# How to be a Gray Man



## Urinal Cake (Oct 19, 2013)

How to be a Gray Man

Living in the city, especially in densely populated areas, poses many dangers. Sad as it may seem, there will always be people willing to take down anyone to save their own skin.

For them, the weak and unsuspecting people usually make easy targets. If you're not careful, you might just be the next victim.

If this mentality is already present in cities today, just imagine what would happen when SHTF.

In a post collapse world, it's going to be every man for himself.

If you don't want to be the receiving end of criminals or lose the preps you've worked hard for, you have to learn how to defend yourself, to stay constantly on the move, and blend into a crowd, aka become the gray man.

The concept of being a gray man revolve around the idea of a person who does not draw attention to himself, who does not stand out from the crowd in any way.

He can weave through a large group of people without anyone looking at him or her twice.

This is useful in situations such as:

martial law and state of emergency
bugging out through the woods
hunkering down at home or at one's bug out location (to avoid "zombies" begging for food)
In cases when you are in harm's way, being invisible is not so bad.

But, in order to be a gray man, it takes more than just a change of clothes.

It's also about losing any distinct traits and mannerisms people will notice, and adjusting to the crowd's movement.

To see what it takes to become a gray man, read our quick guide below.

How to be a Gray Man | Prepping 1O1


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

I like this technique for a prolonged SHTF situation.

I bought a jeans jacket with a corduroy collar in a surplus store. Three sizes too big, baggy and mis-shapen, you know the type. I'm in the process of strategically wearing it out by washing it repeatedly, spotting it with chlorine and messing it up with some paint to make it look dirty. It's big enough to hide anything under it, and topped with a beat up old baseball cap with a local team's logo, I think It'll make me look like a distastefully un-memorable bum-type guy you would avoid so that I don't ask you for some change. "Hey buddy, can you help out an old altar boy?" 

I have to keep an eye on the wife, though. I caught her once throwing out some old shoes that were part of my Gray Man gear.


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

sideKahr said:


> I like this technique for a prolonged SHTF situation.
> 
> I bought a jeans jacket with a corduroy collar in a surplus store. Three sizes too big, baggy and mis-shapen, you know the type. I'm in the process of strategically wearing it out by washing it repeatedly, spotting it with chlorine and messing it up with some paint to make it look dirty. It's big enough to hide anything under it, and topped with a beat up old baseball cap with a local team's logo, I think It'll make me look like a distastefully un-memorable bum-type guy you would avoid so that I don't ask you for some change. "Hey buddy, can you help out an old altar boy?"
> 
> I have to keep an eye on the wife, though. I caught her once throwing out some old shoes that were part of my Gray Man gear.


Another thing would be to keep your face out of recognition software NOW as much as possible. Even though you might dump your devices at some point - not everyone will. The "Who is Near You" app will be a free download.


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

MountainGirl said:


> Another thing would be to keep your face out of recognition software NOW as much as possible. Even though you might dump your devices at some point - not everyone will. The "Who is Near You" app will be a free download.


That's a BIG problem, with photo driver's licenses and photo carry concealed permits and cameras recording practically your every move in public.


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

sideKahr said:


> That's a BIG problem, with photo driver's licenses and photo carry concealed permits and cameras recording practically your every move in public.


Right, yet I'd be more concerned about the FB & other social media data-gatherers..with their new Face ID push to scan yer mug. The gov photos wont be collated for a while, imo.


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

MountainGirl said:


> Right, yet I'd be more concerened about the FB & other social media data-gatherers..with their new Face ID push to scan yer mug. The gov photos wont be collated for a while, imo.


I believe any photo taken by an official agency for permitting or licensing is already on file in the NSA's supercomputers. But you're correct about social media. People are careless and have no conception of OPSEC.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Funny you bring this up. I did something similar about a month ago.

Due to eye problems, I decided to sell my bikes. However I joined the MC in about 1970, and at that time it was fashionable to return your colors if you no longer owned a bike. In keeping with that, I called a club enforcer and told him I was officially a "pedestrian." He didn't know what to do.

I took off my Harley vest, and went to a local store in the mall (black lights, dim atmosphere, junky clothes for millennials, etc) and I bought myself a grey vest with no emblems at all on it. Then I went to the Harley shop and asked them for a pair of Tyson boots--in brown.

