# Just a few tips for noobs



## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Your campfire smoke will attract hungry zombs from miles around-









Draw your money out of the bank to buy food before the government closes all banks in a time of 'National Emergency', or if the bank decides to close for whatever reason like here-









Use good equipment-









Avoid bad areas-









Keep metal (especially magnets) away from your compass or you could end up going to the store and ending up in the jungle like Richard Widmark in 'Run for the Sun' when a magnetic item in his ladyfriends purse threw his planes compass off- 









Make sure your body armour covers weak spots-









Make sure you can trust your neighbour not to bulldoze your spring-

















Don't let on to your neighbours that you've got a basement bunker or they'll try to smash in when it hits the fan like in this Twilight Zone episode entitled 'The Shelter'-
_1-a jolly neighbourhood party, what could possibly go wrong?
2- Radio announcer-"Incoming missiles, get into your bunkers!"
3- "Lemme in, I'm your mate!"....."Get away, f*** off!"
4- "Let us in!"
5- "We're in!"....Radio announcer-"False alarm, there are no missiles!" 
6- "Get out of my house you s.o.b's!"_

















Think twice before using your radio and giving away your position-









Don't leave your prep shopping too late-









Stock up with plenty of food, you can't eat money-


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## Dr. Prepper (Dec 20, 2012)

Don't pitch your tent on a river bank.


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## GTGallop (Nov 11, 2012)

don't piss in fresh water.


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## Leon (Jan 30, 2012)

I am more prepared than any of you can ever be.

-Clang


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## AquaHull (Jun 10, 2012)

My family used to communicate with smoken signals, where you see smoke,beware of the fire upon you.


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## BDylan (Jan 2, 2013)

A lot of folks spend a lifetime preparing. They are really just well provisioned victims. -Clang


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Site your cabin so as not to be seen-









Don't give away your location-









Don't feel guilty about prepping, You'll be whooping it up with food, drink, warmth, light..









But the unprepared shmuks won't-









Protect your pets-









Don't touch any suspicious junk-









Keep away from strange creatures-









Bug out when you have to-


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## Leon (Jan 30, 2012)

lololol "Right...let's bugger off"


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## MikeyPrepper (Nov 29, 2012)

lolololol


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Find a nice location-
_"*Thank god that voyage is over, i was puking my guts up all the way across the Atlantic*".._









Try to get on well with the family next door-









Preppers don't rely on luck, they make their own luck, right Kid?
_"*Right*".._









Give your group the strong leadership it needs-









Be careful about accepting new members-









Watch your back-









Avoid needlessly putting your neck on the line-


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Guard your well-









Get the right mindset to survive a rough SHTF world-
_"*Take the pain! TAKE THE PAIN*!"_









Fortify your location-









Defend yourself and your property like Al said-
_"*If somebody messes wid me, i'm a-gonna mess wid him*!"_









Bug out of the city before the jams form-


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## Dr. Prepper (Dec 20, 2012)

Concerning your bug out plans - here are some reminders . . .








#1 Bug out early. You just might encounter a small increase in traffic.








#2 Plan ahead.








#3 Use only reliable transportation.








#4 Anticipate larger than usual crowds.


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Check your foundations









Avoid landslide-prone areas (Brazil)









Keep clear of lava beds (Hawaii)









And try not to have a volcano on your doorstep (Iceland)


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Avoid crowded campsites (Pakistan)









Beware flood-prone locations (Georgia)









Avoid suspicious neighbours









Don't hole up in a cave with one way in and one way out
(US troops set fire to brushwood at cave entrance to smoke out Japs on Okinawa)


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Don't live below a ridge that has got loose boulders on it


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## Dr. Prepper (Dec 20, 2012)

Remember this next time . . .


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## Dr. Prepper (Dec 20, 2012)

If it ain't broke - don't fix it.


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## Carp614 (Jan 21, 2013)

Rule # 1: Cardio


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## JAGER (Oct 10, 2012)

You think Leon? Come to Germany and I'll show you prepping!!!! -Commel= still working it!


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## JAGER (Oct 10, 2012)

Know your equipment and how to use it!


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Put up a strong perimeter round your location-


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## jimb1972 (Nov 12, 2012)

JAGER said:


> View attachment 1318
> 
> 
> Know your equipment and how to use it!


Ouch, probably eventually fatal in a SHTF situation if you don't stock antibiotics. Nasty way to go.


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## PaulS (Mar 11, 2013)

Lucky Jim said:


> Put up a strong perimeter round your location-


That way they know that you have something worth taking and exactly where it is.


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## longrider (Mar 25, 2013)

I'm writing all these tips down...:shock:


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Be on the lookout for signs of dangerous creatures on the prowl-









Invest in a good set of maps.
(Liberated forced labourers going home at end of WW2)-









Don't get a reputation for being standoffish, accept your neighbours invites to barbecues-


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## GTGallop (Nov 11, 2012)

Propper
Prior
Planning
Prevents
Piss
Poor 
Performance


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Try to avoid letting on you're a survivalist-


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## Lucky Jim (Sep 2, 2012)

Keep your food stocks under wraps


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