive, took people 10. Cars broke down, ran out of gas, stations along the route ran out of gas, restaurants and stores along I-45 ran out of food. Batteries died from starting and stopping the engine to move 20 feet at a time. People were pulling off the road to pee in pushes, cars bumping each other because they were packed in. And a general failure to be civilized with each other. It gets Mad Max-y after an hour or two of sitting and going nowhere.

Meanwhile, we took "Farm To Market" Rural roads that closely mirrored the freeway and made the trip from Houston to Dallas in 5 hours and had no stoppages, shortages, outages, etc. Try playing with Google Maps and using the "Avoid Highways" feature.

On the return trip we drove past all of the dead vehicles and it was very post apocalyptic. Definitely a reality check and wake up call.


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## 1skrewsloose (Jun 3, 2013)

Lived in Dallas for ten years, farm to market roads work. Just don't break down, long ways between ranches and gas stations. Mostly unpaved if I remember, been 35 years or more.


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