For us old guys, nothing is as sad and as maddening as a "poser." If you wear a vest that says "Harley," you'd better own one! I do not.

As for the boots, MoCo tried selling brown boots for almost two years, they weren't received well. Bikers seem to like black everything. So I bought brown Tysons, a model I've found comfortable for years.

Now my vest does have a "Molon Labe" patch on it, and another similar one that says "With Your Shield Or On It," but that's a personal statement.

In truth, I now look like just another retired guy shopping at the mall on Saturday. I drink coffee at a place that allows CCW, and usually carry two knives of varying polish levels. But even though I rode for about 50 years, I am no longer a biker.

...I did keep the 'chain wallet' as that's just smart when amongst snatch and grab thieves...


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

The Tourist said:


> Funny you bring this up. I did something similar about a month ago.
> 
> Due to eye problems, I decided to sell my bikes. However I joined the MC in about 1970, and at that time it was fashionable to return your colors if you no longer owned a bike. In keeping with that, I called a club enforcer and told him I was officially a "pedestrian." He didn't know what to do.
> 
> ...


You may not have the bike, and you may not have the vest, but you will _*never*_ not be a biker. Your honor proves that and speaks volumes. Respect.


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

sideKahr said:


> I believe any photo taken by an official agency for permitting or licensing is already on file in the NSA's supercomputers. But you're correct about social media. People are careless and have no conception of OPSEC.


Yep. And, they wont need to distribute FB's FaceID's "Who is Near You" app, the population is doing that joyfully! 
NSA will just be utilizing it, along with other 'gray man hunters'. :glasses:


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

@MountainGirl, I appreciate the comments, but I wasn't the kind you brought home to mother back in the days of yore. I did get to meet many mentors who made sure I knew how to speak the truth and show up when I promised. I think there are less than ten of the original guys I rode with.

BTW, most guys in the cutlery game are straight up, too.


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

The Tourist said:


> @MountainGirl, I appreciate the comments, but I wasn't the kind you brought home to mother back in the days of yore. ...


I know what you mean. Neither is my Tom.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

MountainGirl said:


> I know what you mean. Neither is my Tom.


LOL, you sound like my wife. She dresses nice because she's a teacher. I tell her to bury me as I am, because I always wear my best jeans...

Now back to the topic. MountainGirl, I remember as a kid that they told women not to wear expensive jewelry out in public as it was a magnet for thieves. That was in the 1950s.

This is the "Gray Man" thread, but perhaps you could update us on the steps you take as a woman. I always carp at my wife something like, _"C'mon, toss on some jeans and let's go!"_ She still always adds a touch of fashion. Then again, it's my back to the wall.

Got any ideas she might follow?


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

The Tourist said:


> LOL, you sound like my wife. She dresses nice because she's a teacher. I tell her to bury me as I am, because I always wear my best jeans...
> 
> Now back to the topic. MountainGirl, I remember as a kid that they told women not to wear expensive jewelry out in public as it was a magnet for thieves. That was in the 1950s.
> 
> ...


 Not a one, lol, sorry.

I'm (we're) already living the Grey Man life up here on the mountain. When I left the 'City' and all that that entails (which is as much a frame of mind as it is a location, imo) the total freedom of not worrying about what others might think is beyond description. I still look _real_ good in my jeans, flannel shirts & blonde braid down my back - but it's nothing that stands out around here - or for the times we go down where people are.

As far as your wife's 'Grey Man' choices? You could maybe suggest that whatever footwear she has on, she's able to walk in them for miles if need be. There's some really stylin and expensive (if that's her thing) footgear out there..but make sure they fit right. She could keep them in her car,with the right socks, then if...well, you know the rest.


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## TGus (Sep 18, 2017)

Urinal Cake said:


> How to be a Gray Man
> 
> But, in order to be a gray man, it takes more than just a change of clothes.


I prefer to be the "poor man", -the one who obviously has nothing worth stealing. I want them to notice me, and decide against looking at me again.


