# A Combative Mind or Just Violent Thoughts?



## SAR-1L (Mar 13, 2013)

This is a topic I only really felt maybe people here would understand.
Really too afraid to talk about it with people I know cause society is
so against aggression of any type even in the right situations.


I am no bad ass, I am not military, not some hard core expert or anything.
But I have always had what I've considered a combative mindset. A lot of it
probably comes from my upbringing, I didn't have it too rough I don't think,
I didn't grow up in the streets of Detroit, or in Mexico or some Middle East
sand pit.

But I have been stabbed, and shot more than just once in my twenty nine
years. I often attracted my fair share of school yard scuffles. Been nearly
strangle, drowned, and had a couple situations where I have had to handle
aggressive physical threats to friends and even some poor stranger once.

I would have to say I have had a somewhat violent past on the receiving end
of my life. But have worked hard to convince myself that not everything can be
handled physically.


Yet I have always had violent thoughts. But not towards people I care about,
not towards women or children or elderly or any of that, but on those that
prey on them.

I have started to worry sometimes cause I will be working, and maybe surfing
the web ( computer job ). I will read about how someone killed, raped or mutilated
some kid or woman. Or I will be watching tv where someone is about to rape a woman,
or kill a child. Then I start thinking what I would do if they did that to someone
I love, or one of the people I know, a neighbor. What would I do to that sick ****.

My mind begins to wander, it dwells, and I start mentally picturing some pretty gruesome
stuff. Stuff that society has told me is wrong, but I can't help thinking, if they can steal the
life of someone then shouldn't they forfeit their own? Didn't they give up their own right
to mercy the second they killed that woman or child in cold blood.

It makes me question who I really am deep down, what type of person I may be. I don't 
want to hurt any normal person. But when I think of intruders, rapist, or muderers, my mind
it clicks over and I think deep down I have a sick desire to turn back onto those types of 
people what they did to others. To make them feel in the worst way possible every moment.


Do any of you feel this way? Is it as wrong as it feels to have a desire to want to even worse
to those than what they do to the people we love and care about? Does it make me like them
to want to do those things to them as retribution for what they do to good people?

I sometimes worry what would happen if someone came into my house and I perceived them
as a threat to my life or my significant other, up front and personal with whatever was in reach
viciously maim that threat until it ceased to exist.

Do you think that it is a strong will to survive and protect, or just a violent part of me?


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## Reptilicus (Jan 4, 2014)

I understand what you are talking about. Sometimes happens to me when coming across a particularly disgusting, gruesome, evil story! I know the monster that lives within because I have seen what I can become. I keep that door locked! All I can say is that if it were a loved one of mine Heaven or Hell won't stop me!!!


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

Welcome to it. You're a human male.


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## jro1 (Mar 3, 2014)

SAR-1L said:


> This is a topic I only really felt maybe people here would understand.
> Really too afraid to talk about it with people I know cause society is
> so against aggression of any type even in the right situations.
> 
> ...









Old Chinese proverb I like to live by......


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## Smokin04 (Jan 29, 2014)

This is easy. 

You're a good person in heart with a solid mental fortitude. Your thoughts are rational and normal.

The fact that you are willing to kill the deviants is nothing more than natural selection playing out. Mentally sick people in historical times were just executed. It was easy to do back then. Today it's not that easy, although a lot wish it still was. 

Sleep well my friend, you are a protector. Nothing at all wrong with that.


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## Go2ndAmend (Apr 5, 2013)

You seem normal enough for me, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.


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## Seneca (Nov 16, 2012)

jro1,
the mosquito going to die, it's only the method that's in question.


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## sparkyprep (Jul 5, 2013)

Once, I was watching a movie with friends and family. The title of the movie was "Law Abiding Citizen". I won't give a full movie synopsis here, but if you have ever seen it, you will understand, and if you haven't, go watch it, it's good.

I found myself rooting for the bad guy in the movie, loudly, and adamantly. Many of my friends' wives were horrified that I would be so enthusiastically supportive of an "evil murderer". My wife, however, seemed to see my point of view, but still insisted that revenge solves nothing. A few of my guy friends sided with me, and some sided with their wives on the debate.

What I gathered from this debate is, some people are Alphas, and some are not. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with your train of thought. In the end, some will cower and accept the atrocities happening around them, and some will get up, and fight back.


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## Slippy (Nov 14, 2013)

Don't worry SAR, as you grow older and more mature, those thoughts will become more creative and globally oriented. Life's experiences will greatly broaden the type of destruction that you will want to reap upon evil or incompetent fools.


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## SAR-1L (Mar 13, 2013)

sparkyprep said:


> Once, I was watching a movie with friends and family. The title of the movie was "Law Abiding Citizen". I won't give a full movie synopsis here, but if you have ever seen it, you will understand, and if you haven't, go watch it, it's good.
> 
> I found myself rooting for the bad guy in the movie, loudly, and adamantly. Many of my friends' wives were horrified that I would be so enthusiastically supportive of an "evil murderer". My wife, however, seemed to see my point of view, but still insisted that revenge solves nothing. A few of my guy friends sided with me, and some sided with their wives on the debate.
> 
> What I gathered from this debate is, some people are Alphas, and some are not. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with your train of thought. In the end, some will cower and accept the atrocities happening around them, and some will get up, and fight back.


Sparky, it is one of my favorite movies.

Funny how he is labeled the bad guy in the movie, 
I myself can relate to his actions. When someone 
takes away your reason to live, then what else
would you have to live for than revenge.


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## SAR-1L (Mar 13, 2013)

Guys, I wanted to say thank you for the feedback and the reassurances.
It is really great to have people you can ask about those types of 
questions that are little too sensitive for most to discuss.


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## Inor (Mar 22, 2013)

SAR-1L said:


> Guys, I wanted to say thank you for the feedback and the reassurances.
> It is really great to have people you can ask about those types of
> questions that are little too sensitive for most to discuss.


In case you hadn't noticed, we're not really the sensitive touchy-feely types.


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## Rigged for Quiet (Mar 3, 2013)

SAR, I'm right there with you. Anyone who would prey on the weak or defenceless is a monster and does not deserve to walk amongst God's children.

I remember when Andrea Yates drown her six children, and how several couples were discussing it at a back yard BBQ and going on about how mentally ill she had to be to do that. My reply was they should have walked her out into the front yard, trained a news camera on her, and blown her brains out on national TV as a message to anyone who thought they do something like this and claim voices, satan, or God told them to do it.

We've not been invited back to that house since. So Be It.


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

SAR-1L said:


> This is a topic I only really felt maybe people here would understand.
> Really too afraid to talk about it with people I know cause society is
> so against aggression of any type even in the right situations.
> 
> ...


I grew up in DeToilet and I've never been shot , stabbed or really had to scrap much,most folks were bigger,so I had to be smarter and faster

Back in my 20's I could outrun most of the residents in DeToilet and not in a straight line.

Now living near S.A.N.G.B. was a different story, a fight every day at the bus stop.


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