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## Prepared One (Nov 5, 2014)

sideKahr said:


> I like this technique for a prolonged SHTF situation.
> 
> I bought a jeans jacket with a corduroy collar in a surplus store. Three sizes too big, baggy and mis-shapen, you know the type. I'm in the process of strategically wearing it out by washing it repeatedly, spotting it with chlorine and messing it up with some paint to make it look dirty. It's big enough to hide anything under it, and topped with a beat up old baseball cap with a local team's logo, I think It'll make me look like a distastefully un-memorable bum-type guy you would avoid so that I don't ask you for some change. "Hey buddy, can you help out an old altar boy?"
> 
> I have to keep an eye on the wife, though. I caught her once throwing out some old shoes that were part of my Gray Man gear.


I already have a gene jacket like that hanging in the closet. That and an old beat up long leather jacket from my Chicago days. They are like old friends. Old friends my wife keeps trying to walk to the trash. :vs_OMG:


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

I actually posted on this thread yesterday. But when I looked at it this morning, pre-coffee, I thought it said, "How to be a GAY man." Sheesh, I'm getting old.


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

sideKahr said:


> I actually posted on this thread yesterday. But when I looked at it this morning, pre-coffee, I thought it said, "How to be a GAY man." Sheesh, I'm getting old.


The way the cities are going - 'gay' might blend in better than 'gray'. :tango_face_grin:


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

Well I'm not a happy guy


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

AquaHull said:


> Well I'm not a happy guy


Why not AquaHull? Whats up?


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

Back is sore from sitting on a Bucket

I don't play well with others of the "other" perversion.
SausageTuck MeatChicken is one of those no-go zones for BB 




:vs_no_no_no:


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

AquaHull said:


> I don't play well with others of the "other" perversion.


Ah, right.
Just keep your powder dry and you'll be okay. 
:vs_coffee::vs_cool:


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

MountainGirl said:


> Ah, right. Just keep your powder dry and you'll be okay.


While I can understand his problem, my disgust derives from people who float through life and just won't commit to excellence.

For example, let's say the former King of the gay-pride float was a talented togishi. I'd rather spend the day watching him work and getting some pointers than sit with a tubby guy in a cammo shirt with twenty guns and thinks "NRA" stands for 'nude redheaded Albanians.'

I just bought the best knife I have ever held (I now have three of them) and I paid 59 bucks for a knife that was originally priced for over 200 dollars. It's "different," even ugly. But it's crafted of the best stuff and it looks like it was assembled by the quality control guy at NASA. People don't read anymore unless it's on FaceBook.

There are scores of organizations I don't like, but in each one I've found a guy with all his shiit in one sock. Intellect is the not the sole proviso of our group. Knowledge is where you find it.


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## MountainGirl (Oct 29, 2017)

The Tourist said:


> While I can understand his problem, my disgust derives from people who float through life and just won't commit to excellence...


My disgust derives from people who are disgusted with other people's choices, including the choice to be disgusted by other people's choices, which then also includes me. :stupid:


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> ...a guy with all his shiit in one sock...


You whole post was good, but this is EXCELLENT.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

MountainGirl said:


> My disgust derives from people who are disgusted with other people's choices, including the choice to be disgusted by other people's choices, which then also includes me.


I have a couple of code-breakers at NORAD taking this statement apart to ascertain its true meaning. I am told one Cray Computer started smelling like burnt cork as several key components charred themselves before imploding.

We should have 'Girls reply decoded by early next week...


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## Ragnarök (Aug 4, 2014)

Zip codes will become targets. Any country residence connected to a road will become a target. Farms will be targeted. Rivers and lakes will be dangerous to linger by. Stay away from valuable areas and you are more likely to survive. This is the case in a really bad scenario imo. 

In terms of shtf in the city: if you have stock piles of food it would be best not to tell anyone before shtf. Once shtf you will see who your true friends are. The loyal friends I will bring in if they need help. 

Sad to say but having a dog will be a liability and create more danger for you if you are alone. Starving people will want to eat the dog for one and another thing is you will be more suspected of having more food if you can support feeding a dog. In a event which people are starving be careful not to have the dog at a healthy weight. Ration the food to a point that the dog is skragly. No fat dogs!...may seem common sense but I truly believe mistakes and over sights like that will determine fates of many. It depends on if you are alone or in a group. If alone the dog is a liability if not the dog is a bonus. 

As far as going out in public once shtf... have zero identifying marks on your self. No visible tattoos. Do not linger places. Do not smile and do not scowl. If you must talk do so quickly. Be blunt so people get the message quickly. Do not have a pattern to anything you do in public. Study maps of where you will be so you do not get lost. Do not pull a map out in public. Wear big baggy clothes so that you can carry trade items or scavenged items in pockets sewn to the inside.


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

The Tourist said:


> While I can understand his problem, my disgust derives from people who float through life and just won't commit to excellence.
> 
> For example, let's say the former King of the gay-pride float was a talented togishi. I'd rather spend the day watching him work and getting some pointers than sit with a tubby guy in a cammo shirt with twenty guns and thinks "NRA" stands for 'nude redheaded Albanians.'
> 
> ...


i THINK Sir Elton is a great performer.
Do I want to hang with him? Probably not. Depends if he wears the skirt I guess.


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## Ragnarök (Aug 4, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> While I can understand his problem, my disgust derives from people who float through life and just won't commit to excellence.
> 
> For example, let's say the former King of the gay-pride float was a talented togishi. I'd rather spend the day watching him work and getting some pointers than sit with a tubby guy in a cammo shirt with twenty guns and thinks "NRA" stands for 'nude redheaded Albanians.'
> 
> ...


What knife did you get? My knife collection always needs new additions.


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## The Tourist (Jun 9, 2016)

Ragnarök said:


> What knife did you get? My knife collection always needs new additions.


I bought a Kizer designed by Klecker. It's made from S35VN, and was assembled so perfectly it's stunning. Here's the funny part, it was to be sold at 205.95, but the public thought it was so ugly they kept lowering the price. I got the last one for 59 bucks.

Blue Ridge is out of them. You might have to try a different dealer.


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## yooper_sjd (May 14, 2017)

TGus said:


> I prefer to be the "poor man", -the one who obviously has nothing worth stealing. I want them to notice me, and decide against looking at me again.


how the hell do you play poor man??? you live in a 3 story home, in a rich neighborhood!!!!!!! What yr vehicle do you drive??? ritzy SUV??? Me I play the part of the poor man, drive a beatup 91 ford F150, dented, cracked windsheild, ect....... You sir need to practice the roll of "poor man" alittle better.


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## TGus (Sep 18, 2017)

yooper_sjd said:


> how the hell do you play poor man??? you live in a 3 story home, in a rich neighborhood!!!!!!! What yr vehicle do you drive??? ritzy SUV??? Me I play the part of the poor man, drive a beatup 91 ford F150, dented, cracked windsheild, ect....... You sir need to practice the roll of "poor man" alittle better.


When people refer to the "gray man" approach, they're generally talking about someone who doesn't stand out when in an unfamiliar environment, -not at home. Granted, I have a nicer house than most around me, (By the way it's 4 stories, not including the basement.), but I live in a middle-class neighborhood, and the only car we own is a 1999 Toyota, (which still runs like new). I can act as a "poor man" because I've spent a lot of time poor in my life, sometimes with less than a dollar to spend on food per week. Besides, I don't plan on going in and out of my house using the front door. My back door can't be seen from the street, and my yard connects with a couple of neighbor's yards, which I travel through to get to the street most days; (I have their permission.).


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## Ragnarök (Aug 4, 2014)

TGus said:


> When people refer to the "gray man" approach, they're generally talking about someone who doesn't stand out when in an unfamiliar environment, -not at home. Granted, I have a nicer house than most around me, (By the way it's 4 stories, not including the basement.), but I live in a middle-class neighborhood, and the only car we own is a 1999 Toyota, (which still runs like new). I can act as a "poor man" because I've spent a lot of time poor in my life, sometimes with less than a dollar to spend on food per week. Besides, I don't plan on going in and out of my house using the front door. My back door can't be seen from the street, and my yard connects with a couple of neighbor's yards, which I travel through to get to the street most days; (I have their permission.).


Be careful of patterns. Alpha predators can see through plain clothes.


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

yooper_sjd said:


> Me I play the part of the poor man, drive a beatup 91 ford F150, dented, cracked windsheild, ect....... You sir need to practice the roll of "poor man" alittle better.


Luxury!!! I drive an '89 S10 beater pickup with the back window busted out.


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## TGus (Sep 18, 2017)

StratMaster said:


> Luxury!!! I drive an '89 S10 beater pickup with the back window busted out.


Well, I feel for you, my friend.


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## TGus (Sep 18, 2017)

Ragnarök said:


> Be careful of patterns. Alpha predators can see through plain clothes.


You are so right. Actually, I've always believed that there are some major fallacies with the "gray man" concept.

For one, as you mentioned, *EVERYONE* gets evaluated by people on the make. I don't care what you're wearing or how you act. Whether you look strange or not makes *NO* difference to them. They will *NOT* miss anyone, even in a crowd.

Secondly, these people are really good at evaluating what you might have, whether you're wearing a gray or yellow jersey, or whatever.

Just don't carry anything valuable into unfamiliar territory and where people can see you're carrying something hidden. Save that for nighttime or in your trusted neighborhood.


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## StratMaster (Dec 26, 2017)

TGus said:


> Well, I feel for you, my friend.


No need, just going all Monty Python on ya. I can afford a new truck, I'm just a very frugal guy.


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## sideKahr (Oct 15, 2014)

TGus said:


> ...Just don't carry anything valuable into unfamiliar territory and where people can see you're carrying something hidden...


I plan on carrying a stainless Smith & Wesson Performance Center .45 Auto. It's pretty valuable, but I don't forsee anyone taking it from me.


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## yooper_sjd (May 14, 2017)

TGus, you really have no idea the parts of the world I have been too, and actually have blended into the crowd for my own safety. I was in italy when the USO in Naples was blown up. The Red Brigade and various other groups were hunting down americans. I use to be married to an arab. I was sitting in coffee bar in North Africa the 1st time we bombed the shit out of Kadafi's regime. Luckily I have Mediterranean looks, olive skin, black hair, brown eyes. I do speak italian, spanish and some arabic. So I had no problems blending into the crowd. When it comes to going grey, I have been there and done that in the wide open. Hell, even had a Israeli tour guide pull a gun on me in a coffee bar because I asked for a cup of black coffee in arabic. He insisted I was syrian because of the arab accent I had when speaking arabic. No I did not go with the other military members on the tour pointed out by this same tour guide, I went to the opposite side of the street to make myself less of a target away from the main group.


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## TGus (Sep 18, 2017)

yooper_sjd said:


> TGus, you really have no idea the parts of the world I have been too, and actually have blended into the crowd for my own safety. I was in italy when the USO in Naples was blown up. The Red Brigade and various other groups were hunting down americans. I use to be married to an arab. I was sitting in coffee bar in North Africa the 1st time we bombed the shit out of Kadafi's regime. Luckily I have Mediterranean looks, olive skin, black hair, brown eyes. I do speak italian, spanish and some arabic. So I had no problems blending into the crowd. When it comes to going grey, I have been there and done that in the wide open. Hell, even had a Israeli tour guide pull a gun on me in a coffee bar because I asked for a cup of black coffee in arabic. He insisted I was syrian because of the arab accent I had when speaking arabic. No I did not go with the other military members on the tour pointed out by this same tour guide, I went to the opposite side of the street to make myself less of a target away from the main group.


I've spent years in China, and several other countries too, -though not on military tours; I worked there on my own. I guess you'll do well if the USA is invaded by Arabs, (Aren't we already?), or you're abroad when SHTF happens.


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## TGus (Sep 18, 2017)

sideKahr said:


> I plan on carrying a stainless Smith & Wesson Performance Center .45 Auto. It's pretty valuable, but I don't forsee anyone taking it from me.


I may be paranoid, but I can think of several ways a group could relieve me of my carry gun if they were smart.


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## charito (Oct 12, 2013)

Scents. If you're going to mingle with anyone, make sure you have not used scented soap, or have any scent clinging on you. Your hair shouldn't exude the scent of shampoo. Your breath shouldn't smell like toothpaste or mouthwash.....or, of any food.


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## Annie (Dec 5, 2015)

Best to stay away from other people if shtf happens. But if it can't be helped and gray man isn't working and you're in trouble try acting bat-shit crazy, like you're psychotic and out of your meds. Scare them away.


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